Do u think it would be sweet to play a video game with these scenarios?

• driving a UHAUL with a bomb up to a federal building and ‘blowing that shit up’
• going on a serial killer type of spree where u rape/murder/bury bodies beneath ur house
• flying planes into buildings
• backpack bombing public areas
• shooting up a school and having 2 kill over 50% of the students
• trying to ignite a bomb on a commercial airliner

I wonder if video games are ‘better than ever.’ Maybe this is the type of stuff that all humans want 2 do, but now we finally have a realm where it is safe 2 do it.

Maybe all humans want the same things.  Maybe we just want 2 cum at all costs.

Just want a room full of vaginas to make love to.

Need a way to take out my tween angst.

So many different video games. Wonder which 1 I would be if I ‘loved video games.’ Feel like I might either be a tween who plays a Nintendo DS, and has digital friends/pets/possessions in a simulated world, or maybe just an old person who plays Wii to battle Alzheimer’s/depression/arthritis/diabetes.

Wish more video games brought humans 2gether, instead of promoting the killage of humans.

Want to connect with my local retirement community scene, coming together, celebrating our last years on Earth.

Feeling confused. At the beginning of this post, I thought video games were terrible for humanity, but then by the end of my internet research, I determined that there are positive uses for video game simulated technology. I feel like we need to promote human connections, but it would also be acceptable to round up the major threats to society, and allow them to get most of their life experiences in a simulated version of a violent reality.

It seems like if we programmed some sort of violent video game that took 40-100 years to beat, we could really save a lot of communities/international relations. Just want 2 live forever, and eliminate violence.

Not sure abt video games.
Do yall know of any video games that are safe/violent?
Are video games a ‘waste of time’?
Do u know if we could build some sort of system where we plug human brains into a hyper-reality, but actually use their body heat to create the energy that powers the computers that run our society?
Are video games ‘the master art’ since they combine all elements of modern art?

Previous Video Game Coverage
Game Boy Necklace Blipster….
Beatles Rock Band = ghey
Landing in the Hudson River video game

I have always heard that Portland is the perfect alternative city . It’s not like Brooklyn cuz u don’t have too many inauthentic transplants moving there and accidentally ‘corrupting the scene’ since they are ‘alternative immigrants’ who need 5-10 years to learn ‘the way of life.’ It seems like a place where they actually honor alternative ideals, such as ‘going green’, ‘being vegan’, and chilling in the wilderness/public space. They have some sort of ‘thriving music scene’… There must ‘be something in the water’ or something that has made it an alternative utopia. I imagine that if u walk down the streets in Portland, u will see dozens of conceptual pop bands performing for the sake of music–not to make money.

I was startled when I saw this t-shirt that said Portland FUCKING Oregon. It made me think that my assumptions about Portland’s brand were entirely wrong. Maybe they are undergoing some sort of ‘massive population shift’, or perhaps the city has been corrupted with transplants. The shirt seems ‘in ur face’, as if the city of Portland is a hardXcore band, or possibly a crabcore band. It seems like Portland’s authenticity might be ‘going up in flames.’

I feel scared about this shirt, sort of like how the ‘Keep Austin Weird’ shirt sold the Austin TX ‘free-spirited’ brand to mainstreamers, eventually leading to tons of corporate development, making the city 60-90% less authentic.

I might move somewhere, and create a “Keep (location) alt” t-shirt. It will probably have to be somewhere in ‘the middle of nowhere.’

I just need to find a place to live that is ‘perfect 4 me.’ Tons of kewl bands passing through, a thriving alternative scene/economy, and possibly some sort of organic foods market. Hope I live in a community that has banned walmarts. Hope that I live in a place that is good for ’singles.’ Hope I find a place where the real me can be set free.

Worried about Portland FUCKING Oregon.
Does n e 1 from Portland FUCKIGN Oregon know if Portland FUCKING Oregon is in trouble?

Does ur community/scene have an ‘official shirt’?
Do authentic ppl wear this shirt, or is it just for ‘tourists and maltstreamers’?
Where do u want 2 live when ur a grown up?

Recently, an NFL quarterback named ‘Michael Vick’ went to jail because he had a huge dogfighting operation in his backyard. From what I understand, he would train pitbulls to fight at high stakes, underground, illegal dog fights. The dogs that were not ‘tough enough’ were drowned, hung, and electrocuted. Somehow, he got caught, then went to prison for like a year or two.

Recently, Mike Vick was released from ‘the slammer.’ He was signed to a new team called the Philadelphia Eagles, and a group of alternative people came out to protest not only his return to society, and particularly his return to the NFL. They believe that he should be ‘in jail forever’ for his crimes against dogmanity. They are also intent on illustrating that Michael Vick is ‘not a role model’, but it seems like modern society has already accepted the fact that athletes are not role models [via Charles Barkley marketing campaign].

Seems ‘obvious’ that these ‘winners of the genetic lottery’ playing professional sports without much of a ‘real education’ are not role models. Seems like it would be sweet to be them, since you get a lot of money to do what you are ‘naturally good at’, but seems very obvious that athletes are ‘not role models.’

It seems like Michael Vick went to prison for ‘longer than rapists go to jail’ and possibly longer than some ‘drunk drivers who kill people’ go to prison. From what I understand, since Mike Vick was ‘famous’, they decided to ‘make an example’ of him, even though he really didn’t hurt a human or anything. It seems like it still might be ‘bad’ that he harmed some living creatures, but still plausibly ‘not as bad’ as harming a human. It seems like there are some people on the planet who love animals more than they love humans.

Dog fighting seems violent. I am not sure what the difference is between dog fighting, boxing, and ‘MMA’ is. It seems like it might all be creatures trying to ‘fucking kill’ one another.

I am not sure why people love dogs so much. It seems like it might be an ‘American thing’ where u r supposed to have a dog in order to have a perfect life. It seems like some people ‘love animals’ more than they love humanity. I feel like there are a lot of people who are the same way with the ‘environment’ or something. It seems most reasonable to ‘care about other humans’ more than anything else.

People really seem to ‘get fired up’ about animal rights.
Here is a group of AZNs doing some metaphorical protest in support of Animal Rights

Here are some lonely men getting their protest on & raising awareness about dog fighting.

It seems like animal rights bros are ‘very angry’ about this, and if they had their way, we would kill Michael Vick in the same way that he killed a bunch of dogs. Like we would dunk him in water, hang him, beat him, and electrocute him.

Should we forgive this ‘criminal’?

I think his excuse was ‘in my poor black community, dog fighting was not only a sport–but a way of life.’ It seems like we shouldn’t hold it against him for wanting to become the greatest dog trainer in the history of the Earth–he honestly might not have known that what he was doing was ‘wrong’, or perhaps he did it all because it was some sort of think piece to inspire us to analyze how humans hurt one another on a daily basis.

Hopefully he will be safe from protesters upon his return to the playing field. Not sure if this picture is real, but worried this might happen to him during a game if he returns.

Do yall know if ‘dog fighting’ is wrong?
Do u know if ‘human fighting’ is wrong?
Is it possibly to ‘rehabilitate’ people from ‘the streets’?
Do football players ‘fight’ and ‘harm one another’ just as much as dogs do when they fight?
Do u support athletes, or are they just ‘ass holes who get paid too much and do stupid things’?
Do dogs have ‘human rights’?
Are ‘underground animal fights’ the new ‘music festivals’?

Previous animal rights coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/08/animal-rights.html

Check out the Interscope logo. Seems like a ‘free spirited’ brand 4 kids transitioning 2 tweens, kinda like Taco Bell/Highlights Magazine or something.

I feel like it might be a ‘brand weakener’ for the Pope, because he will have to associate with artists who he ‘used to be better than.’ Here is a list of Interscope artists who are now his ‘equals.’

• Feist
• Will Smith
• Eminem
• Fergie
• Black Eyed Peas
• Gwen Stefani
• Enrique Iglesias
• Jimmy Eat Worlds
• The Gaga Ladies
• Limp Bizkit
• Nelly Furtada
• Papa Roach
• Pussie Cat Dolls
• u2
• =w=
• Yeah Yes Yeas

It seems risky for the Pope’s brand. What if he doesn’t have the #1 album in the world? Does that mean that religion is no longer ‘relevant’, and the Pope no longer has ‘true fans’? Do yall think that the Pope will have to market his album in traditional ways? Do yall know if he will have to ‘hand out fliers’, ‘put up banner ads on alt websites’, ‘try 2 get profile pieces in the NYTimes + Rolling Stone’, and ‘tweeting’ excessively? Feel kinda afraid that the Catholic Church will ‘try 2 hard’ 2 sell records, and the church will turn into a ‘business’ instead of a place of worshiping the Lord.

I feel like Interscope should have signed Pope John Paul II, who was a pope from the 80s who was ‘really big’ with the Catholics. He was known as ‘the postal service of Popes’, because every1 was really into him.

It will be interesting to see if the Pope ‘makes it.’ It seems like in order to ‘make it’ as a relevant band today, you must have an organic buzz foundation, along with a strong marketing team. Hope that he is ‘conceptual’ or something. Just yearning for ‘more’ out of music than we experienced during the now defunct chillwave era of indie music.

Will yall buy an mp3 by the Pope, or will u wait til he is remixed by __________?

Maybe I’m a dreamer/idealist, but today is just really hard 4 me. I want to say that I ’support our troops’ but I don’t know if I do. I’m a pretty liberal bro, so I just think progressively. I wish all of those troops were at home with their families, instead of fighting a White Vs. Brown war.

I think if I had been born a long time ago, I would have protested against every single war. Vietnam, WWII, the Battle of 1812, the Spanish American War, The Falklands War, the Aussie Vs British War. Not sure how I feel about communism…maybe America coulda learned something from The Reds… Maybe Obama has a lil bit of socialist inside of him…

h8 terrorism so much. h8 terrorists. Wish we could ‘fucking execute all of them’ after torturing them until they are all basically dead and have given us the exact coordinates of Osama Hussein Bin Laden.

Might think about war/life/family today by watching a war movie. Might watch Saving My Lil Bro Ryan starring Thomas Hanks.

Might watch Platoon starring Charlie Sheen.

Might watch Hot Shots starring Charlie Sheen.

FUCK WAR, yall.
How do yall feel abt war?
Has some1 that u know served in a war? Were they some ‘poor/dumb bro’ from ur high school?
Or just some ‘douchebag who is trying 2 become a politician’ or something like that?
Do yall think that God has Bless Our Troops?

Yall. I need a way to celebrate my culture/religion/heritage, but not turn my back on the neverending quest to take my personal brand to ’such great heights.’ Might just convert and become and altJew, then buy one of those ‘lil hats’ that they wear to prove that they really care about their heritage. I think they are called yamaka/Kippah/yarmulke. I am not sure if they are the new Palestinian scarves. Might need to find some more cultural fashion to make trendie.

Some times, u see a megaJew wearing a yamaka in public, and you are like ‘damn.’ Not sure if they ‘really believe’ or maybe they just have really intense parents. I feel like I’d want my kid to live a normal life, not having to answer questions about his faith/hat all of the time. Maybe I’m just scared of not believing in anything. I’m not exactly sure what Jewish people believe, but I think they are just like ‘Jesus is full of shit’ or something, and they are still waiting on some new bro to emerge as ‘@the_Real_God.’

I just need some structure in my life. I need a homeland. I need something to believe in. I need good and evil. Might also try ‘Christianity’ and possibly ‘Scientology.’ I think if I finally have a source for answers/truth, then maybe I won’t have such a negative attitude. Not even sure if the bro in the picture is Jewish, or if he is just wearing ‘a lil fabulous hat.’

Previous AltJew Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/t/altjews

8:00- Opening credits… fucking pumped.
8:02- omg. love this show. head gonna explode. wonder who will win this season.
8:05- yay. love Ryan Seacret. Think he might be ‘ghey’ though

8:06 – wonder if Ry Seacry had plastic surgery. Miss ‘metrosexuals.’ :::GAYDAR ALERT:::!!!
8:10- OMG! love this season’s cast! I can relate to a few of them s00 much! 1 is from my hometown and went to a high school close to mine!

8:11 – Commercial…. i mean cmon America… do we really need Tacos for 99 cents? LOL!!

8:14 – ugh. finally. New guy is singing. Think his name is Justin Guarini. He is singing a jazzy version of Maroon 5. He might be ‘ghey’, but also might just be ‘pumped to be famous for a month.’
8:16 – Simon is s0 mean!

8:17 – Love Paula!

8:18 – Some tween came up and sang Vanessa Carlton’s “1000 Miles.” Song always reminds me of the summer we went away 2 college, and I stayed in a long distance relaish.

8:19 – Commercial. OMG. Saw the scariest Volkswagen commercial. Need 2 get 1.
8:22 – Neil Diamond is the best! Great singer and great teacher! inspired.

8:23 – haha. Simon and Ryan goin at it. Those guys have great chemistry. Love their fashion.
8:25 – Just showed some rejects! some faggot dumb asian was such a fucking idiot! hahahaha! this guy sucks…. but he has a good heart… loves him

8:27 – OMG. Black woman got all mad! She seems like a real cunt! But I agree with the judges… all black people think that they are gifted at either music or sports… wish some1 would give them a reality check…

8:30 – Commercial. Yawn. Dorito break!
8:31 – Havin a craving… time to mash some peanut M&M’s into some Ben And Jerry’s… ugh… snacking will be the death of me… and my waistline! but 1 ‘junkfood day’ per week won’t be too bad.
8:34 – Finally…show back on…
8:34 – is it just me, or has Paula had some work done?

8:35 – Fat black guy singing. Think America gets behind fat ppl because they feel bad that they are gonna die so soon of Diabetes (aka The Sugar).
8:37 – Some twink is singing. Don’t think America will vote for his ‘fggt ass.’ especially cuz only ‘dumb people’ watch tv, and they are conservativez.

8:38 – some other gay guy is singing…. yawn… wish they could sexually screen these people. Need 2 write it into Prop 8….

8:41 – so gaytastic!!! transitioning into some bro who is trying to sound like Nickelback, I think.

8:43 – some old dad is singing. Time to get a 100 calorie pack! hehe
8:44 – taking the dog out to poop and pee
8:45 – have to take a shit
8:46 – Commercial. Ugh!!!!!! tired of seeing the same insurance commercial over and over!
8:50 – Hefty black girl singing. Think she might win so they can market her as ‘the next Aretha Franklin.’ Not sure if Beyonce will be willing 2 put on enough pounds to ‘fill that niche.’

8:51 – Random thought… Would Jessica Simpson/Ashlee Simpson’s career be better if they ‘won’ Ammy Idol?

8:53 – Kelly Clarkson singing ‘Since U Been Gone.’ she has ’star’ written all over her….
8:55 – Commercial. UGH!!! laptop running out of battery. Gonna make some popcorn for the announcement of the winner…. simon’s so mean! will dump Whoppers and Milk Duds into the popcorn to get some salty sweetness goin’ on…
8:56 – Nervous for all of the contestants.
8:57- OMG…just eliminated my favourite contestant…. feel sad 4 them. Sad that they go back home to their small town and will become alcoholics/ substance abusers.
8:58 – Time for the winner………after this commercial… UGH
8:59 – Calling in 1 last time to make sure my fave contestant wins. Gonna call from both my home phone and cell phone. hehe.
8:59 – OMG… here it comes…
8:59 – Ryan has envelope… opens it.
9:00 – THEY DID IT! They won… Think he/she is gonna be around this music industry or a long, long time.

9:00 – A Star Was Born
9:02 – Put in Freschetta pizza. Takes 25 minutes until crust golden brown. hungry

9:24 – Take out pizza from oven with oven mitt
9:25 – Burned the roof of my mouth with hot cheese…Shoulda let it cool off.
9:26 – Open up a 3 liter of root beer and pour it into a big cup
9:30 – put it on some soft porn while eating. Feel my penis get 36% erect
9:34 – finish entire pizza by myself 960 calories… ugh…
9:35 – penis fully erect, rubbing erect shaft with greasy palms. Lubricated. precum
9:39 – rubbing, waiting for a good sex scene to come up
9:43 – get restless, use my laptop to surf for a good porn scene
9:44 – rub butter on to my penis head and rub until is is ‘incredibly sensitive.’
9:58 – after waiting for a good scene, finally settle on one that is ‘kinda fucked up’ but also ‘very real.’ has a good cum shot
10:03 – about to cum
10:05 – make myself ejaculate at the same time that the porno guy cums on her face
10:06 – take dish to the sink. pile with rest of dishes.
10:08 – have really bad gas. Keep farting.
10:10 – farted and a runny log of shit accidentally came out. go to restroom to take off shit-stained underwear and drop log into the toilet
10:14 – spend 5 minutes looking at myself in the body. Holding my rolls of fat

10:45 – feeling worthless and disgusting
10:50 – write down a workout regiment for the next week…seriously cutting out bad foods.
10:52 – jerk myself off. cum, but it is clear and trickles out.
10:54 – examine myself for cancer
10:55 – worried i have cancer
11:04 – google ‘cancer symptoms’ and convince myself I have cancer
11:06 – eat a Hot Pocket

11:10 – get angry at myself. cut myself. long gash down my abdomen.
11:11 – bleeding into sink. getting light headed
11:14 – throw up hot pocket. Feel better
11:15 – call 3 friends. no one picks up
11:16 – call my dad to freak him out. Needing attention. haven’t talked to him in 5 years.
11:20 – tell him that I am going to ‘fucking kill myself.’
11:30 – crying on the bathroom floor. puddle of blood. Drinking a beer mixed with Nyquil and other downers
11:31 – get rifle out from underneath my bed
11:33 – sobbing uncontrollably. shit. Put rifle into my mouth
11:34 – think to myself ’seriously? Is this what I fucking want to do? Do you fucking know what you are doing? You can’t fucking do anything right. Fuck. You are too pussy. You can’t do anything right.’
11:36 – Check email one last time. Search twitter for something that would inspire me
11:38 – write a series of cryptic emails, facebook wall posts, myspace comments and tweets to people who I know well, and also to people who I don’t know.
11:39 – make an iTunes playlist with a mix of Linkin Park, Needle in the Hay, and “adam’s song” for people to find playing when they discover me. Also carve ‘please tell mom this is not her fault’ on my tummy with a steak knife.
11:40 – Check Perez Hilton for his reaction 2 2nite’s AI… feel the same way as him.
11:40 – Blow my brains out. Last words were ‘Goodnight moon.’


This has been a liveblog by Carles of the popular weblog HIPSTERRUNOFF.com. For more American Idol coverage, please visit hipsterrunoff.com/AmmyIdol.

Please comment with who u think will win next season.
What else should I liveblog, yall? Think it is ‘fun’ and makes me feel knnected 2 the rst of America. Do yall like 2 sit on ur lappy and watch TV, and talk about what is happening on the TV while ur connected 2 ppl on the internet?

Always thought I would get to die of natural causes. Worried about some sort of disease that my body can’t ‘overcome’ ending my life. Hope that I don’t have to wear some protective suit for the rest of my life.

Hope that Hollywood makes some movies that capitalize on our ‘fear of the unknown’ kinda like when they made all of those movies about a meteor hitting Earth.

Feeling pretty human, yall.
I think that within the next year, the tone of my blog will focus on encouraging the human race to start planning a way to get off the Planet Earth before we all die [via global warming]/natural disaster.

Kinda weird when something that is ‘viral’ actually ‘goes viral.’

From what I understand, swine flu came from Mexico because their farms are dirty.
Hope I didn’t get swine flu at Coachella. I think that California is close 2 Mexico.
Please use this post to share tips on how 2 avoid ‘catching’ the swine flu.’

Gonna go do some research. Sorry if this post is underdeveloped. Just learned how 2 use ‘google news.’ Freaking out.

nvr eating ‘bacon’ again.

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW 4-27-2009

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

playlist ‘after the jump’
Annie – Anthonio (Fred Falke Remix)
Passion Pit – Sleepyhead
Rubies – Stand In A Line
Metric – Help I’m Alive (Twelves Remix)
Fan Death – Goodbye Horses
Department of Eagles – No One Does It Like YOu
Desire – Under Your Spell
Kings of Leon – Use Somebody (RAC Remix)
Phoenix – Too Young
Friendly Fires – Skeleton Boy
Yacht – Summer Song
The Presets – This Boy’s In Love (Lifelike Remix)
Chromatics – Hands In the Dark
Here We Go Magic – I Just want to see you Underwater
Port O’Brien – I Woke Up Today
The Tough Alliance – Neo Violence (Shazam Remix)
Poney Poney – When Do You Want to Stop Working (Pacific! Remix)
Friendly Fires – Paris (Aeroplane Remix)
Grizzly Bear – Cheerleader
The Embassy – Some Indulgence
Ladyhawke – Back of the Van
Cut Copy – Out there on Ice
M83 – We Own the Sky
Neon Indian – Should HAve Taken Acid with you

Some of my bros decided to start a post-pre-post-meta-ironic core rap group. I think the concept behind it is that they are ‘not black’, ‘privileged’, and ‘get’ global issues. I think they are going to build a myspace with powerful graphic images that say controversial stuff, possibly parodying hiphop culture. I think they consider themselves 2 b ‘artists’ but they are also trying to ‘rage against the local scene’ and ‘how fucking stale’ it has become.

Yall. What’s the deal with ‘modern hiphop’? What is the state of ‘hipster rap’? Will bands like ‘The Cool Kids’ ever ‘catch on’? Would u rather watch these bros or M.I.A., or are they ‘basically the same thing’ except MIA has ‘better samples’/a higher ‘production value’?

Do yall have any ‘wannabe rap tribes’ in ur local scene who play at art shows?
Do u think that they are ‘being ironic’ about ‘trying to be a band’ without the emotional + personal commitment of ‘being a band’?

ughh…. so disenfranchised with hiphop/the scene/rap/art/everything.

glad that ‘the real slim shady’ is back with a brand new gimmick to shake up the scene [via autotune]

Not sure who I should like the most/find the funniest. Feel ‘jealous’ of South Park for being ’so mainstream’ but also ‘being cutting edge.’ Not sure if I should ‘respect it’, ‘go out of my way 2 h8 it’, or ‘pretend I don’t watch it.’

Who is an authentic celebrity interpretation?

Bono?

The Jonas Brothers?

Tay Zonday + numerous internet memes?

Jennifer Lopez? [via Mexi humor]

Barry Obama?

Tom Cruise?

Crystal Castles? [via Canadian humor]

Kanye West being a ‘fggt fish.’

Do yall think that South Park is more authentic than Family Guy, or The Simpsons, or are they the kind of people who just ‘make fun of shit’ but ‘don’t make the world better’?

Sometimes I feel like South Park is ‘funnie’ and that I am the only bro who ‘gets it’ like it is supposed 2 be ‘gotten.’ But then I get sad because ‘every1 likes South Park and I feel like less of an individual who likes progressive comedy. Wish I lived in the mid90s, back when there wasn’t a high demand for ‘progressive comedy’ and not every1 consumed it and made it a part of their personality.

Kinda feel _______ about a show that has ‘become popular’ but still ‘being progressive’ and ‘attempting 2 maintain a cutting edge tone’ with the ‘mass audience that they have garnered.’

Just wanna go ‘adult swimming’, and laugh at progressive comedy, dreaming about how ‘I am random and smart…maybe 1 day I can write this stuff… Might start a pop culture blog instead with political opinions.’