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Anonymous Commenter Appreciation
HIPSTER RUNOFF Presents 2k8's Most CMMNTd Posts

HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for discussion. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for commenting. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a for some of the most important social commentary in the world. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for progressive ideas. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for cmmntrs to 'talk like Carles.' HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place for rash reactions. HIPSTER RUNOFF is a place 2 express urself after Carles expresses himself. Commenting is an opportunity for you to align your personal brand with a single post. Each post a meaningful parcel of information. PART OF A BLOG POST NEVER DIES (therefore PART OF UR CMMNT NVR DIES). Thought yall might appreciate this info. Kinda weird how sometimes I spend 2 minutes on a post (basically sharting out a low level alt meme), and it gets more cmmnts than 'a hi level meme/post that I spent time compiling.'

UPDATE: LINKS WORK NOW. SORRY YALL. DON'T 'GET' HTML.

  1. 178 comments Who Are the World’s Best DJs?
  2. 132 comments TV on the Radio Gimmick Post
  3. 127 comments 1st Post about HIPSTER RUNOFF sirius show
  4. 115 comments Which shoe company represents U?
  5. 109 comments WTF IS BLOGHOUSE?
  6. 104 comments Austin + Portland Analysis
  7. 102 comments I’m thinking about doing blow 4 the first time
  8. 90 comments Should I move 2 Portland
  9. 88 comments Pissing Alt Broads
  10. 85 comments My Relaish with Girl Talk
  11. 84 comments Amy Core’s Beached Whale sexie dance
  12. 83 comments Pitchfork starts war with Electro (Steve Aoki gimmick post)
  13. 80 comments Sparks Eulogy
  14. 73 comments HIPSTER RUNOFF BINGO
  15. 72 comments Bro Gets Stabbed in a Party Pic
  16. 70 comments Blipster Bingo
  17. 70 comments What is the most authentic alt job?
  18. 70 comments Artists 2 watch: David Matthews Bands
  19. 65 comments The Proud Grin of an Entry Level Alt
  20. 65 comments I Wish they Had Macbooks when I was a tween
  21. 63 comments What is a lifestyle brand?
  22. 63 comments Sparks Memorial
  23. 62 comments Meaningfulcore bands
  24. 62 comments Election Day Post
  25. 62 comments AltBag
  26. 61 comments Post where yall told me what the best HRO posts are
  27. 61 comments Bands 2 watch: Savage Garden
  28. 61 comments Art School Commentary
  29. 61 comments AmyCore Paper Planes
  30. 60 comments Post about Mexicalts/Altinos/Brokencyde
  31. 60 comments Is talking like HRO bad for ur personal brand?
  32. 60 comments <3 // h8 // Miss: The theory that changed HRO
  33. 60 comments Electroma = Poop
  34. 59 comments I’m lil and I smoke weed, yall
  35. 59 comments Human After Yall
  36. 59 comments Bands 2 watch: The Postal Services
  37. 58 comments King of Leon AltBro or Altbag
  38. 58 comments A s00 random post about ‘the past’
  39. 57 comments Ableton Live
  40. 57 comments Tween Alt’s Birthday Party on Cobrasnake
  41. 57 comments Simpsons Alts
  42. 57 comments Post with the penises of Kevin Barnes & Devendra Barnhart
  43. 56 comments Some FGGTS made a Postal Service music video
  44. 55 comments That alt with the moustache
  45. 54 comments AltBro or AltBGGT
  46. 54 comments THNXGVNG
  47. 54 comments Matt and Kim video that is an indie cliche
  48. 53 comments Entry Level AltBro or Altbag
  49. 53 comments Girl Talk is a PC
  50. 53 comments Mexialts
  51. 53 comments MSTRKRFT can fix any song theory
  52. 52 comments Girls who went out dressed as D.V.N.O. but then asked me 2 take their pic down
  53. 52 comments Rave or Die
  54. 52 comments FGGT or Eurotrash
  55. 51 comments My authentic Life is full of Authentic Props in my Authentic Apartment
  56. 50 comments Failed Alternative Marketing: Pitchfork + Southern Comfort gimmick video piece
  57. 50 comments Girl Talk + Full House gimmick post
  58. 50 comments Australia AltBro Theory
  59. 50 comments gimmick post on Super Mario Brothers 3
  60. 48 comments S00 stressed--h8 finals!
  61. 48 comments Polar Bears are the new Panda Bears
  62. 46 comments ALT Bingo

After processing this information, it is clear that my most valuable posts are about ___________. It will be important for me to post about ________ at least once a week, in order to generate discussion/ad impressions. I should cut back on posts about _________ because no1 cares. It's clear that ______ is a popular topic/gimmick that needs more attention. I will explore it more in 2k9. When a post gets __+ comments, that means it is relevant commentary on a modern issue. Or it means that I posted a picture of __________ (human body part). Whenever I blog about ________, you can tell that people from ________ (city) get defensive and feel like they have to justify their existences. Glad they found my blog from a local newspaper/blog who 'thought my post was an unfounded outrage.' People also like to gawk at pictures from events like ________. I hope I get to attend one some day. Overall it was a good 2k8. Hopefully I can keep 'producing results' by blogging more about ________ and less about _________. Carles reads (all/none/some) of your comments, so he definitely appreciates ur feedback. Every comment is a love note. Do U <3 HRO?

HRO: A Place for Anon Cmmntrs

Hipster Runoff is a place for many people.
HRO is the safe place you can come to escape from your bad day, your terrible relationship, or your parents who don't understand why you got a chest tattoo.

HRO is the only blog that understands you as a person.
If HRO were a real person, and not a blog, you would go out to a bar and end up getting buzzed, and talking about life, and your dreams and aspirations.

HRO is a community, where a lot of people have a lot of important things to say. Comments are a valuable part of the blog, because they are an important way for readers to communicate with the blogger. It's kind of like a townhall meeting about a natural disaster, except on the internet.


***A Place 4 Showing Some <3 ***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Bro in a Bow Tie":

why is this the frst blog i check everyday? i think it's b/c i hope one da i will see another dj mom jeans post explaining the meaning of meme's while wearing a bro tie in a group of alt bros with an ghey azn granny n the background showing her tits.



***A Place 4 Perverted Confessions ***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Crowd Surf Gang Bang":

all i can contribute to this post is that i accidentally touched MIA's tit while she was crowd surfing (on me).



*** A place for Rumors ***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "HIPSTER RUNOFF DOESN'T SUPPORT INTERRACIAL RELATIO...":

spankrock is a closet gay. everyone thats friends with him in philly knows that.


=== has left a new comment on your post "The best DJs in the world are willing to POUR DRAN...":


I ONCE WAS AT A PARTY AND WAS ON STAGE AND AOKI WAS TOO
THER WAS A TUB OF ICE WATER WITH BEERS/VODKA IN IT, WHEN I WENT OVER TO GRAB A DRINK, ALL THE BEERS WERE GONE, AND THERE WAS AN EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE FLOATING ON THE TOP, I GRABBED IT TO CHECK IF ANYTHING WAS LEFT, AND IT WAZ COMPLETELY EMPTY.
I THEN WALK AWAY AND NOTICE STEVE AOKI WALK OVER TO THE SAME TUB, AND PICK UP THE SAME EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE THEN START TO POUR WATER IN THE BOTTLE, HE THEN GOES TO CENTER STAGE AND STARTS CHUGGING IT AND SPITTING IT OUT ON THE CROWD, SO I WAS LIEK HAY WTF THATS WATER. SO I WALK OVER TO HIM WHILE EVERY FKN PHOTOBLOG WAS SNAPPING AWAY AT THIS AMAZING PHOTO-OP AND I SAY "HEY, CAN I GET SOME OF THAT" HE HESITATES, AND POURS SOME IN MY GLASS I THEN TAKE A SIP AND SPIT IT OUT AND SAY "WTF ASSHAT, THIS IS WATER.." AND PEOPLE SEEMED SHOCKED BUT NOONE WAS LIEK "OMG YUO FUKN QUEER WHAT A WIENER YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT" THEY JUST KEPT DOING WHATEVER THE FUK THEY WERE DOING
WHAT DO I WITH THIS?


*** A Place For People Who Have Seen Documentaries about the Plight of the Transgendered Population***

nonymous has left a new comment on your post "Agyness Deyn Is Just Another Alt Slut?":

being transgendered is a bit more complicated than just 'trying to be a guy'
you can't always spew your dumb misconceptions all over the place under the guise of 'irony to raise awareness about how people are ignorant'
you should write a post about how so many alt people who pretend to be queer-conscious turn out to be self-centered biggots/faggots


***A Place Where CMMNTRS hate one another***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Music Without Any Checks and Balances":

What do you think the average age is of HRO commenters? Couldn't be more than 15.


*** A Place Where People Say that Music Suxx ***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "CFCF RMX":

more gay music from hipster fagoff

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Adeyhawke":

hipster runoff is a blog aggregator for gay mp3s



***A Place Where People Spot Alt Bros***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "When will Smoosh turn 18?":

can you please make a post about this case of alt bro overload?
http://www.thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/a/IMG_9556.html
thx



***A Place Where People Postulate About the Laws of Hipness***

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Bro in a Bow Tie":

This is it. This post is the singularity. I thought it would happen today after I saw the cute asian-australian girls. It's rather pleasing to know that you were able to achieve this and didn't kill yourself in the exhaustive quest.
The known laws of hipness are fundamentally altered. You have found the point where the derivative no longer exists for a given hipster function, but for every neighborhood of which contains points for which the hipster derivative exists. In other words, you have discovered and proven where hipness has infinite density and zero volume.

HIPSTER RUNOFF: A Place For Anons
HIPSTER RUNOFF: A Place for Overused Gimmicks
HIPSTER RUNOFF: A Place for Forced Jargon
HIPSTER RUNOFF: The comments are more entertaining than the actual blog?
HIPSTER RUNOFF: The commenters are the most annoying commenting culture on the internet?
HIPSTER RUNOFF: The Glory Days Have Just Begun
HIPSTER RUNOFF: Are Myspacers Dead?
HIPSTER RUNOFF: The Glory Days Ended One Month Ago
HIPSTER RUNOFF: I've been reading it for 2 years
HIPSTER RUNOFF: A Place for _______________

Hipster Runoff on myspace
http://www.myspace.com/hipsterrunoff

ANONYMOUS COMMENTER APPRECIATION POST

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "READER APPRECIATION POST":

Appreciate me!

Anons need love!!

HIPSTER RUNOFF: It's for teens who just want 2 b part of something 'bigger than themselves.'
HIPSTER RUNOFF: A little bit too 'insincere' for first wave Yupsters who view music as a search for revolutionary new artists with unique sounds.

DOES HIPSTER RUNOFF MAKE UR WORLD GO ROUND?

Thanxxx for the rainbow. HIPSTER RUNOFF <3s GHEYS


D.A.R.E. 2 <3 HRO

<3 <3 ANON CMMNTRS <3 <3

Commenters like U keep me from listening to "Adam's Song" and hanging myself in my closet.