I am sure that 80% of the world is familiar with the FUPA, an acronym for ‘Fat Upper Pussie Area.’ It seems like after the mom jeans resurgence of 2k7, FUPAs were really just ‘inevitable.’ As females continue to grow older, their metabolism will slow down, and they will begin to gain weight. Usually women gain weight in their ass and thighs first. (Men are more likely 2 get ‘bellies’.) It seems like this FUPA trend might be ‘metabolically driven’, as opposed to just a ‘viral marketing gimmick.’

It seems like FUPAs are some sort of rare phenomenon, possibly caused by the form fitting structure of most altPants. Maybe as u gain wait, the tightness of ur pants ’shape’ where fat is distributed. Seems like it might be a ‘major health risk’ or something. Wish that Parsons/Pratt would do some sort of ’study’ about that, instead of just generating ‘designers’ who will work for mainstream brands. Seems like FUPAs might be ‘trendy’ but also ‘unhealth.’

From what I understand, they sell ‘butt pads’ for women with no asses. I wonder if some1 will market FUPA pads, for skinny girls with a Skinny_Upper_Pussie_Area. I might add this as a product to iamcarles.com, in order to capitalize on tween females who are still ‘rain thin’ but want that extra ‘padding’ to achieve an older aesthetic.

(Did yall used 2 stuff ur bras when u felt like u had no titties?)

Feel confused about FUPAs, mom jeans, skinny jeans, and how health + fashion can counteract one another. Might buy velco orthopedic shoes for old people to have a post-ironic prsnl brand, but more importantly, to give feet/arc/ankles proper support, ensuring the load bearing capabilities of my footwear are optimized.

Do yall think that FUPAs will ‘catch on’ in the next decade?
Will alternative women gain weight in the next decade?

Will altwomen have to ‘retire’ leggings in 2k10?
Will the current alt generation ‘gain weight’ and how will it alter the future of fashion?
Do u have any health tips 4 ’staying thin’ besides ’shopping at Holes Foods and ‘doing lines of blow’?
R u a bro with a FUPA?

I have never climaxed with another human being. I have ‘been with people’ but I still have never ‘came’ bc of a vagina, mouth, or bum hole. I mean, I really love the people I’ve been with, but I’m always just really uncomfortable since we have to ‘do it’ in public places. I want to make love to some1 in a place where I am comfortable. Really looking forward to my dorm room so that I can bring people home to sleep with.

The truth is, I want to make love to my true lover for the first time on top of an AZN. I was reading in AZNmagazine that utilizing an AZN as a bed/love seat / futon is really effective, and actually helps you thrust into your lover. Whether it is a man or a woman, if you are on top of an AZN, you can reach your lover’s gSpot 45% more effectively. I really wanna try it out, yall. Going to IKEA to buy one this weekend. ^_^

I remember in the past, I wanted to buy an AZN, and I came up with ’snarky’ descriptions abt what would be the best part about owning an AZN, but I failed to see that human furniture might be a huge trend. I read that in the Bruno film, Paula Abdul utilizes ‘filthy mexicans’ as furniture or something.

When I start design school, I will find a way to convert humans into functional objects/household tools. From what I understand, our Earth is overpopulated, and there aren’t enough jobs. I feel like some ppl should ‘find happiness’ by doing something simple like ‘being a reclining chair’, or possibly putting a piece of glass on their back and ‘chilling as a dinner table.’

Might get this TV stand, but my HDTV is ‘fucking huge’ so not sure if that is stable enough.

Would be chill to get a ‘bro shelf’ but might ‘turn ghey’ if I see peens too often.

I feel like a human Dorito holder would probably be something that would go well in my apartment.

Just want 2 build a comfortable home, where I feel safe enough to ‘climax’/'cum’. ^_^

Previous Posts about Human Trade
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/human-trade

Previous Posts about buying an AZN
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/what-would-u-do-if-u-bought-azn-reader.html

Photograph from when my AZN tried to escape and I had to go ’spotlighting’ in the wilderness of Los Angeles to try to ‘find’ (recapture + punish) him

If u could buy 1 piece of human furniture, what race + type of furniture would it be?

Yall. I was looking at a high-end fashion website, and noticed a group of broads standing around with shin guards on. It kinda reminded me of the season that I played youth soccer until I made my mom stop taking me to the games cuz I didn’t ‘give a shit’ about things like organized sports. Worst time of my life.

But yeah…Not sure if these shin guards are gonna be necessary because of some sort of ‘ground creature’ that will start 2 bite our shins. Or maybe since there will be more homeless people on the sidewalks [via the economy], we have to protect ourselves from them grabbing at our legs.

Gotta go to a local soccer shop in suburbia 2 get some shin guards. Might also pick up a ‘David Beckham jersey.’

Which type of shin guard is more authentic?
The kind that wraps around ur heel?

Or the kind that is a lil ‘free floater’?

Just trying to find out what would help me ‘look kewler.’

Remember when indoor soccer shoes were alt?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/indoor-soccer-shoes-big-in-2k10.html

Might need 2 ‘get more athletic’ in 2k10. Is smoking bad 4 u?

Just want a fashion forward girl who wears shin guards, or maybe just an AZN with a puppy dress [via Falcor]. :-(

Today, I will blog about a band called the Outkasts of Society. I think their name is social commentary on being a black back in a white world.

One of them is a blipster and one of them is a ‘thug.’

From what I can tell, their song “Hey Ya” also known as “Hey Yall” will probably be the next ‘Young Folks’ by Peter Bjorn and John

I think they mite win a Grammy 1 day.

They have 2 different brands, but they merge together in order to form something authentic.

From what I can tell, their album cover is a metaphor about their President being black.

They are also political. They have a song about the War on Terror In Iran/Afghanistan called ‘Bombs Over Baghdad.’

I think they have a brand of ‘dudes who probably cum on a lot of girls’ to ‘dehumanize’ them.

But that’s why they are so brilliant. Their best song is probably “I’m Sorry Ms. Jackson.” In the song, the Outkasts sing to a mom of a girl who they got pregnant.

Outkasts of Society on Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/outkast

Do yall think this band is ‘cool’?
Do u think they will be the next Cool Kids/Spank Rock/ Bloc Party / Oasis / Metro Station?
Is this what music will sound like after bloghouselectro/AnCo dies?
Do u think this band will ‘make it’ in the emerging BLIPSTER demographic who don’t value the traditional ‘thug values’ of yester-year’s rappers?

Yall guys need 2 realize that when u go out, u need 2 OPEN UR EYES 2 what’s around u. Have fun. Take life a lil less seriously. If u think about it, u could make a Bingo Card about just about n e thing. That’s because BINGO is meant to let you chill, and ‘let go’ and embrace the RANDOMNESS of life. Instead of thinking about ‘winning’, u can admit that u have little control over the outcome, and just realize that life is all about opportunity + luck + chance. Embrace the power of BINGO, yall.

“Let Go.” -Frou Frou

Do yall ever print out Internet Meme bingo cards and chill with them at events?
What’s the most authentic colour of highlighter?
Do u think n e 1 will ever invent a Bingo Board for the Year 2k9 [featuring AnCo]?
Or will some1 make a Monopoly board featuring alternative hotspots around the world?

For the longest time, we have been trying to find out ‘what’s next’ after skinny jeans. Will it be Oops I crapped My Pants pants? Or stepdad/standup comedian jeans? Or leggings? Or ginger peens?

There are just s000 many trends. Kinda wish I had multiple versions of ‘me’ to experiment a little bit more. Just want 2 stay modern, yall. So many gimmicks have emerged that I don’t even know ‘what’s real’ any more. Sort of just wish our government would create an international uniform. It could be colour coded, and we could bail out American Apparel/utilize them as the sole maker of global uniforms. America would be white, China would be red, Asia would be ‘yellow’, Africa would be black, South of America would be brown, and other generalizations like that.

h8 life. h8 our world. wish I didn’t care abt material things.

XX BONUS BLIPPEST BLIPSTER ALIVE XX

I wonder if in the future, all ‘black people’ will look like this bro. Not sure if I should ‘get my eyes removed’ yet, or what type of optical lens replacement to look into.

Worried that he’s turning into a contorted alt, yall! Is it authentic to ‘take iron supplements’ or should u just let ur body rot away [via lack of protein {via vegan diet}]?

-the HRO Ghostwriter

“Hey did u get some? Man… that is s000 dumb.”
-Dashboard Confessibro

Who do yall think will be ‘big in 2k9′? Kinda like a girl that ‘every1 wants 2 tug 2.’ Yall know what I mean.

I have a feeling that Natalie Portman might ‘get famous’ in 2k9. She was in popular movies like the Garden States, and I think she played Keanu Reeves’ lovemate in The Matrix.

Another up and coming singer is the Katy Perrys. This is a picture of her before she ‘rebranded’ into a semi-attainable moderately alt broad with ‘breasts that u can make love to.’ This makes her attractive to men without isolating her from female markets.

I have also heard of this new mainstream band called Lady Gaga. She seems like she is taking ‘electro’ to the mainstream. She seems really unique, fashionable, and talented. Think she really ‘gets’ what life/dance music is all about.

I am not sure if I like her zany personal brand, or if she should have stuck with her ‘Sexie New Jerseyian’ brand.

Another person who I think will be big in 2k9 is The Jessica Simpsons. She used to be a reality star, but now she is starting to sing country music. She has a beautiful voice and is very talented. She invented ‘mom jeans’ in the early 00s.

Another band 2 watch is The Girl Talks. Now that they have officially ‘become popular’ and ‘mainstream’, we have 2 see if they are going to slip down in2 a spiral of ___________. R yall worried? What happens to ex-authentic alts when they become commoditized + mainstream?

Another band 2 watch is The Ches. They are a communist anti-establishment rock group. They sing about ideas like ‘communism’ and ‘fascism’ and ‘hipsterism’ and ‘war’ and ‘death’ and other stuff that sounds like Linkin Park.

N e ways… just wanted 2 let yall know what’s going on in ‘mainstream world’ since sometimes we forget that there’s all of these other people out there who like stuff that’s less interesting than ‘us.’

h8 mainstreamers, but u kinda have 2 follow it a little bit so that you make sure that you’re still alt, and not ‘becoming one of them.’

Who do yall think will be big/go mainstream in 2k9? What do yall know about these bands/acts/people that I don’t know about? Need yalls help so that I can keep my blog ‘modern.’

It kinda sucks how global warming has ruined everything. Glad that Obama is gonna find a way to make our nation’s temperature drop a couple of degrees. That guy can do anything, yall! He kinda reminds me of ‘the Godbro.’

“O, Katrina.” – the Black Lips

OBAMA WILL NOT LET ANOTHER KATRINA HAPPEN

WHILE OBAMA IS IN OFFICE, NO HURRICANE WILL HIT AMERICAN SHORES.

OBAMA WILL SAVE US BEFORE WE EVEN HAVE 2 BE SAVED.

can’t believe something as simple as ‘an outfit’ opened up this type of philosophical discussion. I guess fashion is important, yall.

Do u think ur next personal brand will serve as a ThinkPiece about an American tragedy?
Do u believe in ‘non-profit’ personal brands?

But then 2k8 ended
and I had 2 grow up
My hair went grey/fell out
and the youth which I documented
grew up and/or died

It was time to make a choice
did I want 2 work at Arby’s/Chili’s?
or did I want 2 put my dSLR skills to work?
After Obama I watched Obama launch his new website/get inaugurated
the choice was an obvious one

I decided to spend my life documenting
more important things
like politics
& nature
& ‘historical events’
& relevant celebrities (not paparazzi stuff, tho)

I want to be
more than just a bro
taking pix of me/people who look like me
with my hi-end camera

I will spend the rest of my life
taking meaningful photos
that are more than just ‘blogworthy’
I want them to go in the textbooks
that are issued to my children
and my children’s children.

I will invest money
in technology and travel
to be at the most relevant events
freelancing
and finding my photos in relevant periodicals (not on the web/a flickr account)

Yesterday, I took this picture.

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I also took this picture

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I also took this picture.

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I also took this picture.

This picture may or may not be a metaphor.

I have grown up.
Grown as a photographer
beyond taking pictures in dimly lit clubs
of an alternative population
who show off their tattos & tits

I started 2 capture LIFE
through my lens
because there’s more 2 life
than electroBloghaus parties
and meaningful band photography.

I am photography.
I am in touch with humanity.
I am documenting humanity.
I am PhotoBro 3.0.