ALL | ALT REPORT | CLASSIC
Alta Mira NYC
The International Symbol of AZN


No matter which type of AZN food you purchase, it will usually taste the same (plus or minus a lil bit of spiciness). Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Thais, and other miscellaneous AZNs who have 'branded' their countries' food have one thing in common: The Smiley Face Takeout Bag.

The smiley face takeout bag represents unity amongst all AZNS. No matter their shade of brownish/white, all AZNs unite behind a single yellow face. A face that is happy to be alive. A face that isn't afraid to smile. A face that is eager to share a lil bit of their culture with u.

We could learn a lot from AZNs, kinda like how we are learning a lot from Barry Obammy. Maybe we should all be a lil bit AZN, yall. Next time I order AZN takeout food, I'm going to save the bag. I'm going to put it on my wall so that my friends know that I am a tolerantBro.

Should I become an AZN?
Has any other group of peopleses united behind a similar symbol? (not a history major)

[Photo by AltaMiraNYC]

Forever Young Alts

How old is this alt: 12 years old or 52 years old?

Forever Young Alts never age. They never appear to get older. They don't appear to have a definite gender.

You can't tell how old ForeverYoungAlts are. He or she might be an 11 year old whose parents make too much money and let them go on an alt-shopping spree, or possibly a 52 year old who worked in graphic design before Adobe even existed.

Forever Young Alts (4.E.Y.A.) might be into relevant stuff, or they might be into retro stuff. They also might be into what Gen Xers thought was cool in the 1990s (purgatory interests).
In addition, you can't tell where Forever Young Alts are from. This person might be from suburban Ohio (visiting NYC with a church group) or it might be from 1970s Liverpool. It might even be from some sort of spaceship that dropped off ambiguously gendered beings.

In addition, you can't tell if Forever Young Alts are 'masculine little girls' or 'feminine little boys.'

Forever Young alts have strict diets that keep them from aging. They sleep in hyperbaric chambers with built in iPod touch controls/mp3 player functionality.

Have u seen n e Forever Young Alts walking the streets lately? How do you find out information about them? Communicating with a 4.E.Y.A. can be difficult because you don't really know where/when they are from or what they are into.

[Photo by AltaMiraNyc]

They don't make meaningful cinema like they used to :-(