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NSFW: My Marketing Internship with a Relevant Adult Alcoholic Beverage Brand

Photos by LNP


Things have been going pretty well for me lately. After so many false starts, I've finally decided that my passion lies in business and marketing. I recently obtained a marketing internship with a relevant liquor/adult alcoholic beverage brand. I was told by the man who interviewed me that I had the opportunity to grow within the company, and even the regional manager started on the LIVE Events Marketing Street team. Basically what I do is go to events and try to raise brand awareness, getting people PUMPED about the brand. It's been very fun, rewarding work, and I am excited to add a line of premium professional experience to my resume.

On top of all that, I adore the girls that I work with. Sometimes we have so much fun that it doesn't even feel like work.

The camaraderie actually reminds me of my short stint as a stripper when I initially turned 18. Although the stripper locker room eventually led me to a meth addiction, and I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship with my 43 year old manager, I still miss the way the girls all took care of one another. It also helped to familiarize me with 'pasties,' and how to effectively cover your nipples/areolas.

I love marketing and advertising. I love #interfacing with people and customers, leveraging my knowledge to get them up to speed with the brand. I work with a product that I ACTUALLY consume, a product that I am passionate about.

The only time I ever worry is when I think that people might be able to see my cooch.

It's actually the perfect job for me. I understand that SEX SELLS, so I have the BRAINS and the BODY to really be the best brand ambassador that I can be.

Have I mentioned that I love the girls that I work with? The body paint artist Julio has also been amazing to work with.

It's been a really exciting era of my career, and I'm certain that before I know it, I'll be wearing a suite and marching into a huge office in the Big City. Right now I'm young, and I'm trying to have fun and build a career for myself. I love brands, sponsorships, and partying on the job. I know that sometimes men sexually harass me, but I am fortunate to have a BANGIN BOD where I can have this dreamjob.

After we are done tonight, me and the girls are gonna take a shower, wash up

Have u ever had a relevant marketing internship?
Do u <3 alcohol girls?
Do u <3 branded street teams?
Do u <3 body painted broads with BANGIN BODS?

The Impact of Sports Marketing on Regular Bros: This Bro is a Witness

Photo via BallDon'tLie


It's kinda weird how we're all 'witnesses' 2 marketing, and we are impacted by the stuff that is around us. I noticed this bro from Cleveland Ohio who had actually 'converted his garage' into some sort of tribute to his favourite African American athlete in the world, an NBA basketball player named LeBron James who plays in the same city. It seemed weird 2 me, mainly because sports don't really mean anything, and I thought every1 realized that sports is just some sort of intense marketing + branding experiment for males.

Sorta wonder 'why' this bro felt moved to convince his parents to let him turn their garage + old ppl convertible into a LeBron James Tribute Zone. I understand 'being a fan' since I am theoretically a 'fan' of a bunch of indie bands, but I feel like this would be the equivalent of painting ur car to match the Merriweather Post Pavvy cover. It seems 'extreme', like instead of living ur life, you are getting too emotionally attached to the characters + brands that 'sports' create.

I am not sure why LeBron James would 'inspire him' to architecturally alter his property. From what I understand, LeBron James thinks that he is a 'chosen one' when it comes to life. Maybe he 'convinced every1 in Cleveland' that he is some sort of God. (seems like a tattoo that only 'an ass hole' would get/only 1-4 people in the world are 'actually qualified to receive').

I am not sure if this tattoo means that he thinks he is 'better than every1 else at everything' or just at basketball. From what I understand, LBron has not won an NBA Championship and Michael Jordan won 6 of them. Kinda feel like that makes Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong's brands 'legit', since they 'won stuff.' Seems like Nike possibly 'jumped the gun' on branding LeBron James, or perhaps he is the only athlete 'simple enough' to go along with an 'over-the-top' campaign in our modern world where people feel 'shitty' after seeing some1 rub their greatness in ur face.

I feel like the entity 'LeBron James' is some sort of propaganda to save the psyche of people who live in Ohio. From what I understand, living in Ohio is 'a very depressing experience', since u are 'trapped in ur life. I feel like Nike probably recognized the opportunity to 'trick the people of Ohio' into thinking that their life would be improved if LeBron James won more basketball games.

This billboard seems 'insane.' I feel like I would understand why some1 had a 'warped sense of self/the world' if they 'green lit' this sort of billboard.

Nike understood that it was important to reach the white t(w)een bros, and lure them with the 'opportunity to co-brand with 'greatness.'

I am an advocate of children participating in sports/following a favourite team for a 'sense of belonging.' It seems way more healthy than letting your tween 'get into the Disney brand'/Jonas Brothers/Twilight books/etc. The spirit of 'sports' seems positive 'on the field', but I am scared of 'how warped shit can get' when it comes to uppermiddle class male teen bros who 'think that they are the shit.'

Worried that these types of bros are the ones who 'actually fall for sports marketing campaigns.'

Nike even paid Warren Buffet to be a 'witness' to this marketing scheme.

Seems like important African American artists who white ppl think are 'kewl' even participated in this whole 'witness' marketing gimmick. [via Kanye Meme]

Damn. Worried about athletes/rappers/African Americans/Nike and how they brand 'greatness.' I feel like the 'zeitgeist of greatness' is something that white males are pretty into, but I am not sure if it is a healthy concept to explore before a male is truly mature enough to understand his place in the world.

TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' pride themselves' in having the latest expensive shoes.
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' are never 'team players.'
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' often have bad fathers who are not grounded in reality.
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' often reach their physical peak during their sophomore year in high school, then go to a subpar university in order to 'continue playing their fave sport' and major in some field that they honestly believe will 'enable them to stay close to the game that they love', including 'sports medicine', 'sports business' and 'sports marketing.'
If my son is a sports bro, I will monitor the influence of marketing on his psyche. Mainstream Teens are impressionable too.

I don't want my son to evolve into a TeenBro who thinks he is 'great.' I just want him to be happy 4 the right reasons, even if that means he 'plays in the High School Jazz Band'/a local ska band (maybe not).

Should I convince my parents to convert my garage into a tribute 2 ______________?

This post is intended to appeal to the sportsbro and post-teensportsbro demographic.

I work in marketing. I work on the streets. I represent a brand. This is my job.

Photo via Ivan Rodic


I have always wanted to be involved in 'grassroots marketing campaigns' that reach real people. It seems like the best way to do this would be to become 'a bro holding up a sign on the side of the street.' I feel like this strategy might have been stolen from homeless people, usually using their lil sign to let people know that they are 'hungry' or that they would 'welcome any sort of cash donation' towards their survival fund.

The truth is, online advertising might not even work--mainly because not every one uses the internet. Did you know that only 10% of the world uses the internet (uncited). Did you know that only 1% of the world has a 'smartphone' (uncited)? Did you know that only 10K units of iPhones have been sold (uncited)? Did you know that only 34% of the world has an email address, while 100% of the world has a physical street address (uncited)? So while you may think that the whole world is a savvy consumer just like you, the way the world works is completely different. While 'banner ads on websites' might reach 'stuck up Gen Y a-holes from all of the world', a more effective marketing campaign on a microscale might involve 'holding up a sign on the streets telling consumers about your product.'

For example, these bros have a lemonade stand in their suburban neighborhood. They are letting drivers know that they have Lemonade and Bottled Water for sale, and that proceeds will help to clean water in Liberia. They utilized graphic design, computers, markers, and laserjet printers to break through society's 'noise' and enable potential customers to 'get their message.'

This pizza parlor is letting consumers know that they have 'cheap ass pizzas', possibly between the hours of 4-6 pm, when moms are driving their kids home from school and need a 'cheap dinner option.' Sometimes, u have to have a cheap product to tap into the 'impulse buy' economy.

If you do the math, you basically have to hire some 'poor person with minimal pride/awareness of the world' to stand outside with the sign, possibly for $10 per hour. I would avoid hiring young people, since they tend to 'look ashamed'/'disinterested' in holding up the sign, since they unintentionally outsourced their brand. It seems better to have a 'serious old person' who thinks they have a real job, or possibly a 'crazy old man' who will wave to people and be a jovial extension of your brand. It is important not to hire a krazy homeless man, since he might scare customers away, even if he has tons of experience in professional sign holding.

It also seems like the seasonal tax services industry also utilize the gimmick 'having some person stand outside in a Statue of Liberty costume.' It reminds poor people driving by that they are 'too dumb' to do taxes, and need to get them done for a small fee at their local tax office.

Always remember that you have to 'go to the streets' to reach real people. While internet advertising 'looks kewl', sometimes u have to reach low-end consumers with your low-end product. I believe in the power of holding up signs on the side of the road.

'Know your customer.'
-Warren Buffet, CEO of Chili's Fun Foods Corp

Previous 'shitty marketing jobs' coverage: Guy sitting at a table representing a brand
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/08/hello-i-am-a-guy-sitting-at-a-table-i-represent-a-brand-i-want-to-sell-you-something-that-you-are-not-interested-in-buying.html

Is Miracle Whip the Secret Ingredient 4 'Individuality'?

How many authentic alts can u count in this video?
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My entire life, I have tried to be an individual. I want to be noticed. I don't want to blend in, nor do I want to be ordinary, boring, or bland. It's very hard, particularly in the internet age where trend adoption happens so instantaneously [via viral tweet buzz]. I just want to be myself, and some how stay an 'individual' without being 'mainstream cool' enough for people to copy me.

According to this commercial, Miracle Whip is somehow a gateway to individuality and authenticity. Traditional mayonnaise represents everything 'uncool' and 'mainstream' about the world. I traditionally utilize my 'taste in music' and 'technological adaptation' to set myself apart, but it's kinda weird how little things like 'condiment choices' can go a long way towards establishing a unique personal brand. Sorta like ppl who dip their fries in _______ instead of ketchup.

It seems like the people in this commercial are partying, enjoying life, and spending time with other human beings. They all seem confident in their personal brands, as if they have made a happy life where they can have rooftop parties in urban environments. I think it is safe to assume that they achieved this comfortable status by consuming Miracle Whip. Might go to Whole Foods and see if they have Miracle Whip, or if they try to tell me that organic mayonnaise is better 4 u.

Do u use Miracle Whip?
R u counting calories?
What is the most authentic condiment?
Should I just start saying 'that's s00 mir whip' instead of 'that's s00 alt' and 'that's s000 mayo' instead of 'that's fckng mnstrm'?
If I smear some Miracle Whip on my AnCo vinyl, will it sound better?
Should I be Miracle Whip 4 Halloween?
Does it make u feel uncomfortable when generic products 'over-brand' themselves in order 2 'be kewl' with 'hip ppl'?

Miracle Whip might be the new Alt.
Miracle Whip might be some sort of 'enzyme' which enables authenticity.
Miracle Whip might be the new Sparks/PBR.
Plugging your head phones into an open jar of Miracle Whip might produce the best music ever made.
Miracle Whip might 'prevent STDs and babies' if u use it while having the sex with lovers.
Last night a dab of Miracle Whip saved my life.

Really feel like this marketing campaign 'spoke to me.'
When they tell u 'Don't Be So Mayo'
They are really telling u
'Don't be such a mnstrm fggt.'


Who has had a more positive impact on society: the designer who designed 'the iPod/iPhone/macbook' or the designer who designed the 'upside down squeeze bottle'?

Note: Carles has 'fixed' HRO and commenting is now available.

h8 when u can't tell the difference between 'art' and 'advertising.'

Yall. Don't u h8 when u think something is 'beautiful', then u find out that it it being used 2 sell u something? That's what happened 2 me when I saw this picture.

Initially, I thought that it was a beautiful picture that was about 'ending racism', celebrating 2 beautiful people coming together as 1 [via interracial couple]. But then I found out that it is an advertisement for a tennis shoe/ strip club / slice of white ass. Sad that the tennis shoe isn't featured in the picture.

'ugh'. Think that sometimes I assume that everything Kanye West makes is 'beautiful art' and don't realize that he is actually just 'trying to make money', or what rappers call 'hustling.'

Feel manipulated. It's kinda like when I see a beautiful logo that I would consider getting as a tattoo, but then I realize that it is part of a global brand. Thought I was gonna get this tattoo, but then I realized it belonged to CHILI's.

(Fortunately, I found out that it is a kick ass restaurant.)

In my digital art class, I actually made a symbol that looked like the 'Nike Swoosh' without even ever seeing it. I thought it was beautiful, but then my classmates accused me of 'ripping off Nike' and wondering 'how could u have never seen the Nike logo b4?'

Feel dumb when art = advertising, and I appreciate it too much when it I thought I was just admiring something beautiful.

But I did like the recent Am Appy custom Woody Allen campaign. Feel like it really went viral.

wish websites had 'billboards.' Think 'billboards' might be the most authentic artistic medium.

Felt sad when I read that famous street graffiti artist Banksy was actually hired by a Coalition of the Eastern world to spread anti-American messages [via internet viral campaign].

Does n e 1 know where I can get an advertising/marketing internship?

This product appeals to me since my version of reality is highly blogcentric

Meme via Jezebel


Every day, I read several hundred blogs in an attempt to stay 'connected' to 'the world.' I believe that blogs are an authentic source of judgment for events and products since they are able to stay more 'honest' and 'raw' than mainstream news+content sources. Blogs are authentic, and the content/writing/blurbs on the most respected blogs are relevant + authentic.

I recently saw an advertisement for some sort of taco/quesadilla made by Oscar Meyer that made me think it might be worth trying, even though it looks like it was assembled by a white mom from suburbia. The advertisement declared that it was blogworthy. I only enjoy blogworthy things.

Blogworthy memes. Blogworthy 'so rand0m' news stories. Blogworthy MP3s. Blogworthy celeb gossip coverage. Blogworthy gimmick blogs. Blogworthy technological gadgets. Blogworthy photographs. Blogworthy shows. Blogworthy 'improv everywhere' flash mobs. Blogworthy viral videos. Blogworthy gimmick products like the snuggie.

The things I value most are [HIGHLY BLOGGABLE]. My mission in life is to become a 'content filter' to determine what is blogworthy and what is not blogworthy. Think of ur life as 'a blog' and u r trying ur best to blog about what 'represents u' and what sort of content will 'help u garner a larger audience.'

I have a firm belief that everything which eventually becomes 'relevant' and 'mainstream' is incubated in the blogosphere, providing an environment where 'authentic buzz' can carry the product, idea, or meme to eternal glory.

What is HIPSTER RUNOFF? It's a blog worth blogging about.

Gotta stop drinking bottled water // I feel guilty abt stuff


Yall. I'm not sure if this is a product improvement, or just some sort of marketing gimmick. I drink at least 8 bottles of water per day, 3 bottles of soda per day, 2 cans of Sparks per day, and 4 aluminum bottles of Bud Light per day. Maybe it is time I start thinking about my personal impact on 'the environment.' Might have to start drinking boxed water, boxed milk, and possibly even boxed beer. Just want to 'lower my carbon footprint.'

Sometimes I don't 'get' why ppl care about 'the environment' so much... It's like they think that we're 'going to be around 4ever' and 'we should care about ppl who live after we die.' I think we should do everything we can 2 find pleasure in our lives' while we can. We don't have much time, and if we start worrying about 1 person can't make a difference, so don't make a 'sacrifice' if not every1 else will.

N e ways... might start a company where we bottle the tap water from our local aquifer and market it to people not from our region bc it is s000 g0000d.

Photo via Tap'd NY

I don't rlly 'get' the Bottled Water Industry. It seems like every1 has 'the same product', but for different reasons, ppl tend to 'like' one type over the other. I feel confused. I feel like I am being manipulated to align my personal brand with a lifestyle brand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be one of those people who carries around the 'cheap kind' of bottled water for poor people who buy in the bulk.

but srsly... do yall know if some1 has scientifically proven that 'recycling is bullshit'? If I were mayor of a city, I would give ppl recycling bins, but just take all of that trash 2 the landfill.

ughh... h8 all of these mrktng initiatives to try to 'make me feel guilty' about how fortunate I am. Went shopping the other day at Target, and this lil black kid was chilling in my cart asking 4 handouts.

Photo via WebUrbanist via Tumbledore


I feel guilty for being so privileged and having a world of opportunities at my finger tips. h8 when ad gurus create these design/advertising/marketing memes that challenge my reality just bc they are trying to 'sell something.'

Leave me alone /
Let me 'be wasteful' /
Stop reminding me abt /
the 3rd world /
And other sad shit /
like mortality /
and global sustainability /

Kinda bummed out (about titties in my face)

Ever since I was an entry level hypemachine mp3 blog, I wanted to 'make it' and look like 'a real' website that was 'an authentic content source' for 'tastemaking audiences' and miscellaneous 'trendsetters.'

Guess what I'm trying 2 say is that I wanted to get American Appy ads on my site. Having American Apparel banners mean that 'u have arrived.' U r 'real', 'valuable' and 'relevant.'
So I did that, and I'm feelin kind of empty. Now that my site is 'branded' as being 'legitimate' according 2 the casual internet viewer, I want more.

I'm bummed out.
I read that Am Appy is starting to run nude ads on select websites.

Click Here

I know yall probably think I should chill out. But I just want a nip or two on my website. I just want a few alt breasts to be peeping out at my readers saying, 'hey yall. come and buy some of our stuff, yall!'

I might just put some smut videos up on my sidebars to make HRO//NSFW.
Should I ban nudity on HRO?

Should I ban Ben & Jerry's on my weblog?

[Photo by lastnightsparty]

BUT SRSLY//
Are a pair of titties gonna make yall more likely 2 buy something?
When u see breasts aligning with a brand, does it make u want to cum with/on the brand and the pair of sweet, sweet juggs?
Do u still want 2 be an Am Appy model?

Feist Ad Analysis

Check out this Feist ad that showed up on Hype Machine earlier.

Do you think this ad was made by a 13 year old using Photoshop for the 4th time? While Feist's face is usually distant+enigmatic, I think she really comes across as a 'prisoner in this ad space.'

Go to Feist's website.
http://www.listentofeist.com/

This website is pretty hilarious. It seems like it should be a website that turned up when you googled your middle school teacher's name, and found out that she is an unsuccessful singer-song writer. Maybe it's just something about the colour scheme that makes it look like a default template in a 'Make My First Webpage' type of program.

I remember back at the beginning of Feist Explosion 2k7, she shut down listentofeist.com because it didn't represent her well. I wonder what the deal is now.

WHERE DA TAINT AT?

This Ad is from "S", a Danish Art Mag.

Buy your Baby Rib Thong before they sell out.

I wish American Apparel ads in the USA were LESS SAFE 4 WORK.

Via CopyRantBro

Public Service Announcements Are Obsolete

Whenever I watch TV that's aimed at my target market, I always end up viewing commercials with some black quirky-looking guy from thetruth.com who is trying to embody Generation Y's inner-righteousness. It reminds me of those anti-marijuana ads from a few years ago. One where a little girl is run over by a group of high teenagers looking to satisfy their 'munchies.' Or that one where those kids get high and one shoots the other one.

You'll probably recoginze this dude, Derrick. From The-Truth.com.

What kind of music do you think he listens to?

Finding the right tone to approach Generation Y about 'relevant social issues' is tough, but here are some bloggable examples from the past.

I could go for something along the lines of this angsty interaction between child and parent from 1987.

Even better is this PSA from 1991 that identifies a demographic (African Americans), and uses historical information to make them feel shame about life choices (using drugs).

Paste Magazine = the 'In Rainbows' of Magazines

Paste Magazine seems like a quality publication, even though I've never read it. I respect the fact that they seem to focus their attention on music that is mainly played from the speakers of leather-interiored cars. This means featuring the best singer songwriters + stuff that could have been on the Garden State soundtrack + other artists that are a step to the left of 'buzzworthy.'

I wonder if their decision to let the customer name their own price for a subscription comes after getting data about how IN RAINBOWS performed with customers in their target audience.

Or maybe this poll on their site showing 16% approval of Radio head was the only market research that they thought was necessary:

They already have a great business model where you get a sampler CD per magazine, so this is pretty interesting/hilarious. I'd like to see a copy of their financial statements to see how much revenue they get from each part of their business (magazine subscriptions/ advertising/online music store).

Go to their website just to experience their initial AJAX popup encouraging you to name your own price.
PASTE MAGAZINE

Sad Moments in Promotional Obligations (Starring Andre 3000 for Gillette)


Hey! Andre Three Thousand! Or should I say HEY YA! Great song!

Anyways, this is Tom with Gillette. Are you interested in expanding your brand, moving to a whole new audience who you RESONATE with? You have a beard, right? U trim it sometimes? U have a goatee sometimes too? Cool, cool. Good to know, Andrew 2000. Have I said we love your music?! SPEAKERBOXX (The Love Below)!

Alright, so u wanna be in our commercial for some new razor that we have? We just want people to think that they can 'style' their beards and look cool just like u. Could you 'be cool' and shit in a commercial, maybe make it seem like people who shave with this razor are rich and famous and rapper/singer/artist/bohemians?

Cool! Yeah I like that part about STYLE and BEARDS and stuff. Anyways lets hurry up because I have a call with a football player with a long hair coming up in 5 minutes.

Let's iron out the final part of this contract.

One more thing, do u mind wearing all denim and standing in front of an SUV with our new razor on it?

Cool, this will be in Times Square.

Do u mind driving the SUV for a year as your only car?

Also, this has to be your next album cover.

Additionally, this picture will be posted on your grave.

Sign on the dotted line my man!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Welcome to the Gillette family. Please do not put over 10,000 miles on the car. We will need it back exactly 1 year from today.

Lana Del Rey responds to hateful critics by purchasing major takeover ads on indie websites

Lana Del Rey was 'panned' by critics on websites all around the Americas. However, it was important for Lana and her major label to 'flex their muscles' and show off who was really in charge. They purchased MAJOR AD SPACES across some of the most 'important tastemakers in the scene.' I think this wasn't really for 'marketing', but instead a psychological move to let editors and website operators know 'who was really in charge', 'who was the famous-est', and who was really making the $$$$.

Here is a look at a few of the sites she was spotted on. Thank you all for the emails and screen shots.

Pitchfork: Pitchfork panned her, but that doesn't mean she can't vibe on their homepage. Many alts are 'pissed off' that they accepted 'dirty Lana Money', conspiracy theorizing that they took a bribe to double her score to a 5.5.

NPR: Didn't really read this, but if I had to guess, it was probably the 'soft ass feminist pan.' I rlly wish that the government would shut down NPR so that it would give true DIY indie blogs a chance, instead of govt dollars warping the shape + taste of cool dads.

SPIN: I think they 'panned her', but I don't think it was a mean pan bc she'll probably be on their cover within the next 18 months. Not sure if any1 reads their magazine/site 'for opinions', though. Think it is mainly just 'lifestyle'.

The Fader: I don't think they say anything mean about any1, which is why they basically got a LANA DEL REPORT style ad takeover.

Is LDR 'flexing her muscles'?
Did u see her ads anywhere?
Does this just prove that the 'critics' are ultimately 'in the pocket' of major labels?
Will LDR 'piss on' all of the 'crappy h8 blogs' with mad album sales in the first week?
U gonna pick this album up at Target or what?

Pitchfork ‘pans’ new Band of Horses album, band responds by purchasing site takeover ads


Pitchfork Media is one of the leading music criticism sites on the internet, with their reviews 'making or breaking' the careers of many buzzbands. Band of Horses is a band that used to be kinda respected, but now I think they are sorta inconsequential within the modern format of the indiesphere. When a band is 'no longer useful' to the indiesphere, it is no longer necessary to 'cover' the band and praise it for its products. It seems like when a band becomes 'too major label' there isn't really a reason to 'praise'

Pitchfork 'panned' their new album with a 5.3, which is basically like a 1.0 in a non-2k10 year. It seems like the band / their label / their marketing firm still decided to buy 'tons of ad space' on their blogsite, letting consumers know that even if the new Band of Horsebros album is 'mediocre', it doesn't meant u shouldn't buy it via iTunes.

Wonder if the album is 'good' or 'mediocre'... Never really listened to that type of forgettable indie rock. Sorta always got the vibe that 1 day it would be mad irrelevant, so I never made the commitment to 'cream' over them, because when you have to 'euthanize a band' it is pretty sad. It's like ur telling them that they aren't good enough any more.

Feel like I gotta 'give mad props' to P4k for this one. Seems like 'the ultimate heist' to be in a position where you get to 'pan' an album, but still have so much credibility that the record label/band still 'needs to purchase tons of ads on ur site.' Just want my weblog to be that 'powerful'/influential.

Do u think it was a 'good move' for the band to purchase ads on a site that basically euthanized them?
Do banner ads convince u to buy stuff, or do u make impulse buys based on editorial recommendations from popular/authentic websites?
Do u think this ad buy was made by an 'out of touch' major label, or was it an 'eff u' to the site for giving the band a lukewarm review?
Should the Band of Horses Marketing department have purchased a 10.0 from Pitchfork instead of a 'traditional advertising campaign'?
Do u know of any other old buzzbands that the blogosphere should euthanize so we don't have to 'keep pretending that their mp3s are still relevant'?
Is Buzzband Euthanasia the only way to save 2k10 and distance ourselves from our generic indie rock roots?
Did Pitchfork miss the ultimate buzzband euthanization with MGMT's Congratulations?

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Read more>>>>

Is M.I.A.’s violent popup ad the most annoying internet ad of all time?


Yesterday, the Alt Report Robot visited the popular Gen X alt website Viceland.com. My internet experience was interrupted by an interactive advertisement that popped up in the center of the screen. I saw a ginger boy running, and then he blew up, and then his blood spelled "M.I.A." At first I was confused, but then I remembered that M.I.A. created a violent music video where some ginger bro was blown up [link].

Do u think this type of online advertising is 'hella annoying'?
Do u like browsing websites and 'seeing shit pop up'?
Are popup ads the most important form of advertising in our lifetime?

It seems like M.I.A. is jonesing really hard to promote this violent meme. I wonder if Interscope has her back, or if they are 'mortgaging the house' with her release. Has any1 figured out if there is a metaphorical message behind her videos, or is she just trying to get our attention so we buy her album?

Is the song "Born Free" poppy enough for you?

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If you had a relevant alternative website, would you rather sell high priced banner ads, or would you just give the artist the login to your twitter account with over a million followers, kinda like Pitchfork did for M.I.A [link].
Wonder which 1 was the right move, in terms of 'keeping their readers happy.'

From what I understand, websites are in constant fear of appearing to have 'sold out.' In addition, they can't do things that weaken their editorial trust with readers. Seems like M.I.A. is probably 'pushing the limits' with Vice and Pitchfork. Do u feel uncomfortable with modern internet advertising? Should we just 'sack it up' and enjoy the modern world?

What is the most annoying advertisement of all time?
Have u ever won something free on the internet [via popup ad]?
Are you an M.I.A. supporter?
Do you support M.I.A.'s war against the gingers?
Is M.I.A. more authentic than Lady Gaga?
Will M.I.A.'s album debut at #1?
Do u know a good popup blocker + spyware detector to protect my PC from viruses and trojans?
Do users respond positively or negatively to intrusive advertisements on websites?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Nike makes Tiger Woods ad about how his dad is ashamed of him.

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Tiger Woods recently cheated on his wife and banged a bunch of whores, escorts, strippers, skanks, and professional sex women. He is currently making a 'comeback' from his downward spiral, about to play the popular white person sport GOLF again.

Nike created a new commercial trying to 'capitalize' on his 'comeback.' The commercial features a sad looking Tiger taking a verbal message from his dead father, Earl Woods. I think they must have contacted him [via the grave] to make this commercial. Feel like his voice sounds 'disappointed', but also kinda 'proud', like his son might be a 'pimp baller' for banging so much sweet, white vagina.

Is Nike 'exploiting' this situation?
Is the Nike marketing wing the 'greatest advertising bros in the history of the world?
Is Tiger 'exploiting' his dad?
Will Tiger Woods ever win the NBA Championship again?
Would this commercial have been cooler if it featured Neon Indian / She & Him / Grizzly Bear?

Did Tiger's dad raise an 'ass hole'?
Did Tiger's dad raise 'the ultimate bad ass'?

R u ashamed of Tiger?
Did Tiger let down black people?
Did Tiger let down white people?
Should Tiger be able to 'bone' any big titted stripper that he wants 2?
Have yall ever done drugs and had sex with some1?
Is Tiger Woods the greatest bro of all time?

Did Green Label Sound buy too many Neon Indian ads on alt websites?


I have been browsing the alt internet, and noticed a lot of ads for Neon Indian's Green Label Sound single "Sleep Paralysist." It seems like Mountain Dew / Green Label Sound has a 'huge' advertising budget, taking over 2 of the largest music sites in the world, Pitchfork Media and Stereogum.

Wonder if any1 got 'tricked' and thought the banner ad was part of Pitchfork content.

Just trying to read a blog but Neon Indian bro keeps looking at me, telling me to download his single even though I already downloaded it on the day it came out.

Is Neon Indian a tier 1 alt band? Does Neon Indian really need branding / exposure on music blogs since they basically depend on him to create bloggable memes?
Does it make sense to take out huge advertisements on sites that will already blog about your product?
I am all about overexposure and creating memes / getting attention for your personal brand, but u can't help but wonder if this was like 'paying rent on a house that you already own' or some equivalent analogy.
Is a blog blogging about your project in their content stream better than any banner advertisements?
Should they have focused on mainstream gossip and tech blogs to reach new markets of fans?

Is Green Label Sound the future of internet music?
If you owned a soda pop company and ur soda pop company started a record label, how would u advertise?
What is the point of banner ads on websites: to get people to click, to 'brand' or to just annoy readers?
Will there be a backlash against Mountain Dew / Neon Indian?
Should Mountain Dew just give more money 2 Neon Indian Bro for 'making art' instead of making 'huge' advertising purchases?

Green Label Sound

Record Label, Meme

GLS is the record label of Mountain Dew. They pay a buzzband to write an MP3, then release it to blogs in order to get buzz.

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Neon Indian

Buzzband

Neon Indian is a chillwave buzzband from 2k9 that rode chillwaves

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American Apparel Gift Certificate offered as Prize on the Price is Right

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The Price is Right is a popular game show that unemployed moms and old ladies watch every day. The show is basically a long advertisement, and people just guess how much stuff is worth in order to win prizes. The show will most likely die when Gen Xers begin to pass away.

Video Description: One lucky Price is Right contestant is offered the chance to win $1500 American Apparel gift certificate.

American Apparel was utilized as a 'prize' giveaway during the Price is Right. This might mean that Am Appy is trying to reach grand parents and old people, letting them know that their brand is real / dependable. Maybe they just want to inspire old people to buy gift cards for their teens.

Did American Apparel reach a new market with the Price is Right segment?
If you were an old person, would Am Appy appeal 2 u?
Is American Apparel 'crossing over'?
Does it cost money to get ur product placed on the Price is Right?
Do u wish u could win an Am Appy gift certificate from this show, or would u rather have the best bottom in the world?
Do u wish u were on the Price is Right so u could guess how much kitchen appliances were worth?

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