Hipster Runoff

Should Men Wear Polka dots? [The Death of Stripes and Solids]

Carles — Wed, 15 May 2013 17:20:34 +0000

I come from a simple time.
A time where there were only stripes, and solids
There was plaid, which was sorta a mixed vibe of stripes and solids
But these days, 'polka dots' seem 2 be everywhere.

Polka dots seem to have 'swag'
But at the same time
Polka dots also seem to have 'class'
[via menswear bros who wear bowties and sweater vests like they are fucking male models]

Oh shit
U got the new limited edition
polkadot five panel?

How r ur polka dots aligned?

Ur dots seem chill

Bitches been wearing polka dots since 4evr
Don't give a shit when a woman wears polka dots
since everything that a girl does
is automatically 'trying too hard'

I could literally not give less of a shit
about bitches in polka dots

But the swag bro
and menswear bros
are incorporating
the polka dot

If ur not in polka dots, ur not 'on trend'
Sell ur solids, stripes and plaids to Buffalo Exchange / ur local thrift store
before the bubble officially bursts

The polka dot offers a whimsical element
of a rigid #menswear look

So playful! Yet still so classy!

U look so rich! U've tricked me with ur clothes!

But is there a point
where ur 'too old' to be wearing polka dots
or is it a 'playful element'
that lets bitches know
ur a 'fun lovin guy who likes to have fun with the way he dresses'

I mean, let's face it
Ur not a bro wearing an Affliction/TapOut shirt

But if you wear 'boring ol stripes and solids'
that have now become excessively ubiquitous
Can u really signal 2 a potential mate
'I want the clothes I wear to make me seem interesting, 'on trend', and attempting to get ur pussy wet.'

But at the same time
What if a girl is like
'Polka dots. Get the fuck outta here with that trend
another niggaw hoppin on a trend like it's goin outta style'

Damn son
U didn't get the memo
Stripes are fuckin 'out' bro
Break free from parallel lines

Create a new grid
[via structured dots]

OH SHIT
U spaced out those polka dots, nigga
U look fuckin 'on trend'

Ur on that mid century mod swag
Roger Sterling's accent wall

SWAG IS FOR BOYS///
CLASS IS FOR MEN ////
BUT ARE POLKA DOTS 4 EVERY1?

QUESTION: What did the On-Trend-Polka-dot-wearing-Bro say to the polkadot during hide and seek?

Spotted!

/////////
Do u <3 or h8 'polka dots'?
Are polka dots 'trying 2 hard'?
Will stripes 'always win'?
Will 'solids' become obsolete?
Will polkadots have staying power?
Or will they be a 'failed trend' that becomes an ironic memory of the times?
Should bros 'settle' for stripes and solids, or are they allowed to 'polka dot'?
If U R A GIRL, please let bros know whether or not you would fuck a bro if he was wearing polkadots, or if polka dots are 'trying too hard'.

PREVIOUSLY
Should I button the top button of my collared shirt?

Where have all the AltBros gone? [Rise of the SWAG BROS and MENSWEAR POST-BROS]

Zooey Deschanel Grew Out Her Bangs: Is Indie Commercialization 'over'?

Carles — Mon, 13 May 2013 16:49:44 +0000

When Zooey Deschanel's Bangs Died, So Did A Piece of All of Us.

There used to be a time when 'indie' meant promise.
The promise of a more authentic tomorrow
But the real driving force was the commercial interest in the 'indie' aesthetic
At one point in time, every1 thought that 'indie' was the next 'mainstream'

In reality, 'indie' was just a passing trend
The current iteration of 'alt' culture
with a consumer friendly 'angle'
The entire genre existed in order 2 write the score of smart phone commercials

There was once a time when girls cut their bangs
making them 'indie'
There was a time when Zooey Deschanel's career was at a crossroads

What 'angle' could she implement to take advantage
of the then-booming indie movie and music scene?

Cut ur bangs
Find a dude who plays guitar
(marry him/start a band with him)
Start taking press photos in ur graveyard.

This was who she 'was'
She was 500 days of summer
She was the 'She' of The Shims
She was #TheNewGirlOnFox

All bc of her bangs
I guess 'bangs' are 'over'
It's time 2 move on
Time to find the new aesthetic personal identity to implement
in order to seem 'now'

The awkward phase
where ur still 'growing out ur bangs'
Sometimes makes u feel gross and unbeautiful

but u know u have 2 do it
they are slowly dying
by growing
but still dying.

There is nothing left here 2 commercialize.
The aesthetic is ubiquitous
In 3-10 years, sorority girls with throw parties themed 'indie hipster'
this is truly the end
When the vultures have flown away
2 eat something else's bones

When Zooey Deschanel's Bangs Died, So Did A Piece of All of Us.

DoEs ZoZo LoOk GoOd, BB?!?

The Former Indie Celeb was having trouble adjusting to life after Indie.

Carles — Fri, 10 May 2013 19:38:20 +0000

The Former Indie Celeb used to have it all. A string of albums and EPs reviewed on Pitchfork.com, tons of blogposts on seemingly relevant blogs, and somewhere around 35,000 Facebook likes. The Former Indie Celeb even graced the cover of several magazines (3 foreign, 1 now defunct American publication).

In reality, the former indie celeb never made too much money, making about $40k (before taxes) in the highest year of his band's prime. Much of his money was spent on 'partying' surrounding his own concerts, enabling a rocknroll lifestyle though he might not have actually had the financial backing to ever truly 'party like a rock star.'

The Former Indie Celeb had to move back to his Midwestern City after living in Brooklyn for a year, claiming to work on an album, shopping his 'new EP' to a series of labels that weren't very interested in some one whose prime had clearly passed him by. The former indie celeb was forever attached to a now defunct fringe indie genre which many considered laughable. It was hard for the former indie celeb to see what he thought were his 'contemporaries' having somewhat successful careers, appearing on Saturday Night Live, selling hundreds of thousands of albums, and fulfilling the promise that he was once told he had.

Not every indie celeb made it to Mainstream Indie Heaven.

Moving back into his parents house wasn't too bad. The former indie celeb's parents were very supportive of his artistic endeavors, but if anything they were a bit naive. They thought he could get back into the game. Instead of getting a job, he told them that he was working on a new album. Much like when the Former Indie Celeb was in high school, his parents gave him a monthly allowance. Most of it was spent in a network of bars and nightclubs that still catered to the decaying 'indie aesthetic.'

Sometimes he would be recognized at these bars. He was somewhat of a 'hometown hero', regarded as 'putting the city on the map.' He could play a few shows a year at a small venue and still sell out. But they did love his music. Maybe that's what kept him going.

The former indie celeb was inside all day, browsing the websites that his face used to cover. He could hardly recognize the sites any more, and wondered if he even had a place on them. Even if he got back on the sites, would it even matter? Could former indie celeb ever leverage the internet like he did between the years 2k7-2k10? The former indie celeb sometimes couldn't believe that it was already 2k13, and he was in danger of no longer being a '20something'.

The former indie celeb was still in a long distance relationship with the girl he dated while he was still playing major regional festivals. A cute piece of alt ass, she was always on his arm, making common fans jealous. However, it was clear that she had lost interest now that her VIP privileges had expired. After a drunken night at the local bar, he called her after only emailing and gChatting with her for the past 3 weeks. She claimed to be really busy setting up for a SXSW party with a self-employed brand management and consulting gig that she swung, mainly leveraging her BF's indie star power in her first pitch.

"Do you still want to be with me?" he asked.

"Of course, hun. You're brilliant," she replied in her Australian accent. They met while he was on tour in Australia, but eventually moved to Brooklyn to be with him and expand her own career.

"I really want you to come visit me. I finally feel like myself again." In that moment, the fallen indie celeb was finally being honest with himself. After years on the road, the fallen indie celeb wondered what he was doing. Who was actually interested in him? Playing the same songs off his successful debut album and (admittedly) subpar second album did get old. Free drinks. People adoring you as an artist. Drunken conversations with 'indie girls' after the show who posed in Facebook pictures with you. All of the abuse from blog critics and twitter people. From a financial perspective, former indie celeb would have been better off working for Enterprise RentAcar for the past 3 years. He was over it. He was feeling like himself again.

She replied, "Babe. You know I've got the big SouthBi event coming up. Maybe you should come this year and you can sleep in my hotel room."

It used to be her crashing in his hotel room during SXSW. The tables had turned. He was never paid for a SXSW show, all he had to show for it was a series of drunken memories. He did not want to go with her to SXSW. To face those people that used to be interested in him. To face those people that used to be interested in what they could get from him. In that moment, he realized just how absurd his entire existence as an Indie Celeb was.

The former indie celeb paused for a moment. He said, "We do not have a long term future." He pressed the 'End Call' button on the Samsung Galaxy S2 that he obtained at a Gifting Suite after doing a 30 minute DJ set in 2011, one of his last acquired assets from his tenure as a notable Indie Celeb.

The former indie celeb's mom knocked on his door. "Do you want a Hot Pocket? I can put one in the micro for you." The former indie celeb shed a tear, remembering that true love isn't a follow on Twitter, a free Heineken at a music festival, or a drunk-soft-dick-blow-job from a random indie college girl who thinks she is sleeping with some one famous. The indie celeb had been looking for adoration from every one who didn't matter in a world that didn't exist.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Life After Indie: How a Former Indie Celeb has Fallen From Grace...

4evr on the Internet.

Carles — Fri, 03 May 2013 19:13:22 +0000

A child once tweeted at his father:
"@Daddy, how long is 4evr?"

The father took a moment before replying:
"@Son, 4evr is 4evr."

The son looked at his mobile device
and tried 2 understand.
How long is 4evr on the internet?

Can your content on the internet live on 4evr on the internet?
Will websites on the internet last 4evr?
Will people on the internet live 4evr?
Longer than they live IRL

Digital footprint
lasting 4evr
[via the cloud]
stored on multiple servers in multiple locations

U will last 4evr somewhere
published on the internet.
Ur status message could be read
at the Bibliotecque of Congress.

4evr?
Longer than U?
Longer than me?
4evr on the internet.

I am 4evr on the internet
I am 4evr
I am
I am on the internet
4evr on the internet I am

so afraid to die
but the internet was the escape
information on the internet
to distract us from the end
by broadcasting into something that would last 4evr

It has to mean something
(It meant nothing)

The son replied back to his father:
"@dad #4evr is #4evr"

The father tweeted into the infinite abyss of internet:
"#4evr&evr"

Directed at no1
Directed at every1
#4evr&evr
Amen

Relevance on the Internet.

Carles — Wed, 01 May 2013 21:33:35 +0000

Every day
The internet exists.
Things happen
While people on the internet watch.

Sometimes things will happen that people want information about.
There are websites on the internet
providing content on the internet
which can focus on a particular trend on the internet.

When lots of people want to know information
about a person, place, thing or idea
It is 'relevant'
People on the internet are trying to stay relevant in real life
[via watercooler convo]
Sharing links on Facebook feeds and Twitters
with content on the internet that has an 'angle' with which they can identify.

Websites on the internet can be relevant on the internet.
People on the internet can be relevant on the internet.
Trends on the internet are basically always relevant on the internet.
Content on the internet can 'go viral'. I am not sure if that is actually relevant.

Relevance on the internet can come quickly.
Relevance on the internet fades even quicklier.
Relevance on the internet is impossible.
Relevance on the internet is a lie.

Websites on the internet turn into digital graveyards.
Myspace, Friendster, dead blogs of yesterday, failed viral meme blogs.
Today, there is a new relevant website on the internet
Covering the latest relevant trends on the internet
for the latest demographic of people on the internet
Producing strategic content on the internet

Relevance on the internet
is a lie that u tell urself
2 convince urself
that it all wasn't a huge waste of time.

Websites on the Internet.

Carles — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:56:28 +0000

There are places on the internet
called websites.
They are a place for content on the internet.
Content on the internet is made up of words on the internet.

Websites on the internet are for people on the internet
to travel to
to visit
to stop by
to hang out @

People will visit a website to consume content
to consume themselves
to be consumed by anything other than real life.

Websites have people on them
writing words
generating content
trying to have a voice on today's 'trend'

Websites have information
they are pit stops on the information super high way
In real life we are searching for information.
Websites have things on them. Content, People, Words, Other Stuff, Etc.

Websites sound pretty boring.
Who cares
I might as well sift thru stacks and stacks of paper
It is all waste.
We cannot shred the internet.
We cannot throw away the internet.
We cannot erase the internet?

Content on the Internet

Carles — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:45:49 +0000

The internet is filled with content.
Pages and Pages of content.
Content on the internet comes from words on the internet.
Word on the internet are written by people on the internet.
People on the internet consume content on the internet.

The internet is a cheap, easy, fast way to publish content
Content can stay there forever.
Sometimes there are photographs
Moving visuals
Embedded content

Content consisting of aggregated content
People on the internet try to consume as much content on the internet
Sometimes it is easier to create content on the internet when you
can identify trends on the internet.

People on the internet create content on the internet
some humans create premium content
other humans can only tweet and post to facebook
some humans share content on the internet created by people on the internet

Content is usually free
People are encouraged to like and share content
Content on the internet is a cultural currency
Content on the internet isn't actually that interesting
It is just words
by/for people
about things, sometimes trends.

Content on the internet makes people on the internet who they are.
on the internet.

People On The Internet.

Carles — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 21:49:58 +0000

There are people on the internet
doing things
feeling things
doing more stuff.

These people are searching for things in their natural lives'
on the internet.

These people live in homes that are equipped with internet
Sometimes the internet goes out.
Usually, their internet has

People are on the internet.
They read things
They buy things.
People represent themselves on the internet.
People become 'brands' on the internet.
People write words on the internet.
Sometimes they consume trends on the internet.

People load websites.
People close tabs in their browser.
People need the internet to check things.
People are on the internet on their computers
People are on the internet on their smartphones

People write words about things they are seeing and feeling.
I am not sure if it all means anything
that people are on the internet
but it is probably just as random and meaningless
as real life.

I don't know who all of these people on the internet are
Some people try to be all famous on the internet
But some people are famous and important on the internet and in real life
Some people on the internet are trends on the internet.

I am not sure why there are so many words on the internet
written by these people on the internet.
Who the eff are all these people on the internet and what do they want from me?

Person on the internet.
Who r u?
What is ur name and why r u here?
Alien on the internet.