I was ‘completely unaware’ that clubbing seals was a huge problem in our world. I have honestly never seen any1 wearing or eating seal. For some reason, I have ‘never had a desire’ to wear seal/miscellaneous exotic animal fur. It seems out of my price range, since I am just a suburban upper-middle class alt, and I would rather spend that kind of money on consumer technology instead of clothes. Maybe if Am Appy ‘branded’ animal fur, I would be interested.

Clubbing seals ’seems unchill.’ Like some1 who listens to horrorcore music would be a seal clubbing bro.

I feel like ’seal clubbing bros’ should be eliminated from the Earth. I am glad that I learned about this cause. I have an opinion about it, and I understand that is wrong, but I am not sure what else I can do to prevent companies and humans from clubbing seals. It seems unchill to skin animals just to wear them. Like the people who value animal fur are ’severely troubled’ and have ‘a very stupid perspective of the world’–like they didn’t go to school and learn stuff. I think that some1 needs to make a movie about seals similar to ‘March of the Penguins’ so that people think that seals can have a group brand that is ‘cute enough to save/care about.’ It seems like humans care about cute animals.

Really just happy that AnCo ‘made it.’ Feel happy that a band from my range of tastes has ascended into ‘activist relevancy.’

Can’t believe AnCo is such a relevant celebrity. As famous as the homosexual blogger, Pedro Hilton.

Even larger than the star of the recent teen dramedy “She’s All That.”

AnCo can do as much change as the world for star of ‘Laguna Beach Cribs’, Brody Jenner.

I feel excited for AnCo. A lot of people think that AnCo ‘is going to cross over.’ They keep waiting to hear them on the mainstream radio. I feel like ‘lending ur brand’ to a PETA campaign seems like u have ‘made it.’ Like if Pitchfork had some sort of ‘humanitarian ratings’, this would probably be around a 9.6.

Celebrities Speak Out Against the Seal Slaughter.

‘U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of fabrics.’
-Panda Bear, 2k9.8

‘U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of sounds.’
-Panda Bear, 2k4evr

Feel like my whole life make sense now that ‘Animal Collective’ has truly become 1 with the Animal Kingdom Collective of Real Animals.

Honestly feel sad/disturbed after watching seals being murdered. Will probably think of seals being clubbed every time I listen to AnCo from now on, even when the themes are happy. :-(

Vintage HRO post [via 2k8.1]
Remember the time Panda Bear and his wife designed hoodies?

Previous Animal Rights Posts
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/animal-rights

2 of the most relevant bands of the year, Phoenix and Animal Collective ‘collab’ to output a remix of some song. I feel like this takes me back to the bloghouse era, when the most relevant bloghouse bands would create alt-synergy by remixing one another. We have possibly never seen a collab on this level in the history of the indiesphere. Wish I could be an entry level music criticism bro so that I could ‘get pumped for hearing this mp3 for the first time’ and then ‘talk myself into the mp3 being 70% better than it actually is.’ Would possibly create a writeup that utilized the word ‘pop’ in some ‘descriptive’ phrase like ‘melted pop sensibilities.’ I will also use of the word ‘textural.’ In addition, this theoretical writeup/review would include commentary on the state of modern indie music and the effects of ‘internet hype’, eventually losing focus on analysis of the actual song. My writeup would include between 5-10 hyperlinks to previous AnCo+Phoenix content that my blogsite had generated.

I feel like this remix is possibly ‘forgettable’, or it is possibly ‘Phoenix in their natural form.’ While Phoenix’s songs are ‘catchy’, it is impossible to decipher ‘what the fuck they are talking about’ in their lyrics. This possibly has to do with a French to English language barrier. Imagine if u had to write ’smart-sounding’ pop lyrics in a foreign language and ended up making weird/forced/generic metaphors in every1 of your songs. Phoenix has sorta turned into Jonas Brothers tween pop for hi level music criticism bros.

Sorta miss Deakin. Since most of my readership became AnCo fans after MerriweathPostPavvy, you might not know that AnCo had a fourth member named ‘The Deakin’ a long time ago. He ‘left the band’ and no1 really knows what happens. Wonder ‘what really happened’ to Deakin. Seems like they must be hiding something. I feel like they hand him remix work ‘for sympathy’ just because they feel bad, and still ‘want him to feel involved.’ Seems like the remixes would be better if Panda Bear made them. Does n e 1 know what happened with DeakinGate?

It seems like I would hear this song in a local coffee shop when an entry-level barista selects a playlist to try to seem ‘authentic.’ They would also probably play something by the Knife followed by a Fever Ray song, just to prove that they ‘understand’ that the broad from the Knife is Fever Ray.

Relevant Band + Relevant Band ≠ Relevant Remix
-Carles, 2009

Can’t believe the spirit of this song is ‘totally different’ and ‘totally sad’ when a woman sings it. No longer a song of ‘hope’–it is a song where a delusional woman is ‘trapped’ with her life caring for her husband who cheats on her, and her son who will one day resent her.

Just feels weird to hear a girl singing this ‘ode to servitude’ where ur saying that u just want 2 care 4 ur family. It seems like some sort of ‘propaganda’ from the 1950s, back when women were supposed to ’stay at home, make sandwiches, do the laundry, and wipe the asses of the kids’ while men could do whatever they wanted. The tone of this song seems ‘whimsical’, as if it is in a ‘fucking dreamworld.’ While it is always a bloggable gimmick to cover AnCo, sometimes u have to think about how ur ‘diminishing some1’s art’ if u cover it.

Still not even sure what the Animal Collective sings in this ‘My Gals’ song. It seems like it might be a rejected song from the ‘My Girl’ soundtrack. Sad that Macaulay Culkin asked to be buried alive in Michael Jackson’s grave.

There isn’t much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
But with a little girl, and by my spouse,
I only want a proper house

*****
I don’t mean to seem like I
Care about material things,
Like a social status,
I just want
Four walls and adobe slabs
For my girls

Feeling confused, like I can’t relate to AnCo since I’m not a ‘caring parent’/cool dad yet.

Just want 4 walls and adobe slabs 4 my girls. ‘WTF is an Adobe Slab?’

‘I just want 4 walls and the Adobe Creative Suite 4 my girls.’ -an HRO commenter during the HRO golden age.

do u want 2 have a family when u grow up or will ur kids/spouse h8 u as much as u h8 ur parents?

[MP3]
Wavves Mickey Mouse

I have never actively listened to a Wavves song, because they seem to be ‘too fuzzy’ or something. Kinda like the ‘garage band aesthetic’ that I don’t ‘get.’ However, I listened to his new song ‘MICKEY MOUSE’ and it made me very confused. It sounded a lot like the band Animal Collective, particularly a song structured by the musical genius Noah ‘Panda Bear’ Lennox.

Sorta reminds me of ‘Peace Bone’ mixed with ‘Bros’ type of structure and hint of ‘Reverend Green/Fireworks.’ I think the lyrics are talking about ‘never wanting to be old’, then references some cryptic metaphor about ‘a thing in the back of your brain’ (science analogy trying to remind u how mortal we are), and then something about your brain telling u that u will ‘be safe.’ It seems like a very ’simple song’, like to the point that you could say it is ’stupid.’

I am not sure why Wavves is converting to the conceptual core aesthetic. Maybe he sees that the live brand that Animal Collective has established, and believes that he can make a longer, more fiscally empowering career if he makes songs that are meaningful, simple looped electronic conceptual core ballads. Probs questions the long term viability of ‘fuzzy guitar with droned lyrics.’ Feel like he possibly might be ‘making fun of every1′ for ‘liking AnCo’, and made this song to say ‘this type of song is easy to make, I can shit out a song like this as a joke.’ Suddenly felt insecure, like he is making fun of me for wearing a Merriweather Post Pavvy tshirt. Not sure if he just ‘deconstructed’ the state of the modern indie-musicsphere with this song, or if he is ‘trying to break into it.’

Wavves seems to h8 everything.

Seems like he has a ‘destructive personality’, even though people might call him ‘a genius.’ Maybe he is a talented, fallen-from-grace bro who is ’searching for something more’ out of life/’the arts’, and can’t help but feel ‘disconnected’ from the type of ghey rewards/ghey fans that come with ’success’ in any sphere of ‘the arts.’ If I could be a writer for Rolling Stone/SPIN/other dying music mag, I would start constructing a long profile piece, calling him ‘The Indie Kurt Cobain’ just in case he really is ‘trying to leave this Earth.’ Would make sure to emphasize that his soul is ‘beautiful’ and possibly ‘misunderstood’ even though we continue to hear his name in some what ‘destructive’ news stories.

Previous Wavves Coverage: I don’t ‘get’ Wavves
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/wavves-bro.html

Wonder if Wavves is HRO’s ‘next Justice’ in that I ‘don’t listen to his music very actively’, but enjoy analyzing his personal brand/aesthetic.

I think that the marketing team behind Animal Collective are ‘pure geniuses.’ Not only did they ‘perfectly brand’ MerriPostWeather Pavillions, and totally ‘overhauled’ the band’s general brand–they also know how to ‘inject the band into relevant discussions.’ I think this was filmed ‘before MJ died’, but I feel like they somehow knew that ‘MJ was going to die’, and wanted to ‘get as much buzz as possible.’

Sometimes it is important to ‘jump on a megameme‘, such as the MJ death. If you are important/famous/relevant enough, people are ‘interested in hearing what u have to say’ about a newsworthy event. Feels like it is ‘beneficial for content providers’ for an ‘alive famous person’ to reflect upon a ‘dead famous person.’ U can then ‘write a blog news story post’ about it, and get ‘mad hits.’ I think it is important to seem ’sad’ and ‘appreciative’ when some1 who was somewhat influential dies. Sometimes it also seems appropriate to be ’shocked.’

Not sure who is the ‘kewlest’ member of AnCo. Think that Panda ’seems chill.’ Not sure if Avey is ‘well-branded’ in a Gilligan hat/bucket hat. I feel like Geologist’s gimmick of ‘wearing a headlamp’ seems like a great one, but I think he needs to ‘commit himself’ to the gimmick 100%, and wear the headlamp during all hours of the day.

Photo via Stereogum

If I had seen him without his headlamp, I would have called him and told him ‘get your goddamn headlamp on.’

Feel like they have probably lost out on hundreds of thousands of dollars worth or ‘merch revenue’ by not selling a Geologist headband.

Would definitely rather have a headlamp than a ‘bucket hat.’

Still trying to ‘brainstorm’ sweet merchandising ideas for indie bands. Starting a consulting firm.

• bro on piano (much like the Fray, Coldplay, Something Corporate)
• Electronic Bro twisting knobs and playing mysterious synthesizers (much like Animal Collective, Passion Pit, Metro Station)
• African American lead singer (much like the Kanye Wests, NERD, TV on the Radio, Bloc Party)
• Forgettable drummer bro who I can arbitrarily decide how much 2 like (much like every band)
• Chorus of ethnic women backup singing (much like the David Matthews Band, the Supremes, the Arcade Fires, Mariah Carey, and other notable artists)
• ‘Multi instrumentalist’ in the background, not sure what he does/why he is there (much like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Cowbell band skit meme, the rapture)

I think that this band might be some ‘huge’ megaband from England or something. I think that there has been a shakeup in ‘the latenight talkshow’ scene, and they are doing everything they can to ‘get mad ratings.’ Not sure if they still ‘get ratings’ when they aggregate youtube views + hulu views.

I’m glad that MSTRKRFT changed their ‘band layout.’  (they still might need a traditional guitar bro, and a traditional bass player bro)   I used to think MSTRKRFT was 2 bros, and I think that we saw in their previous late night performance that the ‘2 DJ bros’ model tanked.

Feel like it is better to just ‘adhere to the traditional standard’ of ‘looking like a band’ instead of trying to show the world that ur an independent spirit.  That’s what the Collected Animals did when they went on Letterman.  Feel like they probably ‘lost tons of followers on twitter’ or whatever sort of equivalent ‘loss of fans’ metaphor u could make.

Ultimately, we’re all just trying 2 sell records. It’s just easier to be a traditional band, and have band member playing traditional instruments that people can recognize. This is why bands follow the ‘Beatles model’ to sell the most records [via U2, coldplay, kings of leon, the killers, the Black Eyed peas, etc.].

Not sure if people really know what bands like Justice/AnCo are ‘actually playing’ when they twist knobs.  Feel excited about the future of bands.  Think ’shit is really gonna get innovative.’ Wonder if people are really ‘ready’ for our ‘norms’ 2 get changed.

Still feeling ‘confused’ about seeing an electro bro playing a grand piano.

Sorta just wanna chill, be myself on the internet. Have people ‘find my vid’ when they search 4 their fave band on youtube. Possibly ‘become an altmeme.’ Might film my cock coming out of my Am Appy briefs and ‘tugging’ til I cum with a 2k7 electro song in the background.

XX BONUS ANCO BRO SPORT MEME XX

Wonder if these are ‘the two best songs’ of 2k9? Feel like it is ‘entry level’ to enjoy ‘Two Weeks’ + ‘My Girls’ the most.

Kinda feels weird how these 2 bands are ‘tied 2gether’ in the conquest for the ‘best’ album experience of 2k9. Not even sure what the ‘best album’ of 2k9 is. Wonder what ‘the internet pundits’ will say is the best album of 2k9. Feel like people will pick Grizzly Bear because they are ‘very personal bros’, and from what I have learned, personal connections ‘mean everything.’ While people ‘love’ anco, they are still not entirely engaging bros, nor could u imagine having a ‘chill convo’ with them. I think that people who pick the Dirty Projjies to be the best album of 2k9 will be the ‘type of music reviewing bros who are ghey/don’t get girls in real life and feel closer 2 women by enjoying female artists.’ Think this might be the theory that explains why St. Vincent is ‘relevant.’

What’s yalls fave album of 2k9?

Photo via GorillaVsBear

I was looking at the popular alternative mp3 blog, GorillavsBears, and I noticed that the GorillaVsBro took some pictures of popular conceptual musician Panda Bear, aka stage name “Noah Lennox”, from the band Animal Collective. I saw that he was wearing a shirt that looked pretty kewl. The shirt featured several wolves ‘chilling.’ I thought it might be a t-shirt for a band that was named ‘Wolves’ or ‘Wolf Collective’ or something, but it was actually just a shirt promoting the generic wolf brand. Wolves for Wolves’ Sake.

I feel like it might be a modern take on the famous ‘child predator glasses‘ trend. It is a look that says ‘I am a bro who values different things than u. I live in a different world than u, and I am not searching for the same things in life than u r. I am part of some sort of collective of animals who don’t care about material things’ and so forth, and so on… Sort of like how child predators ‘just wanna get off with kidz’, WolfBros ‘just want to be a part of nature’ or something like that. Roaming the earth.

It’s weird how we are in this Am Appy era of solids + stripes, but it might be time to ‘break free’ from this minimal branding, and start wearing t-shirts with various nouns on them, represented via images (no words).

Srsly. The more I see Wolf t-shirts, the more it ‘makes sense.’

Seems like ‘wolf’ might be my power animal [via the Fighting Clubs]

Wolf Altbro #1

Wolf Altbro #2?

Wolves roam together in packs, sort of like how I envision a ‘perfect scene’ where every1 gets along and there is no ‘drama’

Wolves can also be ‘lone bros’ who ‘just chill by themselves’ and are ‘happy’ with a life of solitude

Might ‘convert’ a wolf t-shirt into some sort of tank top for the summer months

This shirt sorta represents being American, but also being a wolf bro

People who have read lots of wikipedia pages will have found out that ‘indie music’ is actually short of ‘Indian music’, not ‘independent music.’ Wolves and Buffalo were the most important animals to injuns.

“I am a lone bro.
Lone wolf bro
Alone in this modern world
searching for my pack of bros
to roam this earth
in search of meaning
we are comfy in nautica bros.”
-Panda Bear, 2014

R u gonna buy a wolf t-shirt?
Do u believe in the wolf t-shirt as a relevant summer look?
Does n e 1 know how to convert my blank Am Appy t-shirts into Wolf Tees?
Is Panda Bear a bro who ‘gets it’?
What will u be wearing this summer?

Feel like I missed out on a lot of meaningful experiences.

I could have beta tested new Am Appy designs with Karen O of the Ya Yea Yeas.

Photos by Chris Graham via Brooklyn Vegan

Could have seen some zany bro.

Could have made zany faces while singing meaningful Passion Pit songs

Could have made zany faces while singing meaningful AnCo songs [via Avey Tare]

Could have made scary faces while singing with King Of Leon alphabro

Are alt music festivals all going 2 have comedy now? Might watch ADULT SWIM LIVE starring Tim and Eric. I read in a blog that they direct music videos or something.

Could have sang Karaoke with my political science professor/T.A.

Could have made angry faces about TV on the Radio’s Dave Sitek about having to play to a crowd of bros even though ur a production genius

Could have talked about music industry issues & channeling ur hurt/anger into transcendent rock anthems with Trent Reznor.

Could have chilled with Kevin ‘Bisexual JokerAlt’ Barnes during a zany OfMonty set

Could have had ‘my junk’ eaten out by a tiger

Just coulda chilled with bros, sat in the sun on a blanket, listening to some sweet, sweet alternative tunes.

Might have also met a tuggle of entry-level girls who were just under-18 who u get drunk & ‘take advantage’ of.

Whenever I miss a music festival within 3000 miles of my own home, am I missing out on one of the most potentially meaningful experiences of my life?

[Photos by Chris Graham via Brooklyn Vegan]

///REAL STORIES FROM REAL HRO READERS ///
Jeff, 13 year old from Minneapolis – “I was trying to get control of the tv, but my dad was watching baseball. Every night he comes home and drinks a 6 pack of tall boys. I thought he was sleeping and tried to change the channel, but then he work up and got really mad at me and hit me. I just wanted to see Animal Collective… sigh.”

Mattie, 46 year old from Manhattan – “I took off work to try to get tickets to the Late Show, but showed up 10 minutes too late. It was alright because I had seen Animal Collective at the Bowery Ballroom, but I just ended up drinking some box wine after putting my son to sleep, and enjoying the beautiful performance….”

Jessica, 19 year old college student from Maryland - “I live in an all girls dorm, and there’s a group of us who call ourselves Da Hipstaz… Anyways, we reserved a lounge on the 5th floor of our dorm, ordered some pizza, and enjoyed the performance. We are going to see them next tour, so just more to look forward to.”

Frank, 29 year old freelance blogger and music journalist – ‘The thick waves of goodness filled my apartment’s living as a wall of sound moved forward, similar to the wall used during Human Tetris. Selecting a song to play when all of your songs are masterpieces is a difficult task–yet AnCo brought something new to the table, miniscule elements that only the most devoted fans could identify. It is these subtleties which have elevated Animal Collective from buzzband… to band of the century. MP3s after the jump…”

Antonio, 22, Houston, TX – “I got hella blazed, then chilled, watched the performance, listened to StrawbJam on vinyl. Popped in a dvd and fell asleep. twittered about it once. Going to eat a burrito tomorrow.”

5/7/2009 – WHERE WERE U?

INDIE/CONCEPTUAL CORE has FINALLY ARRIVED.
WE MADE IT, YALL.
THIS IS OUR TIME.