I am interested in this new era of the Crystal Castles. I thought that they were just going to be ‘irrelevant’ for 1.2 more years, then ‘release an overhyped+overblogged’ followup album that altNewsOutlets covered more bc of ‘familiarity’, and less bc of ‘artistic merit.’ But now it seems like they might be interested in becoming ‘the best Canadian band since the Arcade Social Fire Scene.’

All artists are trying to ‘be authentic’ and ‘provide an inimitable live experience’, and many bands achieve this by displaying their musicianship. I think ‘playing live’ might be a good idea for the Chrystie Cashes. Think all bands are ultimately trying to ‘look cool’ by looking like a male rocknroll band. ‘Playing guitar’ makes consumers feel comfortable watching ur band play. They don’t want to see bandmembers ‘hunched over a laptop’ or even just ‘playing tambourine’. A live audience needs to be ‘captivated’ by ur performance, and enable the much-blogged-about phenomenon of ‘word of mouth’ advertising to take place [via twitter].

I am interested to see them on tour, and see if Alice can play some mad ‘riffs’ on the guitar. If CC comes out to your area, let me know how ‘the Alice on Guitar’ experiment works out.

I was s00 confused…like I thought I was on the ‘fast track’ 2 ‘being rich & happy.’ However, I was ‘just another brick in the wall’ of the American economy, and I didn’t really have any ‘real skills.’ Sorta just wish I could get paid 2 ‘be myself’ and ’share my musings’ on current events (in 140 characters or less).

Just really starting to learn who I am, and how 2 ‘find happiness’ in this world. Guess maybe I should just ’surround myself with ppl who love me’ and things will ‘be alright.’ Sorta wish there was a ‘foreign man’ who lived across the street from me who could share his knowledge/cock with me. I wonder if life really is meaningful, yall. Maybe I’ll know more abt life when I ‘find a real job.’

Sad that my life may not actually be what I thought it would be. This is a movie about ’settling’ for less. Sorta like ‘a more realistic version of The Devil Wears Prada’ for the ‘type of cunt’ who would see this kind of movie.

Previous Job Coverage


http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/05/my-jobcareer-does-not-align-with-my-true-personal-brand.html

What did u major in?

I remember back in 2k7, I was passionate about very different things than I am now. Electro blogs with neon layouts. ‘Bangers.’ Electro duos. I used to be a bloghousebro. Now it seems like ‘the world has turned and left me here’ since I got a tattoo of ‘the Justice logo.’ I’m not even sure if Justice are ’still together.’ They are probably playing the ‘theme park’ and ’state fair’ circuit with bands like Jessica Simpson/Bowling for Soup/Everclear/other bands that have ‘gone out to pasture’ 2 die.

These days, I only listen to Grizzly Bears and the Animal Collecting. It’s just kinda weird how much things have changed. Considering getting ‘Veckatimest’ tattooed on the shaft of my cock. I remember when I got my Jousteeece tatty, I told my parents that it was ‘biblical.’ Can’t believe I am ‘just another bro with a cross tattoo’ even though I don’t even really ‘get’ God.

Back then, I assumed electro would ‘be forever.’ I assumed that bloghouse would eventually become ‘mainstream’ and get played on the radio, side-by-side with top40 radio. Now I feel like if I brought ‘bloghouse’ up in a conversation with a circle of entrylevelers, they would say ‘what is that?’ I feel like I am possibly a music purist for being so connected to the bloghaus era.

Are my glory days behind me?
Should I have my tattoo ‘electronically removed’?
R u ashamed of the person who u used 2 b?

I think that the marketing team behind Animal Collective are ‘pure geniuses.’ Not only did they ‘perfectly brand’ MerriPostWeather Pavillions, and totally ‘overhauled’ the band’s general brand–they also know how to ‘inject the band into relevant discussions.’ I think this was filmed ‘before MJ died’, but I feel like they somehow knew that ‘MJ was going to die’, and wanted to ‘get as much buzz as possible.’

Sometimes it is important to ‘jump on a megameme‘, such as the MJ death. If you are important/famous/relevant enough, people are ‘interested in hearing what u have to say’ about a newsworthy event. Feels like it is ‘beneficial for content providers’ for an ‘alive famous person’ to reflect upon a ‘dead famous person.’ U can then ‘write a blog news story post’ about it, and get ‘mad hits.’ I think it is important to seem ’sad’ and ‘appreciative’ when some1 who was somewhat influential dies. Sometimes it also seems appropriate to be ’shocked.’

Not sure who is the ‘kewlest’ member of AnCo. Think that Panda ’seems chill.’ Not sure if Avey is ‘well-branded’ in a Gilligan hat/bucket hat. I feel like Geologist’s gimmick of ‘wearing a headlamp’ seems like a great one, but I think he needs to ‘commit himself’ to the gimmick 100%, and wear the headlamp during all hours of the day.

Photo via Stereogum

If I had seen him without his headlamp, I would have called him and told him ‘get your goddamn headlamp on.’

Feel like they have probably lost out on hundreds of thousands of dollars worth or ‘merch revenue’ by not selling a Geologist headband.

Would definitely rather have a headlamp than a ‘bucket hat.’

Still trying to ‘brainstorm’ sweet merchandising ideas for indie bands. Starting a consulting firm.

Photos via bigpicture

Damn. This picture ’seriously seems like a Where’s Waldo’ 2-page spread. Can’t believe it is actually ‘temporary shelter’ for people attending some ‘huge ass’ music festival in England. Feel ‘overwhelmed’ to imagine a ‘live music experience’ with s000 many ppl. Wonder if I really want to ‘rally around music’ and ‘bask in the human spirit’ in that type of environment.

‘Jesus christ’. Seems like an event that would ‘raise enough money’ to ‘end hunger’ or something/make a ‘GDP comparison to a shitty country.’

Think the world will look like this ‘when the world ends’ and a portal to the center of the Earth opens up.

I wonder if they built an ‘Outdoor World’/'Bass Pro Shop’/'Cabela’s’/miscellaneous outdoor store nearby just to handle people who ‘needed outdoor gear’ for this sweet festival.

Can’t believe Glastonbury lets you ‘volunteer’ to get into the music festival for free. Think that u have to sort through trash/recyclable materials. Seems ‘green’, possibly like a marketing campaign.

I wonder if a company could offer their workforce non-monetary ‘compensation’ for an entire fiscal year. Like a company that ‘pays workers’ with ‘kewl bands performing’/meaningful experiences, instead of ‘having a payroll.’ Feel like there is a ‘genre of people’ who would do that, as long as you gave them a tent and a community shower, or something.

I feel inspired by seeing so many ppl ‘uniting around music’, willing to ‘chill in a tent for days’/’set up some sort of monetized shanty town.’ Feel like possibly building some sort of music festival that incorporates ‘actual slums.’

Most festivals are held in a ‘meaningful public space’ where you can also see ‘the city’s skyline in the background.’ This helps u feel ‘connected to the music’ while also ‘being reminded of the power of man/engineering/archyteckchy.’

Sorta just want to ‘feel’ the city behind me.

Being in a crowd + seeing ‘corporate America’ makes me feel like I am a part of humanity.

This is a picture of ’slums’ in Brazil. What if we had some sort of ’super authentic’ music festival in ’slums’, and ‘rented’ the homes from the people who ‘actually lived there.’ Feel like ‘every1 would win’ since rich people would get ‘an organic experience’ and ‘the poors’ would get $$$$.

Really just searching for the most authentic music experience possible, and I think that the modern music festival is ‘isolating a demographic of authentic thrillseekers.’ Sorta just mainstream + corporate now.

What ideas do yall have for the modern music festival?
Do u believe in the concept of the microfestival–charging 10 to 100 fans ~$10K per ticket to see their fave bands in an intimate, exclusive setting?
Should we ‘buy out’ a bunch of slum dwellers and turn the area into a music festival space?
Worried that I am ‘losing touch with humanity’ even though I am ‘actively seeking’ the opportunity to ‘connect’ with ‘all humans.’

Video: Dirty Projectors - Stillness is the Move

Analysis: I feel pressured to blog about this because they are apparently ‘relevant’ even though I don’t really ‘get’ why. Feel like I don’t ‘trust’ people who ‘ooze praise’ for the Dirty Projecties. I am not sure what this video is ‘trying to be.’ Think it is trying to be conceptual/artsy, but then also trying to be ‘normal.’ Probably like trying to trick mainstreamers into thinking that the Dirty Projector is ‘the next Feist.’ Feel like this video ‘looks worse than Bat for Lashes’ in terms of ‘forced conceptuality.’

I feel like the girls in the Dirty Projectors are ‘high level altbaguettes’ who u have a ‘very strong personal brand’ in your local scene. Ur not really sure why they are ‘desired’ or ‘respected’, but then you find out that they are ‘in some crappy band’ and their roles within the band are ‘questionable’. like you ‘went to a show where one of them just played the tambourine’ or something. You and your friends ’share their myspace page’ as a ‘very funny inside joke’ because you think their songs/pictures/listed_influences are ‘very funnie/terrible.’ Then the next thing u know, they are ‘being blogged about+praised for ‘amazing pop sensibilities” and u feel like u ‘might as well off urself.’

Sort of just want to go to a Dirty Projjies show just to ‘hear this song’ and watch people ‘overtly acknowledge’ that this is ‘the single’ by ‘doing slinky dances’ to this song.

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Video: Wavves - No Hope Kids

Analysis: This video was made from ‘meaningful footage’ as a filmmaker bro followed Wavves across his European tour. Wonder if it was sort of like ‘Almost Famous’ with an indie musician. Not sure if there was a scoop. From what I have read, Wavves is ’shatted upon’ by other artists in his genre. Think that they think he is ‘faking his gimmick’ or something, while they ‘actually live the lifestyle.’ Think that this video is ’sweet’ because they do things like ’smoke bowls of marijuana.’ Hope that Wavves’ brand is still ‘marketable’ after this video/his ‘meltdown.’

Another great thing about this video is that it really captures the essence of ‘going to a concert in your local venue’ and feeling like the other members of the audience ’seriously crawled up from the sewer’ to ‘mosh around.’ Feels weird to go to ’sewer people’ shows, but also sort of ‘authentic.’

Are yall ‘going 2 get a summer Wavves haircut’?

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Video: Coconut Records - Any Fun

Analysis: It is important to note that ‘Chloe Sevigny is in this video’, thereby making this video 250% ‘more bloggable.’ It is overall a ‘krappy video.’ Think they have ‘old cameras’ and filmed ‘normal people’ doing ‘boring stuff’ while attempting to ‘make it look beautiful.’ Not sure if Chloe Sevigny is ’still hot.’ She might have to transition her personal brand into ‘being an elegant elder alt’ soon.

Feel like Jason Schwartzman could ‘make anything’ and it would ‘look kewl’ because he was in ‘one of the most important alt movies’ of all time.

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Video: MSTRKRFT - Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend)

Analysis: I never listend to MSTRKRFT’s latest album ‘Fist of God’ because I assumed that it was ‘all banger’ or something ‘thick and unlistenable.’ But then I saw them perform this song on Letterman, and thought it was ‘pretty good.’ Feel like I like it in the same way that I ‘enjoy a remix’ but this is ‘the original version.’ That statement possibly ‘does not make sense to 38% of readers’ who are not students of the remix economy. Think that the lyrics are ‘possibly terrible’ but still ‘redeeming’ in a ’simple way.’

I enjoy this video, because it is about a Mexi family who owns a bodega. A group of white bros come in, and 1 bro is ‘meaningfully attracted’ to the hot daughter cashier. Think it is supposed to give minorities hope that they too can be courted by an uppermiddle class alt guy who is ‘ironically’ buying alcohol at ur bodega since they ’serve minors’ and also ’serve all night.’ The lazy mexi father ‘falls asleep’ and when he wakes up, ‘verbally abuses’ his daughter for letting the bros ‘run wild’ while she ‘chases alt white cock.’ Not sure if she will get a college education.

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Video: All Leather - I Don’t Hate Fags, God Does

Analysis: Think this video is sort of supposed to ‘go viral’ some how. It is depicting Jesus ‘Last Supper’ except with dark, demented, rave-culture-like elements. It is supposed to ’shock you.’ When I saw it ‘I kinda chuckled’, and fast fowarded around. Saw a ‘bunny’ and also ’some people fucking.’ Then thought about ‘the kind of people who actually like that music.’ Feels weird to think that people ‘made’ that music. Ultimately, I would just say that this product is for ‘weird faggots’ like something that ‘Adam Lambert would think is cool’ or something.

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Video: Sonic Youth - Sacred Trickster

Analysis: This is a video about ‘female cunts who want to be in a band’, I think. I think it is supposed to be a straightforward metaphor about ‘dressing up’ to seem famous/relevant/indie/authentic, but possibly ‘being hollow’ and ‘constructed by consumer choices.’ Seems straightforward. Not sure about Sonic Youth. Think they were ‘good’ back in the 80s/90s or something, but wonder if they are ‘a 1 trick pony.’

Think I went through a phase of ‘listening to Sonic Youth’ but think it was back when I was ‘trying too hard to love alt music.’ They are possibly ‘just okay’ but ultimately a product that GenXers should probably ‘authentically enjoy.’ Don’t know much about ‘music’ so they are possibly ‘very influencial’ but think I am going to start ’saying that I don’t think Sonic Youth is very good’ in conversations just to have a ‘cutting edge’ opinion. Not sure if the song in this video is ‘even any good.’

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Have yall seen n e [HIGHLY BLGGBLE] Music videos lately?

I am so tired of shopping at malls/retail outlets/thrift stores that are ‘chains’/smelly thrift stores like ‘Goodwill.’ I just don’t want stuff that is branded, or stuff that is obvious. Now that Am Appy has ‘gone mainstream’, it’s just harder to express myself without seeming like I am wearing ’some cookie cutter outfit.’

Fortunately, I was able to attend an event called ‘a street sale.’ Basically, people from around the alt part of my town do something like a ‘clothing swap.’ We just put all of our stuff on the sidewalk, and we get to look around for ’shit that looks kewl.’ It was sort of like the ‘perfect economic model’ because we were able to buy, sell, and even trade goods+services to obtain the things we wanted. No need for debit cards. For example, I traded 4 hours worth of Photoshop designing for a really sweet pair of sunglasses. I sold a cute top for the opportunity to use some one’s Wii for 30 minutes with a group of friends.

I feel excited about ‘the scene.’ Think we’re coming closer together, understanding that we don’t need a mainstream economy to continue to thrive. If we just come together, and trade our goods+services, there really isn’t a thing alternative people need, except possibly from WholeFoods/Trader Joe’s.

Does ur community have any ‘community events’ in ur local community space?
Will ‘the alt community’ be able to secede from ‘the world’ in 2k12?
What goods + services would u barter?

Previous street sale coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/t-shirt-yard-sales-end-up-looking-like-alternative-shanty-towns.html

Unfortunately, many republicans have called for the AZN bro to be fired/executed. As u can see in the photograph, he is remorseful, and looking for @BarresObames to be ‘a bro’ in his time of need.

I am not sure if he deserves to be fired. I think that all young people in America below the age of 23 deserve to ‘express themselves’ freely on the internet. It’s part of living a healthy life. It doesn’t matter if your online presence is ‘out there’ or even ‘controversial.’ It doesn’t always mean ur the same on the internet as u r in real life. Wish ppl could understand that ‘disconnect.’ Wish they’d realize that ppl like the internet because u can seem ‘better than u actually are’ and also ‘bully people’ legally.

I think that in the past ‘old people’ have never been able to ‘get’ why young ppl talk 2 eachother all of the time, whether via internet or text message. Now that Barry Obama used ‘the internet’ 2 win an election, he ‘understands’ that young ppl need to ‘chill on the internet’ in order to ‘remain healthy.’ I am hoping that he lets this slide, and he can set a good example for all employers who fire ppl because they ‘posted something bad’ online.

Do yall think the AZN should be fired?
Should employers be allowed 2 ‘look at ur twitter/fb/myspace’?
Should I ‘deactivate all of my pages’ since I am looking for a job?
Is Obama a ‘dictator’?
Should we create ‘internment camps’ and ship AZNs to them, and only allow them to use xanga/other online tools that ‘basically only AZNs use’?
Should we ‘nuke the fuck out of’ Iran?

I was dreading our family vacation to Las Vegas, but then we ended up staying at this really kewl hotel. It was called ‘MGM Studios’ and there were a lot of young people who u could really relate 2 there. We all just love listening to hiphop, ‘laying out’, and drinking fruity drinks/domestic beers. The highlight of the trip had to be running into famous person LINDSAY LOHAN at the pool.

I tried to take my pic was her, but she was being ‘a total cunt’, so we just got into a lil pool behind her, and snapped her pix. Definitely uploaded that shit to FB. So many ppl are gonna comment.

Here’s a picture of me taking a picture of Lindsay with my digicam. Think she is posing to say that she ’sucked off’ MJ or something.

I don’t understand why Lindsay wouldn’t want to hang out with me, even though I dress like her, except + 30 lbs. I feel like we’d both have a lot in common, and we could really party together. Don’t understand why she didn’t want to talk to me, but then some weirdo looking ‘homeless hipster’ guy comes along and she acts like they are bffs.

N e ways…trip 2 Vegas was amazing, yall. Went to a lot of cool clubs, hooked up with 2 guys, had a 4some with my sister + 2 guys, and even ran into Lindz Lohan+took several pictures of her using the digital zoom on my digicam.

Even titled my facebook photo album ‘what happens in Vegas…’

I am not sure what sort of ‘bro’ this is, or if this is some sort of creature from an alternative underworld. I am ‘insanely confused’ by this creature’s anatomy–unable to tell what the creature is ‘all about.’ From what I can tell, this creature is made up of the following parts:

• part ‘ghey’
• part ‘male’
• part ‘female’
• part ‘ram’/'billy goat’

He seems like he might be a ‘local celebrity’ in a thriving ‘homosexual/transgendered’ community. Possibly he is a ‘party kid’ like the now deceased Michael Alig, best known from the movie ‘The Party Monsters’ as a bro who ‘chopped up another bro’, even though they both just ‘wanted 2 partie and get fucked up.’

I am not sure where the whole ‘party scene’ is going. I think that maybe ‘dancing’ might be dying again, especially now that MJ is dead. Seems like a great time for conceptual core music/fuzz-blog-post-wave to ‘emerge’ as the most listened to music of the next era. Remember ‘the electro jungle’ gimmick?

Not sure if this creature is supposed to be ‘friendly’ or perhaps some sort of ‘predator’ who kills mnstrms when they try to party. Think he might be about ‘murder’ and ‘beauty’ since he has a gun + blowdryer tatty set. Might be ‘a think piece’ who just wants u 2 question ur own humanity/beastialitie. Wonder what my ‘tranny-power-animal’ would be [via the Fight Clubs].

Please feel free to look at a picture of a ‘white peen covered in black paint’ at this location. Think it might be a metaphor for ‘wanting a larger shaft.’