HIPSTER RUNOFF

Yall. As yall know I freelance as a techblogger at TechnicalCrunch and Valleybro sometimes, giving product reviews of some of the most influential gadgets in the history of our modern society. Today I want to blog about the new Amazon Kindle DX.

This is the Amazon Kindle DX. I think it is handheld and has a touch screen instead of a keyboard. Picture taken at the Apple keynote seminar web conference.

From what I understand, it is a computer that gives you only the things that you need--email, google searches, facebook, myspace, twitter, pdf reader, and iTunes. Instant messenger is a $25 monthly fee. You never actually have to 'buy the computer', u just rent it on a month-to-month basis. This is the new pricing model for laptops in the future.

I think that his is going to be marketed to college students and tweens, sort of like facebook. They will use it 'on the go' to find out movie times and stuff like that. They will listen to podcasts.

I think the point of this new gadget is that you get to 'doodle' on it, or something. Similar to the EtchaSketch.

I am not sure if I will get the $50 a month cell phone plan that it can be used with because I already have an iPhone contract. The USB adapter that is require to turn on the cell phone satellite is bulk, and often causes the system to overheat and shut down. This can be annoying in coffee shops where I use my lappy to look busy/scan facebook.

I think it will be important for the Kindle to develop 'apps.' In the future, the Kindle will also come out in a series of warm colours, so that u can show off ur personality better. Unfortunately, the Kindle does not load blogs or any site with an RSS feed, since it is intended to only showcase 'books' and 'pdf files.'

According to industry insiders and experts, Apple has already panicked, and this is what the next Macbook will look like. (Photos exclusive to hipsterrunoff.com. please do not repost--link to this page.)

as u can see, in the future, computers will not have physical keyboards. Keyboards actually have a high carbon footprint, and people don't buy things with high carby footies any more, sort of like how Hummer is 'going under.' The user actually has 'a more meaningful' experience on this 'mega iPhone netbook' which is actually an 18 inch flat screen that u carry around.

I feel overwhelmed by the future of technology. I don't really ever know what to buy because things are moving so fast. I just got a white Macbook and I feel like 'a fucking poor loser.' I feel 'addicted' to touch screen technology, and sometimes I touch the screen of my desktop to click on a hyperlink, but nothing happens. I am not sure who I am any more, and I don't know if technology makes my life better.

This is a post about wanting to live in nature with an iPod shuffle pre-loaded with early Animal Collective songs.

In an effort to stay modern and current, I will start reviewing more gizmos and gadgets. It's just part of the modern world, yall. If u want 2 be interesting, u have to 'want' new 'communication devices' and stuff like that. Having a phone with web browsing capabilities may or may not be more important than owning Merriweather Post Pavillion. This is a post about technology cuz we are living in the modern world where people start to want gadgets that they read about at tech rumor blogs.

Product Name: iPhone Raw Nano
Manufacturer: Apple
Lead Designer: Steve Jobs, an JAPANAZN bro, and a swiss coolhunting blogger
Photograph:

Overall grade: 4 out of 5 AZN sweatshop tweens
Review: The iPhone Raw is Steve Jobs'es answer to the Google Blackberry phone. As opposed to focusing on what Google does better, it tried to appeal to an older audience, focusing on the 'book reading' aspects of the iPhone, stripping away features like the actual telephone and the vibrant application market. In addition, there is no longer storage for mp3s or windows media files.

However, the new iPhone is a lot like a book. U can download books, and read them. In order to be a 'greener' product, the new iPhone does not have a colour display, nor does it have a multitouch or single-touch screen. In order to challenge existing design constructs and get us back to our glory days, there are a lot of buttons, and an entire keyboard. There is no facebook access on this device, but they are working on a Twitter fixpack.

I can see this new iPhone appealing to a lot of authentic tech heads who understand design and 'want to get back to basics.' U might also want 2 get one for ur parents as they grow older and still love to read books. Kinda confused about what I would do with it, but I'm sure it comes with some cool games like Solitaire, Spider Solitaire, Jezzball, Snake, Ski Fri, or Battle Chess.

Apple has once again mastered design and identified a need that we didn't even know we wanted. Kinda like when the iPhone came out and I waited in line for 30 days to make sure I got one. Then I took a poop and used my phone while feces dropped out of my body. It was a metaphor.

___________________________
Carles is a Tech Beat Writer for HIPSTERRUNOFF.com and a contributor to TechBros Magazine.

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Are yall gonna get an iPhone?
OR do u think ur gonna have some1 put a desktop computer in2 ur tummie?

[Photo by Preggers Goldfish]
Some people fear death. Some people fear murder.
I think it would be terrible to die at the hands of:
a) an altClown JasonMasked sneakerfreak with a tat sleeve & a necklace designed by Masterlock
b) an escapee from an alternative asylum where the mandatory wardrobe includes eye makeup masks, a straight jacket by Marc (via Marc Jacobs) and some kutesy striped undies
c) an AZN DJ
d) a failed alt
e) a festivalBro on LSD during a Jack Johnson/Crystal Castles Show
f) a trivial electro producer who was angry that his track was only blurbed about once on a now defunct blog that posted pretty much anything
g) a hipsterrunoff// commenter
h) a child predator
i) an alt in Child Predator Glasses
j) Choose.Your.Own.Murderer

XX BONUS GRANDMA FROM THE FUTURE XX

[Photo by AltaMira NYC]
In the future, retirement homes will be replaced with scooters and old people will be given Amazon Kindles by the government.

The Amazon Kindle: It's like a book on a screen, and u can read blogs on it too!

I wonder if they I can plug it into my iPod FeistChromatics Nano and get my iPod to speak the words in the book.