HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo by Ian Witlen via SPIN

BroStepper: Yo, Skrill. Stop the music. I got something I've been meaning 2 do for a long time.
Skrillex: My Name Is Skrillex.

The Brostepper Brings his DubRaverBB on stage. She is confused, has no idea what is going on.

BroStepper: BB. I've been thinking a lot about us...
DubRave-BB: I was actually really enjoying that Skrillex show...
BroStepper: We've had a lot of fun on the Holy Ship, I feel like we're finally with our people.
DubRave-BB: Why did u stop the music? Can we have this conversation later?
BroStepper: I mean like, I REALLY love u... It's not the aluminum bottles of Bud Heavy talking
DubRave-BB: I think u have a drinking problem.
BroStepper: BABE. LISTEN 2 ME.
DubRave-BB: Ugh...
BroStepper: I mean, I just like REALLY, REALLY effing vibe 2 u.
DubRave-BB: I know, I know. Let's talk later plz.
BroStepper: U are the wompwomp in the beat of my heart. U are the bass that dropped in my life and changed my metaphorical DJ set. Without u, I am constant wah-wah, no stable vibes. I need you... That's why I wanted to ask you.

The Brostepper gets down on one knee. Takes out electro wedding ring.

DubRave-BB: OMG!!!!!!!
BroStepper: Babe. I really love you babe.
DubRave-BB: OMFG!!!!!
BroStepper: And I want you to be my...
DubRave-BB: ROTFOMGMAO!!!!
BroStepper: I want to go to every rave with u forever and drop molly with u...
DubRave-BB: OMGGGGG!!!!!
BroStepper: I want u to be my +1 for the rest of time...
DubRave-BB: U GOTTA BE FREAGGIN KIDDING ME!
BroStepper: When I'm with u, I just feel like I'm always in the VIP section
DubRave-BB: LOLMG!!
BroStepper: U held my hand when I started to cry when I got that tattoo
DubRave-BB: ME??????
BroStepper: And I asked ur dad, and he told me that I didn't have stable income, and he encouraged me to get a stable job, but I don't care, because I know we can be happy....
DubRave-BB: BABE!
BroStepper: Will u be my wife?
DubRave-BB: Yes!

Skrillex begins to play a meaningful dubstep track.

BroStepper: This is our long drive, bb.
DubRave-BB: Sigh...
BroStepper: Tonight, we have it all...
DubRave-BB: Tonight, we have eachother...
BroStepper: This must be para, para, paradise [via the Coldplays]
DubRave-BB: When I was a young girl, I always imagined that this is how my true love would ask me to marry me. I'm not one for romanticism, but right now, I know that you are my soulmate.
BroStepper: God Bless Us, every relevant dubstream electrocouple.

The night rolled on, and Skrillex played an amazing set. The newly engaged couple both did molly. The DubRave-BB ended up making out with a relevant DJ. BroStepper was devastated. He started getting AGGRO with his dubBros, and they were kicked out of the nightclub. They managed to start a fight with the bouncers, and were nearly beaten to death. As he made his way back to his room, he contemplated throwing himself off the Holy Ship. He decided against it. He knew that one day, he would find true DubLove again.

Skrillex

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Skrillex is a popular dubstep DJ who is arguably the #1 alt DJ in the world.

Lists: indie hunks, Producers, electro, dubstep

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I've finally found the right person for me. An individual. A beautiful individual. A beautiful individual who has the same deep appreciation for the work of the most brilliant American director of all time--Wes Anderson.

Every1 needs to know
a) we are a bad ass couple
b) we 'genuinely get along'
c) we luv Rushmore
d) we vibe 2 the Ranal Tenenbombs
e) just wanna live in a life aquatic
f) going on a honeymoon to the Darjeleengs Unlimited in India
g) Riding a Bottle Rocketwave
h) we h8 M. Night Shamalyan
i) Mary Scorsayzee is overrated
j) save the d8, bitches!

Really feel like I made a great personal branding choice by aligning my brand with this human.

Do u think their wedding 'save the date' video 'crushed it', or do they need to hire a professional cinematographer?

Even though all weddings are 'basically the same', we want u to know that our wedding will have a conceptual edge.

gonna take pix with vintage 80s film cameras. There won't be a digital footprint of our wedding. We will have a photo/film exhibition every 10 years so we can celebrate 2gthr.

We will be renting Vespas 4 every1 to ride 2 the wedding.

We won't have a DJ, but we encourage every1 to bring vintage vinyl albums that we can take turns playing.

We encourage every1 to bring a Criterion Collection DVD in lieu of mainstream gifts from IKEA/Bed Bath and Beyond/Bloomingdales/Crate & Cracker Barrel.

Feeling alive.
So many ppl are scared to get married
but they probably haven't found the right partner.
A partner who gets 'mad blazed'
and watches relevant indie films with them

I feel like Wes is God
and we have created a relationship
that creates a triangle of trust/<3
and all love is built on the strength of Wes Anderson [link]

Is this couple 'kute' / 'authentic'?
Do u think they will get divorced/raise child prodigies [via the Royal Tenenbaums]?
Do u think they will raise a Schwartzman?
Do u think Bill Murray will priside over their wedding?
Is Wes Anderson's aesthetic dated/overrated?
Is it still 'alt' to <3 Wes Anderson?
Is Wes Anderson for 2k0 entry levelers?
Will Wes Anderson ever make a great film again, or is he on the 'filmmaking shitlist' after the meaningful quirkie indie life dramedy movie bubble burst?
Do u hope u find an authentic partner?

Wes Anderson

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Wes Anderson is a popular indie filmmaker & director who directed the hit films Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tanenabombs, and Lost in Garden State.

Lists: indie hunks, Wes Anderson Mafia, indie film, Texans

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As yall know, I haven't been posting as much lately. I have some great news to relay to yall. I finally got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and we even had one of my art school bros create a video for us that is really in line with our alternative brand. So many tacky ass people get standard wedding photographers to document their weddings. I think the goal of those photographers is to 'make the bride look skinny', and justify the groom's role in the wedding by taking a few meaningful 'bro pix' that really make it clear that the groomsmen are an 'authentic can of bros.'

N e ways, our conceptual video turned out pretty amazingly. We used the hit song "Sleepyhead" by the Passion Pits as 'our song' since it really represented our 'new lease on life.'

Just wanted every1 at the wedding to 'know who we are'
'what we're all about'
Understand that we are more than just 'any other lame couple'
who is uniting together for tax benefits

Beautiful ceremony
Beautiful bros
Beautiful bitches
Walking around conceptually
moving arms, facing zany angles
metaphor 4 how we are 'obtuse as shit' in a right angled society

Eff dress shoes
Wearing some Converse
[via Best Coast / Vampy Weekend collab]

Feel like everything was perfect
for 1 night
we were all sleepie heads
A feast
a carnival
a partie
an electro rave without any deaths
Feel like my immediate family
and my extended family
finally realized 'who I am' as an alternative person
and how I 'see the world' in a different/abstract way

Just want to drive away with my lover
Riding the minivan wave
2 our honeymoon on the concrete beaches of Brooklyn

Are yall gonna have an alt wedding?
What indie song is going to be 'yalls song'?
Did this video 'kill it'?
Is this couple 'the most authentic couple in the world'?
Do u think they will be happy forever, or will they get divorced when 1 of them decides that Passion Pit is 'too entry level' 4 them, then the other 1 gets defensive because the song 'means a lot' 2 them?
What are u gonna do at ur wedding to make sure u don't have a mainstream, middle class wedding?
Do u feel sad when u see high school/college acquaintances 'getting married', 'looking happy', and ultimately having an upper-middle class tacky-wave wedding?
If ur not going to be rich, is the only thing left to do with ur life 'get married and pop/poop out a few kids'?

Passion Pit

Passion Pit is a bleepy bloop indie pop band that tons of entry-level alts <3.

Lists: 2k9 buzzbands, mindie (mainstream indie)

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Hey guys,
As you know, I haven't really been blogging much lately. Sometimes I get so caught up in the internet that I forget to have real life goals, and experience real life joys. It's really tough to be a blogger, because it's like a social responsibility. At this point, I 'can't stop', I can't just decide to stop generating memes. There is a buzz economy that depends on me.

Anyways, I have some really awesome developments in my life. I got effing married! Effing sweet, amirite? Hells yeas.
I embedded some video footage from our wedding in the top of this post. My wife and I decided that we wanted to walk down the aisle to Animal Collective's hit song "My Girl." We hired an AnCo cover band to play the song (The name of their band is called The Brother Sports if you want to hire them, they also played the after party).

It was a really festive experience. We got all of the members of the party to do 'conceptual dances' as we walked down the aisle. Even though every1 at our wedding were old mainstreamers, they all seemed to understand the celebratory vibes of the song. They knew that we were simple people who didn't care about material things, who just wanted to build an adobe house for our children.

Her dad was kinda pissed, i think, because he just wanted us to walk down the aisle to the traditional wedding song. He doesn't understand that we used the #1 song of the 2k0 decade. Maybe he'll understand in a few years.

Anyways, yall... I'm married now. I'm sure the way that I blog is gonna change. When u read my writing, u'll sense a lot of joy and positivity in my life. I will probably also get 'more conservative' because I want to protect my traditional alternative family.

Every time u hear 'My Girls', think about my wedding, and how awesome my life is now that I have found 'the one.' The one who is willing to walk down the aisle while an Animal Collective cover band plays.

What buzzworthy song will u play at ur wedding?
Do u wish u had a group of bros who knew how to 'cover' Animal Collective?
How will u make ur alternative wedding 'more meaningful' than just a mainstream wedding?
Is 'getting married' a good idea, or will every1 get divorced?
If u and ur partner have a strong bond built on indie and chillwave music, will ur love survive?

XX BONUS ALTERNATE ANGLE

view video HERE if above vid doesn't work...think they took it down from youtube bc of me. Worried.

The goal of any union between any man and woman is to prove to one another + the world that your bond is stronger than any other bond between any two other people in the history of the world. Your relationship must have a goal. It must generate a product, brand, or aesthetic that lets people know that your relationship is the most meaningful bond ever--even more meaningful than the bond between God and his cranky ol' wife. It seems like this relationship between 'Jeff' and 'Erin' is incredibly meaningful, and not just because they are breaking racial barriers.

Would u ever make a viral vid with ur soulmate about yalls relaish/eternal bond?

It really feels like we are entering the golden age of 'ppl trying to go viral so that they can feel 150% more meaningful' than the status quo of their lives'. I have always wondered what it will be like to 'plan my wedding', like if it will be stressful, and I will just say 'yes' to everything that my fiance suggests. But now it seems like the goal of a wedding has to be 'creating a crazie viral moment' that the entire internet can share. Then u end up being interviewed on the Today Show or something as a 'human interest' piece that inspires Middle American women 2 resent their non-creative type work horse simpleton husbands more than evr.

I feel like this video sort of documents the struggles of small AZN people, and their desire to be white. It also documents the struggles of plain white females, and their desire to have a creative identity. Just feel awkward when white people date 'outside of their race' in an effort to 'seem more cultured/less boring' or something.

Ultimately, I feel worried about their relationship. I am not sure if they will ever create anything more 'meaningful'/'viral' than this video, even if they create a child. It seems like they would probably have to make a viral video of their child's birth, perhaps something involving kittens coming out of Erin's womb. JeffAznBro is probably the 'creative' one, who can make 'sweet vids', but their end product kinda worries me. Even if this is supposed to just 'mock' traditional movie trailers, the ideas+brands+gimmicks that they have imported to represent their story prove that they have no identity. Like they have a vision of 'how they are supposed 2 feel', but have no ability to feel anything real. Seems like their whole relaish is just 'smoke and mirrors', kinda like Hollywood/Bollywood.

Do u think Jeff and Erin are going 2 'make it' because they are two like-minded ppl who created something beautiful?
Will their AZN + white identities keep them 2gether forever?
Is their movie not believable, because no white woman would go on a date with a tiny AZN man, even if he was 'AZN buff' [via karate + xtreme sports]?
Do u ever think they are on a date, and some1 thinks that she 'adopted' him from a North Korean adoption catalog of AZNs?
Do u think Jeff & Erin studios could produce my script for Garden State 2: Braffy's revenge that I have been working on?

r u gonna get married or be alone 4evr?
r u gonna go viral, or live ur meaningless small scale life 4evr?
Should I buy an HD cammy and upload some viddies into the yewtewb?
Are AZNs creative, or do they just listen to Linkin Park, watch scifi action movies with fast cars in them, and work on turning their functional Honda/Civic/Toyota into a rice rocket?
R u gonna die alone, or would u chill with a metaphorical Erin/Jeff 4evr?

Previous zany meaningful wedding memes
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/07/white-people-must-go-to-extremes-to-make-a-life-event-seem-meaningful.html

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/my-meaningful-alternative-wedding.html

Life is very hard for most white people, because they are 'so ordinary.' Their expectations of 'how things should feel' are constructed by watching 80s, 90s, and 00s cinema. Mainly movies like bromances, romantic comedies, comedies, and miscellaneous 'bad ass movies.' They just need life to 'seem like a movie' or something. Seems like average white people don't understand the insignificance of who they are as '1 person', and don't accept that they are just part of a larger white mass. They fight against this feeling of 'being ordinary' by trying to construct meaningful moments that seem like they are 'straight out of a movie.'

In this video, there are 2 people 'getting married.' I think that when people get married, they attempt to showcase their life to the large gathering of extended-family and acquaintances. This is their opportunity to 'once and for all' tell you that their life will be better than yours, because they will be sharing it with some one beautiful, funny, smart, and some who just 'knows how 2 enjoy life.' Think that this moment is supposed to tell people sitting in the church that 'life is beautiful' and that this group of friends is 'incredibly meaningful.' Instead of conforming to the 'traditional standards' of a wedding procedure, these people want to make things seem 'spontaneous' or something. They want spectators to feel 'joy'/'jealousy' about these two people uniting.

Sorta wish I had a core group of middle aged friends who would do this for me. Seems like all u can really want out of life is to 'perform' one 'great moment' in front of a room of old people who are clapping along to some 'hip hop song.' Can't believe they picked a Chris Brown song after he 'beat the shit' out of his girlfriend and ate her arm. Maybe they should have selected a song by a white artist, but that might not have been 'upbeat' enough.

I feel scared of 'getting married' because of the process of 'having a wedding.' Seems like some sort of event for your 'extended family' to reunite at, or something. Not sure if my group of friends 'care' enough to do something 'meaningful' that would make all of the 'spectators who just came to my wedding for a free meal/hopes of an open bar' view my life as 'awesome.' Weddings seem like they are 'for ass holes' or something. Aren't they 'expensive'? Seems fiscally irresponsible to have 'a huge wedding' unless you aren't marrying some middle-class person who is just like u, and u 'hit the jackpot' by marrying a 'rich significant other whose parents want them to have a meaningful wedding to show off how much money they have.'

Sorta just hope that my wedding presents an opportunity to film an organic viral meme.
Might start a blog about 'things that average white people think are meaningful'/a documentation of 'white ppls struggle' and how 'we' as white ppl have had more hardships (psychologically) than most other races + ethnic groups.

R yall gonna get married, and what will u do at ur wedding 2 make sure that ppl know that u 'get' why life is 'beautiful'?
If u r a white reader, do u ever wish u could pull a 'reverse Michael Jackson'?

Previous Wedding/Marriage Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/my-meaningful-alternative-wedding.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/02/we-are-looking-forward-to-our-alternative-wedding.html

My alternative wedding will be meaningful.
Our alternative love will last forever [via digital photographs //converted into HIGHLY BLGGBLE internet memes]
This is authentic alternative love.

Our wardrobe will be custom tailored [remixed] thrift store clothes.

I will invite all of my alternative friends to my wedding. It will be awkward because my wife/husband and I will invite a great deal of our extended families. Most of them are conservative, and might not understand my friends & our lifestyle. We will justify ourselves' to them by the end of the evening. They will understand that we are young and we are part of something bigger than ourselves'.

I will do whatever it takes our relatives get involved. I want them to have fun, and understand that my wedding is a Concept Experience. I will hand out moustaches as a symbol of unity. Even if my relatives 'don't get' why they are putting on a moustache, they will laugh about it and have fun after a few glasses of Franzia. I will give them a website where their pictures will be posted. They will be impressed that I know so much about technology, and excited to use their new Dell Photo printer.

Even my conservative Uncle let loose and 'became 1' with the wedding party. I was relieved. I compromised my progressive views on 'faith' and let a preacher marry us just to make my mom happy. It felt good to see her happy, even if I don't believe in what she believes in.

This is my meaningful alternative wedding.

Do yall have any meaningful gimmicks planned 4 ur weddings 2 ensure that u make things meaningful, approachable for mainstreamers, and authentic for your innerAltExpectations?

[Photos via Merge Weddings//Meme via OffBeatBride]

It's nice to see that LASTNIGHTSPARTIE expanded into wedding photography in a recent photoset. However, it didn't really seem like the kind of wedding that you could invite your conservative aunt and uncle to, because there were still B00Bz and FNGRBNGNG pictures.

I heard getting buzzed and taking FNGNRBNGNG pictures is the new 'getting buzzed and taking pictures with Photobooth on your new white Macbook.'

Sidenote: Did you hear that JUSTICE composed "D.A.N.C.E." on a midi-keyboard while fingerbanging a [BARELY LEGAL] slut?

View More Beautiful Wedding Photos Here:
[http://www.lastnightsparty.com/weddingbellsedit/]

Drunk Creepster Headband Gaze + Girl Who Prematurely Invested in a Tattoo Sleeve and now must engineer her personal look to mix today's fashion trends with her tats from the last decade = True Love?

Sometimes, it's easy to understand why your parents don't respect your 'serious relationships.'

[Image by Last Night's DankFest]