Feel like reflecting on 2k9, even though there is still half a year left.
How will u remember 2k9?

• Animal Collective taught us how to ‘excessively anticipate’ an album.
• Grizzly Bear taught us how to ‘ascend’ into a ‘respected maltstream band’ even though ppl just want to ‘evaluate u’ against the other ‘top band’ of the year.
• Neon Indian/VEGA taught us how 2 ‘manipulate the internet’ until u have some how ‘invaded’ major blogs+webzines to seem just as ‘real’ as pre-existing ‘relevant’ bands.
• Major Lazer taught us how to create an ‘interesting’/'ethnic’ product with a strong marketing team
• Dirty Projectors taught us how to be an nyc hi-end buzzband that people feel pressured to ‘enjoy/appreciate’ or else they will seem ‘uncultured’
• Here We Go Magic taught us how 2 be a pretty ’simple’ conceptual band but still achieve a ‘relevant level of success’ that will be sustainable for ‘a long time’
• Passion Pit taught us how to make music that falls between ‘conceptual’ and ‘electro’ genres, appealing to the mass market of ‘indie simpletons’ [very lucrative]
• Phoenix taught us how to become ‘more widely accepted’ even though their product has been the same for the past 10 years, instead of just ‘fading away’ and becoming insignificant.
• St. Vincent taught us how to be a girl, look keut, sound complex, and appeal to the middle aged critic bros
• Atlas Sound will teach us how to ‘collab with other relevant artists’ so ur band is 180% more blggbl
• Classixx taught us how to ‘rise’ to be the most ‘relevant’ remixer of the year
• Crystal Castles will continue teaching us how 2 utilize ‘negative press’ to stay ‘in the headlines’
• WAVVES taught us how 2 ‘not give a shit’ abt anything, even ur alternative career.
• ‘Conceptualcore’ music taught us that ppl are just looking for shit that sounds ‘new/different’, and will go 2 great xtremes 2 justify what is ‘good/relevant.’
• The now defunct chillwave era taught us how alternative websites need a ‘bloggable topic/scene’ to emerge as a coverable topic that unifies a 2-4 month span that can represent ‘progression’ of the indie scene/musicians/the power of ‘the internet’ 2 help promote ‘good music.

Seems like we should be ‘most ashamed’ of how internet users/indie music fans handled the Animal Collective release. I think it will take a year to sort of ‘forget’ how ‘we’ handled that 1. Just really ‘overthought’ the entire year. Seems like we were looking for something that sounded like AnCo, but also something that didn’t sound like AnCo. Feel like we are confused. Not sure what I like. Can’t even remember what pure electro sounds like [via 2k7].

2k10 will probably be ‘boring.’ We will not trust buzzbands and we will not trust ‘internet blog p4k buzz’, sort of resenting new bands. We will not consider new anonymous chill-electro-lofi projects to be ‘worthy’ of our attention, because they will probably be ‘just another meme’/producer with 1.5 ‘good songs’ that u can throw into a falsified ‘genre/movement.’ Seems like in 2k10, we will have learned to have a ‘backlash’ against an entire era, instead of just an individual band.

Seems like 2k9 might be over.
Goodnite 2k9.

What will u remember about the ‘now defunct’ year 2k9?
Will 2k10 be the worst year in the history of indie music?

2k9 may or may not be all about ‘getting back 2 basics’ 2 find out that ‘we are all the same’ from a biological/anatomical perspective because we don’t want 2 seem like ‘care about’ ‘material things’ like fashion/trends/social status.

My other Rebranding option is getting a tattoo of all of the things I own on my body.

[via wemadeoutonce]
I think the task of tattooing all of my personal belongings on to my body might be tedious. For example, will I still be using a Macbook in 1-10 years? Will I still have my Blackberry Razr? Will I still be ordering pizza from Papa Johns? Will my TV only be a 104 inch flat screen in 2k40? I need 2 figure out how long I plan on being alive, and then predict which products will still be in my life in 2k__. How dumb would I have looked if I had a can of SPARKS tattied on my palm?

If I am scared to get a tattoo because of the ‘pain’, I might just morph into a digital camera. This would make me a CameraBro. I think having the opportunity to be ‘half-human-half-technology’ would be kinda like being a robot, except without ‘losing ur sense of humanity/emotion/feelings that humans experience.’ There are a lot of movies that have robots who ‘want 2 b human bc they can’t feel emotions’, but if I were just 50% camera and 50% bro, I think I could

I still have 2 decide whether I want 2 morph into a Point-And-Shoot Camera or a dSLR. Point-and-shoots are kinda entry level at this point. If I choose to be a dSLR, I think I will have more opportunities to implement other accessories, like flashes and lenses. However, being a point-and-shoot means that I will be really portable, and won’t be a huge douchebag. I just need 2 make sure that I come with a pre-installed way to upload my photos 2 the web [via flickr/photobucket/ tinypic/facebook/cobrasnakeHTMLgenerator/etc.]

What do yall value in a digicam?

Do yall know what I should do to upgrade my personal brand in 2k9?

In 2009, all we will want 2 do is have a lil fun. Authentic fun. The kind of fun that can only be embodied by a song that is accessible to females from age 7 to 72. Hot women will be kind of fair, but kind of ’saucy’ in a ‘mystic drifter’ kind of way. In 2k9, the synthesizer market will crash, and we will see the acoustic guitar market explode.

<3 free spirited moms + cool dads

XX BONUS CRUNKCORE COVERAGE XX

Gonna miss u when u r just a meme from 2k8, Brokencyde. At least they made the Mexican peoples of the world proud.
Worried that music will sound Crunkcore in 2k9 :-(
// help