Selena Gomez has the FIRMEST, TIGHTEST booty butt in the world!
Pull out the wedgie, bb!
That honestly reminds me of me, except recently I've had to start wearing adult diapers. Due to my weight problem, I am no longer able to control my bowels. I uncontrollably poo and pee any time of the day, which is very sad. It'll be so awkward when the room begins to smell, and I'll know that I have another surprise to clean up. Adults diapers ride up my ass, so I DEFANATELY know how u feel, Selena bb.
Ur SO STRONG to have moved on from Justin. I am proud of u for not gaining any weight, bc when a guy breaks up with me, I can't help but eat bags and bags of Totino's Pizza Rolls. They are just like a lil pizza exploding in ur mouth. I honestly become addicted to them. I don't know why Pizza Hut doesn't sell them bc that would be my #kryptonite
Ur a BEAUTAFUL singer, actress, and celeb.
We should do dinner soon and talk about how to keep wedgies out of our butts. But of course, ur butt is way smaller than mine. I can hardly squeeze into the booth at McDonalds any more. :-( Maybe I need to start eating #SaladShakers #Ranch #diet #lifestyle #fitness
Follow me on instagram if ur reading this Selena I just 'liked' ur last photo.
Lana BB! Is that u @ Target? (I call it Tar-gzay bc it is much fancier than WalMart).
I think that Target is right by my apartment! I actually used to work there. Well, I actually just wore a red shirt and walked around helping ppl because I thought if I did a good enough job, they would hire me. It is very hard to get a job when you are arrested bc ur stupid exBF turned ur apartment into a meth lab. It honestly stays on your record what feels like FOREVER (30 years).
I love shopping at Target, except it is a lil bit pricey 4 me. It honestly sucks to shop at WalMart, but at least they make good clothes for great big Fatty McFatFats like me. Most of their clothes come with a very COMFY and FUNCTIONAL elastic waistband. It honestly helps me be more #active and #fit.
The truth is, no 1 will EVER love me when I'm no longer young and beautaful because I never really was beautaful when I was young. I honestly think I have an undiagnosed thyroid problem that allows me to retain lots of water weight. It makes me sad 2 think that I was born 2 die, tho. <3 #ThankULana
BBy! I need a fan too! I live in an apt without air conditioner. My landlord said he would get me a window unit, but he is a LIAR. I honestly sweat me ASS OFF, but at the same time, I think it helps me loose weight. In a way, my house is sorta like a #sauna. #VIP #jetsetter #rich #famous #fancie
But I srsly have a question 4 u. Do u know what I'm supposed 2 do if I have SUMMERTIME SADNESS all year long? #Depressed
U look good LDR BB! Gaga who? #teamlana
Kitty Perry who? #TeamLDR I'm gonna hear U roar, LanaBB!
Let's meetup at Target sometime. They have Pizza Hut there. #yum
Kim BB! How've u been? I LOVe LOVE LOOOOVE the sideb00b and the #b00tie.
Babie Weight who? #TeamDiet
I wish we'd hang out sometime so u could tell me how u lost ur baby weight. I honestly havent evn had a babie, but I still need to lose lots of weight. I know u DEF have the secrets.
Do u think I should stop eating Little Caesar's Hot N Readies? But they are SO yummie!
I honestly wish nothing but the best 4 u and Kanye. He is my FAVE rapper and my DREAM MAN. U r lucky that u got to make a baby with him. The last time I made a baby with a man, he pushed me down the stairs #diy_aborsh
It was honestly a sad time in my life, but I know that I can share in ur joy 4 North West.
Ur babie is DEFANATELY gonna be a Hottie McHotHot just like u!
My butt is as big as urs, except I am huge and it is flat and not attractive and no one is interested in seeing it.
I've never let a man see me in the nude. I make him turn off the lights. #emberrsed
let me know if ur family is hiring a house maid because i got fired. okay ttyl bye Kim
Miley BB!! Ur new video for 'Wrecking Ball' is totally #SO_TURNT_UP!
Honestly every1 is talking shit about you but I think you know, but i am still honestly on #TeamMiley. They are HATING on u about the VMAs, but I honestly think that that was the best performance in VMA history, and I've been watching all 40 years of it. U have an AMAZING core. Have u been doing zumba, bb? I definitely need to get #toned. #Crossfit.
I think it is BEUATAFILL that you find a way to show off ur SIDEBOOB and ur UNDERBOOB at the same time. I need to get a tattoo soon too to #expressmyself but last time I got one the artist used a heated up clotheshanger and I got Hep C. :-(
I honestly believe ur body is a temple, and I honestly worship ur body. If I had that #BANGIN_BOD, I would def be at the pool at my apt complex every day bc guys would offer me so many Bud Light Lima-A-Ritas. Right now I have to buy my own and I love lovE LOVE getting buzzed on them, but I am so hungover the next day. Dr. Oz says its cuz of the shoogar, but I really need to start a better way of life. #mixology
Kewt CheeChees, bb!
At the end of the day, ur body still looks amazing. Ur chee chees are in GREAT shape. I honestly wish I had shown mine off more at your age. THese days, they are floppier than pancakes in an iHop dumpster.
I think it is so sexi that u lick cold, hard steel. Whenever a man is around me, it is usually soft, floppy goo. (His penis, that is). What can I say, I'm a pleaser. I'll still suck on it and luck it, but it is just as worthless as a piece of Bubble Yum
I really wish I had a better body like Miley so that more men would lay it down on me, but also, cuddle with me.
All of the people saying miley is a SLUT need to back off. I think it is bauteaful that she has #DISCOVERED her body and #SEXUALITY.
U look good, bb!
and that's all that matters.
Trust me, as some one who LOOKS RLLY BAD, bb! :-(
Please tweet at me if you see this Miley.
Help me. Please.
Pharrell BB! U r ToTaLLy up ALL nite 2 get lucky!
I see ur fiance's NIP SLIP! U really got lucky seeing a b00b! U look HAPPIE and HORNIE abt it, bb!
I love ur new song with the robots! Those two robots are HOT. It is kinda true that technology is kinda taking over because I haven't made love to a man in years--i have only been able to use my lil rabbit vibrator that I bought at #SpencersGifts. I need new batteries soon, but I am also scared of the rise of the machines. But at the same time machines will never steal all of ur money, use ur kitchen as a meth lab or force u to live in a basement for 6 years.
But u know what? I was actually happy when I was trapped in a basement with 3 other women for 6 years. We were REALLY good friends, but I missed the POP CULTURE.
LOVIN the new GET LUCKY song, PharellBB! It sounds JUST like the music that I listened to when I was in my 20s. I can't believe how old I'm getting, but at the same time, I have a lot of wisdom from lots of heartbreak and painful shit that makes me who I am. But at the same time, I sorta suck at life. I wish I was Pharrels fiance! She looks SeXi and EtHnIc!
U rlly GOT LUCKY bb!
That's honestly a cute nip, tho! I wish mine weren't such ginormous saucers. Its emberresing. I wonder if they have nipple reduction surgery. #ashamed
Maybe u got NIPPY!
Rkelly who? #TeamPherrell
Chad Hugo who? #TeamPharrell
Slip who? #TeamNip
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