 |
GRAPHIC PHOTO: Cults lead singer Brian Oblivion suffers severe 3rd degree burns to face (7 comments) |
 |
Son, This Is A Buzzband. (26 comments) |
 |
EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE: Beyonce and Jay-Z release first pictures of their fake baby! (8 comments) |
 |
NYTimes calls Lana Del Rey 'a skinnier Adele'. Do they h8 fatties? (19 comments) |
 |
Bon Iver's Justin Vernon apologizes 2 Carles. Has he won the first battle against the Corrupt Indie Machine? (13 comments) |
 |
I Am Carles Returns with LIMITED EDISH VALENTINE'S DAY shirt. (17 comments) |
 |
Madonna says M.I.A. ruined her show, is 'a stupid teenager' (8 comments) |
 |
Alexis Krauss shows off her BANGIN BOD in GQ Magazine. She truly is 'Sexi Lexi.' (18 comments) |
 |
"BUZZ BANDS" was a category on Jeopardy. Have BUZZ BANDS crossed over 2 the mnstrm? (15 comments) |
 |
Tyler the Creator spotted bronoodling with 'this nigga' Kanye West. Are Big Thangs Poppin? (11 comments) |
So there I was...
At my first relevant music festival that showcased a top tier dubstep DJ
Vibing hard with my hands in the air
I felt a force picking me up
Was it the spirit of dubstep
crunching the ground we walked on
lifting me up
I was surfing!
Surfing on the crowd
Making my way towards my fave dubstep DJ
Hands all over me
Grabbing my body everywhere
Carry me! Carry me 2 dubstream salvation!
Alas!
I was approaching the mainstage
I felt alive
I reached out my hands
I see an angry, buff security guy looking all pissed off at me
CRASH
BOOM
WAH WAH
WOMP WOMP WOMP
No, those were not the sounds of a dubstep breakdown
I fell down on my head
All of a sudden I began to feel dehydrated
I have no energy
One moment, u feel on top of the world
The next, you are sitting next to a dubstream bro checking his pulse
WAH WAH
WOMP WOMP
No, once again not the sound of a dubstep breakdown
That is my indistinguishable pulse
Am I dying?
Is my heart still beating?
Am I concussed?
Am I dehydrated?
Am I exhausted?
Is this why my parents didn't want me to go 2 a music festival?
Is dubstream too hardXcore 4 me?
Help.
All I wanted was a meaningful crowdsurfing session 2 never end
Instead, I got severely injured
My mom came to pick me up
We had a quiet meal at Taco Bell.
I am safe.
Save us from the dangers of dubstep!
I am a fallen dubstreamer.
Sometimes I wake up after having terrible nightmares. I dream that I have lost one of my five senses.
One time, I dreamt that I couldn't see any more, and I was stuck in the middle of a forest trying to navigate by 'feeling it all around', unable to see all of the things that were in front of me. Another time I had a dream that I could no longer taste--sitting at a buffet of neverending Chili's, Subway, and McFlurries, however, there was no joy in my tastebuds. I had a dream that I could no longer smell, and when I smoked marijuana, I could no longer 'get high' because my smell buds were dead. One other nightmare I found myself unable to 'feel' in the middle of receiving a tugjob. I am unable to 'cum' and must explain to my partner that I can no longer feel the tight grip of their hand on my peen.
My ultimate nightmare is a recurring one, where I lose the ability to hear. I had my earbuds embedded deep within my ears, music jamming so loud, really vibing out to all of the buzzbands on my iPod Phone. However, all of a sudden the musics cut out. I fiddled with the headphone jack on the phone, and double checked the volume settings. Everything seemed fine. Frantically scrolled thru all of my Music Library, hoping my iPod wasn't broken.
It turned out my iPod was just fine. It turned out that my hearing was gone. The ultimate nightmare. What would I do if I couldn't enjoy buzzbands? Would I lose 40-70% of my personal brand that is constructed around the indie music scene? How would I fill my time if I couldn't scan blogs all day searching 4 relevant artists?
I had lost the ability to 'hear'. I had lost the ability to be an active member of the buzzband ecosystem.
How would I escape from all of the troubled thoughts in my head without free mp3s?
What would I listen 2 when I smoked dank?
How could I impress a girl without making her an indie mix CD/playlist?
If you go to a relevant music festival, will there be some1 there to do 'sign language' to convey the vibe of the buzzband + relay important meaningful lyrics 2 u?
Yes, there will be.
It seems like there is an entire demographic of 'deaf ppl' out there who can't hear buzzbands, but still deserve the opportunity to 'love music.'
There is so much emphasis on buzzbands to create 'buzzworthy mp3s', however, maybe there's a lot of ppl who can't hear who don't even require MP3s. Maybe if you just have a 'cool-looking' personal brand, and have some insightful lyrics for deaf ppl, ur buzzband can sell a lot of albums. Maybe there' people out there who will 'still buy albums' just as long as there is sweet album art + content is ur 'CD booklet.' Always thought that in order 2 make a great buzzband u just had to make 'great noises recorded as MP3s' and 'look cool', however, it seems like maybe u only need to 'look kewl.'
Am I going 2 go deaf 1 day and lose my ability to hear?
Will I still be able to hear buzzworthy mp3s of yesterday in my head?
Do the hearing impaired deserve 2 enjoy buzzbands?
Is there more to a buzzband than just 'listening' and 'feeling kewl'?
Don't forget abt disabled ppl. They wanna ride chillwaves, uncover buzzbands, throw down rape gazes, and attend relevant music festivals, too. Feeling inspired. Might start a buzzband without traditional 'music'
Maybe in a way, we're all already kinda deaf.
Maybe we need to stop listening to buzzbands
There is a language of buzz
A method of buzzworthy communication
that transcends audio/visual vibes
Beyond some sort of media that u can 'blog abt'
True buzzbands appeal 2 all humans
Equal opportunities
Making accommodations 4 those with special needs
Every1 is invited to experience their brand
Do u think the 'sign language' ppl at music festivals are 'chill' or do they ruin vibes for people just trying to enjoy buzzbands?
Do all humans have the right to enjoy buzzbands?
Would u still enjoy ur favourite buzzband even if u could no longer hear?
What do bands need to do to appeal to the 'hearing impaired'?
Should Barry Obama pass some sort of law that requires clubowners to staff a full time 'signer'?
Does sign language get u 'hornie' if the lyrics are sexie?
I was looking at photos of ACL, one of the world's most indie music festivals with headliners like Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, Kings of Leon, and Yea Ya Yeahs. I couldn't help but notice the new trend of 'old krazie looking dudes' having indie bands. It seems like the indie music playing field has leveled, and it no longer matters 'what u look like.' I remember when I was a teenager, I had an expectation of 'what a buzzband should look like.' Usually a group of 4 peppy looking/deep looking/tragic looking alts who were passionate about the music they were playing live.
Now it seems like any1 can be in a buzzband. It's like modern indie fans have matured enough to accept every1, just as long as they have a good product.
I remember when Dan Deacon 'first invaded the scene.' It seems like he might have represented accepting the 'middle aged' man aesthetic into the indiesphere. A man who is 'old' but still represents youth + a care-free attitude.
It seems like old men with the aesthetic of 'ur krazy Uncle who was homeless for a while' are 'making it' as indie bands.
I feel like acceptance of the 'krazy old man' aesthetic might be some sort of 'equal opportunity agenda' that indie bros have in their heads. Maybe some sort of subconscious insecurity about 'getting older.' Like we need 2 make sure that we look like the people who are entertaining us. When men watch sports, they always feel comfortable watching 18-30 year olds playing as professionals, but I don't think that's how music work. It seems like you select the bands you will follow for the rest of your life between the ages of 18-28.5. Not sure if you would 'get into' the All American Rejects if u were a 50 year old dad. Just hard 2 take young ppl srsly when they have that look of 'having their whole lives ahead of them.'
Going to be sad when a music festival is meant to appeal to both me and my future tween son+daughter. There will be an 'old indie bro' stage and a 'tween stage.' We will drive to the festival together, but spend the day apart, perhaps uniting once during the day for 'sausage on a stick' or some sort of festival treat like that.
Seems like Coachella 2k10 might be that festival [via Pavement Reunion].
R u scared of turning into an OldAlt?
XX BONUS RELEVANT MUSING XX
Can u tell how mainstream a music festival is by looking at a photograph of attendees from the waist down?
[via Painters Jeans]
Music Festivals: a Place for AltBros
[Photo by David Hill][via p4k acl recap]
I remember back when meaningfulcore was about to take over the world, it was important to prove that ur personal brand clearly indicated that u liked certain bands. There used to be subtle ways of proving that you listened to DeathCab/ur fave band.
These days, things r really different. People are going out of their way to prove that they 'get' artists like no1 else gets them. The bro above constructed a double-sided sign so that he could watch 2 of his favourite artists at the Austin City Limits Music Festival. He loves MGMT & CSS.
I feel like music festivals are the new sporting events. A place where bros go to hold up signs that prove that they 'get'/'authentically enjoy' certain events/artists.
srsly tho... music is getting mainstream. next thing u know, Ur uncool dad will run into you at a music festival with a quirky, overdesigned-without-a-computer posterboard sign.
Do yall bring 'fun props' 2 concerts 2 prove that ur the #1 fan in the world?
I'm sure it's really difficult to be Joanna Newsom right now. She built her career in the pre-LDR era, back when critics would spooge their pants about any marginally talented female. After Lana Del Rey, there will be no more spooge for the ANY female artist, even if they know how to play the harp.
This is some video of Joanna Newsom playing some ACL live taping or something. I guess it came out now because she wants ppl to know that she is more authentic than LDR. I wonder what the Samberg-Newsom household is like after #LDRSNL. There was probably some friction, because she told him not to make a digital short featuring her. There was not one. In fact, I am pretty sure Andy Samberg wasn't in any sketches during the Lana Del Rey episode. U have to think that there is trouble in paradise brewing because she is no longer the 'buzz catch' that she once was. He is probably gonna have some 1on1 time with Zooey Deschanel, and be all like 'Why the eff isn't my indie princess building a brand?'
Anyways, Joanna Newsom plays the harp.
Are Andy Samberg and Joanna Newsom gonna 'breakup' within the calendar year?
Or get married?
Does Joanna Newsom have the looks AND the talent to compete with LDR?
Will critics overrate harp playing females in the post-LDR era?
How will LDR change the way we rate female indie artists?
Joanna Newsom is some indie songstress who plays the harp and writes weirdo songs that some ppl say are 'amazing.'
Every music festival has a series of memes that are like 'OMG, DID U HEAR THAT [SOME1 FAMOUS] WAS WATCHING BUZZBANDS AT A [MUSIC FESTIVAL]?!?' It's usually Lindsay Lohan skanking out 2 a buzzband... This year's most famous Austin City Limits buzz was Christian Bale. You might know him from the mainstream movie "The Dark Knight" or maybe "Ammy Psychy" or "Newsies" or something. Anyways, he was spotted at ACL, and he was apparently filming a new DEEP Terrence Malick film. As yall know, Terrence Malick made this year's hit art film marketed to high-end mainstreamers called "Tree of Life."
Can u hear the meaningful Cut Copy playing in the background? "I WONDER IF PATRICK BATEMAN WOULD LISTEN 2 THEM?" -entrylevel mp3 blogger doing a 'culture' piece
Via some film blogspot:
The impromptu (or not) shooting session makes sense, as Malick lives in Austin and is known to be highly secretive. The only thing we know for sure about the duo’s collaboration is that Bale is the star, and he’ll be joined by newcomer Haley Bennett. The Playlist is quick to point out that Malick had previously been working on a Jerry Lee Lewis-related project, so this film could be a new iteration of that. From the looks of things, it appears that Untitled Terrence Malick Project #2 may turn out to be a music-centric pic, though what the finished product will look like is anyone’s guess.
Side note: to satisfy your curiosity, Malick and Bale were backstage filming during the sets of Bright Eyes, Pretty Lights, and Coldplay. Make of that what you will.
Sorta wish I coulda vibed with him at the festival. Told him who was relevant, who was entry-level. Guided him towards authenticity instead of festival bro lamestreamness.
"Do u know where the Google+ stage is?"
Check out this video of some lamestream festival bros being like "IS THAT BATMAN? I LOVE UR WORK BROSKI!"
'OMG I JUST MET CHRISTIAN FUCKING BALE. ACL IS AMAZING.' -ppl who are still 'impressed' by famous ppl
Here he is 'sidestage' at Bright Eyes. Cheer up, Christian BB!
Did u see Christian Bale at ACL?
What buzzbands would u have taken him 2 see?
Is Terrence Malick 'so real' or mad overrated [via incoherent]?
Is 'Tree of Life' the most authentic movie ever made, or a massive pile of pretentious poo?
Do u think that there will be dinosaurs in this music festival movie?
'Why are we alive? Why do we feel feelings?' -Terrence Malick
Does Christian Bale seem alt, or is he a secret mnstrmr?
What would u have yelled 2 him?
Watch the beautiful buzzband. This is buzzlife.
I'm David Effing Blaine
Do u know who I am?
I have done some of the most amazing magic tricks in the history of the world
and now I am taking on the easy ass world of being a musician
Do u think I can't handle this shit?
I froze myself in ice for a week
That shit was as magical as it gets
Ur saying I can't start a buzzband?
I'm David effing Blaine
David Copperfield = trick ass bitch
One time I hung upside down for like 2 months
Didn't eat, didn't piss, didn't shit
U don't think I can write a Top 40 pop hit?
I transcend humanity.
I'm a mindfreak, bitches
I'm a dentist, yall
I drowned 1 time, but then brought myself back 2 life
I bang models
I'm ready 2 be a buzzband
I turn coffee in2 cash
My name is David Blaine
and I am ready 2 be a buzzband musician
I'm David Blaine
Gonna levitate 2 the top of the charts
levitate to a 10.0 on pitchfork
levitate in2 one of the most buzzworthy bands of all time
Will David Blaine start the #1 buzzband of all time?
Is the band Broken Bells 'effing boring' unless u pretend David Blaine is in them?
Is David Blaine an authentic musician?
Does David Blaine have a relationship with Satan / Jesus Christ / God?
Should David Blaine join _________ (pre-existing indie buzzband) ?
Hi Vicki
U look real good
Not gonna lie
U kinda have snuck up on me during the 2k10 album cycle
Didn't really have a good feel for ur personal brand
since most writeups focus on ur 'amazing voice' or whatever
So sure u have a great voice
But honestly
U look great
Rocking ur see thru shirt at Austin City Limits Music Festival
So sexie
Yet classy at the same time
U might be just what i need
Not just another slutwaver.
I'm getting lost in ur curls [via AnCo]
That beautiful mop of curls
want to move the hair out of ur eyes
As u look at me
and feel inspired to write numerous buzz band mp3 hits.
Feel really good about the future
As u have become 'elite'
Also: MEMO TO OTHER DUDE IN BEACH HOUSE
We get it bro
Ur in Beach House
Ur chill--okay
Just wanna focus on Vicki. Plz get out of frame.
Jesus. So over it, bro.
Wish u'd just wear a mask like the Crystal Castles guy does so u can focus on Alice Glass [link]
<3 U Vicki
Is Vicki LeGrand the #1 female in indie music?
Is it chill that we call her 'Vicki' [via bff/bro status]?
Can Vicki LeGrand 'crossover' if she ditches 'other dude'?
Will Beach House win the 2k10 album of the year contest?
Do u respect Vicki for not riding the slutwave and wearing something 'tasteful' yet 'sexie'?
FUCK 1, KILL 1, MARRY 1
Victoria LeGrand, Alice Glass, and Bethany Cosentino
Beach House is a relevant buzzband who has 'tons of indie cred.' Lead singer Victoria LeGrand is known as 1 of the sexiest women in indie.
Read more>>>>
Victoria LeGrand, known as "Vicki" is one of the hottest indie songstresses in indie music in the hit band the Beach House.
Read more>>>>
It seems like music festivals are 'getting ironically retro.' As opposed to booking huge bands to be the major draws, they are booking 'ironic 1990s one-hit-wonders' to take the stage. The band The Verve Pipe had one hit called "The Freshmen" which was a popular alt rock song, back in the alt rock 1990s era.
Not sure why Austin City Limits booked them. Seems like a questionable decision, like no1 will show up to their stage, or maybe people will 'walk by and not know who they are.' Then they will hear the song "The Freshmen" and possibly start laughing, or maybe they will vibe out hard and yearn for the pre-indie era.
Is the Freshman one of the best indie rock songs ever written?
Is this song the #1 buzz ballad of all time?
Will the Verve Pipe 'recover' from their commercial free fall and get tons of coverage with this festival slot?
From the official ACL blurb:
Verve Pipe’s hit “The Freshmen” was part of a wave of pop-rock that swept over modern rock radio in the mid-‘90s, washing grunge down the drainpipe of history. But to everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, and the Michigan quintet, led by Brian Vander Ark, suffered from diminishing returns; 2001’s Underneath failed to chart, despite critical acclaim and production from Fountains of Wayne frontman Adam Schlesinger. Brian’s brother Brad left the band, and for the next seven years the band shared time with Brian’s solo career. In 2009, the now-six-member Verve Pipe came back as few could have predicted with A Family Album, an LP of original children’s songs with an adorable cranky kitty on the cover. With a new rock album in the works as well, the band splits tours between bar shows and family events.
Damn. Just googled their new children's album and streamed some of it. It was 'mad terrible.' [link]
h8 u cranky cat bro.
Is ACL an authentic music festival, or do u prefer Coachella / Pitchfork / Lollapalooza / Bonnyroos / Sasquatch / etc?
Feel like they are trying to market the festival to Austin based 'cool dads' who would pay top dollar to see The Eagles. Not sure if 20somethings have expendable income since they don't usually have jobs, so it is probably better for them to go after young kids and old adults who are 'loaded' but still want to be 'free spirited' and 'young at heart.' Worried that my dad might ruin the buzzbands that I discovered 3-5 years ago.
Who is the #1 ACL act?
MGMT? M.I.A.? The Strokes? The XX? The LCDS? Vampy Weeks? Beach Haus? Muse? Phish? The She & Him? Michael Jackson?
Is Austin City Limits 'authentic' or is it the music festival that is aimed at 'rich Texan 40 year olds'?
Worried that the Eagles headliner means that ACL is no longer oriented at my cutting edge demographic... Hope we can all get jobs, then have more money 2 spend.
Will the Verve Pipe 'recapture the magic'?
Should other festivals take chances on other forgotten alt rock bands like LEN, LIT, Eagle Eye Cherry, Crazy Town and Marcy Playground?
Will u go 2 ACL?
Should we all just 'disconnect from the internet', do a bunch of hard drugs, and overdose in our rooms as we cry out that 'we were only metaphorically Freshmen'?
