30 Seconds to Mars | Hipster Runoff

30 Seconds to Mars

Jared Leto is still Jared Leto. Jared Leto is still beyond alt.

Photos by the Cobrasnake

God bless u, Jared Leto
For being the most alternative man alive
I am not sure how ur buzzband has so many overground fans
But props 2 u for selling out basketball arenas all around the world

Spray me with ur Girl Talk toilet paper gun
But only after you wipe your poo-stained anus
with said toilet paper
so I can taste what 'greatness' is

Making ur way thru the crowd like Jesus
What I would give for one hand on your perfect body
To touch the most alternative man alive...

Only Jared could wear a skirt/dress on stage
and pull it off
Because Jared Leto is so much more than fashion
he is a living bag of skin and bones, transcending art and culture

Will u chill out and play a personal acoustic set for us?
Maybe some post-Jack Johnson vibes?

Jared Leto is totally our fave hipster hottie <3 <3 <3

30 Seconds To Mars
Was created by God
Shannon Leto was created
2 be the less alt Leto Brother

It's not a band
It's a movement
It's building an army
It's being a part of something bigger than urself
It's being even better & more meaningful than the Arcade Fire
We are 30 Seconds... From Mars...

God Bless Jared Leto, the most alternative man alive. There are no questions. Jared Leto is the answer.

Jared Leto is the most alternative man alive

In a world full of so many forgettable alt bros, is Jared Leto the ultimate Alt Alpha Male?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto is still the most alternative man alive.


Jared Leto is 'the most alternative man alive.'

Jared Leto has had many great alt moments. Like the time he won an MTV award and thought it was real [link]. Or the time he hit on Lady Gaga [link]. Or the time he collabed with 10.0 rapper Kanye West [link]. Or the time he pooped his pants [link].

Every day I strive 2 be more alt
And we know that Jared Leto is so alt that he is mainstream that he is post-alt that he is not human after all
Jared Leto inspires me 2 pursue art/life/change/______
Jared Leto is sorta like the mainstream meme 'Chuck Norris' except he has alt ideals

How alt is Jared Leto?

Jared Leto is so alt that he inspired Charlie Sheen 2 transcend modern pop culture via the traditional interview format.

Jared Leto is so alt that he prefers to only use one of his eyes as a way to try to understand mainstream culture.

Leto is known to be too alt for sleeves.

Jared Leto is so alt that he served in Iraq and made his own custom uniform.

During that tour of Iraq, he collected the skulls of terrorists and ate their brains to consume their counterintelligence.

Jared Leto is so post-alt that he breaks free from society's shackles on a daily basis.

Jared Leto does not eat real food. Jared Leto only eats metal, rocks, and dirt.

This is Jared Leto's house. He does not believe in property, furniture, or home entertainment systems. His alternative thoughts make modern media seem trivial.

Jared Leto spends half of the year serving as the chief of a neon indian tribe for teens who want to be more alt. They have formed a farming utopia somewhere in Idaho.

Jared Leto requests that his band 30 seconds 2 Mars doesn't get a headlining spot so they don't appear to be 'too mainstream' or 'successful'

Jared Leto is too alt to smile. Jared Leto had a 300 person gangbang with all of his groupies 'just to save time' in 2006.

In order to be more alt, sometimes Jared Leto lives under the identity of Wanda Caruthers, who works at a coffee shop in Sacramento, CA.

Jared Leto's brother Shannon has finally accepted that he is the brother of the most alternative man alive after 10 years of counseling.

Jared Leto is so alt that he constructed a stage on top of his fans.

Jared Leto sometimes stands in the crowd as other bands are performing and sings with them, and the other bands are willing to let Jared sing because his voice sounds like an angel.

Jared Leto has constructed his own universal language with a font/type face that is more perfect than Helvetica

How do u do it, Jared?
How r u so alt?

Jared Letbro is the most alternative man alive.
We could all learn a lot from Jared Leto

'All I really needed to know abt alt... I learned from Jared Leto...'

Do yall <3 Jared Leto?
Does his alt-ness inspire u?
Is Jared Leto 'just a conceptual d-bag' or is he an authentic alt?
Is Jared Leto the greatest living artist of our generation?
Is 30 Seconds From Mars the #1 band on the planet?
Does Jared Leto 'turn u on'?
Do u want 2 b Jared Leto?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Is the new Jared Leto video the 'biggest piece of poop' ever created as 'art' in the history of the world?

30 Seconds to Mars is Jared Leto's alt rock band. He is an alternative actor, but he likes to focus on his music career. There are 2 other dudes in his band and one of them is his brother Shannon. I am not sure 'why' people like his music because they only have 1 catchy alt rock song from like 5 years ago, but now they just make all of these rlly stupid music videos that us 'amazing' imagery and tell 'wonderful stories.'

Anyways, their new video "Hurricane" is 'effing terrible.' Trying rlly hard to be 'beautiful', 'amazing', 'artsy', 'cutting edge', and 'more than just a music video.' Feel really bad 4 the band for spending so much time making such a big piece of poop. Has 2 be embarrassing. Feels like some1 shoulda told them "damn bros... this shit looks kinda ghey.'

Really feels like if u gave a group of high school freshmen a 'huge budget' and told them to 'make something beautiful', this is what they would have pooped out.

Do yall know what the eff happens in this video? Trying 2 find some sort of meaning in it.

1st Jared Leto wakes up

Then some dude in a mask comes 2 kill him [via 8MM Machine]

Then Jared Leto jumps out of the window of a skyscraper 2 escape

Then he lands on his feet bc he is a magic man

Then his brother Shannon does some weird shit and plays tribal drums

Then some naked broads come out in bondage

Then the forgettable dude in their band plays a violin 2 prove he is rlly deep

Then there is a metaphor abt America/the War with Iraq

Then Jared Leto gets a bunch of 'deep' prison tattoos

Then he 'gets his Fight Club' on

Honestly not even sure wtf this video is trying to do/say. Really confused. Think those dudes are 'mad insane' or something. Maybe they should go 2 college 2 learn how to take more responsibility for the images that they present, and understand that if ur 'making art', ur words/ideas/images have to 'mean something.' Honestly would have rather watched a 'toilet cam' of runny poop exiting Jared Leto's anus than this video.

Feel bad for Jared Leto. According 2 wikipedia, "Bartholomew Cubbins" is his pseudonym for his music video directing career:

He is the lead vocalist, rhythm guitarist and main songwriter for the American rock band 30 Seconds to Mars and has directed music videos under the pseudonym Bartholomew Cubbins (a name borrowed from Dr. Seuss' The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins).

Not sure if Barth is gonna be getting many more directing gigs after this log of poop.

Wonder if this video is 'deeper' than Inception/more conceptual than Lady Gaga.
Wonder 'wtf' is wrong with Jared Leto.
Wonder who takes this band srsly.
Wonder if this is 'the greatest video ever made.'
Wonder if this video will get a 10.0 because it is a beautiful dark, twisted fantasy.

Do u <3 Jared Leto?
Is 30 Seconds from Mars the 'lamest dudes' on the planet?
Is this supposed to appeal to people who are in2 anime or something?
Is this video 'srsly rlly mindblowingly lame'?
Is Jared Leto about to reach 'Lady Gaga status', being 'respected' as a pop icon 'and as an artist'?
Do u think Jared Leto is gonna lose movie roles bc ppl are gonna be like 'that dude is rlly, rlly, rlly dumb--did u see his cheesy ass music video? No way do I let that insane dude in my movie'?
Is Jared Leto 'hot'?

Is Jared Leto the most Desirable Alternative Man in the World?

Photos by the cobrasnake

I was recently looking at a cobrasnake photograph album which contained documentation of a 30 Seconds To Mars show somewhere in France. 30 Seconds to Mars is the alt rock band which contains Jared Leto as the visionary mastermind bro.  I started wondering if Jared Leto is the most desirable alt man in the world.  Like any alternative female in the world would feel comfortable dating him, no matter how terrible his music was.

Wonder if alt bros should be jealous of Leto because of his authentic career as an actor in alt movies, and his successful band. Even if their music is kinda like fruity alt rock, they seem to be well monetized. He seems 'beloved' by his fans + women. That is probably the goal of all men in music.

Remember back in the day when he represented a bro in the Fight Club, the club that every1 wanted 2 be in.

It seems like Jared Leto is a bona fide rock star, like the kind that tweens pay $30-40 to 'stand in the pit' then spend the whole time taking pix on their cell phones / digital cameras.

Even the tweens know that they are supposed to wear white in order to be members of the tribe. They even doodle iconography on their skin to show they are part of the tribe.

He is sort of like a 'god' to his fans. This means he has succeeded at the ultimate goal of all musicians.

Large, black security guards must protect him.

He is also a chill bro who can play some acoustic guitar.

In touch with new sounds, he isn't afraid to play some sweet riffs/jingles on a high level synthesizer.

After the show, Jared Leto takes time to meet with fans, understanding that it takes an authentic connection to build a loyal tribe of customers.

Even this tiny alt wanted to get a piece of Jared Leto.

She tilted her camera at an upward angle as he approached her. Wonder if she should have embraced him like a human, instead of taking a pic of him like he was a zoo animal from 3 feet away.

Wonder if 30 Seconds To Mars is trying 2 build some sort of cult. Watched their recent music video when I was up late one night watching MTV in HD. Seemed 'hilarious.' Like tons of alternative underground people riding zany bikes around.


Maybe they are trying to promote street pack living + using bikes instead of 'gas guzzling cars.' They make me worried that there will be an urban apocalypse soon, and we will all have 2 raid Hot Topics to find clothing + food.

Jared Leto seems desirable.
Jared Leto seems like a visionary.
Jared Leto seems like he exists on a different plane of humanity than most people.
Jared Leto seems like he can 'bang' any alt baguette' in the world.

Would u get on a bike and ride in a street gang with Jared Leto?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars the most cultlike crappy rock band fan base in the world?
Does Jared Leto 'get' it?
What is ur fave Jared Leto movie?
Should tween fans learn to enjoy a show instead of holding up digital cameras the entire time?
Should I grow a mohawk?

In a world full of so many forgettable alt bros, is Jared Leto the ultimate Alt Alpha Male?

Where's Leto?

Jared Leto goes 2 save Haiti because the Arcade Fire were half-assing it

Every one knows that the Arcade Fire have tried to be the band that is single-handedly trying to save Haiti with their indie/alt vibes. But what if I told you that one man was tired of seeing the inaction of the Arcade Fire, deciding to save Haiti himself?

His name is Jared Leto, the Most Alternative Man Alive.

Jared Leto is the most alt man alive, and there's really nothing he can't do. He's sorta like the Alt version of Chuck Norris. He's so alt he can fly. He's so alt that he will never die. He's so alt that he can save Haiti by himself just by going there and filming a documentary and taking some pictures.

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲Did u hear that?▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
▲▲▲▲Haiti was just saved, yall! ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
▲▲▲▲And all it took was Jared Leto.▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
▲▲I am the Letbro.▲▲▲▲

Were the Arcade Fire 'half-assing' their philanthropy mission?
Who is doing more 2 save Haiti?
Is every1 helping, or did the Arcade Fire just do it to minimize their mainstream backlash?
Do u <3 Jared Leto?
Does he seem 'deep'?
Do u think▲▲Jared Leto▲▲ 'saved' Haiti?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto wins a fake award, thinks he won a contest for 'greatest band in the history of the world'

Transcript of Jared Leto's Karrang Awards Speech:

Hi, I'm Jared Leto. You might know me from hit movies such as Fight Club, American Psycho, and the popular 90s 'deep' tween show My So Called Life. But now, I am the greatest musician in the history of the world. Bono? Eff that guy. John Lennon? He would h8 being alive in the Leto era. Elton John? I can poop on a piano and make better music than that guy.

I am the greatest, most alternative artist in the history of the world, and I plan on changing the world forever. Lady Gaga? What a loser. Win Butler? Overrated. Animal Collective? More like logs of turd that have accumulated in my unflushed toilet.

I know what ur thinking... "WHat are you holding, Jared?" No, these are NOT weapons. I do not believe in war. I believe in social and mental revolution. I don't believe weapons make a man stronger. I believe that brains make a man stronger, therefore, I am the strongest man in the world.

To clear the record, NO, I am not the fat bro from Subway who lost a lot of weight. Subway ingredients actually contain toxins that kill the aura of ur spirit. Most franchise locations also smell horrible! Ew!

It is great to win this award. We are expanding our fan base into Asia, looking to become the #1 band in China. We will sing about themes that they can relate to. We sing about themes that the human spirit can relate to. My brain is so huge that I am sorta like Professor X mixed with Magneto [via X-men]. I can see into ur brain. At the same time, I can also move stuff with my brain. It's really cool.

Thanks again for voting us the Best Band in the History of Music, Art, Time & Space.

We plan on living forever, and making music forever.

Follow ur dreams. -Jared

Did Jared 'crush it' in his speech?
Do u think he thinks he won a 'real award'?
Does Jared Leto live in an alternate universe?
Is he the #1 artist of all time ever?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars the greatest buzzband of all time ever in the history of music rock n roll?


Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Lamestreamers on Facebook wet their panties over how 'hot' Jared Leto is

Facebook is a place where ppl chill out and have fun and talk about life, love, buzzbands and other relevant topics. Every user has the ability to create his or her own 'social network' where you can connect + communicate with ppl from the past.

It seems like some females choose to talk abt 'hot bros.' In this conversation, 2 lamestreamers talk abt 'how hot' Jared Leto is.

First some girl is like "mmmmmmmm.... Jared. Fucking. Leto. I wanna suck his peen and let him taste my vajeng."

then another girl comes along and is like "Awww helll yeeeah. He is God. I want 2 start a religion called Letoianity where every1 has 2 'beat off' 2 Jared Leto 3x per day."

Then the first girl is like "Can't even explain how much I <3 JarLet."

Then the other Letostreamer is like "I just saw the video for Hurricane and came so many times during it."

30 Seconds to Mars "HURRICANE" (Uncensored) from Rui Delgado on Vimeo.

Then another streamer is like, "I tried 2 watch it but my parents can't afford hi-speed internet but I still <3 him and want him 2 take my virginity."

and then the other 1 is like "I've been in2 Jared Leto since Fight Club. Really think we'll end up 2gether."

Finally, one streamer is like "Oh shit. Jared Leto is 39 fucking years old? Dear lord, that is an old ass man. That's as old as my dad." Not so sexy any more. Kinda turned off."

Is Jared Leto 'totally sexy'?
Do u think his 39 year old peen would make u happy?
Is Jared Leto very healthy for a 40 year old man?
Why do girls think Jared Leto is s000 haute?

Did Jared Leto throw away a promising Brad Pitt-like career just to make crappy music in his buzzband?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto wins a fake award, accidentally thinks it is real, gives pretentious acceptance speech

First of all, I'd like to introduce myself to those of you who don't know who I am. My name is Jared Leto, and I am the lead singer of the popular band 30 Seconds To Mars. If you haven't heard of our band, you have probably been living in a metaphorical Chilean mine. Our band is possibly the best band around right now, mixing the best elements of arena rock, pop, and indie alt music, bringing positive, inpirational messages to humans all around the world.

Before I formally accept this award, I would like you all to watch my music video, in order to truly understand our brand. It is a music video that I helped to direct for our hit song "Closer to the Edge." Please dim the lights, and enjoy. I have provided you with large headphones so that u can appreciate our full sound.


In this video, you can see how our band has a global brand with a universal message, resonating with ppl no matter their age, social class, race, or level of altness. I understand that as Jared Leto, it is my duty to bring a heightened level of social, metaphysical, and spiritual awareness to all humans.

I am an artist. I am more than an artist. I am Jared Letbro.

Thank you for this award. I am not sure if it is an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award, or a Pitchfork 10.0 trophy, but I am appreciative. This is certainly not the first award we have won, and certainly not our last, but we appreciate your Awards Show's willingness to merge your brand with us. Even though we are easily the #1 band in the world right now, and a top-10 all time band, we are happy that you recognize our brilliance.

The truth is, I am the only really important member of this band, however, I let these two other dudes come along just because they wear the alt costumes that I tell them to wear. They are okay dudes (one of them is my brother so my mom made me let him into our band), but I do all of the creative heavy lifting for the band. They are willing to acknowledge that I am 'the special 1' in this band, and they are just along for the ride. I want to make it clear that this is not a team effort, and I am the only person accepting this award.

I'd like to thank our fans.
I would thank God, but I believe that I am the living Saviour of Humanity, and that 1 day every1 who isn't a fan of my band will be wiped off this Earth [via rapture].

It is truly an honor, not to me, but 2 ur award, for getting to be with me. I have a trophy room in my house, and this will be placed in it, right next to my 'Best Supporting Actor' Oscar from Fight Club. The trophy room is right next to my walk-in closet, which houses some of the most alternative fashions in the world.

I'm not going to lie--being Jared Leto is awesome, and I am happy to be me, and that is probably the greatest award that any1 can give u in life. However, ur award is nice, and once again, I would like to repeat that I am awesome, an artist, hot, bangable, and the greatest musician alive.

Thanks, and the awards show is now over, because this moment cannot be topped, and no other band is as important as my band. Good night every one. Hit me up @JaredLeto.

Jared Letbro

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto and Kanye West 'collab', proceed 2 'crush it'


Jared Leto is widely regarded as the most alternative man alive. He is the front man of the popular dramatic alt rock band "30 Seconds to Mars Yall are we there yet plllzzz hand me a granola bar I gottta go to the bathroom, daddd!" He is known for being 'really epic' on stage, so it was rlly appropriate that they invited Kanye West on stage to 'effing crush it' at some European MTV Music Awards gimmick.

Kanye didn't really seem to take it seriously. He just wore a t-shirt and half-assed a song. Jared seemed to treat it like it was 'an epic Super Bowl halftime show.' I think my fave part of this video (besides Jared 'just bein Jared') is when Kanye comes on stage and does his thing, and Jared Leto is acting as 'hype man' behind him, running around, spinning in circles, really raising the energy level 4 the fans.

<3 <3 <3 Jared Letbro <3 <3

Jared closes the set by saying, "Gracias, Madrid", proving he knows how to speak Mexican/Spanish, really connecting with the 'commonfolk' of the local city. So sweet that he knows multiple languages/connects with the local plebeian-wave humans.

Do u think this collab was 'effing terrible'?
Is 30 Seconds from Mars some 'weak ass shit' or 'mad alt'?
Should Jared Leto start a rapegaze sound project 2 gain indie cred?
Do u think Kanye + Jared are 'brilliant minds'/modern artists?
Does Jared Leto need to retire from 'alt rock' and focus on his indie acting career?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto tries 2 ride the slutwave, wears zany Gaga-esque outfit

Photos by thecobrasnake

Jared Leto is the lead singer of the popular alt rock band "30 seconds til we get to Mars--Are We There Yet, yall?" His personal brand is 'so out there', and he really represents the old vibes of rock n roll. Just a dude who is all about the performance, the glam, the status, and mother effing rock n roll.

Not sure what his vibe is all about during this show. Seems like a 'poor man's lady gaga' or something. Like he didn't get a legit costume designer, and instead went to a local Walmart crafts section.

Do yall know where I can buy some plastic shoulder pads + lil studs? Does Hot Topic carry those lil things, or maybe at an outdoors store?

Always feel perplexed by this bro. Not sure what world he is living in. Wonder if he is 'insane' or if he is 'chill.' Just trying to figure him out, but not sure if I ever will.

Whenever I feel like getting more confused, I just watch 30 Seconds to Mars music videos + live performances.

Here is one where they go to Asia and become ninjas, singing a majestic core alt rock song.


Just wanna write majestic alt rock
wear eye liner
bang 'top tier' pussie
change my personal brand every 2-3 months.

Sorta h8 Jar Let
but also kinda
wish I could be him

Should Jared Leto just 'be himself'?
Or should he try to ride slutwaves?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars 'the best rock n roll band of all time'?

Sunkist Soda makes their brand more alt, lets Jared Leto score their new commercial


Sunkist is a popular orange soda, competing with orange sodas like CRUSH and FANTA in order to create the perfect orange soda formula. They are in search of a demographic of alternative ppl who 'love orange soda.' Colored sodas are stereotypically associated with minorities (red, purple, orange = for browns and blacks) but it seems like they are trying to give Sunkist a new vibe. Something that 'hipsters', 'alts' and Beach Bros can drink when they get blazed, maybe.

Maybe they are trying to create a more meaningful Mountain Dew, like something that is for xtreme alts, except when they feel like chilling. Hope 'Orange Label Sound' launches soon.

Can't believe they picked the majestic song "Kings and Queens" by Jared Leto's buzzband 30 Seconds To Mars. Feel like that song is 'hilarious' since they are trying so hard to be the most meaningful alt rock band of all time. In the original video, a clan of bicycle alts roam the streets of Los Angeles, searching for meaning.


Seems like Sunkist is trying to create a group of consumers similar to the alts seen in this video. Alts who vibe out to majestic altrock, living in a post-apocalyptic urban environment, where nothing matters except for beverage choices.

<3 u J Leto. U write the best soda songs. Way better than MTN DEW BROS

What's yalls favourite orange soda?
Do u think Sunkist will rebrand itself successfully and make more money?
Is Jared Leto the perfect alternative spokesman?
Should Sunkist try to ride chillwaves to sell more sodas?
Are colored sodas for minorities?

Red sodas are for __________ (Mexis?)
Purple sodas are for _________ (Blacks?)
Green sodas are for __________ (xtreme white bros/white trash/skaters)
Diet sodas are for __________ (rich, fat whites/dumb girls)
Regular brown colas are for ________ (every1)
Water is 4 ________? (no1)
Is coffee for _______?
Is tea for ________? (AZNs/Indians)
Lemon Lime sodas are for _______?

What kind of soft drinks do yall drink?
Do different colored people have a natural affinity towards certain soft drinks, or is it just 'branding'?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto kinda looks like Courtney Cox

Do yall think that popular alternative actor + alt band front man Jared Leto looks like the star of FRIENDS + SCREAM Courtney Cox-Arquette?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars the greatest band on the planet?
Is Courtney Cox hotter than Jennifer Aniston?
Is Jared Leto hotter than Jennifer Aniston?
Which 1 of these bros would u rather be intimate with?

Alternative Celebrity Look Alikes compares the personal brands of alternative celebrities with other famous and microfamous humans. This ALT REPORT gimmick was inspired by the mainstream version of this meme at totallylookslike.com. Please submit your alternative celebrity look alikes at the ALT REPORT TIP LINE.

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>
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