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I have never climaxed with another human being. I have 'been with people' but I still have never 'came' bc of a vagina, mouth, or bum hole. I mean, I really love the people I've been with, but I'm always just really uncomfortable since we have to 'do it' in public places. I want to make love to some1 in a place where I am comfortable. Really looking forward to my dorm room so that I can bring people home to sleep with.
The truth is, I want to make love to my true lover for the first time on top of an AZN. I was reading in AZNmagazine that utilizing an AZN as a bed/love seat / futon is really effective, and actually helps you thrust into your lover. Whether it is a man or a woman, if you are on top of an AZN, you can reach your lover's gSpot 45% more effectively. I really wanna try it out, yall. Going to IKEA to buy one this weekend. ^_^
I remember in the past, I wanted to buy an AZN, and I came up with 'snarky' descriptions abt what would be the best part about owning an AZN, but I failed to see that human furniture might be a huge trend. I read that in the Bruno film, Paula Abdul utilizes 'filthy mexicans' as furniture or something.
When I start design school, I will find a way to convert humans into functional objects/household tools. From what I understand, our Earth is overpopulated, and there aren't enough jobs. I feel like some ppl should 'find happiness' by doing something simple like 'being a reclining chair', or possibly putting a piece of glass on their back and 'chilling as a dinner table.'
Might get this TV stand, but my HDTV is 'fucking huge' so not sure if that is stable enough.
Would be chill to get a 'bro shelf' but might 'turn ghey' if I see peens too often.
I feel like a human Dorito holder would probably be something that would go well in my apartment.
Just want 2 build a comfortable home, where I feel safe enough to 'climax'/'cum'. ^_^
Previous Posts about Human Trade
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/human-trade
Previous Posts about buying an AZN
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/what-would-u-do-if-u-bought-azn-reader.html
Photograph from when my AZN tried to escape and I had to go 'spotlighting' in the wilderness of Los Angeles to try to 'find' (recapture + punish) him
If u could buy 1 piece of human furniture, what race + type of furniture would it be?
What the eff
srsly what the eff
What is that thing
srsly
what the eff unchll azn br
fuck
'losing it'
U ruined my birthday
U had a 'cake fight' with the cake my mom made 4 me
This is it
U r so proud
U ruined my chill vibes
U ruined my life
Is it time 2 retire Unchill AZN bro, or does his unchillness never cease to that ur chill vibes?
Unchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Hi Unchill AZN Bro
How r u?
What'd u do last night?
Oh that's kewl
hit up some relevant events
I went to those events too
Oh shit. u were VIP?
Yeah, I was just in the crowd with the masses
Yeah, just watched the show with a few bros, paid for a few beers
I get it, ur more relevant than me
Yes, I see ur wristbands
Yes, they are pretty. So many colors
Yeah, I know that afterparty was impossible to get in2
I don't care any more, okay? I went to the show, had a good time
Yes, there is usually free alcohol in VIP
I'm usually chill, but ur gonna have to stop
Plz just take off ur wristbands
Why are you still wearing them? They are like 5 days old
I get it, ur relevant, ur important
but I had a chill time at those events, now I can't stop thinking abt how u were VIP
and I was stuck with all of the goddamn alt peons
Really thought I had a good night
but now I realize
how unfair 'VIP status' can be.
Do u get pissed when some1 unchill has 'VIP status' then 'throws it in ur face'?
Just wish I had a Nico +1
Unchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Hi
u look kinda unchill again
wearing child predator glasses
inspiring Chris Hansen vibes
That's chill I guess
Possibly unchill
Who am I 2 judge?
I am not the God of Chill.
Only God can judge u/me/every1 we know
Only God knows who is chill nor unchill
Not trying to play 'Chill God'
I am a firm believer in divine chilltervention
But n e ways,
decided to go ahead and judge u
Just wanted to play a chill game of foosball
against u and Nico
But once again, u kinda ruined it.
You kept reaching on the table
making a 'little man' run around with 2 of ur fingers
kicking the ball
trying to cheat
I still won
but it was kinda annoying
I am all about the chill purity of the game
Not rlly all abt 'cheating' hard
Things got unchill when u got on the table
and did a sexie photo shoot
Wanted to play against some1 else
but the table was 'occupied.'
Tried 2 be a bro
Come 2 ur show
Check out my gurl Nico
Be supportive
Wish yall would take ur career more srsly
Act a lil bit more profesh
But maybe I'm asking 4 too much
Maybe I should just quit kidding myself
and remember that u r
the Unchill AZN bro
Only God can ________ me
Do yall think this bro is chill or unchill?
Would u play foosball with him?
Do u miss Nico?
Are child predator glasses still relevant?
Not sure what ur trying 2 do bro
Just vibing out with my bros
But then u should up
with a gddmn disposb
How r u so unchill?
Wish u'd just vibe out with some digital photography
maybe buy a low-end point and shoot
or a DSLR
Feel like even a polaroid would be chill
Dear Lord
Jesus Christ
Sweet Mother Mary of God
Pray for us Chill Bros
Now
and at the hour of our death
Wish u'd just drink a cold brewski with us
but I guess ur too sophisticated in an unchill way
Bros who 'can't just drink a beer'
are so intensely unchill
Just need a mini bottle
of Sutter Home wine
Want to be a cultured wine connoisseur
Our UnChill AZN BRO, Who art in unchill vibes
Unchill be Thy Name;
Thy chillness come,
Thy torn sweater be done,
on Chill as it is in Bro Alt heaven.
Give us this Chill our daily chillwave mp3,
and forgive us our unchill vibe harshers,
as we forgive those who unchill against us;
and lead us not into unchillness,
but deliver us from unchill azns & miscellaneous unchill people, places & ideas. Amen.
If u stick ur tongue to an Unchill AZN bro
Do u get stuck 2 him 4ever?
[via sticking ur tongue to a frozen pole in winter?]
Are bros who 'dont drink brew dogs' unchill?
Do u drink wine at bars?
Is 'drinking wine at bars' for moms?
Unchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Unchill AZN bro
gettin his sing on
with his girl Nico
banging on some sort of xylophone / glockenspiel / MIDI controller
Haunted House in the background
Just another house in suburbia
Neighbors are pissed
Waking every1 up
Distracting every1 from '2 and a Half Men' re-runs on Nick @ Nite
HEP CAT
HEE-ee-EE-EEE-P CAT
dun dun DUN dun DUN
You-ooo-OOOH
You need to share me with the werld
You can't have me tew yerself
mad vocal stylings
Bjork-wave vocals
Showing range
Sounding like some sort of Joanna Newsom-wave artist
with a weirdo voice
except ur an AZN bro
Heard u got a new 'vintage' microphone for ur live gig
So unchill
so azn
so unbro
This gimmick srsly 'ruins my week' every week
Blog content 'swirls down the shitter'
as Unchill AZN bro gets more 'buzz' for his band
Not sure abt ur new microphone
Is it 'vintage'?
Do u want to be 'just like Buddie Hollie [via Weezer]]?
Does this style of microphone better fit ur voice/personal brand?
Still unsure about getting hunfucked.
Need to hunfuck my hep cat
confused
haunted houses
Gonna just get buzzed
Gnite world
Chill vibes are dead.
R I P
Unchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Starting 2 get 2 know u, Unchill AZN Bro
For a long time, I just thought u were unchill
but I didn't ask myself 'Why?'
What made u become so unchill?
Why is ur personal brand so outrageous?
Really listening 2 u.
Asking u questions
Picking ur brain
Getting to know abt U/ur personal brand
U inspire me
This post writes itself [via U]
"I have the lowest self-esteem and in a way dressing rlly loud is a way to get out of my shell."
"People try to put me down, say I am a narcisit.'
"I went to private school...had to add bondage"
"I made it"
"Shredding, industrial"
"I recently wore duct tape in a strip tease"
"I was originally an art major but I sort of got into sociology because with all of these alcoholic little children running around, I thought, 'How can I study them?'"
"Belt from when I was in karate."
"wearing high pants like Steve Urkel."
"Hat by Lady Gaga dude."
"I don't really thrift--I go hunting."
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Feel like it all makes sense now.
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Feel like I understand.
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Maybe there's a little bit of unchill AZN bro in all of us.
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Every time I put on clothes, me = u = unchill azn bro
"I just can't stand being around things that look too normal. I just don't want to be walking around with the masses."
Honestly h8 the masses. H8 'norms.'
Might just wear a curtain
Do u identify with UnChill AZN bro?
Is there a lil bit of Unchill, azn, and bro inside of all of us?
What is ur personal brand like?
Do u feel like UnChill AZN Bro is a Chill bro now?
Did he teach u a lot in this video, or do u think he is more unchill than ever?
Did u change ur major? What was ur inspiration?
Unchill AZN bro
we're watching u
as closely as we watch a rising buzzband
not sure if we are 'choosing 2 watch u'
or if u just keep ruining chill vibes
so we can't really turn away
Have been hearing tons of noise about your buzzband
having shows in relevant art spaces
in the greater Los Angeles area
with some girl
Ya I know ur all hornie 2nite
Have been wondering 'what do they sound like?'
Like Crystal Castles?
Like Lady Gaga?
Like electroclash rave music?
Like The Eagles?
Glad we finally have answers
Hunny...
let's get hunfucked
Not sure what ur singing about.
Seems unchill, just talking about shaven pussies
over some drumbeats
Would be 'mad pissed' to hear this in 'da club'
when I am trying to listen to some Usher ft. Will.I.Am
(let's get hunfucked)
Just trying to interpret the lyrics
Who is hunny?
What is hunfucking?
What is the song about?
The state of the modern relationship between 2 young adults?
I know ur going to the bars
to get a little pussy
a shaven one
Trying to figure so much out right now
mind blown
Just want to attend 'band practice'
have a cold beer, get buzzed
talk over some fruity loops/garage band drum beats
(Let's get hunfucked)
Do u want to see UnChill AZN bro perform 'live'?
Do yall know what 'hunfucking' is?
Will Unchill AZN Bro release mp3s [via bandcamp]?
Have u seen Unchill AZN bro's band perform live?
Do they have 'mad rhymes' or are their 'weak rhymes' ruining ur chill vibes?
Should they sample nostalgic sounds of the 80s to ride chillwaves?
Is Unchill AZN bro's new band going to 'blow up'?
Are they ur new faves?
Will they replace the XX as the #1 gay-ish band in the world?
HUN
Fuck Me
Unchill AZN Bro is known in LA as "BJ Panda Bear." He is a relevant nightlife celeb.
Went out to a relevant dive bar / mixed media art space last week
Usually it is super chill, and turns into
a b.y.o.b. type of no-social-pressure
music-not-too-loud type of visual chill experience
Things were going well, but then u know who showed up...
So unchill...
So AZN...
So bro...
h8 u unchill AZN bro
(and ur lil buzzband too)
I wish u'd just 'give it up'
Or maybe just go audition for American Idol
and ride the William Hung wave
except I think he wore Dockers khakis
and not sure if u even know how to wear pants
Worried that one of ur balls might fall out of ur lil shorty shorts
and ruin the vibes for every1
Thinks were really chill
but then ur buzzband showed up and kinda ruined the vibes
Honestly kinda bummed about it.
Wish u'd just learn how to chill
and maybe put on a chill Hawaiian shirt
Are yall getting tired of unchill AZN bro?
We were just trying to watch a chill ass show
Relevant buzzband
that we booked in a super secret chill space
only a collection of the city's most alt bros
high level get together
not an electro rager.
First, u show up with neon paint on ur face
ur not a neon indian
ur an unchill neon azn
ruining the vibes, letting people know ur in the room
via ur intense personal brand
Why did u steal the microphone from the buzzband?
What r u trying to prove?
We all wanted 2 see the band
make sure that we could blog and tweet about them
to give them organic buzz
b4 they go mainstream
Not chill, bro
U always do this.
srsly getting super tired of it
U don't understand that life isn't an electro rager
it's a series of chillwaves
Why r u doing that?
Just because u r basically pantless, doesn't mean every1 has to be pantsless
not every1 has to have ur personal brand
it would be impossible
U really just ruin chill vibes all the effing time
Why do u do it?
Really want 2 know what ur trying 2 prove
Wanna ride chillwaves so bad
but then u just do what u do
Why do u look so satisfied?
Thnx 4 ruining the chill vibes again.
The buzzband got pissed and stormed out
promising never to play our scene again
Their career is probs over, since we won't be able to buzz them
2nite a lot of things went wrong
and everything woulda been okay if u had just chilled
h8 u Unchill AZN Bro
We were just trying to have a small intimate get-together
nothing too big, just a private lil party
didn't even make it a 'facebook event'
so that no1 got their feelings hurt
Everything was chill
listening to relevant albums on my iPod dock
serving pizza rolls, pizza bagels, and pizza hot pockets
grubbin down as hard as we were chillin
but then Unchill AZN bro shows up
wearing a 'shit load of balloons'
thinks he is flying around the room
sorta like the hit movie UP
Every1 was kinda thawed out
the vibe was officially 'dead'
Unchill AZN bro ruined everything
flaunting ur personal brand
ruining our convos
Just wish u'd learn that life is about chilling
and not about 'electro ragers'
He started to inhale helium
talking in a zany voice
then he started 2 pop the balloons
when no1 paid attention 2 him
people started to leave
the party was over.
Wish every1 just knew how 2 chill.
R u tired of unchill AZN bro ruining the chill vibes?
Did u cry during the movie UP / Toy Story 3?
Do u think this bro floated around the room, or was he just trying to be all Lady Gaga?
