Have no idea what 2k10 will be like… Feeling nervous/anxious… Might need some sort of anti-depressant.

Will Steve Aoki still be relevant?

Photo via every1 is famous

Maybe Steve Aoki will be a good ‘ironic’ costume in the year 2k26.

Photo via dirtypreston

I am not sure if it will still be authentic to be a DJ for Halloween in 2k10, since DJ+Electro culture may or may not be dead.

I still feel like M.I.A. deserves tons of alt points for her concept, craftsmanship, timeliness, and execution.

Photo via cobrasnake

Empire of the Sun bros seem like they also deserve ‘mad props’ for their dedication to ‘the Aussie scene.’

Maybe I should just go 2 Halloween as ‘the fat Jonas Brother.’

Photo via whoopthis

I feel excited about Halloween 2k10, but I just don’t rlly know who I should commit to.
Will Animal Collective still be buzzworthy in 2k10?
Will the Neon Indian Bro be a bigger alt Celeb in 1 year?
Will Washed Out have a more developed personal brand?
Will Girl Talk still be ‘relevant’?
Will MGMT ever ‘come back’?
Is it still alt for mainstreamers to like Of Montreal?
Will Grizzly Bear’s next album ‘chart’ at #1?
Is it still ‘alt’ 2 say that Phoenix is ‘good’/'catchy’?
Is Owl City ‘the new alt’?
What is the ‘best album’ of 2k9?
What is the ‘best mp3′ of 2k9?
What will happen when twitter dies?
What will happen when minorities stop using myspace?
Will I get a job after I graduate?
Is it cost effective to go to live shows/music festivals, or 2 just check the internet 3x per day?
R u worried abt the indie apocalypse?
What new genres will emerge in 2k10?
What genres will die in 2k10?
(Am I gonna die? Or will scientists discover a way 2 live 4ever soon?)
Is Obama gonna get re-elected?
Will Panda Bear release an album that makes it clear that he is both the ‘John Lennon AND Paul McCartney’ of Animal Collective?
What mediocre ‘buzzbands’ will emerge in 2k10 that major alt sites grant an unwarranted shelf life?
Does n e 1 know some bloggable music that has been released since the Chillwave Era?
Will the indie blogosphere be ‘dormant’ until an established indie band (Vampire Weekend/Arcade Fire) releases an early 2k10 album that every1 can ‘talk about’ again?
What popular blog will ‘die’ in 2k10?

…nervous abt the future….

Please use the comments section to ‘reflect’ on 2k9, and forecast what the year 2k10 will be like.

It seems like every bro wanted to be dryhumping bro.  Sorta like a male figure who ’she belonged to’, both physically and emotionally.

I decided to ‘dig a little bit deeper’ [via journalism] and found a video of her ‘nipslipping around’ on stage while the popular bloghouse banger DJ duo ‘Crookers’ played. She seems fun, like an ‘exhibitionist.’

Really missing 2k6.5 right now. I feel like this woman is the last memory I will have of ‘electro culture.’ She is sorta like the final ‘candle in the wind’ of the spirit of electro.

Really miss the days when it was authentic to ‘flash ur titties all over the place.’ Miss u electro era. Feel like I wrote this post with the now defunct 2k7 Carles voice.

Do yall miss the electro era?
Will California always have a relevant electro scene?
Have u ever seen titties flash at an AnCo show?
Does the XX broad have the perfect alternative breasts?
Do u think this woman is a ’safety hazard’ and could potentially be ‘groped to death‘ if the bangers were hard enough?
R u an ‘exhibitionist’?

Do u remember the search 4 the perfect alternative breasts?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/perfect-alternative-breasts

I was walking through Brooklyn on Halloween nite when I stumbled past these 3 authentic children, all dressed as relevant architectural landmarks. I had to do a google image search since I ‘recognized that the buildings were relevant’ but didn’t know their names. Turns out that they are the Guggenheim, the New Museum, and the Whitney.  All of the children seem happy, knowing that they are ‘way smarter’/generally ‘better’ than most regular kidz and their boring-ass costumes.  Sorta feel sad looking at the lil grim reaper bro in the background.

I am not sure if these costumes are authentic, or if they are kinda like when a ‘parent completes a school project for their kid.’  The kids seem ‘pumped’, but not sure if all kids love architecture.  Wonder if the parents are ‘projecting their own interests/profession’ on their kids…but it seems likely that these kids are just more culturally aware than I will ever be.

It seems like it took me 17-26 years to cultivate my cultural-connectedness to all things alt/kewl/relevant. It seems unfair that these kids have parents who can train them to be relevant at a young age.  I wonder how I coulda turned out with ‘proper guidance’ instead of just existing in suburbia, and eventually ‘raging against’ suburban consumer identities.  Feeling insecure, like these kids have more insightful opinions on the world than me, and I am just sorta pretending to be ‘me.’

I feel like I missed out on a lot in life.  My parents used to drive me to public school in their ‘gas guzzler’, but some kids have it totally different.   Some kids grow up using public transportation in a meaningful way. When I lived in suburbia, I always ‘made fun of the poors’ utilizing public transportation.

Wish my parents cared more about making me a bloggable internet photo, instead of ‘dressing me up in some lame costume that they purchased at Wal Mart’/utillizing their limited artistic skills to draw a skeleton on my face.  Feeling ashamed and then feeling guilty for feeling ashamed.

I feel like I possibly ‘fucking h8′/’resent the fuck out of’ my parents for not creating a meaningful-enough childhood for me (on a global scale). I understand that there are pure moments which I will hold near and dear to my heart…but I can’t help but feel incredibly sad right now, looking at these kids living a life that I deserved.  Seeing these parents giving their kids the life that I think my parents deserved to give me.  I wish I could some how make them understand.

Do u ever wish that ur parents were ‘more than they are’ for ur own sake? Do u wish they were famous/snark bloggers/local celebrities? Sometimes I feel relieved that my parents aren’t ‘too snarky’/'too cultured’ because it brings me back down to earth when I come home from college, but then I wonder how my life coulda been different if an adult-version of me raised me. 

Coulda…shoulda…woulda…
Guess that’s life.

I’m gonna do a lot of things different when I raise a kid.

Tell me abt ur childhood.
What did u get from it?
What do u want from life now?
Do alt parents yield mainstream kids?
Do relevant parents raise ’snooty’ kids?
Should u give ur kids a mainstream childhood so they can choose to seek alternative authenticity on their own?
How do u raise a child so that he or she can discover their interests on their own?
At what age can ppl truly ‘get’ architecture? (age 34?)

These are the alt-est costumes of 2k9. Which 1 should win the most ‘indie pitchfork points’ for being creative/original/relevant?

Banger-era masked DJs.

Daft Punk bro costume.

Justice lesbians.

Justice Xavier DeRosnay Rentacop.

PoliceBro of Justice #2.

Pregnant M.I.A.

Zany bro from the Office


Continue reading 4 more zany alt costumes…
Where the Wild Alt Bro

Mel Gibson on a Jew Killing Spree.

A metaphorical ‘golden calf.’

The buzzband ‘The XX’ (slutified remix)

Mario and Luigi (supersize yall)

Have an AZN build u a transformer costume that ‘actually transforms.’

2 Google employees looking for some huge titties 2 marry.

Contestant on ‘The Biggest Loser’

Photos by lastnightsparty

The Lady Gaga.

A ‘liberated’ homosexual feeling ‘comfy in drag [via Nautica]‘

Broccoli Bro

A slice of pizza [via pizza alt]

A group of banana bros.

Snarky Alt Comedian David Cross

A ‘zombie flasher’

Photo via sbtvc

Frida Kahlo and Salvador Dali

The Chromeo Bro as ’some sort of gansta’

A cum dumpster.

A resident of Seattle in the post-Kurt Cobain era.

Hunter S Thompson bein all gonzo

The Host of ‘Reading Rainbow’

Mickey Rourke

Tao Lin and Bebe

Photo via ronysphotobooth

A bro dry humping The XX broad

Nappy Dynamite (miss u)

Amelia Earhart if she shopped at Hot Topic

A commenter

John Lennon and a failed AZN

A baby juggalo.

Carles

Photo via Nick McGlynn

What was ur fave costume of 2k9?
When is it time 2 ‘grow up’ and ’stop playing dress up’?
Was this the last Halloween of my life?

//Photo credits
Lastnightsparty//thecobrasnake.com//Streetboners&TVcarnage///theArabParrot//ronysphotobooth//Nick McGlynn

Last Year’s Halloween Post
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/the-best-halloween-costumes-of-2k8.html

Swoopy Bangs.
Plaid. Stripes. V-necks.
Sunglasses.
Scarves.
Jeans of every colour/texture/style.
Lil jackets.
Remnants of the electro era mixed with an overall vibe of the purgatoryAlt.
Angry Mulatto Men in the Background.

I remember when I made a pie chart that attempting to break down the Altino Tribe of Humans.

I am not sure if 3rd World Alts/Mexicalts/Altinos/Latin Americalts are ‘growing up’ and catching on to new trends, or if they are sort of stuck with a tween-like perception of the alternative aesthetic. Wonder if the Altino in 10 years will look like the altbro circa 2k7.

Sometimes I sorta take for granted the mainstreamification of alternative trends. Like I never even take the time 2 genuinely appreciate it any more. The way I used to dress 1-20 years ago is being implemented by tweens and forever-young-post-tweens.

I made this graph in 2k8. How do yall think it has changed in the past year?

Just so weird how the 3rd worlders are such laggards when it comes to trend adoption. Do u know if they have Macbooks in those countries?
Worried about 2k10. What if I become a ‘laggard’ and some new form of human/blog/RSS feed is able to consume trends faster than me?
What if the chillwave genre was the last great moment where alts ‘chewed up and spat out’ a trend in record time? #the_glofi_movement
What if chillwave was just a ‘consumer trend’ and not an actual ‘movement’?

worried abt 2012…

Previous Mexicalt Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/the-crowning-achievement-of-mexicaltsaltinos.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/part-of-the-altino-nvr-dies.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/all-i-ever-wanted-was-a-mexicalt-with-a-progressive-pokemon-haircut.html

As yall know, I am about to graduate high school, and I missed most of the design school application deadlines/I am ‘too suburban’ to even know what ‘design’ is yet, and that u can buy a Macbook and go 2 college in a meaningful city to learn abt it. I don’t wanna go to normal college, learning the same bullshit over and over… I have always been more of a creative spirit, making all A’s in my art + photography classes, and sometimes even creating meaningful lil projects in my own time. I have always had a strong interest in how I look, and I have always found a way to put together sweet Halloween costumes. Maybe I should go to Hair & Makeup College?

I really want to learn something that will help me help other people in ways that people don’t usually appreciate. I believe that if I can make a man or woman feel better about himself/herself through something as simple as a haircut or ‘makeover’, then maybe I did a lil bit of good in the world. I know that some of the best highs I have experienced in life happen when I look in the mirror, and I ‘look as interesting/relevant as a famous person.’ I might never be a real famous person, but I think I can put myself in a position to be around them, and have them ‘vent’ about their personal problems 2 me.

It’s kinda weird how an artist can have so many different sets of tools.  Just so many different types of art… I’d rather have this kind of artistic job instead of a desk job.  Those people are fucking trapped in their shitty lives’.

I feel like I really ‘understand’ how hair works, since I have been a bisexual emo tween since age 10, often using cutting-edge techniques to achieve some of the world’s most alt haircuts. I have use extensions, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, sun in, razor blades, miscellaneous clipper technology, and even human placenta.

(Sometimes u have to think outside the box to bring ur ideas 2 life.)

I have a 10 year plan. I understand that I will have to ‘pay my dues’ and probably work at a hair salon in the mall for a few years. I think I will save a lot of money, living in an apartment complex within walking distance of the mall, and saving money utilizing the mall employee discount to buy mall pizza, mall pretzels, mall Chinese food, and mall dippin dots/assorted gimmick frozen treats.

I just wanna get a lot of practice on normal people before I work with important + famous people/models. I wouldn’t feel bad ‘butchering the fuck’ out of some overweight wannabe-scene girl’s head.

(I understand that I will sometimes have to ‘make the customer happy’ and abandon my own design aesthetic.)

By year 3, I will try to get on some sort of reality show on Bravo. I honestly believe I can model myself after some of the best reality show characters of all time, in order to ‘make a splash’ on the scene.

I am also talented, too, but I understand that in order to ‘work with famous people’, they must ‘remember me’ as being some sort of free-spirited homosexual character from a notable reality tv show.

It’s just really important to create your own magnificent brand before you pitch your reality show to miscellaneous networks (Bravo, LOGO, Lifetime, MTV2, etc)

I really believe that 1 day I can change the world, and make tons of money. I believe in my design ideas, and that I can paint/chop beautiful shit on human women.

But maybe I am getting ahead of myself. I am just a tween with a dream.

I wonder if the world would be a better place if every1 looked like me.

I wonder if college is ‘bullshit’, and I could just learn how to do hair by watching tons of youtube tutorials on ‘how I do my scene hair & makeup.’

But my parents really want me to ‘go to college’, They say I will have to live at home and get a part time job, since classes are only 2x per week, but I think it will be worth it for my long term happiness. So maybe I should just go to a Hair + Makeup Academy, and meet people who are like me. People who have the same dream as me. Worried + anxious that they might be ‘better than me’, though. Seems like it could be ‘high school all over again’, if every day ppl just try their best to out-look u.

I can’t be scared. I have to follow my dreams.

I want to add a lil bit of colour 2 ur life.

Wish the whole world could look interesting.

I honestly believe 1 day men and women will merge into 1 human.

Want to bond with my classmates, and pull all-niters studying/practicing for our final exams (just like real college).

Maybe I could even save the Middle East by teaching them that their hair is a beautiful thing and they shouldn’t have to cover their shit up any more.  Feel like every1 deserves the right to ‘feel sexie.’

I want to change the world.
I want to go to a Hair + Makeup Academy.
I want a real education.

Do u know any1 that went to a hair/makeup college?
Does n e 1 know what ppl who go to these schools end up doing?
What is the current economic forecast for hair stylists + makeup artists?
Will I ‘make it’ in ‘the industry’ if I have a flamboyant personal brand?

Previous AltJob coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/what-is-the-most-authentic-alt-job.html

I like stuff that’s funny cuz it’s true. Whenever I watch hipster-mockumentameme vids, I can’t help but LOL-out-loud, because I totes know all of the characters already, since they mirror real members of my alternative scene. It’s kinda weird how ‘vapid’ culture is, yall… h8 it/luv it/’get’ it. Just relieved that I am me living in our bad ass society.  I mean… it has it’s ups and downs…but I am generally happy with where we are.

Sorta miss the golden era of the Viral Vid Hipster movement. I decided to re-watch the Hipster Olympics, and reflect on the massive impact it had on ‘the scene.’ I believe the most powerful art is free-online art, because tons of ppl can see it and share it with all of their friends [via their facebook pages].

Seems like some new ‘hipster’ videos come out, and ‘exist under the radar’, but it makes me wonder just how viral they could have gone if they were made during The Golden Age.  They seem to each have their own unique take on things.

Sorta miss ‘Hipsters in Space.’ I hope that the youtube servers exist forever. One day, all blogs will die, and humans won’t be able to read text any more. As the youtube generation continues to mature without reading and writing skills, the only historical artifacts left will be vlogs, videos, and viral videos.

Technology is rlly something to awe at [via being awesome]. So many artists can make beautiful with a limited budget, beyond the Macbook their parents bought 4 them and the HD video camera that they waited tables 2 obtain. It’s great 2 be able to ‘reflect on culture’ so instantaneously at such a low cost. I feel like I am honestly living in the most special era of all time, like every war that was fought for freedom was just so that I could exist right now. I am thankful.

Are youtubes more powerful than real movies?
Is it still alt 2 ‘make fun of hipsters’?
What is the best web method 2 utilize 2 ‘make fun of hipsters’? Meme blog? Tumblr? Video? Vimeo? Tweet?
What is the ‘most authentic’ ‘making fun of hipsters’ video of all time?
WTF is a ‘hipster’?
Does n e 1 know if hipsters are ‘the dead end’ of ‘Western Civilization’?
What’s ‘next’ after ‘hipsters’, or will ‘hipsters’ exist 4evr? Will the spirit of ‘alt’ live on forever?
Should I start a blog, a youtube channel, or a vimeo channel?

It seems like u can get a really good deal on the Tootsie Roll variety bag, but I’m not sure if kids like that kind of candy. I feel like this variety bag lets people know that ur poor, and trick or treaters don’t matter 2 u.

Might try to ‘look like a baller’ and hand out full-size candy bars.  Since I live in a neighborhood with multi-million dollar homes, we might be expected to hand this shit out.

‘Fun size’ seem good in theory, but I think people eat 5-10 fun size bars at a time, then don’t really have a ‘fun’ experience with the candy brand.  Seems like people feel ‘guilty’ then grab their love handles.

Do yall know if it is still alt 2 hand out apples with razors in them?

Might participate in my local dentist office’s candy-buyback program. Seems like a great community initiative 2 decrease cavities in our local community.

Does n e1 know what I should be for Halloween?
Does n e1 know a good candy 2 hand out without ruining ur brand?
Does n e 1 know which candy won’t make u look like a poor/cheap ass hole?
What r u gonna be/do 4 Halloween?
Do yall ever wish Halloween lasted all year so that u could pretend 2 b some1 else 4ever?

What r u doing 2nite?

I am the lil alt. The mini alt. The lil-est alt.
Learned how to be alt at a young age
with the help of my older sister
I am young, with my entire life ahead of me
many years to evolve into the perfect personal brand
but today I am young
I am alt
I am small
but my heart is strong
I am sure of myself

The kids at school do not ‘get’ me
But I have learned that is a good thing
I am oblivious to the tween sensations that mnstrm kidz are in2
(had to google ‘Kanyegate’)
I am literally the youngest person in the world to genuinely appreciate The Dirty Projectors

I will start a mp3 blog 4 kids by kids
carrying the alternative torch to make the kids scene
a lot better 4 every1
There’s just so much more to the world than Disney bullshit

I am proud.

One day I will be an old man
on my death bed
looking back on the life that I had
so many missed connections and casual encounters
I will look back on my youth
and smile

A large grin for my alternative innerchild.
I am the lil alt
The embodiment of the alternative spirit.

(miss u. say hi 2 Heath 4 me in meme heaven)

U cannot put out
the flame
of the alternative fire
in a tru alt.

So much alt in such a lil alt.

///learning how 2 blog again….
-crls

Hey St Vincent. I’m sitting here sprung out watching ‘You Dig a Pony’ meanwhile I just want to be digging your pony. I think you’re sexy as hell. I’ve been stalking you since back when you were just an mp3 blogger meme, back in 2006. But I saw your potential, and here we are almost four years later, rich and famous. And I’m just so proud. I see you wearing those black tights all the time underneath your skirts and shorts, and to me, that just make a nigga go buck wild. The locks of your hair curl to perfection. You got a slammin bod and my dick raise up like a scissor kick when you hit the high note. But all I wanna know is, can you shred on your guitar like that bent over? I like that you sing in two microphones, because then it’s like there’s two of you, and I always wished that God made two of you so that I could fuck you while you lick my ass. Your lips are sexy red and I want to rub the large space in between your eyes. I’m best friends with Grizzly Bear, and I just want all of us to be friends in Brooklyn, and maybe live in your house and sleep in your bed. And I hope that when you watch this vid, you fall in love with me, because when I turn my swagger on, no one got it like this, and I be in your mother fucking dreams tonight. Thank you for watching my youtube, St. Vincent. Thank you for your music. And I love you.

I think many people would probably find this video to be ’sick’, ‘troublesome’, and miscellaneous feelings that would put them ‘above this type of cheap ploy for attention.’ But it’s important to talk about how altbros, indie bros, and music criticism middle aged bros view females in the alternative music scene. If we can assume that men are the driving force behind indie buzz, indie record sales, the indie media, and altEverything, then how do we fairly assess women’s role in ‘the whole scene.’ It seems like in this open love letter to St. Vincent, the youtubeBro gave us a valuable insight into the true desires of all bros who are alt/indie/etc.

This is what alternative males want:

• We to be loved.
• We want to be relevant.
• We want to ‘bang’ bitches in ‘mad crazy’ positions
• We want to live a perfect life in a relevant city
• We want to be bffs with bands
• We want to follow bands/artists and watch them grow and attribute their success to ourselves for being on the forefront of relevancy.
• We want ‘the most respected female’ in the indie scene to be our gf [via the altbaguette theory]

How does indie bro obsession impact the indiesphere?

Will an ugly/not cute girl ever ‘make it’ as an indie artist? It seems like indie bros who ’shape’ the indie world will always have trouble evaluating female artists. I think the first thing men look at is ‘how attractive is the female.’ That seems to be ‘the most important element’ when evaluating a woman in any profession (strippers, actresses, accountants, secretaries, etc).

I think it is also important for indie females to ’seem like they are real musicians.’ This can be accomplished by either displaying a relatively high level of ‘musicianship’, or even just by ‘appearing to take themselves seriously.’ Many say that behind every great woman is a great man, so even if a ’skilled male producer’ creates mad beats, the female band member/lead singer still has a very important task in terms of branding the live performance with the level of ‘into-it-ness’ of her presence.

Whenever I see coverage of an indie starlet, I imagine some music criticism bro wild a mildly erect penis while writing a blurb. In a short blurb, the music critic bro can project his feelings/hopes/dreams/desires. He can mention that the female artist is ‘hot’ but also say something that clearly indicates ‘we need to take her seriously.’ All blurbs about female artists by men are unintentional manifestos in which we ’search 4 a sexual identity.’ I wrote this post to ‘come to terms’ with my homosexuality/heterosexuality/bisexuality/pansexuality/indiesexuality.

I feel like I am in search of ‘the perfect alt woman’, and I can’t help but entirely identify with the St. Vincent Love Letter Vlog.  I want 2 be loved, have krazie sex, and also have an authentic life.  I am not sure if I like listening to music by women, but I feel like I will watch them if they are ‘hot.’  It seems impossible for men to ‘actually like’ music by women, since many of the lyrical themes are coming from the ‘fucking dreamworld’ that exists inside of a girl’s head.

Wonder if I would consider living my perfect life with the Dirty Projector altbaguettes.

Even the Zany SNL video meme bro got ‘roped in’ by the prospects of a ‘perfect alt life’ with Joanna Newsom.

How do yall think that the horniness of men impacts the critical acceptance of women? Can indie bros ‘put aside their desire 2 mate’ when evaluating females in music? Will an ‘ugly woman’ ever be very successful at anything, or does society naturally ’select out’ the uggos? Should we segregate the indiesphere by gender? Should there be a ‘pitchfork4Girls’ instead of reading men evaluating women?

Does some sort of subconscious sexual desire impact the acceptance of all females?  Is the indiesphere an ‘equal opportunity’ hype machine?

Maybe indie bros are bisexuals. Maybe we do evaluate everything fairly. Maybe we just need to ‘learn 2 love’ regardless of (sexual) gender and (musical) genre.

Maybe we all need 2 take a lil ride on the chillwave…

How do the sexual desires of men impact the indie perception bubble/the Western World/the Middle East?
When u watch a female artist, what do u expect from her?
Are chick flicks/romantic comedies and indie-ish female musicians some sort of marketing gimmick to exploit the infamous ‘female’ demographic of humans?
If u like a band with a male lead singer, are u ‘kinda ghey’?
Do women like male singers because they want to ‘make love’ to them/get swept off their feet into a rock n roll lifestyle?
Is it realistic for men to identify with themes in music made by females?
Will men ever see women as ‘anything more than a fuck doll’?