Poetry & Plays | Hipster Runoff

Poetry & Plays

Celebrating 4/20 with my Deadbeat Uncle.

Photo by thecobrasnake


I used to be a lot like you when I was your age. A twenty something without a job. Yeah, I was a smart dude too. Believe it or not, I went to college too. Didn't cost as much when I went, so I'm not in debt and desperate for a job like you, but I've had a good life. Am I rich? Nope. Have I had great life experiences? Hell yeah!

And I look alright, don't I? Yeah. I still party. I can still hang with the best of 'em. I can still chill. U smoke weed?

You got a good outlook on life, kid. A good way of life. Don't listen to the mainstream machine that wants you to be like THEM. You and ME are on a team together. Yeah, we're outsiders. When they look at us, they don't necessarily understand us... but at the end of the day, who is really happy? Them in their houses in the suburbs with alarm security systems guarding their stainless steel fridges? Or you and me, gettin high off our asses and fallin' asleep who knows where every night.

Oh your parents got you an apartment still? That's nice of 'em. Last time I asked them for money they gave me a $200 Visa giftcard and told me not to come on their property for 10 years. You can't buy a gram with a Visa Giftcard, that's for sure.

U ever bet your life on an NBA playoff game?

It's good of you to spend some time with your Uncle. I know your mom and especially your dad didn't want me around when you kids were young. But they were probably right. Honestly I couldn't have made it to your house any ways because I would usually go on holiday bonus benders, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

You get pussy? Yeah. I'll bet you do. U think a guy like me gets pussy? Ask me when's the last time I got pussy. I got pussy last night. Don't ask me how she looked though! I'm just kiddin' she's a good girl. Actually I've been thinking of asking her to marry me. I'm thinking of settling down a little bit more. Actually maybe not

U do drugs? Yeah I've done a lot of drugs. Dope. Grass. Weed. Smack. Smut. Horse. Powder. Pop. Speedballs. Hogballs. Dope balls. The Brown. The Black. The Purple. Purple balls. Acid. Fluff. MDMA. Brazilian bikini grass. Mary Jane. And her sister too. Some of the highs were real, real good. Did I OD? Maybe. I don't remember.

U ever live at the YMCA for a year?

Yeah. At the end of the day. I'm a weed guy. I don't like drinkin' too much. Makes my belly hurt. But grass. Grass makes Pappy feel real, real good. I like to watch a good baseball game and smoke some grass, that's for sure.

Yeah we're a lot alike. We should hang out more. U like this grass? What bands u been listening to? U ever heard of Woodstock? YEah I wish I coulda gone to that. Yeah I've hearda that band... U think I'm too old, huh? I got surprises. I got a laptop. I know how to google. I even got a facebook. Does I use it? Hell no. I get my pussy other ways.

U ever been involved in a prostitution ring? Nevermind.

Obama huh? Nah. I voted for this local candidate who wants to legalize grass. The way I sees it, if we just pay for all our debts selling good, clean dope to good people like you and me. Yeah, I've had bad experiences (mostly with powders and synthetics) but at the end of the day, these pharmaceutical companies would love to sell dope. I mean hell. People is always addicted to something... Might as well be some good green bud.

U know how far the American dollar goes in the Pacific Rim? I lived there for 10 years after I won some money on a scratch off ticket.

I didn't go to college. Nope. But I learned more from life anyways. I served in the military too. I didn't see active time, but I am a veteran. Yeah we partied. I see a good benefits check every month. Don't tell Uncle Sam what I do with it...

U ever grown poppy? Afghanistan was a hell of a country before 2001.

Yeah we're a lot alike. I used to be like you. I mean, life really is about finding urself. It's a process. To tell the truth, I'm still lookin' for me. But that's the thing. They tell you life's a destination. But you know.

It's real good of you to hang out with your Uncle. I got a lot of friends. But don't get me wrong. Family's family. Do I hate your dad? Hell yeah I do. Do I respect him? Yeah.... I do. At the end of the day I do. He went after a dream that I didn't want. And hell... I went after a dream he didn't want. Who had a better life? Only God knows.

You know, kid. You're at that point. You're here doin' all that mary jane, that hoo-hah, the good stuff. And you are about to decide. Do you wanna be like Daddy, or do you wanna be like Good Ol' Uncle Pappy?

Happy 4/20 from ur Deadbeat Uncle!

How did U celebrate 4/20?

Snowed-In in Suburbia: A Play by Carles

I had just graduated from college 1.5 years ago, and I was still living with my parents in an irrelevant Midwestern area. It had been a really difficult time, getting in tons of arguments, living in relatively close quarters. But I was doing my best 2 get by... Doing my best to move the hell out of there, but still trying to stay connected to a local metropolitan hub that was 50 miles away from where I lived.

My name is Tom. This is my story. This is my story of the Blizzard of 2k11.

Mom: Son, you know there's a blizzard coming.
Tom: I don't really read the weather or local news, just blogs.
Mom: Come into the den, son. The local news is on.
Tom: The local news is a fucking joke meant 2 scare old ppl. I don't have time 4 that shit.
Mom: Please don't curse in my house. Maybe when you get a job, you can curse.
Tom: I told you. The recession has made it really difficult to get jobs in my industry.
Mom: I told ya you shouldn't have majored in graphic design. Your dad is a financial planner and he makes a good living.
Tom: Dad is the unhappiest person I've ever met in my life.

...scream from other room...

Dad: I'd be a lot happier if yous guys stopped nagging at eachother. I'm tryin' to watch the game!

Mom: Tom. You gotta keep it down. Tax season is killing your father!
Tom: Whatever.
Mom: Hush up. Watch the weather with me. It's about to start.
Local News Meteorologist on the TV: We are expecting this to be the blizzard of a lifetime. Please stay inside. Cover your pipes. Leave your faucets dripping. Bring your pets indoors. Get your fire wood ready.
Mom: See? I told u. Good thing I stocked up on tons of Wolf Brand Chili.

Tom: Well I was planning on going into the city to see a show. Do you mind if I borrow the car?
Mom: You're not taking the car out in this weather.
Tom: How else am I gonna get into the city? My favourite buzzband is playing.
Mom: You really shouldn't leave the house. I'm not just being your mother. This is gonna be huge.

...overheard from other room...
Dad: Who is taking the car out? No way any one takes the car out. Every one is staying indoors tonight!

Mom: Listen to your father.
Tom: I bought these tickets over 5 months ago. This buzzband doesn't come to our small Midwestern area that often, and I CANNOT miss this. I'm going to walk 2.5 miles to the train station and try to make it in. You can't stop me.
Mom: Don't go out or else we're not gonna let you live here. Our house. Our rules.
Tom: This is fucking bullshit. You don't understand. They were recently Best New Musicked on Pitchfork, and the next time they come thru town, there are gonna be soo many lamestreamers at the show. This is a huge deal.
Mom: I don't know what all of that means, but there is a BLIZZARD coming. You need to stay indoors. I may not be a meteorologist or a buzzbandologist or even 'Geologist' from that band you made me listen to in the car on the way to the grocery store. But please, as your mom, the person who loves you the most in the world.

I started my walk thru suburbia. The wind was blowing at what seemed like 100 miles per hour. The snow was falling. I couldn't see 2 feet in front of my face. It took me several hours to walk just 2.5 miles. Many people at the train station were coming home to suburbia from the city. But I was going into the city. The train conductor told me I was crazy to be leaving home in this weather, but I had caught the last train into town.

Conductor: Ur crazy.
Tom: Listen. I am on my way to see a really important band, and maybe in 5 years you'll understand why I had to do this. I care about the live scene. I'm not just one of those buzzband fans who stays at home on the internet and listens to MP3s. I care about the live scene. You don't understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. But trust me. This is hella important.
Conductor: You're something else, kid. You're something else. Have you heard the Decemberists? I just listened 2 them on NPR.

I arrived in the city. It was a 'ghost_town.' The city was shut down. Cars were getting stuck in the snow. Got to the venue. No one was there. There was a sign on the Venue that said 'Closed.' I checked the buzzband's twitter, and they were talking about how they were stuck in a van somewhere on some random Midwestern Highway.

I didn't know what to do.
I looked up at the white sky
and the song "White Sky" by Vampire Weekend came on my iPod

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I yelled at the sky
"WHY?"
"Why Me?"
"Why do the indie gods fucking h8 me?"
"I'm in it for the right reasons."
"I came all the way from Suburbia."
"I really care about this buzzband's career and I was gonna buy merch from them so the money went directly into their pockets."
"I live in suburbia. Tonight was supposed to be special."

It was at that moment
That I realized maybe life in suburbia wasn't that bad.
Maybe I had been chasing the wrong things all along
Maybe my parents truly cared about me
Maybe I should have listened
Maybe they were right
Maybe I valued buzzbands too much
Maybe I needed to go back to school and get a real degree
Maybe I should just start working at my dad's office
Maybe I should stop cursing at my mom
Maybe I should value the 'roof over my head' no matter what part of the city it is located in.

I heard a rumble
The sound of some sort of lawnmower engine or something.
A man pulled up next to me on a a snow mobile
He took off his mask

Dad: Hop on, son. Let's go home.

I got on the back of the snowmobile, and wrapped my arms around my dad, giving him a hug for the entire ride. I felt like a little boy again. For the first time, I finally realized that my dad loved me. It was time for me to grow up. I was going to turn my life around. Sure I could enjoy the occasional buzzband, but it was time for me to start being a productive 20something instead of a tragic one.

I got home. My mom had made some of her famous gingersnaps, and was just pouring me a cup of hot cocoa. She said, "Welcome home, son."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I should have listened. I'm sorry."

"You don't worry about that, son. Now let's get you out of those clothes."

"Mom... Dad... I love you guys."

...overheard from other room....

Dad: Can you guys keep it down? I'm trying to watch Fallon. The musical guest is about to come on.

****#Good2BeHome*****

R u safe?
Were u hit by a blizzard/snow storm?
Do u care abt ppl in the Midwest?
Does God h8 the Midwest because they are all lamestreamers and deserve to be miserable?
Do you feel trapped in suburbia [due 2 'the elements]?
Does weather make u believe in God/a 'higher power'?
Did you go out to see a buzzband in this weather?
Were u trapped in the snow in suburbia?
Have u ever been trapped in a natural disaster with ur nuclear family?
Is Home where the heart is?

Plz share ur stories abt the Blizzard, and let us know that ur okay.

Where have all the Chili's gone?

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It makes me sad
When the suburbs expand
and old sections of 1st wave suburbia
are no longer relevant
no long sustainable

The architecture becomes outdated
Consumers want 'trendier' parts of the city 2 drive their cars 2
Franchise locations can no longer attract
Shops/stores/restaurants/everything closes down

Sometimes my life feels like an empty 1980s mall
in the 2010s
Wishing I could be an upscale modern outdoor gimmicky mall
in the relevant area of suburbia

But I am stuck in 'the ass crack' of the suburbs
2 many apartments, 2 many minorities in the area now
Everything has gone 2 shit

Where have all the Chili's gone?
Where have all the Chili's gone?

I remember when I was young
This area used to be different
It was a 'trendy' part of the suburbs
I was proud 2 call it home

But now, all of the local businesses are rlly shitty
and I have to drive another 5 miles to get to the relevant areas of suburbia

Where have all the southwestern egg rolls gone?

Even my favourite Johnny Carino's closed down

This used 2 be where I would buy groceries,
but now some new wave Christian church turned it in2 a church

This vacant shopping center was turned in2 a charter school
4 gifted and talented kids
(who want to go 2 school in an old super market)

Where have all the Chili's gone?

Sometimes I feel sad that I can't be a part of the 'new development'
Cutting edge movie theatres
New franchise restaurants
Huge outdoor stores
Lowe's and Home Depots 2 serve as 'refueling stations' for contractors
doing work on new regions of suburbia

Makes me sad
Living on the inskirts of suburbia
Development has moved beyond us
Wishing I could be a rich tween who took immense pride in living in the most relevant part of suburbia
Basking in the riches of the uppermiddle class lifestyle

The Chili's by my house relocated to a newer part of suburbia
and I'm not sure how 2 handle it

Where have all the The Suburbs gone?
there's more than this
There's more than this
Fuddruckers, Arby's, Panera Bread
Chili's, Bennigans, TGIFriday's
Red Robin, Ruby Tuesday, Boston Market
I want u 2 be close 2 me
so I don't have 2 cook healthy food 4 my family
Where have all the Chili's gone?

Sometimes u just want more
than 31 flavors
so u go 2 a place with a cold stone marble slab
where they mix in ur toppings

-the Arcade Fire

Do u feel sad when u drive thru outdated parts of suburbia?
Are there any vacant lots in ur suburban area that have been taken over by weird businesses/entities/religious groups?
Is suburbia 'expanding' 2 much?
Should we demolish the 'dead' parts of suburbia before continuing 2 expand?
If you were an impressionable consumer-wave tween, would u rather live in 'the ass crack' of suburbia or 'the relevant, new part of suburbia', 'right next to the mall/movie theatres'?
Have 'apartments' ruined suburbia [via low cost housing for drug users, minorities, and other ppl who are stressing the natural order of franchise restaurants]?

How Chili's Saved My Life: A Story by Carles

How Chili’s Saved/Ruined My Life.

A Play by Carles Chapter 1: Parents Just Don’t Understand, yall “Eff yall mom and dad, I’m not going to college”, I screamed down the stairs. It was the summer after my senior year, I was 18 years old, and didn’t have a plan. I lived most nights driving around suburbia, smoking dank, getting buzzed on Arbor Mist wine, and eating fast food from establishments like Jack N Da Box, Taco Bell, Chipotle, and Arby’s. I had just broken up with my girlfriend because she left to start summer school at a prestigious Ivy League University. There was no reason for her to stay with a guy like me. Her parents wouldn’t even let me see her because I got caught making love 2 her 1 time. Anyways, she was gone. All that was left were warm memories of her sweet, creamy vajeng. That was okay with me. Shit was getting stale anyways, and I wanted to bang other broads. You know the old saying, “There’s plenty of Nemos in the sea, and if u really want, u can find 1 [via Pixars]." It&#39;s true. The best way to get over a girl is to have sex with another one, or at least that is what my Uncle taught me before he died of a black tar heroin overdose. He was a good guy, but never got over serving his time in Vietnam. Life at home was a grind. My parents wanted to know I was going to do something with my life. They wanted to know my plan. Even if it was just community college for a year, they would get off my back. I needed to get an apartment so bad, but I didn’t have a job, therefore I didn’t have enough cash to pay $250 a month on rent. Oh well, at least the fridge had tons of DiGiornos, Freshettas, and Hot Pockets. As a dankwave bro, I was in heaven. Summer was about to end, and my parents wanted me to enroll in community college. They even told me that they would keep paying for my car, my health insurance, and wouldn&#39;t make me pay rent just as long as I took 15 hours worth of credits. It was my only chance to stay alive. Would I make it in Community College?

Continue Reading-- Part 2: Community College: Is it 4 me? >>>

Scene 2: Community College Registration I walked on to the community college campus on the outerloop of suburbia. The campus was nice, but it felt a little bit like a middle school, except for losers who were trying 2 get their life together, or ppl who were too poor to afford real college. Needless to say, I hated the vibe, because I had traveled extensively, and I knew there was a whole ‘nother world out there. I was surrounded by people who were pursuing outlandish careers such as ‘video game designer’, ‘aircraft mechanic’, ‘auto mechanic’, and ‘EMT first responder.’ When you looked at these people, you knew they would never achieve their dreams. They would be lucky if they worked their way up to manager at the local KFC. It seemed like there was a whole ‘nother genre of successful females in community college who were working to get their associates degrees to become the ‘women who wear scrubs at doctor’s offices but don’t do anything besides file papers, weight patients, and take their blood pressure.’ I walked up to some guy wearing a lame polo that said ‘Community College of the North Hills’ with the lame ass logo on it. He treated me like I actually belonged there, asking me what I wanted to do with my time at community college. Advisor: Hello! Welcome. Me: whatever Advisor: What do you want to major in? Me: I’m only gonna be here for a semester Advisor: Well what do you want to take this semester? Basic reqs? Me: Yeah, gonna sign up for art classes Advisor: Well, those are usually reserved for our Art Tech program students Me: that’s bullshit bro Advisor: Don’t talk to me like that Me: Go eff urself Advisor: Excuse me, young man. We don’t talk to people like that at this college Me: You call this a college? I call it a shit hole. It smells like a day care center here. Advisor: We actually offer day care services here. 30% of our commuter population has children. We don’t believe having a child should stop mothers and fathers from pursuing their dreams. Me: This place makes me sick? You call this a real college. I’ve got news for you... It’s not. This place is a shit hole, and if God ever returns to Earth to tear shit up, this place is gonna be the first to go. You should be ashamed of yourself. I will never, ever, fucking end up like you. And if I do, I won’t keep going. I will drive to the edge of town, and put a gun to my head, and end it all. I won’t waste my time marrying an ugly wife and having her poop out kids. You think you got a nice life? I got news for you. Your life is shit, this school is shit, and I’m fucking out of here. I walked out of the community college and drove away, relieved that I had escaped. I went home, and my parents asked me how it went. I told them that I dropped out, and there was no way that they could get a refund on the tuition, but planned on cashing the check that they wrote to buy some new HD televisions. They were pissed, told me I had to get a job by the end of the week. I walked to the local strip mall and started applying every where possible. Hot Topic, Pac Sun, Abercrombie and Fitch, American Apparel, Auntie Anne’s Soft Pretzels, Pretzel Tyme, Chic Fil A, McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King, J Crew, LaCoste, Godiva, Coldstones Creamerings, Basket and Robbens, Pinkberries, the Sharper Image, Circuit City, and even the place that sells shitty cookie cakes to people who can’t afford real cakes. Things weren’t looking good. I had to sit thru a family dinner at Chili’s where my parents just psychologically abused me. I looked towards the door, and happened to notice a sign that said “Now Hiring.”

Continue to Act III >>>>>

Scene 3: Interview at Chili’s Manager: Welcome to Chili’s. Are you familiar with our brand? Me: Yes, I try to eat here at least once a week. I love the atmosphere and experience. The servers are great people, and I would love to be a part of the family. Manager: Oh yeah? What’s ur favourite dish Me: There are so many choices. It is difficult to choose. Manager: Well let’s just say ur stuck on a LOST island... what would be your ‘bucket dish’? Me: It would probably have to be the Triple Dipper, the tasty appetizer with 3 options Manager: What would you get? Me: Probably South by Southwestern Egg rolls, Chicken Crispers, and boneless buffalo wings Manager: Great choices! You sound like my kind of guy Me: Hells yea! Manager: So are you in college or something? Me: No, I’m not. I’m trying to figure out what my passion is, what I’m trying to do with my life for the next year. Manager: I hear ya! College wasn’t for me, but I turned out okay. The restaurant biz is booming in this area. People can’t get enough Chili’s. Me: Yeah, every1 here seems really happy. Manager: We have a great team. We really are like a family. Me: I want to be a part of a family. Manager: Listen, you seem like a good guy. Right now we only have jobs available for bus boys. You’d start at the bottom, but have the chance to work your way up to food runner, host, and then a member of the waitstaff. Me: I’ll do anything. I just want to be a part of the team. Manager: It’s worth it. In 2 or 3 months, you can be promoted, or if some1 dies or gets a new job, you will move right up. Me: Do I get health insurance? Manager: No, but there are free meals. Me: How many meals per day? Manager: Formally, just one, but you can basically go into the kitchen and snack whenever you want. Just take food off people’s plates. Me: Oh yeah. Manager: Industry secret. Don’t let that one out. Me: Thanks for this opportunity. Manager: Don’t let me down, kid. Me: I won’t. Manager: Is there anything else you want to ask me? Me: Do I get a uniform? Manager: We issue you a black tshirt and black pants ,but many of our servers buy their own black t-shirts. Me: Can I wear my Slipknot tshirt if it is black? Manager: No. Me: Oh okay. Manager: Well yeah, like I was saying, we’re a real family here. Maybe you can come to our employee after party tonight. You do party, don’t you? Me: Yea, I party. Manager: We’re not drug tested here, so we can go as bat shit crazy as we want. Now if you worked at Applebee’s, you would get drug tested. Me: Yeah, my friend was fired from Applebees for failing a drug test. Manager: Shit. Me: Fuck. Manager: So what kinda music u like? Me: Just rock n roll Manager: U like nickelback? Me: Hell yea! Manager: Me too man. Me: Have u heard of Linkin park? Manager: I have that CD in my car right now. I love when they come on the radio. Me: Yeah, those dudes are so smart and they really understand the human condition. Manager: What is the ‘human condition’? Me: Well, it is the concept that we as humans are all suffering under the same constraints. Sorta like how we all have to make money, eat food, and how we are trapped under the government Manager: Yeah! But things are getting better since Obama got in office. Me: Yeah, he is really killing it. Manager: What do you think about terrorism? Me: I think it is bad. Manager: Me too, I wish we could find a way to end it. Me: There’s gotta be a better way. Maybe using peace. Manager: That’s so true, I never really thought about it that way. Me: Yeah. I read a lot of books by the Dolly Llama. Manager: Have u seen Napoleon Dynamite? Me: Yeah, I love that movie. Manager: Yeah there’s a llama in that shit. Me: Dude. Effing heeelarious. Manager: Llama. WTF is that thing? Like a donkey or something? Me: I don’t know dude, I think they glue cotton on a horse or something. Manager: Yeah shit is weird. Me: Vote for Pedro. Manager: Consider yourself voted on to team Chili’s! Me: Yay! Manager: g2g make some food but we’ll see you on Monday at 10 am sharp for the brunch shift. Me: It was a pleasure to meet you, and I am looking forward to our future together. I drove away from the Chili’s Parking Lot, and my life finally felt like it was ‘in place.’ I made the right decision by giving up on community college, and I had finally found a family. A career that would allow me to grow as a human, but also as an employee. I was tired of being an irresponsible bro. It was time for me to grow up. It was time for me to get inspired. It was time for me to stop thinking abt myself, and instead think about how I could make other people&#39;s lives&#39; better, even if the only way to do that was by serving people quality comfort food. I felt a new me. Sprouting out of my cocoon. I was once a moth but soon I will be a butterfly

Continue to Scene 4 >>>>
Scene 4: 2 Years Later, Assistant Manager at Chili’s

I had been working at Chili’s for two years, working my way up to assistant manager. My manager was still in place, but we shared a lot of responsibilities, and turned our Chili&#39;s franchise in to one of the top performing chains in the region. It was a great turnaround, and the guys from corporate even threw us a party at the end of last year. I still spend a lot of time waiting tables, since I was a people person. I love meeting new and exciting people. I love introducing them to our brand and retaining them as customers. I finally met Mrs. Right, a bartender named Samantha who made the best Mexican martinis in town. She had a gift and was even thinking about inventing her own cocktails, and when the local sports team played, she could make up to $300 in tips. That money really helped us, since that’s how much rent cost. We were saving up for a two bed room apartment in a nicer area because she was expecting our first child. Our manager was super cool about it, and let her keep working as a bartender even though she was pregnant. Don&#39;t worry. She wasn&#39;t drinking while she was pregnant. Chili&#39;s was a great place to work. Here&#39;s a video youtube of us singing Happy Birthday to a family. No, we might not have the best voices, but you can tell it is a unique consumer experience where we really care about you. You can really taste the love in every bite.

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I&#39;ve grown up a lot. Sometimes I think about the person I was when I dropped out of community college. I was spoiled. I thought I was better than every one else, and I thought that my life was more special than every1 else&#39;s. I was dead wrong. My life is just as special as every one else&#39;s. It feels good to be alive, good to be positive. I have a better relationship with my parents, and realize that they just cared about me. Maybe life didn&#39;t turn out the way I thought it would. I&#39;m not a rock star. I&#39;m not a millionaire. I don&#39;t even own my own small business. But there is security in my life. I have an employer that cares for both me and my life partner. We&#39;re young, and we have our own little place. It&#39;s good. Things are good. It&#39;s not much, but I call it home. And every one needs a home... Maybe next fall... I&#39;ll start community college again. Maybe I&#39;ll go into it with a whole new perspective. Maybe I&#39;ll make friends. Maybe I&#39;ll use their daycare service. Maybe I&#39;ll apologize to every1 in my life who I let down in the past. Chili&#39;s gave me a second chance.

Continue to Chapter 5: New Beginnings >>>>>

Scene 5: New Beginnings & Reflections This is my life. I work at Chili&#39;s This is my life. God Bless us, every1 Chili&#39;s food Asst Manager I dropped out of community college. Having my first child. Hi. This is a story abt how Chili&#39;s Saved My Life Saved Me. Saved Me From Myself. My Name is Nathan Jeffries. I am a man now.

FINAL ACT: The End >>>>>
FINAL ACT: The End >>>>>

Nathan Jeffries was found dead in his apartment on October 4, 2010. Authorities say it was a meth overdose. They found him dead on the floor with an uneaten To Go order from TGIFriday&#39;s. He is survived by his wife Samantha Jeffries and their daughter Dipping Sauce Jeffries, named after &#39;dipping sauces&#39; at Chili&#39;s Soon after Nathan died, his local Chili&#39;s closed after authorities discovered that the restaurant was just a money laundering and drug front operated by the manager. The Manager soon took a paternity test, and turned out to be the father of Dipping Sauce Jeffries. He left to Mexico and was never heard from again. Nathan Jeffries was buried in an unmarked grave in the parking lot of a Chili&#39;s in his hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.

H8 consumerism, material things, social status, & cash money

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Sometimes I doubt the world so much
I lose faith in humanity
Honestly believe that 'money' is the only thing that makes the world go round
'Oil' and 'cash money' have torn apart our relationships with the A-Rab world
leading to terrorism & acts of mad violence + hate

Every1 just wants to be rich and famous
gathering piles of moneys in buildings called 'banks'
Wish money didn't exist, and we could just barter goods & services
People would pay to be an artist
I could pay 4 my bread and cold cuts with cool paintings and digital .jpg memes
Wish ppl didn't give a shit about Rolex Indiglo watches, Macbook Pros, and 'huge houses in suburbia'

I guess the Arcade Fire was right when they sang the infamous line
"H8 u the Suburbs, yall."
And also AnCo was right when they sang
"I'd rather be chilling in Adobe slabs... Seeya!"
Vampire Weekend was also right when they sang
"Sigh... Wish we lived in the 3rd world, appreciated our lives' and chilled on Horchata."

How can I get back 2 basics?
How can I restore my faith?
How can I believe in us again?
How can I believe in humanity?

A meaningful interactive real life art installation
Taking place outside 'in real life' [via on my street]
Going to put several hundred $1 bills into a tree on my street
and see if real life humans
act like 'hunters and gatherers', 'savages'

Each piece of US currency will also have an 'inspiration note' on it.

It seems like I only live in a white neighborhood
and every1 'adhered to chill societal rules'
taking only one or two dollars
And took a moment to read the meaningful note on the dollar bill

As a white person, I can guarantee that minorities would have been 'savages'
about this tree
Homeless people would have acquired a month's supply of drugs, alcohol, and Burger King
relieved they didn't ruin my video
Relieved I picked a safe location
outside of the apartment which my parents pay 4 with their metaphorical money tree
which I pull dollar bills from

At the end of the day, maybe I wasn't really even interested in 'improving society'
or 'restoring faith'
I just feel better about myself for creating an art installation in public space
creating a meme that exists on the internet
even though it was a pretty trivial 'experiment'
that offers no valuable insight in2 humanity/consumerism/greed

Did this unique artistic project transcend society?

Do yall feel 'inspired' by this project?
Was it 'brilliant'?
Do u h8 society/consumerism?
Do people and tweens only care about money?
Should they have 'manned up' and put $100 bills in the tree?
Should they have done this in a black neighborhood?
Is some 'generic white neighborhood in Chicago' representative of humanity/society?
Do u think black people were arrested if they took a dollar from this money tree?

WHAT HAPPENS IN V.I.P. STAYS IN V.I.P.

photo via some twitter


There's nothing more demeaning
than going to a music festival
and standing with 'the common folk'
General Admission status confirms ur status as the 'cattle' of the music industry.
Herded around some field like u have no brain
It's sorta like a modern version of 'poor people'

It is a collection of people who are 'poor' in terms of cultural relevancy
People paying $200+ to 'be a part of the festival'
Watching buzzbands play their instruments
in the same way that Middle Americans watch 'the goddamned TV'
turning into 'couch potatoes'

They loaf on their blankets
smoking weed
paying for $10 beers
eating metaphorical sausage on a stick [via consumerism]

I never want to sit with those people
College bros, festival bros, cool dads with money having a chill weekend
Girls who just want to get half naked and have bros stare at their tits
Parents who brought their babies to the festival (some without earplugs)

I am a part of the VIP section
We live behind a fence
a buffer zone
from negative/mainstreamer vibes

Whether ur a buzzband
an insider
a blogger
a newspaper man
the 'manager' of a buzzband
or some1 who just has 'connections

Every1 who is 'some1' is in VIP
(and also a few unchill bros who ruin the vibes)
Free alcohol, free food, free 'gear' [via festival sponsors]
They take care of us, because they need us

VIP is about 'feeding the buzzcycle of life'
Very Important Persons don't need to be a part of 'the mainstream crowd'
We are tastemakers for those 'fucking trendstreamers'

Many people will ask 'Do u think ur better than me because ur VIP?'
My answer will be, "yes.
I earned the right to be VIP
Do u know how many memes I've dropped?
How many eyes have seen my tweets?
How many buzzbands I've both broken and euthanized?
How many genres I've created?
For you to question my place in the VIP
Is to question my purpose on this Earth
Let me be with my people
This is not just about social status
This is about the future of Indie

Please, please, please
Just let the VIPs 'have their day in the sun'
Getting off the internet for once
to converge and mingle
Internet bloggers off the internet
to watch the bands they blog about
in the raw.

Buzzbands getting a day to chill
and have a therapy session
about 'how insane the demands of being a buzzband are'
Talking about themes of displacement, label pressure, fan scrutiny, and 'selling out'

Music Festivals aren't just for fans
they are legitimate 'safe havens'
for some of the important members of the buzzosphere
Let us have our chill sesh
Nestled behind the tall fences of the VIP section

This is our time.
Our Time.'

C.R.H.
I am a culturally relevant human.
I earned this pass.

VIP
WHAT HAPPENS IN VIP
STAYS IN VIP
ANYTHING MOTHERFUCKING GOES
BUZZBANDS FUCKING BUZZBANDS
BUZZBANDS FIGHTING BUZZBANDS
BLOGGERS HANDJOBBING BLOGGERS
NSFW XXX CUM SHOTS EVERY 15 MINUTES

Have u ever been to a music festival?
Were u VIP? Or did u 'stand with the masses'?
When u go to a music festival and stand with thousands of people, does it make u feel 'less unique' because all of those other people like the same buzzband that u do?
Do u feel 'closer to the music' when u are granted 'elite status' at a show/festival?
Is there a 'social hierarchy' in the live concert experience, and do u ever see urself escaping from your social class?
Are buzzbands 'the most important' part of the live show, or do the promoters/venue have a higher status?

PBR & A Pile of Blow: 2 Bros Who Will Never Let Me Down

Photo by sharkvsbear


Just looking for bros who will never let me down
h8 humans, they are only looking out 4 themselves
no 1 can really be there for you all the time
I learned the hard way (my dad walked out on us)

So hard to trust
just want to escape
2 another world where there are no problems
where life is a party
and u feel like u never want to fall asleep
because something meaningful might happen
after the after party
when the sun begins to rise

I want to chill out with a PBR
a chill ass beer
cheap and tasty
like a lil cheeseburgy at McDonalds

but then I want to 'get amped up'
without the use of an energy drink
(too much sugar)
but would settle for a different white powder

a huge pile of blow
2 snort in my nose
it will travel up a pipe to my brain
and let my body know 'it is time 2 party'
and 'don't stop partying'
and 'u r the ultimate bro, living the ultimate life: a party.'

Cocaine saved / ruined my life
People told me I 'changed' and 'had problems'
and I 'only cared abt partying.'

They just didn't understand
that I had found the ultimate bros
I was in alt heaven
with a pile of blow
and a PBR

Blow will never die
PBR will never die
Bros will die
I want something that can be there for me forever.

Just wanna be 'the alt Scarface'
and live on 4ever
in the format of posters
in college dorm room
[via say hello to my lil friend, yall]

*****
Do u have bros who will never let u down?
Are humans flawed?
Do u ever feel alone, like every1 will let u down?
Do u ever feel like u can only trust brands and drugs?
Just wanna escape from the 'human condish'...

Bjork goes to see performance artist at MoMA, has telepathic conversation with her.

Some performance artist named Marina Abramović is doing some sort of &#39;art work&#39; at the Museum of Modern Art where she sits and stares at people all day. It is called The Artist is Present, and u r supposed to feel &#39;deep and emotional&#39; looking into her soul [link to website]. The photos of every1 staring at her are uploaded to some flickr site. Tons of famous people and alt-looking New Yorkers have &#39;started 2 go see this live meme&#39; going down, probably to get press/feel more famous. Bjork recently stopped by to get her stare on with this mopey old lady, and it seems like they had a meaningful telepathic conversation.
Marina Abramović: Sup sligga Bjork: Hey How r u
Marina Abramović: What r u doing 2day?
Bjork: nmh. how abt u?
Marina Abramović: just gettin my stare on.
Bjork: I really like what ur doing. u inspire me
Marina Abramović: haha ditto. sometimes I jam 2 u on my iPod when I make art
Bjork: O ya, which song do u like?
Marina Abramović: Mainly the early stuff. Ur later stuff is inaccessible
Bjork: Ya, I agree. Sorta just on cruise control now that my brand is established
Marina Abramović: Ya, I am hoping this internet meme art piece puts me over the top with mainstream blog fame
Bjork: so what do u like to do in ur spare time?
Marina Abramović: just artsy shit
Bjork: o that&#39;s kewl.
Marina Abramović: where did u grow up, anyways?
Bjork: I am from Iceland.
Marina Abramović: I have met many great people from Iceland. They have a truly creative spirit.
Bjork: I&#39;m really creative. I didn&#39;t even go to school, I was raised by a collective of animals.
Marina Abramović: Like the band?
Bjork: No, like there were some wolves, a bear, some snow foxes, and some Icelandic llamas. We&#39;d spend all day doing creative projects and writing music.
Marina Abramović: That&#39;s kewl.
Bjork: There&#39;s no such thing as &#39;cool.&#39;
Marina Abramović: Andy Warhol.
Bjork: Who is that?
Marina Abramović: He&#39;s the guy who inspired Lady Gaga
Bjork: Who is Lady Gaga?
Marina Abramović: Isn&#39;t that the singer that you are ripping off? She wears all this zany ass clothing
Bjork: There is no one else on this earth like me.
Marina Abramović: Why do u think my husband divorced me?
Bjork: I dunno. U look kinda bitchy?
Marina Abramović: What do u mean? I looked rugged and real.
Bjork: I am just not sure I&#39;d want to sit across from you for every meal.
Marina Abramović: But I look so real.
Bjork:
I mean, it would just be hard to chill with you because you look like you want to cry and poop at the same time.

Bjork

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Bjork is a crazy Icelandic lady who is an 'artist.'

Read more>>>>

Mother’s Day At Chili’s: A Play By Carles

Characters:

Mom: Mother of the family
Son: A relatively alt son, back from design school for the summer, pissed to be back in suburbia named Chaz
Daughter: Entry level alt tween named Jessica
Mike: A Chili's Waiter
Father: Abandoned his family, not included in play

[Setting: Chili's in a suburban area of America]

Son: It's really great to be back home, celebrating Mother's Day with our family. I know we've been through a lot together, but we love you mom. You've really been there for us, you've sacrificed, and simply put, we couldn't do it without you.
Daughter: Love ya Mom!
Mom: It would be nice if you stopped texting for a little bit, Jessica.
Daughter: What are we doing after dinner? Stephanie wants me to come over for the '16 and Pregnant Finale'
Son: Jess, please put the phone down and just enjoy our appetizer together.
Daughter: I don't even have a data plan, so it's not like I get what I want. I'm not spoiled.
Mom: Jessica, I told you I'd buy you data for your Droid if you got all A's, and you didn't.
Daughter: I never get what I want. I didn't even get to choose the appetizer
Son: It's Mother's Day, and mom wanted bottomless chips and salsa. We'll get South By Southwestern Eggrolls next time. Now can you just stop being a little cunt?
Daughter: I'm not a cunt. You think you're all cool because you go to art school in New York, now you're above this place.
Son: It's not art school, it is design school with a concentration in media studies and technology.
Daughter: I've seen your facebook photos, it's not like you even spend any time doing work. You just smoke and drink with your friends.
Mom: I've been paying for your college for you to be smoking and drinking, and then you post pictures of yourself doing that on the internet? I've read employers check facebook and some people don't get hired because of that website.
Son: So what? I like to have a cold brewski and unwind with my friends. What's wrong with that?
Mom: My grandfather was an alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic. Your father was an alcoholic. I don't want you going down the same road they did. Your father left our family because he chose alcohol.
Daughter: Is alcoholism genetic? I thought it was just people who liked the taste of beer.
Son: I know what I'm doing. I'm not an alcoholic. I am just a social drinker.
Mom: Well what kind of grades did you get last semester?
Son: Well, I picked up 6 hours.
Mom: How many did you take?
Son: I started with 15 hours, but had to drop 3 courses
Mom: Why did you drop three courses?
Son: I changed my major and realized that wasn't what I wanted to do, so now I'm going to need another year of college.
Mom: Oh no.
Son: What?
Mom: I'm just not sure our family has that kind of money. Jessica has her guitar lessons and is going to make varsity soccer. I just don't know any more. I just want to go home.
Daughter: Mom. It's okay. I don't want to play soccer. I want to focus on music.
Mom: Let's just go home.
Son: Why don't you want me to follow my dreams?
Mom: I feel sick. Let's just go home.
Son: You shoulda just stopped texting.

ENTER MIKE, a twenty-something Chili's Waiter

Mike: Whaddup yall. Who had the cheeseburger.
Son: That was me!
Mike: Alright. And the babyback ribs?
Mom: That's me.
Mike: Oh yeah! Babyback ribs for mom on the big day. Alright, and who had the triple dipper with SXSWestern Eggrolls, Chicken Crispers, and boneless buffalo wings?
Jessica: Yummy in my tummy wummy! That's me!
Mom: Thanks again.
Mike: No problem! That's the Chili's way.

MIKE EXITS INTO CHILI'S KITCHEN STAGE LEFT

Mom: Well. This has to be the worst mother's day ever.
Jessica: Mom. I'm sorry.
Son: I promise I won't let you down. I know we are a lower middle class family, searching for our place in America, but one day you'll see that it was all worth it. I promise I am doing something special with my life that will lead to a unique, high-paying job.
Mom: Don't you realize that I've lived my entire life for you. I'd do anything for you. I just want this family to feel close to one another again. It's so hard with you being gone, Chaz.
Son: I miss being young, sitting around with you and Jessica, watching cartoons, listening to pop music from the 80s and 90s.
Jessica: I barely remember those days. I don't remember anything about dad.
Mom: I remember sitting out back on the porch, eating popsicles, listening to pop music on the radio.
Son: I actually started listening to a new genre of music called chillwave. It is supposed to inspire nostalgic images from youth, with many similarities to 80s and 90s music.
Mom: chill what?
Son: chill wave.
Mom: Like the ocean? Waves?
Son: Yes, exactly.
Jessica: Can you put some of those songs on my iPod touch? You really have great taste in music. How do you find music?
Son: I just read a lot of blogs and use this cool tool called the Hype Machine.
Mom:  Maybe one day you will be in a band.  Remember when I got you piano lessons?

ENTER MIKE CARRYING A PITCHER OF TEA, HEADED TOWARDS ANOTHER TABLE

Mike: What's up guys? You need a refill on that Mountain Dew? You need another Mother's Day Mexican Martini?
Mom: Yes please. This Mexican Martini perfectly compliments my Babyback ribs.
Son: Hells yes. Gotta get some more Mountain Dew.
Daughter: Can I also get another Diet Sierra Mist?
Mike: No problem. Need a little bit more ranch for those boneless buff wings?
Jessica: Yes please!
Son: I also have another favor to ask of you, Mike.
Mike: Whatever you guys need!
Son: Do you know how to control the audio system in this place? I was wondering if you could plugin my iPhone to the speakers and play a song for our family.
Mike: Yeah bro. We've got an iPod dock, and that would be no problem. Which song?
Son: It's by Washed Out it's called "Feel it All Around"
Mike: Yeah no problem. Brb.

EXIT MIKE TO CHILI'S BAR AREA STAGE RIGHT

Son: Happy Mother's Day Mom. This song is for our family. Even though it is just us three, we can make it through anything, as long as we chill.

WASHED OUT'S "FEEL IT ALL AROUND" BEGINS PLAYING IN CHILI'S

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MANY CHILI'S PATRONS BEING TO CHATTER, ASKING ONE ANOTHER WHO THIS SONG IS, CLAIMING THAT IT IS CONJURING UP NOSTALGIC IMAGES OF YOUTH.

Mom: This is the best mother's day ever.
Jessica: This song is really good. I am going to add it to my facebook profile for sure.
Son: It seems like every one in this Chili's is Feeling It All Around.

ENTER MIKE. MIKE HANDS CHAZ A STACK OF PAPERS THAT LOOKS LIKE A CONTRACT

Mike: Hey Mike. We just got off the phone with the CEO of Chili's. He said that he is starting an indie record label, and would like to hire a new A & R representative to scout new talent. You clearly have impeccable, relevant taste, and we would love to have you be the top dog at Chili's Records.
Son: This is the job I have always wanted. I have always wanted to work for a mainstream company, doing my best to help alternative artists and musicians bring their product to mass markets. Doing my best to help the best art reach the masses, and artists getting paid for their efforts. In fact, the person who put Feist in the iPod nano commercial recently spoke at my university. I want to be a part of pop art.
Mike: Here at Chili's, we don't sign contracts with pens. We actually have you fingerprint the contract with ranch dipping sauce.

CHAZ DIPS FINGERS INTO RANCH AND LOOKS TO HIS MOM

Son: Mom, this is for you. Happy Mother's Day.
Mom: You kids are sometimes a handful, but know that I love you. Know that I believe
Mike: Who wants dessert?
Every1 at Chili's: Me!

SON STEPS CENTER STAGE, DELIVERS AN ASIDE/MONOLOGUE

Son: So that's my family. No, we're not perfect, but what family is? I certainly don't want to be a part of that family. A lot of people thought I was wasting tons of money on my education, but they didn't realize that it would all pay off. Who woulda thought, I owed it all to my dedication to the mp3 blogosphere. Sure you can call me

But today's about my mom. A beautiful woman, better than any female I could ever date, or marry. Maybe I'm a bit spoiled, maybe I'm self-centered and out of touch with the real world, but that's because my mom thought I deserved to exist in a world where I could do anything I put my mind to.

Thanks Mom. This one's for you. The truth is, I've felt your love all around my entire life, and I could never buy enough platters of babyback ribs to tell you how much you mean to me. Every time I hear a buzzband, I think of you, because ever since the day I was born, you treated me like a buzzband that you believed in, and never gave up on, even when I went mainstream, even when I metaphorically released aimless, subpar albums. You never gave up on me, and because of that, I will always love you.

END


Where did U + ur Family go for Mother's Day?
Do you <3 ur mom?
Is ur family kinda messed up, but do yall still love eachother?
Is Mother's Day a better holiday than Father's Day?

Have you ever been in a place where every1 was feeling it all around?

Is building a Piñata the ultimate tribute to culturally relevant humans?

Going to build
a series of piñatas
to honor my favourite alternative celebrities
who have changed my life
who have chanced society
who have changed culture
who have pushed 'art' 2 the next level
transcending society
& shitting on what we once thought was 'authentic art'

Warhol pinata photos by brooklyn museum


why the eff would I build a statue?
they are so finite
they are supposed to last forever
but they won't
one day humans will be gone
and statues will melt away when magma surges from the earth [via iceland] [post-via volcanoes]
Earthquakes will tear shit up in 2012
and castles/buildings will be 'made of sand'
become part of the earth again

the pinata
is so self aware
it knows that it can't last 4ever
it would be impossible to last forever
the pinata exists
to be destroyed
the pinata takes a beating
so u can enjoy it
kinda like the circle of life
u live just 2 die
u succeed just 2 fall.
u get in a relationship just 2 breakup
u listen to a buzzband just 2 resent them in 2-6 months

the creative process is so different
because i am creating something
that I know won't last forever

The best statues are kinda like pinatas
these monuments fall when regimes fall
kinda like the time me and my Iraqi bros got buzzed and tore down
Saddam Hussein statues all around our city.

Even our american soldier bros got involved,
made sure we could do it

I created a pinata
2 be destroyed
2 create a spirit of destruction
in celebration

Pinatas are the ultimate form of tribute in the modern world.

Are pinatas the master art?

Is Andy Warhol's legacy ruined because he 'inspired Lady Gaga'?
Who r u gonna build a pinata 4?
Are you going to build Animal Collective pinatas?
What would u fill up your authentic pinata with? Sparks? Cocaine? Condoms? Dum Dum lollipops? Chili's gift cards?
Are Mexicans 'in touch' with how 2 party / celebrate?
Will pinatas replace blogs/twitters/facebooks as the ultimate form of social media in 2k14?

Have yall ever been super drunk, & forced yourself to throw up?

Photo by thefuturists.ca


Sometimes I have crazy nites and I drink a lil bit too much.
Putting so much alcohol in my body to run away from the pain
the pain of my childhood, my parents' divorce
Feeling 'left out', unloved, and misunderstood for so much of my life
until I finally reached a place filled with alternative young people
who have the same interests + goals as me

Some nights, I just drink and drink and drink and drink
like the more I drink, the more fun I will have
the more I drink, the more people will like me
the more I drink, the more authentic my life will become

But then it all backfires
and my tummie starts to feel sillie
I start thinking about what I ate today
'U only had Chili's, but that was 12 hours ago.'

Was my body really ready to handle a chugalug of beer / liquor / wine /absynthe / etc
Is my stomach in panic mode?
Did I push too hard to make this night meaningful?
Will I regret this in the morning if I don't force my body to eject the excess alcohol and sugar?

Excuse myself from my friends & the party hosts
Stepping outside into a desolate alley
putting my finger down my throat
hoping a thick stream of alcohol / vomit will flow from my mouth.

Dry heave
Tears running down my face, eyes popping out of sockets
I can feel a warm stew of vomit coming down my food pipe
I made a mistake.

'thar she blows' I think as the vomit shoots from my mouth
Try my best to clear out my stomach
the more I eject, the better I will feel?

I vomited
all over my shoes
hunched over like a pathentic loser
while inside, the relevant party / concert / art opening / show continues
but I was just 1 bro
who drank 2 much 2 fast
didn't eat enough

Don't really feel as good as I thought I would
even though I threw up
and totally ruined my shoes

(gonna be a bitch to clean them tomorrow)
Does n e 1 know how I can get vomit off my shoes?

Maybe I am just another 'drunk girl' [via LCD Soundsystem]
Maybe alcohol is bad 4 u
Maybe I should only eat organic products
Maybe I need 2 be more careful

Trying to live life 2 the fullest
Trying 2 drink enough 2 forget
'I made a lot of mistakes' -Sufjan Stevens

Have u ever forced yourself to throw up when you got too drunk?
What is the zaniest food / beverage that you have thrown up?
What is the most authentic venue to throw up at?
Have you ever thrown up on a buzzband during a concert?
Do u have any tips for holding down ur alcohol?

The Wizard of Buzz

I attend a relevant music festival to see my favourite buzzband
Standing in the crowd with so many faces
Facing the stage, admiring the band, seeing massive props on the stage
My mental image of a band manifesting itself in front of me
The very first physical experience with the band
as opposed to just a digital experience as I became familiar with the band
feels like a mix of a personal, artistic, + consumer experience

One large X behind the band, symbolizing the brand of the band
unifying the digital brand with the physical brand

Photo by last night's party


Enjoying the show, re-interpreting my perception of the band
Either growing closer 2 the band
or feeling distant from the digital image of the band

I step behind the stage
behind the curtain
of the Wizard of Oz
The Wizard of a Buzz Band

I have 'uncovered the Wizard of Buzz'
The X which was once so absolute and intimidating
is actually just a plywood structure
possibly built in the garage of a local artist who bought the supplies at Home Depot

Behind every great idea is something simple
at the core of every human is a sad, scared individual
behind every brand is a simple idea
Everything feels so fragile

Should we keep the curtain up
not knowing what is behind
so the image stays carefully constructed
or do we pull aside the curtain
exposing the truth
attempting to get vulnerable
get real
get raw

Behind every buzzband are a group of humans
searching 4 the same thing that u r
Maybe at the core of every human is a chill bro
waiting to bro down with a group of authentic bros

Letting go of my digital image of a band
No longer thinking they are 'cool' because they live life on the road, making music
but instead feeling more vulnerable
Like fragile humans playing music for fragile humans in the audience
Scared, seeking acceptance
Seeking a connection with humanity

The Wizard of Buzz
those who construct the image of a band
PR Companies, Managers, Record Labels, Marketing Firms
Trying 2 see thru the buzz
2 find something 'more'--a better reason 4 connecting with a band

Plywood megastructures
Will one day
Be used as firewood

MP3s
will one day
get lost forever when ur hard drive crashes

Buzzbands
will one day
go back to being 'regular people'
(unless they are Coldplay/U2/Radiohead/etc.)

Follow the Buzzy Brick Road. Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.
Follow the Buzzy Brick, Follow the Buzzy Brick,
Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.

We're off to see the BuzzBro, The Wonderful Buzzbro of Buzz.
You'll find he is a Buzz of a Bro! If ever a Bro! there was.
If ever oh ever a Bro! there was The Wizard of Buzz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because.
Because of the wonderful buzz he buzzes.
We're off to see the BuzzBro. The Wonderful Buzzbro of Buzz

The xx

Buzzband

The xx is a band from the UK that went kinda mainstream in 2k9

Read more>>>>

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

Every Day is An Alternative Carnival

Photos via Village Voice by Nate Igor Smith


Hello. Welcome to the Alt Carnival. Such a crazy world. So many different rewards, treats, and distractions. N e thing can happen n e given day in the altosphere. A new mp3 by a buzzband. A new viral video by a former buzzband. New drama between blogs and/or bands. Tons of people tweeting. In the above picture, you can see an alt guy chilling with a metaphorical post-Where the Wild Things Are electro creature.

An alt circus.
a 'goddamn shit show.'

Would u like 2 go on a carnival ride with me? (This is a metaphor 4 how crazy life is)

Round & Round we go
disoriented by the fast pace
everything happens in cycles
recycled trends, sounds, aesthetic, humans, air

Just want to get into
relevant shows
relevant festivals
social circles of relevant friends

Sometimes u need to sit back and enjoy the ride, other times u need to let people know u r on the ride by twittering live from your smart phone.

Just want to bond with some1 in this alt carnival. Really bond with some1. Feel not alone in this 'mess', experience a moment of clarity.

Alts spinning. Sharing the same experience. Together, Apart, in the air, everywhere. This alt carnival is taking its toll on me. Just going to chill with my bros, let the 'ride' take us wherever it leads us.

let go of all control
no longer in control
buzzbands manufactured
2 break thru
the mess

eff the media
shaping trends
riding memes
Trying to take shelter in Levi's Fader Forts
but surrounded by 'consumer bullshit' /// noise

Don't know where I'm going. Where I'm headed to. Which direction leads where. Standing in a conceptual forest, alone. Directionless. Need some1 to tell me 'what's cool' so I can make sense of everything.

So many mp3s
so many blog title headlines
content creators every where
tweeple tweeting twitter messages @ u
so hard 2 know
what is happening
in this metaphorical alt carnival

Sorta just wish
I could stop this carnival ride
and take time
to enjoy my corn dog.

See u around

<3 the carnival bro

Is every day an alternative carnival?
Are parking lot carnivals safe?

"Going Home for Thanksgiving." -A Reflection by Carles


Holiday traveler
I am one of you
I am one of many
I am the only 'me' in the world

Going home to see mom, dad, sister, brother
Reuniting around a turducken
Not sure how to tell my mom that I don't eat meat
and that she will have to make me a tofurkey

Feeling anxious
about my extended family
'commenting' on my new personal brand
that that won't understand

I have changed so much since school started
New personal Brand
Finding out about new bands
Genuinely connecting with fascinating humans
Who want the same life that I do.

I have learned what life is all about
I have learned why I needed 2 leave this house
and see the world
and l-i-v-e in the c-i-t-y
I just want to live inside of a living mishmash of humans/architecture/public transportation.

But now I am going home
Afraid to see my family now that it is 100% impossible for them to 'get' me
But maybe I need to 'get' them
to understand what I don't want to be
To motivate me to pursue a meaningful alternative life
with no fears

I am older now
A self-sustaining human being
Honestly have broken free from the constraints of my childhood
and the metaphorical shackles of suburbia

But now I am ready to go back
and reunite with some old classmates at a bar/restaurant
and make it clear that I am on a level
that they will never even understand
Momentarily I will get 'caught up' in the moment
and start to reconnect with zany high school stories
but then will remember
'That's not who I am any more. That bro is dead.'

'I don't want. Your life.'
-James VanderBeek in Varsity Blues about how he is the local community's only alt searching 4 meaning

This bro is me
This bro is thankful
This bro is coming home.
(big headphones blasting indie music)

///blogging from the airplane yall////gotta love internet in the air///worried the guy next to me is watching me watch porn/////

We were alts. We were dreamers.

Photo via Lastnitesparty


A group of alts
in the middle of the street
looking up at the stars
dreaming big dreams

One boy dreams of starting a buzzband which garners critical acclaim from multiple blogsites.
One girl dreams of becoming an alt model
One boy dreams of starting a t-shirt line
One girl dreams of 'becoming the next Karen O/M.I.A.'
One alt dreams of opening up the best alternative nightclub in town
One alt dreams of starting the blogosphere's next great influential website, making millions of AmAppy dollars from banner ads
One alt dreams of starting a zany twitter/tumblr meme blog and getting a book deal
One alt dreams of living in the wilderness for 2 years and constructing an EP from field-recordings of flora and/or fauna.
One alt dreams of
One alt dreams of interning for Marc Jacobs (would settle for a Project Runway contestant).
One alt dreams of working at an alternative PR + marketing firm, and helping to 'create' the next great indie band.
One alt dreams of designing the 'next twitter/facebook/friendster/iphone app.'
One alt dreams of becoming a photographer who shoots progressive borderline pornography/barely-legals.
One alt dreams of becoming the 'next Miranda July'/relevant performance artist.
One alt dreams of 'reviving electro' as the world's next great DJ.
One alt dreams of giving up his life in the next Electro/Conceptro War.
One alt dreams of becoming an alternative celebrity for 'doing nothing.'
One alt dreams of putting together 'the next great music festival.'

so many boys
so many girls
so many alts
so many dreams.

We moved to this city
to 'run this town'
and I gotta feeling
(that 2nites gonna be a good nite)
and also
that if we keep networking
having fun
meeting fascinating human beings with similar interests
being inspired by life
good things will come our way.

Dream big.
Dream alt.
Dream dreams.

We///were///alts.

/////////////


What is ur biggest alternative dream?

I am the littlest alt.

Photo via lookbook


I am the lil alt. The mini alt. The lil-est alt.
Learned how to be alt at a young age
with the help of my older sister
I am young, with my entire life ahead of me
many years to evolve into the perfect personal brand
but today I am young
I am alt
I am small
but my heart is strong
I am sure of myself

The kids at school do not 'get' me
But I have learned that is a good thing
I am oblivious to the tween sensations that mnstrm kidz are in2
(had to google 'Kanyegate')
I am literally the youngest person in the world to genuinely appreciate The Dirty Projectors

I will start a mp3 blog 4 kids by kids
carrying the alternative torch to make the kids scene
a lot better 4 every1
There's just so much more to the world than Disney bullshit

I am proud.

One day I will be an old man
on my death bed
looking back on the life that I had
so many missed connections and casual encounters
I will look back on my youth
and smile

A large grin for my alternative innerchild.
I am the lil alt
The embodiment of the alternative spirit.

(miss u. say hi 2 Heath 4 me in meme heaven)

U cannot put out
the flame
of the alternative fire
in a tru alt.

So much alt in such a lil alt.


///learning how 2 blog again....
-crls

2 Bros On Top of the World.

Photo by every1isfamous


I turned to my bro, and said 'We did it. We finally made it.' We raised up our plastic cups full of free Bud Light, smiled, and made a toast.

To the city.
To the music.
To art.
To beauty.
To friends.
To the scene.
To technology.
To blogsites.
To our one and future bros.

These are the elements of life which unite us.

We looked up at the cityscape, and it felt like we had finally made something of ourselves'. No, we hadn't become rich, nor had we become culturally relevant--but not very many people in life achieve that level of success. We are successful, because we have accepted what we are, and we have learned to create our own version of happiness.

This was our weekend. For one weekend, I was with my bro. No girlfriends, wives', finances. I was with my bro--my bro who truly understood me because he basically had the same life as me. Still looking up at the cityscape. Still thinking 'we finally made it.' Feeling like I have grown up, and made a life for myself. Will watch a sunset later and allow myself to find it to be meaningful and inspiring.

So many people come in and out of our lives'. So many people attending a meaningful alt event. But I am 100% sure that no one else has the solid bond that my bro and I share.

This weekend, I will spend time with my bro. I will not resent him. I will cherish him. One day I will die, and there will be no heaven. But more importantly, there will be no bros.

"The Dream Catcher" by Carles

Photo via lookbook


We went on a family vacay when I was 10
to chill in the Grand Canyon and New Mexico
We stopped at a gift shop on an 'Injun' Reservation
and my parents encouraged me to buy 'a bag of kewl looking rocks'
and a gadget called 'a dream catcher.'

I asked the old Indian man behind the counter
'What does this gizmo do?'
He said, 'Hang this above your bed.
It shall capture all of the bad dreams + nightmares
and only let the chill-ass dreams in2 ur head
while u sleep."

I thought this was 'fucking stupid'
but my parents bought it anyways so that I would
have something to always remember our vacation.

I didn't touch the dreamcatcher for years, but then
when I was going through a zany fashion era,
I decided 2 use it as a necklace
but part of me really started to believe that
this Indian gadget was really working.

My dreams were coming true
Was about to start school at a relevant design program in the city
Attending tons of cool shows
Hooking up with hi level members of the local scene
Reading tons of cool blogs every day
Finally feeling like my wardrobe was 'complete'
Music was 'free' on the internet [via google search]
Everything just felt 'right.'

If I just wore this dreamcatcher for the rest of my life,
none of my nightmares would manifest themselves.
I wouldn't end up a mainstreamer in a desk job
I wouldn't have a husband+kids who I resent
I wouldn't gain weight + look old.
I would never die

The dreamcatcher had become a part of me
It protected me
It was more than just a zany accessory
It gave me hope, and it made me believe I could do anything.
The dreamcatcher kept me safe.

Don't be afraid to dream.
There's nothing wrong with 'being a dreamer.'

Do u have a dreamcatcher necklace?

Sometimes I just want to float away...

Photo via lookbook


I remember in the popular movie Forrest Gump,
Tom Hanks and Jenny say 'make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away'
as Jenny tries to escape from her father's physical and sexual abuse
Eventually she 'becomes a slut' when she grows up
and in a way she sort of became a bird
and flew far, far away from 'innocence' [via dying of AIDS]

Sometimes I feel like there's just 2 much happening in this world
Like I am overwhelmed by every little thing
piling on top of itself
So much stress, so much 2 worry abt

Just want to be a lite lil alt
and float away while holding some balloons
and have the balloons represent some sort of 'guiding force'
or maybe something that helps me 2 'escape'
sort of like drugs
or possibly a scholarship to a regional Art Institute

I remember Modest Mouse wrote a song
that promise us that we'll 'all float on'
and it was the most meaningful indie song of the year
inspiring mainstreamers every where 2 'chill'

Sort of just want to float on...
want to float away from suburbia
and land in an urban environment
want to float away from my parents
and land in an apartment that is $1500/month
want to float away from my job at a local ice cream parlor
and start a career where I have opinions on cool/modern/relevant shit

I know that I can escape from the status quo of my life
but I do not want 2 work hard 2 get there
Even though I feel like I am entitled to a better life
I wish it would just fall in my lap

Wish life could be easier
Wish life could be chiller
Wish my life could be everything that I think I deserve
Make me a lil entry-level alt girl
so I can fly
far, far away.

All we are
are alts in the wind...

Always just trying 2 b authentic.

Photo via lookbook


I am just trying to create an authentic life for myself.
I am just trying to fill up my apartment with meaningful items.
I am just trying to create authentic art.
I am just collecting some cameras from different eras.
I am just enjoying a beer, relaxing.
I am just collecting old magazines with pictures of nature/old stuff
I am just mashing up genres of music.
I am just sitting on my authentic couch.
I am just going buy some used books later that look 'old' and 'historically relevant'.
I am just going to buy some humble shoes.

I am just 1 bro
I am just 1 bro searching for meaning
I am just 1 bro searching for meaning in our modern world.
I am just 1 bro creating art in my meaningful space
looking to transcend
evrythng

Previous meaningful/authentic apartments
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/my-authentic-life-is-full-of-authentic-props-in-my-authentic-apartment.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/the-meaningful-objects-in-my-apartment-make-me-who-i-am.html

Have yall bought anything new for your apartment lately?
Have yall created any new/relevant music lately using nontraditional/lofi/D.I.Y. recording methods?

Feeling trapped & meaningless. Sad abt suburban development.

photo via lookbook


We went 4 a walk
running away from my parents' house
went to a manmade lake/drainage solution
that was constructed in the middle of the neighborhood.

We stripped nude
and took a bath within nature
putting on an Animal Collective album
using my portable iPod dock

The police were called
arresting us
police brutality

I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

Fuck. So miserable.
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.


h8 my local high school
h8 all the ppl who value 'fitting in'
and don't 'get' what life is all about
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

Shit. Not even sure if I will ever break free
or if I will end up back in suburbia
since it is a cost-effective place to raise a child.
Shit. FUCK. help me, gawdbro.
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

So many houses
all looking the same
feel even sadder about poorer people who live in apartments
relieved that I have a spacious house
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

I wear Am Appy
and no 1 'gets' me
except for gothbros
who wear 'black AmAppy hoodies' without realizing what the brand 'means.'
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

I want 2
set this place on fire
I want 2
b me
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
I feel so fucking trapped
Fucking trapped in suburbia.

fuck. help me. plz. help me.
sprawl. opening up new Home Depot by where I live
since there are so many new neighborhoods [via contractors]
feeling sad about trees being cut down and shit like that
Wonder how I would feel if the built suburbia to look 'more like the city.'
Going to walk more and ride my bike.
help

FUCK SUBURBIA -- I HAVE BROKEN FREE

PHOTO VIA LOOKBOOK


h8 being trapped.
h8 everything about suburbia
h8 my parents
h8 the red bricks on my house
& every other house in my neighborhood.

Today I watched an MGMT music video
and listened to Animal Collective
and also listend 2 Passhy Pit
then cut up my favourite Am Appy shirt
and put some paint on my face

Went outside
all of my neighbors looked at me like I was from another planet
even though they usually give me that look
it made me happie
that I was challenging social norms
and saying 'eff yall' 2 them.

I was the most free spirited person
within a 100 mile radius
My mom and dad looked out the window
and looked disappointed

If only they knew
what I wanted 2 do
and the ideas inside of me
which can be converted to art
and be sold 4 a great deal of money

If only they knew
that I am not going to work for an insurance company
in a business park
in a yucky part of town in some cheesy city.

I am trapped in suburbia
1 day
I will get out of this hell hole.
1 day...

I am the next Marc Jacobs/ Jermbro Scott / winner from Projjers Runway.
What's ur anti-suburbia [via anti-drug]?

Previous feelings of being trapped in suburbia
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/trapped-in-suburbia-bro

I am an Uncertain Bro.

Styleshark


All my life, I've been told what not 2 do.

No smoking.

No ghosts.

No running.

No fun.

No kidz allowed.

These days, I don't even know who I am any more. I've been told what not 2 do, but I don't actually know know TO DO. I don't know how 2 create my own happiness. I know that America is the only country with 'free will', but I just have 2 many decisions 2 make about my future.

I want 2 be happie, but I don't even know how 2 do that. I want 2 be in a meaningful relationship, but I also want 2 cum with as many ppl as possible 2 feel attractive. I want 2 be intelligent, but I also want to know a lot about 'dumb shit.' I want 2 be in a meaningful city, but I don't know which 1. I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want 2 party, but I want to do something that changes the way that millions of ppl think/makes their lives' better. I want to cure the swine flu. I want to invent something. I want to be an architect and designer. I want to play in the NBA Finals. I want to be the first African American President of the United States of America.

I want to do so much.
But I am an uncertain bro.
I don't know what I stand for.
I don't know what I stand against.

I am an Uncertain Bro.
Not sure what I am doing with my life.
Sorta wish I lived in Utopia
and had subconsciously Christian values

</embed>

What do u want 2 do?

"I guess this is growing up." - Blink 182 / TRV$ DJAM

Searching 4 the most authentic photograph in the world.

Photo via Gizmodo


Sometimes I see stuff
that I think looks meaningful
and wish I could take a picture of it
capturing the moment/meme forever

Every day I see thousands of images
and some of them are 'meaningful'
or 'get my attention'
and other ones are 'meaningless'
and somewhat 'forgettable.'

Sometimes I wonder
what is the most authentic photograph in the history of the entire world?

Is it a photo of a human?
Maybe a bro like Jesus
Abe Lincoln / Obama
OJ Simpson / Jimi Hendrix
Harvey Milk / Sean Penn as Harvey Milk
some anonymous bro
like a soldier or victim of war or something.
Maybe an animal
or some ppl 'mating' [via porn]

Is it a photo of an event
like a plane crashing into a building
or some sort of festival in a 3rd world country
or like some zany event like 'the running of the bulls'

Or is it a picture of something that most people will never see
like some sort of entity that exists 'in space'
or 'a lunar/solar eclipse'
or a 'screen capture of something funnie.'

Or is it a party pic?
Like some bro with a ginger peen
Or some 'skank in a bathroom'
Or an entry level alt
or a super sweet 15 party 4 alts

Should we stop appreciating photos
and start to embrace 'video'
Worried that I am missing out on 'what makes a picture beautiful'
Might buy a huge DSLR or something
so that I can take HI RESOLUTION N00DZ
And license them to Am Appy 4 advertising

What is the most beautiful picture in the history of the world, yall?

Should I stop worrying about my self-concept + body image?

</embed>

Sometimes I wonder if I 'worry 2 much'
about 'shit that doesn't matter'
like 'the way I look'
and 'how other ppl perceive me.'

Kinda just want to listen 2 Daft Punk
and 'gain a shit load of weight'
by eating 'bad ass foods' that
'taste awesome' but are 'probably killing me.'

I wish that there was some sort of 'plus size' solution
to look fashionable
and 'seem hip' and 'in the know'
But I think that part of 'being fit'
means that 'u care about being alive.'
wonder if Am Appy will come out with a 'plus size' line in 2k34
when their core market 'gets all old and fat'

Just want to 'be myself'
and like 'chill' and 'go to Chili's' and 'eat McDonalds breakfast'
and 'go out to binge eat Mexican food'
and 'eat lasagna' like the popular cat Garfield

but 'who will love me' for 'who I am'
It would take a strong person
to want to 'cum on'/'cum with'
some1 who is 'larger than life.'

Worried that my heart will stop
or something like that

R u happie with the way u look?
do u end up looking in the mirror for extended periods of time
thinking about the person u will be after u 'get in shape'?
Did u 'lose a lot of weight'/'gain a lot of weight' recently? Why?

Hope u r okay.
want u 2 b happie with who u r
Best,
Carles

My Dad is all sad about getting older

Photo by the Sartorialist


I walked in on my dad looking at himself in the mirror
naked
He did not know I was watching him
He looked analytical, somber, reflective, and sad

Lately, my father has been losing hair
gaining weight
getting older
Making more choices to make himself seem 'more youthful'
but ultimately acting 'dumb' and 'self-destructive'

He cheated on my mom
It makes her sad
but I think he is insecure
Overheard him yell, "SHE MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG AGAIN."
He also keeps asking me 'what bands do u listen to?'
and bought tickets to a Kings of Leon concert

I think they just need 2 talk about getting older
and embrace that life ends
and that u need 2 surround urself with 'people u authentically <3'
Not sure if it healthy to 'feel sad' about getting older

Maybe there is just a time in ur life
where u need to 'sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and stop sulking'
realizing that the 'best' days of ur life r behind u
and in the future u will only become more physically incompetent
and unable to keep up with the pace at which society/technology changes

It makes me sad that we're all getting older
I just want to feel and look the same
as I did during 'my prime'
Worried that my 'prime' has passed
or maybe I am not 'happy' during 'my prime'

Want 2 be a tween again
'but wouldn't give up the knowledge I have now'
If only our parents knew
how easy their lives' were
since they didn't have to deal with stressful modern issues
like 'sexting' and 'sexually transmitted diseases' and 'information overload' and 'memes'

Just want 2 b happie?

They only want u when ur seventween
when ur 21
ur all old and ur sexual organs are probs contaminated

////////////////////
do u feel urself 'getting older'?
R ur parents going through 'a mid life crisis'?
R u afraid 2 get old cuz it means ur closer 2 dying?
Do u want to die of 'old age', 'a disease' or 'a tragic accident that is a bloggable meme.'

everything has a natural life


i see newspapers and magazines
shut down/go bankrupt
and I wonder when blogs will die

when will HRO end?
should HRO have ended _ years ago?
When will all of the memes in the world be blogged?
What happens when the river of meme runs dry?
What happens when bloggers decided 2 unplug from the internet?
what happens if ur favourite blogger gets in a car crash 1 day, and u never hear from him/her again?

Everything dies--even humans
Every thing has a natural life.

Trends/fads/websites that are 'kewl' and 'authentic' can't always stay what u think they are
u grow up. u turn into a different person who values different stuff
something that meant something 2 u at age 13 won't mean as much 2 u at age 29, unless it is 'Coca Cola' or something like that

1 day, no1 will read pitchfork
1 day, no1 will read newspapers
1 day, no1 will eat red meat
1 day, no1 will be the same as they were 2day
1 day, Am Appy will be the official uniform provider of the NFL/poor people
1 day, ur parents will die, and u'll feel 'authentic sadness' 4 the first time ever
1 day, HRO will not exist
u will still be alive. u will only read memes that are 140 characters or less
u will not feel a need 2 'get all social' on the internet

Afraid of the world ending

Afraid. Afraid of losing everything.
Afraid of my site 'dying.'
Afraid of losing sight of 'what's important in life.'
Scared of who I am finding out I am
Is the internet 'my prison.'
Not sure if I have a healthy sense of self [via the internet]

1 day, we will go outside, and hold hands with our neighbors
and say 'we finally did it,
we finally left Iraq
and got national health insurance
and fixed our educational system
and stopped honoring borders and turned the earth in2 1 chill-ass megacountry.'

Feel sad
when magazines died they got to 'turn into websites'
but not even sure what 'dying websites'
can turn into as a gimmick

We will be happy
'Snark' will be dead
Blogs will be dead
Advertisers will find a new medium to 'overpay' for advertising
No1 will have a computer larger than an iPhone
Twitter will have failed/been hacked and all personal memes will be erased

Good nite Moon
We had a good run.
'The End.' -a book

Best of luck,
Carles

We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should

-the fatboy slims, 2012 as the world ends

</embed>

An intense feeling of 'being trapped in suburbia' overwhelms me when I have to 'run errands.'

Photo by lookbook


It makes me sad
That all humans in the developed world
must go to the grocery store / an 'everything store'
in order to stay alive

Wish things were more natural
and we had to hunt and gather
instead of 'gathering money' [via job]
and then 'bargain hunting' [via coupons/manufacturer's discount]
and stuff like that which makes u realize
just how 'middle-class' ur parents are

I go out to Target / Wal Mart
Trader Joe's / Whole Foods /
Local low-end grocery store
and I buy 'groceries'
Makes me feel less unique
because I see every one there
rich or poor

But the poor usually buy stuff that's 'bad 4 u'
and I am fortunate enough to buy
stuff that's 'better 4 u'

Feel like a 'fish out of water'
when running the errands that are necessary 2 staying alive
because I have built my personal brand around
'seeming like I have nothing 2 do with ppl
who have 2 perform trivial tasks 2 stay alive'

I want to be some1 who seems 'young'
and 'out of touch' with 'real life' and 'real errands.'
and the modern 'struggle' 2 stay alive and build a 'happy family'

h8 'shopping' for stuff that 'isn't cool'
would rather go 2 the mall / online shopping
prefer 2 buy stuff that u have 2 buy with a credit card
instead of stuff that 'fits in2 ur budget.'

Going away to college.

Photo via Lookbook


Going away 2 college.
s0 f*ckng scared.
I have become a pretty popular and respected bro
at my high school

But I will throw all of that away
and go to college at a prestigious university
located within an authentic city
not just the state school within 100 miles of my home town.

My mom will go college dorm room shopping
with me
at IKEA, the Container Store, and Target
and we will get into fights about our vision of the room
(Don't want it 2 look 'too dormy'
Want it 2 be an authentic space.'

I hope my dorm room is the popular room on my floor
and that my roommate evolves into the best bro of my life.
We will join relevant on-campus groups
and also integrate into our local community
really 'caring' about the issues within our collegetown/region
more than we care about global issues

Maybe we will organize protests against our university
and chill inside of the cafeteria
liveblogging and twittering the whole experience
until the mainstream police barges in with guns

Photo via NYU Local


Might even volunteer to wake up early
and paint some stuff
or build some houses
then 'party' with the people who I bonded with
as the sun hits our white skin

I will become a new person
in college
in my dorm room
lurking facebook for girls from my classes who
I can pin my hopes and dreams to

One day I will move off campus
and live in a chill ass apartment
that smells like marijuana and body odor
that has a mix of 'chill' and 'bad ass' parties
becoming a relevant location in the local scene
It has a 'bad ass' flat screen that my roommates' parents gave us.

Dirty bathrooms

Sometimes I will study
staying up all night
To do 'okay' on a test
and pass all of my classes
Proud of my 2.7-3.75 GPA because 'I put like nooo effort into it.'

We will 'party.'
We will be college students.
We will have fun.
We will find bros.
We will eat all of our meals on campus with
a relevant meal plan program

I will stay in college for _ years.

___________________
Do yall want 2 go 2 college?
Where do yall wanna go?
What do yall wanna learn?
R u in college?
What is/was ur fave part about being in college?

SXSW: Authentic in 2k10?


When do events go from 'being authentic' to 'being totes fake and filled with mainstreamers'?
I just want to know what 'the tipping point' is
and what causes it
so that I could prevent it from happening

SXSW is funnie
because everything is a 'planned surprise'
and everything is 'free' but 'not really'
and everything is 'exciting' but 'predictable'
and everything is 'viral buzz' but rlly just 'marketing'

Festivals and conferences start out 'being authentic incubators of cool culture'
but then the mainstreamers think they can participate
immersing themselves in 'cutting edge cultural events'
slowly causing the fabric of what made something great
2 unravel

Woodstock 99
SXSW 2010
Pitchfork Festival 2015
Lollapalooza 200_
Coachella 200_
Austin City Limits 2005

They say that once a Wireless Telecommunications Provider
is a prominent sponsor of your entity
then u have 'made it'
but u will soon lose what once made u so great.

Everything has a 'useful life'
Kinda sad abt that

SXSW

Alternative Event, Company

SXSW (South By Southwest) is a relevant music, technology and film conference/festival that takes place in Austin, TX.

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