HIPSTER RUNOFF

I was looking at pictures of hotties, and then I 'got kinda pissed.' I hadn't felt an emotion in such a long time. Had been feeling 'numb' and shit. But then got 'enraged.'

Saw these two laggards laying around on my flag. This is America. This is our flag.

Photos via Bad Kitties

I feel 'fucking enraged' that some1 would deface my flag like that. I feel like this is what people in Iraq and Iran do whenever George W. Bush makes bad foreign policty.

It rlly offends me 2 see some super model/it-girl wearing our flag as a muu muu to a meaningful music festival. I know that fashion is metaphorical, but I don't think u should be allowed 2 wear a flag-shirt unless ur American, and unless it is [via Old Navy].

srsly think that this is a metaphor for the economie. Feel like young people are 'lazy' and 'don't give a shit about the economie.' This is like Generation Y, hangin out, layin around on Old Glory.

I think that the British flag might actually be a 'fashion statement.'

Sort of scared that the South will rise again [via Radical Christian bros who buy guns at Walmart]

I think it's kewl that even 'the dark side' of the world is a lil bit nationalistic. Think that we should limit their levels of 'patriotism' so that it doesn't cause terrorism.

Yall. I've been feeling really down lately. Just like 'fuck everything' and feelings like that. I decided that if u don't care about any thing, ur life will never be meaningful. Even though it is cliched, u have 2 FEEL something. U can't just go through life thinking that everything is a big joke. U have 2 take stuff seriously so that u don't implode.

It's okay to take stupid stuff seriously. Sometimes that makes life fun. Think I'm gonna change my ways and rally around America/God/bad ass mp3s/ 'the scene'.
What do yall believe in? What do yall do 2 get out of ruts?

Carles just saw a picture of a regular person who looks like she is a famouser person than she actually is. Help Carles determine who this broad looks like...

Yall... I can't put my finger on who exactly she looks like.

Here are some hints:

• She is the lead singer of a popular 8bit electro bloghouse band
• She was featured in an iPod commercial.
• There was a reality show about her zany rocknroll family
• She likes to eat fast food late at night.
• She has a brother whose nickname is 'Chubs McGee.'
• She recently broke up with Albert Hammond, Jr.
• She is signed to Ed Banger Records
• She recently earned the title of the 'hipster grifter'
• She might be AZN, but maybe not
• She is marrying the solo project 'Death Cab 4 Cutie'

WHO DO YALL THINK IT IS?
LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE SOME1, BUT I CAN'T QUITE PUT MY FNGR ON IT.

:-(
Current Mood: Frusterated :-&
Current Song: the Velvet Underground vs. Kanye West - "Beginning to See the Flashing Lights (Justice mashup)"

Alice Glass

Alternative Celebrity

Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.

Lists: QTs, indie songstresses, Members of Crystal Castles

Read more>>>>

Romy Croft

Alternative Celebrity

Romy Croft is the girl in the xx.

Lists: openly gay, Members of the XX, indie songstresses

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel

Alternative Celebrity, Actor

Zooey Deschanel is an actress turned indie songstress in the mediocre buzzband She & Him.

Lists: QTs, mainstreamer, it girls, indie songstresses, bangs, actors in indie bands

Read more>>>>

I was browsing pictures of beautiful ppl, and noticed 1 who looked exactly like an alternative celebrity. Might actually be her. Can yall help me out and tell me who she looks like?

Photo by Glam Canyon

Who 'the eff' does this broad LOOK LIKE?

Hints:

• She is currently dating Kanye West
• She recently broke up the celebrity couple Green Aggs and Ham
• She was in the movie Basic Instinct
• She is dating Lindsay Lohan
• She was in the movie Natural Born Killers
• She is sad and crying black tears a lot because it is a metaphor for oil/the Middle East.

WHO DO YALL THINK IT IS?

[lookbook photography]

I was looking at pictures of hot alt tween chicks, and I noticed that this altbroad looked a lot like one of my favourite alternative celebrities. Can yall guess who she looks like?

Hints:

• She is famous 4 wearing top hats
• She sings the song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it, Yall."
• She was in the hit reality show The Osbournes.
• It may or may not be "The Uffie."
• She sings the song "Just Dance."
• It might be Alice Glass as a blonde, but I'm not sure.
• She was on the show The Simple Life

WHO DO YALL THINK IT IS?

[photo via Lookbrook]
I was looking at the internet, and noticed that this alt looked a lot like a famous alt. Not sure if it is actually her, or just a 'copycat' type of personal brand hijacker. Do yall think it's keut?

Try 2 guess who she looks like, yall.
I'll give yall a few hints:

• She was a former it-girl from the year 2k7.
• She's married to the lead singer of the Strokes.
• She won America's Next Top Model
• She has pierced nips and wears zany hats
• It's not Uffie.
• It's not Karen O
• It's not Anne Curry/Katie Couric/Meredith Viera
• She has built her 'sexie brand' by being a lil bit androgynous and 'have a boy-like zeitgeist'
• Not sure if I'm getting people confused, but I think she was in "Boys Don't Cry" with Hillary Swank
• She's in a band
• She is talented, but her time as a relevant altMeme might be over

If yall guess who it is, yall will be entered into a drawing to win a Macbook or the progressive fashion magazines in the picture.  Good luck and I'll be liveblogging the Oscars tonight!

Kinda weird how we represent more than just 'ourselves.' Personal branding goes way beyond basic shallow stuff. We're all part of society.

These lyrics are s000 true. No matter how much some1 looks like an alt/mainstream celeb, u always gotta remember that they are somebody's daughter/son. Let's get vulnerable/raw/real.

[Reverse meme hijack via Steez]
[Photo by thecobrasnake]

Just felt like posting a meaningful meme.

Have I seen everything?
Have I discovered authenticity?
Has every original meme in the world been made?
Will music ever get better, or did it already peak in the 60s/70s/80s/90s/00s/bloghouse?
What happens if the hypemachine 'breaks down'/shuts down?
Has every alt worn every type of zany accessory there is to wear?
Has the party pic industry 'peaked'?
Am I more/less than 'just another snarky blg'?
What is gonna happen when the facehunter loses his will 2 hunt faces?
Should I turn into a krappie 'news blog' now that I have 'advertising'?
What do u want from HRO?
Should I stop blggng?

///help////

Can I die and go to heaven now that I have seen a Green Aggs an Ham DJ set?

(miss yall)

R/I/P/

Yall. I was just wondering if I should 'cross dress' for Halloween. It might be a good way for me to 'get in touch with my sexualitie.' I'm just trying to search for a costume that let's people know about my true personal brand by conveying a temporary personal brand that sort of tells people that my true personal brand is 'smart, connected, & self-aware.'

Or should I be Chewbacca/a yeti for Halloween?

[photo via Style Blog]

Or should I stick 2 my original idea of being Justice for Halloween?

[Photo by Glam Canyon]

I'm so confused, yall.

Choosing a Halloween Costume is more difficult than choosing the person that I want 2 b every other day of the year.   Halloween is just a few blog-hours away. Help. Plz.

I remember Alice Glass used to always have a 'goth highschool girl with no fashion sense' haircut/personal brand.

In this picture, she looks like she got a makeover that helps her bring out her natural alt beauty. (Natural Alt beauty is easier to attain than mainstream natural beauty.)

Don't yall think she looks like a Bizzarro Agyness now?

Are there any other Alt-Evil Twins?
Which 1 would u be in a relationship with/which1 would u tug off to if you were an entry level alt?

Does getting a little boy haircut automatically make u look like Agyness Deyn?

XX BONUS POSSIBLE ALT EVIL TWIN SET XX

The Teenagers & Justice = AltEvil Twins?

Alice Glass

Alternative Celebrity

Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.

Lists: QTs, indie songstresses, Members of Crystal Castles

Read more>>>>

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

Are Stepdad jeans/standup comedian jeans going mainstream?

[Style Bay Area]

Will Green Aggs and Hammy stay 2gether, or will they get divorced?

Will Albert Hammond Jr. love Agyness 4ever? Is it possible to love some1 even tho they have a bad haircut, or is it kind of like the implied marriage agreement where if 'some1 loses a limb/gets badly burned and their physical appearance changes, it's okay if u leave them bc they aren't the same n e more'?
[N00dz via Pedestrian blog]

Is there an age limit for being street fashion blggd about? If you street-fashion-blog-about some one over the age of 52, is it kidnapping?

[Hi Stiley]

Will my firstborn child be alt-yet-mainstream enough to be a child model for Target and appear in a free-spirited jumping ad?

[via Copyranty]

In the year 2k10, will every1's default user pic be a picture of them dressed as a Joker alt taken with their Macbook camera?

Was Donnie Darko ever really that good, or were people just trying to be deep/indie in 2k1?

Do pix of Jake Gylly make you miss Heath? Me too. :-(

Should I start shopping at Walmart now that they have a logo that makes them seem a lil more free-spirited & environmentally conscious?

I wish I could Skype with God so he could answer my questions. :-(

I was looking at this never-been-done-b4 expose on Women's Physical Self Image in Fabby Magazine, and I saw that people don't like the way AGYNESS and BETH DITTO look.
:-(

People don't like the way they look because
a) they are 2 fat
b) they look like boys (one little boy & one overweight guy who plays videogames and eats 5 Lean/Hot Pockets per day)
c) they are 2 skinny
d) they are 2 alt
e) 'real people' don't know who the hell they are
f) Gisele is rlly pretty. I wish I could be Tom 'the Alt QB' Brady
g) I just like big tittied women from the era when Playboy was synonymous with "porn." I am still in love with Pam Anderson, Jenna McCarthy, and Carmen Electra.
h) I have a dream of settling down and starting a family with an earnest female singer who plays her own instruments (Feist, Cat Power, Reggy Spekty, etc.)
i) I want to accidentally break Amy Winehouse while 'making whoopi' with her
j) I read on a message board that Beth Ditto
k) Albert Hammond Jr. makes Agyness Deyn wear possessive boyfriend jeans so that other bros & women think she is ugly/crazie
k)) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Hey yall... Sometimes, my head almost explodes from seein so many crazie people wearing these random, funnie stuff. I mean, srsly...where do these people come from? Alt Island?

Love yall...enjoy...

Seen any cute Aggys/Oliver Twists lately?

Seen any blipsters in bowties lately?

Seen n e secretive, pouty AZNs lately?

Seen n e Dreamy Boys in Picnic print shirts with flower bow ties lately?

Seen n e dark-hearted alts who stand on the sides of their feet lately?

[Click Clash]

Seen n e edgy independent films with deceased actors in them?

[s0 many photos by the facehunter]

(miss u, Ennis Del Mar)

SRSLY tho...
Should I see Dark Knight? Is it good?
Is the Dark Knight ALT because Heath is in it, and he is authentic?
Or is it mainstream because it is the biggest movie ever ($$$$$$$) and you have to sit in an IMAX movie theatre with a herd of mainstreamers?

Utilizing the 'MASHUP' technique of determining a couple's nickname has proven to take the couple's dual-brand to the next level. Thanks to HRO Commenters, we have finalized Albert Hammond Jr & Agyness Deyn's Couple Mashup Nickname.

How do yall feel about Green Aggs and Ham?

Nickname Runner-up: aggs over my hammy

3rd place nickname: 'Dem Alties

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

[Photo via Bryan Boi]
What's the deal with Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond, Jr (better known as the Freddie Prinze Jr of the Strokes)?
What do they even have in common? The experience of shopping for little boy clothes? Can we give alt-celeb couples nicknames that mashup their two names? Which one of these is the best?

1. AggyHam
2. AggyHammy
3. Alberdeyn
4. Alness
5. Hamness
6. Agmond
7. Albert Agyness Deyn Hammond Jr (I)
8. Lil Boy Curlie Hair Stroke It Girl

I think we can all just assume that Agy is trying 2 use Alby so that she can replace Julian Casablancas in the Strokes.

I don't know how I feel about this latest Alby Hammy Jr video. It seems like it was made for an entry-level artist who is 'trying too hard to make it.'

He makes a lot of weird, emotive faces that I don't think match his personal brand as the 'silent guitar player' from the Strokes.

What makes u smile?

Who is a more authentic alt couple: Ryan Adams+Mandy Moore or Aggy Hammy?

What is the deal with alt-celeb relationships? Do you think one member of the relationship has an alt-inferiority complex, and the other member develops a 'mainstream anxiety complex'?

I wish we could get past all of this mainstream vs. alt stuff and just focus on how people have beautiful insides, no matter what kind of music, films or fashion they like.

'if you love something alt, and it turns mainstream 4 u, then it is tru luv.'
-a mainstream wife who made her husband start wearing stepdad jeans

Previous pseudo-alt symbiotic relationship coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/mainstream-couples-who-people-pretend.html

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

A lot of people tell me
"plz blog abt ______"
or
"will plz u st0p blggng abt _____. no1 cares abt that fggt."
or
"hey how r u crls, luv ya nvr chng"
or
"u r fggt"
or
"plz bl0g about Sublime"
or
"don't bl0g abt stuff u don't 'get'
or
"this site helps me tug myself off"
or
"this site should burn in hell with the French after the electro war Nuclear bomb drop"
or
"bring back myspacers!"

Much like a human, I am a blog that experiences ups and downs. I have self-esteem, and sometimes I look in the bl0g mirror, and I feel a little bit uneasy. Most of the time, though, I feel as kute as an "it girl" with a kreepie stare. Sometimes I don't eat any bl0g food when I want to fit into a pair of skinny jeans for a partie, and sometimes I drink a lot of blog alcoholic energy drinks. Sometimes I get in fights with my blog BFFs, and sometimes we go out for drinks and get bl0g buzzed and have [HIGHLY MEMORABLE NIGHTS].

I am a blog. I want to be loved as much as a 20 year old human who is in his or her 'first serious relationship.' I just want 2 connect with some1, something, some blog.

Sometimes it's hard for me to know what I should bl0g about. There's just so much information out there, and so much [CONTENT WORTH BLOGGING ABOUT] that it's tough to know what deserves to get "HIPSTER RUNOFF'D!". However, I always stay str0ng, pray to the free-spirited alt-G0Ds, and f0llow my <3 (heart).

All I ever wanted to be was a bl0g w0rth bl0gging abt.
-Carles the day after HRO turned into a social networking message board livejournal xanga thingy

************
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "I dr00l over Alice Glass":

plz post ur opinions on this agyness deyne nip slip:

What's ur opinion?

[Photo by LastNightsPartieyie]

**********
j has left a new comment on your post "Happy 4th Of July (yall)!":

Are these alt?

Can yall guess who the two blondies on the left are? They look like they went out for a night of gettin' buzzed on the town. Probs had one 2 many Schmirnoff Ices, and played 1 too many drinking games revolving around the new Girl Talk album.

HINT: Here is a picture of half of their faces.

More Hints:

• They are both singers.
• They are both natural gingers.
• They were both born in Orlando, FL, and had internships at Disney World.
• They were both in the alt version of the Mickey Mouse club when they were kids.
• Both have dated members from the Strokes/the Hives/Sum 41/Franz Ferdy/the comedy gang called 'the Human Giant(s)'
• Both played softball in high school, and decided to become alt after personal renaissances during 'experimental phases.'

I can't understate how much I luv gettin buzzed with groups of my closest friends. After the night is over, and we wake up the next morning, sometimes we can't believe we r still alive. Some nights can be s0 random, full of meaningful, yet meaningless adventure. But we are young, and we will live forever. Faces come, and faces go--kind of like how part of the weekend nvr dies. _______ is where the heart is.
Love all yall. Never give up on true friendship.

[Photos by I Can Teach U How To Do it]

I wonder who this mainstreamer-gone-mainstream-alt thinks she is. Why r people so obsessed with Pandas? Is it bc they are AZN? Is it bc of the popular indie band 'The Panda Bears (ft. the Animal Collective)'?

I just don't get it. Maybe it's bc I just turned 18, so I'm not 'young & naive' n e more. Why do people wear creatures/animals? I'd rather wear apparel featuring my favourite alternative celebrities.

Hints:

• It's not Uffie.
• It's not Uffie's milkers.
• It's not Natalie Portman in Star Wars.
• The person in the picture is NOT an AZN.
• It's not MarieLynne Mans0n.
• It's not Jared Leto walking on stage to a 30 Seconds From Mars concert.
• It does have human sex organs.
• It does have a robotic tug-arm.

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

Just wondering...
What's the difference between an 'alternative celebrity look-alike' and a 'copycat'?
N e ways... gotta go buy a fanny pack to store electro lighting bolts and a Sparks rehydration system in...
Love yall. What alternative item will u store in your fanny pack in 2k10?

[Photo by Street Clash]

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

Part of me started to think that Agyness was really cool because she invented the female cowlick in this picture.

However, upon researching at the Public Library, I discovered that Agyness did not create that look, nor was she the 'it-girl'-est person to ever wear it. Let us never forget Cameron Diaz's role in There's Something About Mary.

Cameron Diaz was gelling her hair with cum before n e of us even knew what it was to be 'alt.'

Do research, yall. Don't just believe everything u see, or else u'll end up living in the janitor's closet of a popular nightlife hotspot.

[Photo By Dirty Dirty Dancing]

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

UFFIE + JUICY NIPS = [MORE BLOGGABLE THAN 95% OF BANGERS FROM THE BANGER ERA]
I hope Uffie continues to wear see-thru tops, just so blggrs can still blog about her. She looks kute, though. I think she bleached her eyebrows.

"With nips that juicy, how can u not blog abt them?"
-The World's Top 10 Music Blogs

Note: There are a dozen more Uffie Nip Pix at this link. Which 1 is gonna be ur desktop background?
http://www.icanteachyouhowtodoit.com/madameparis

xx BONUS 'It Girl' Coverage XX

Agyness Deyn and Uffy, also known as the ideal slices of bread in an ALT BRO sandwich

The Era of DJ Mom Jeans is Over. What do you think her DJ Name is?

Dear HRO, Plz Stop Blggng Abt My GF's Nips. Luv, Mr. Uffie [via Bros In Justice Jackets]

[Photos by ICan'tTEachYouHowToDoIt]

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Lists: it girls, slutwave, QTs, indie songstresses

Read more>>>>

IS HIPSTER RUNOFF TURNING INTO AN ALT LITTLE BOY KIDDIE P0RN BL0G?

HINT: It's not Jonathan Lipnicki.

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>

I started LET'S GET VULNERABLE to try to get closer to my readers. I want to be one of your best friends. I want to preparty with you and listen to faggy electro, then get buzzed, then have a fun night where meaningful stuff happens, then talk about how funnn it was the next day with you.

Please open up to me, and I'll open up 2 u.
HERE ARE QUESTIONS FROM REAL HRO READERS.
***************
***************
***************
Catherine asks: how should i cut my bangs?

HRO SAYS:
Make them RLLY KUTE. U should cut a picture of a person that u like out of a magazine, then take that picture to the local Supercuts, then say 'make me look like this bitch.' Then when she's like "who is that? Why do you want to look like a little boy?" You can say 'She's an IT GIRL.'

Or maybe just get a Tegan and Sara haircut and pretend you are in your pixie lezbo-ish phase.

***************
Isabel: is it slutty if I practice giving tugjobs to random boys at parties in preparation for when I finally enter a loving, steady relationship with an [ALT]boi who will appreciate my skills?

HRO SAYS:
U r making the world a better place. Alt bro suicide has been happening a lot lately, and when you tug a guy, he'll like you for the next 4 years. Even if you don't date him, or tell him that you 'just need space' but make out with him every other weekend for 3 months, he will stay alive because he thinks one day he will get to 'make love' to you. Don't feel bad. You'll find the alpha altbro of your dreams before you even know it! Hang in there, girl! NO REGRETS.

Tug like you want the meaningful jizz of an altbro to shower all over u.

***************
TORONTBRO says:
k so here is my advice question but plz dont publish my name or email it would ruin my reputation

k so like a year ago i was big in the toronto hipster scene and i went out every night and was photographed alot etc etc. but then through a series of events (ie starting school, a bad relationship etc) i kinda escaped from 'the scene' and now i am reentering but some people that were minor and gross back in the day now rule the scene and are the queen ugly hipsters and they totes know who i am and give me cut eye to the max. like even this past year if i saw them on the street i would get cut eye and here them talk. i dont know what to do because other then these peeps being wildly lame they rule the club scene and i cant even hit the clubs without rumors starting. i feel like lohan. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

thanks love you hipster runoff

HRO SAYS:
I feel like Lohan a lot, too, but mainly bc I have a drug probbers :-( . It sucks when u step away from the scene, and then the uggos take over! They don't even listen to good music, just that All-American Rejects type of shit. You have a few options.
1) Date Rape the scene queens
2) Move to a new major metropolitan area and become 'the new alt kid in town'
3) Build a time machine and go back in time so you can get your life back
4) Start a blog to let Toronto know how u feel.
I'm really sorry about your bad relationship. You might just want to get into a new relationship where the girl is as interested in achieving social status as u r, instead of being the couple that 'has to prove that they are above all of the bullshit drama shit bullshit fake stuff bullshit.' Kind of like these people

Photo by thecobrasnake]
***************
Senior in HS WRITES:

dear HRO bloggor,

next year I will be going to Rhode Island School of Design as an art major.
how can I get the hottest alt-chicks with the most accessories?
how can I transition from being the chillest alt bro in a nyc suburb to being surrounded by people more creative and artistic than me?
I mean, my graphic tee collection is okay, but I've never met Steve Akoi.

Im in desperate need of help, please answer

HRO SAYS:
Many people have not met Steve Aoki, but the important part is that you look at him once a week in party pix. It's basically the same as being on a celebrity's buddy list. Have confidence in your personal brand. Don't wear too much American Apparel too early... You don't want people to think that you have outsourced your personal style choices in a bad way. Being from an NYC suburb is a lot closer to coolness than most of the people you will encounter. They will have to try way harder than you. Just make sure to establish yourself early as 'the dbag who thinks he knows everything about alternative topics' as opposed to letting some other dbag take that position. If you establish yourself as the alpha-Design Student, you will be fingerbanging graduate students before you know it.
Here's a copy of my fave book. It's about architecture and 'being a strong person.' Maybe u could read it?


*********
so confuzed asks:
should i go to design school and major in fashion? OR should i go to fashion school and major in design?
what should i do about darfur? is it too early to have an ironic fundraising party? should i wait another year? will darfur still be around?
one more carles, if you have a minute. if i can't get a job at a coffee shop this summer and have to work at coldstone creamery (again), should i end it all?

HRO SAYS:
NO MATTER WHAT U DO, U WILL FIND URSELF. Don't waste your time worrying about Darfur. It will be wiped out with the rest of the world in 2012. Just suck it up and work at Coldstone Creamery. Become really good friends with the people who work there, and develop your own inside jokes and go to Chili's after work. Even though they are kinda mainstream, they will help u realize that you just want real friends, not something as fleeting as alternative social status. Working in a coffee shop is usually a bad idea unless you are like 29 and didn't go to college but still think you are an important member of society because of your self-proclaimed intellect.

You should seriously consider going pre-med or maybe even pursuing your master's in Accounting.

You haven't lived until you have mixed various candy and nuts into old people's ice cream.

**********
ALTBRO VS. ALTBRO WRITES:
Dear hipster runoff

If your bro is still wearing neon t-shirts and ironic glasses that he found at a Goodwill to clubs and all the alt girls will not even take him seriously as a wingman because all the other dudes are wearing muted american app hoodies and aNYthing tees, how do you tell him he is giving everyone douche chills and needs to change his ways without hurting his feelings?
yours sincerely, alt bros dressing better 4 2K9.

HRO SAYS:
Alt Bro Packs make decisions as one, and you need to do your part to influence all of your bros to stop being FGGTs. Non-self aware alt bros don't have real feelings. All t
hey can feel is angst and jealousy. Most of their problems comes from 'social frustration' and they would trade their mother's life for an opportunity to have been a Crombie in 6th grade. Don't take non-self-aware altbros seriously just because you deal with how pathetic they are on a daily basis. They will call you next weekend to find out where the party is.

[Photo by Lzrfangz]
Do alt bros REALLY have feelings worth worrying about?

********
CHILDPREDATOR WRITES:
carles
i got some serious issues i'm nearing death (28) and the only p00n i seemed to be getting is from drunk ass slutty hipster 15-17 year olds (girlz/boyz). i pretend to be 20 cause i have bad complexion, and my mom tells me i deserve to be on dateline's to catch a predator. moms has also stopped speaking to me, and demanded that i see a counselor. all this has been making me feel like i am matthew mcconaughey in dazed and confused, i just can't stop dry humping minors, what should i do?

HRO SAYS:
There's no real age limit when it comes to banging alternative broads. It's sort of like a social contract that 'if you are underaged and partying, you openly want to be violated by an alternative older man.' There's no such thing as an alternative predator. Look for more kreeps to start being alts, since the parents of alt-teen-sluts don't really mind when some old dude who 'thinks he is so goddamn cool' starts banging their 15 year old daughter.

Agyness Deyn is actually a 13 year old boy from Utah.
*********

<3 <3 <3
I HOPE YOU FOUND THIS ADVICE TO BE USEFUL, AND YOU CAN APPLY IT TO YOUR DAILY LIFE. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS THAT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT. HRO IS ONE OF THE ONLY TRUE FRIENDS YOU HAVE. YOU CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING. SEND ME GMAILS, OR JUST LEAVE COMMENTS WITH ADVICE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE PROBLEMS.

WE ARE LIKE A FAMILY, YALL. NEVER FORGET WHO UR REAL ONLINE FRIENDS ARE...

LET'S GET VULNERABLE
<3 <3 <3

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

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You probably remember AZN neon plaid eyepatch dude.

An HRO intern brought to my attention that the AZN is actually attempting to be 'it girl' Agyness Deyn.

Do most AZNs try to be white people or black people?
Or are AZNs just being AZNs?
Or are we all just trying to be Agyness Deyn?

Agyness Deyn

Alternative Celebrity

Agyness Deyn is a model and 'it girl'

Lists: it girls, Models, British

Read more>>>>