Pizza Alts: The Next AltBro? | Hipster Runoff

Pizza Alts: The Next AltBro?

[Photos by The Friend Attack]

I h8 how some schools don't teach kids about evolution. Humans used to be monkeys/apes/orangutangies/chimpanzees/guerillas/gorillas. It's a fact that we all have to admit. We are constantly evolving because the world around us is changing. For example, brown people have browner skin bc they used to live where there was a lot of sun. White people's skin turned white cuz they were cold a lot and then they got kinda chilly. Birds are also lil dinosaurs (according to Jeff Goldblum in Jurrassic Park).

Humans aren't the only things that can evolve. Personal brands and collective group brands can evolve. For example, the altBro personal brand might evolve into PIZZABROS/PizzaAlts. Ever since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles branded pizza as being 'fun', experts have been quietly waiting for us to turn into pizza.

'U r what U eat.'
-Albie "Uffie" Einstein

Will DJ Duos evolve into 2DJs+1SliceOfPizza? (2ManyPizzas)

Was this a viral marketing campaign by a local pizza parlor?

Will Stephen Aoki turn in2 a piece of pizza?
What toppings will he have?
Will u eat him or put him in the fridge and eat him 4 breakfast the next day?
Will u dip him in ranch dressing or Papa John's Garlic butter sauce?
If all humans evolve into pizza, will the human race be an 'all u can eat buffet'?
If aliens land on Earth to consume our natural resources, will they still eat us if we turn in2 pizza?
If I plug my iPod earbuds into a slice of pizza, what type of music will come out?
Is pizza the future of elektro?
During our financial crisis, should I exchange all of the money in the 'safe jar' underneath my bed into Pizza Hut Pizza + breadsticks?
Will Papa Johns win the Pizza War?
Is the Electro War just a 'gateway war' to the Pizza Wars?
Does Justice eat Pizza?
Will Crystie Castie give away pizza with their next CD to increase sales?
Will the HypeMachine start aggregating pizza instead of mp3s?
Will Girl Talk name a track on his next web EP "Pizza Mashup Yall"?
Should I change my blog to a blog about pizza?

"Pizza, Pizza."
-Little Caesar

Kinda weird how lil Caesar was right.