I have never climaxed with another human being. I have ‘been with people’ but I still have never ‘came’ bc of a vagina, mouth, or bum hole. I mean, I really love the people I’ve been with, but I’m always just really uncomfortable since we have to ‘do it’ in public places. I want to make love to some1 in a place where I am comfortable. Really looking forward to my dorm room so that I can bring people home to sleep with.

The truth is, I want to make love to my true lover for the first time on top of an AZN. I was reading in AZNmagazine that utilizing an AZN as a bed/love seat / futon is really effective, and actually helps you thrust into your lover. Whether it is a man or a woman, if you are on top of an AZN, you can reach your lover’s gSpot 45% more effectively. I really wanna try it out, yall. Going to IKEA to buy one this weekend. ^_^

I remember in the past, I wanted to buy an AZN, and I came up with ’snarky’ descriptions abt what would be the best part about owning an AZN, but I failed to see that human furniture might be a huge trend. I read that in the Bruno film, Paula Abdul utilizes ‘filthy mexicans’ as furniture or something.

When I start design school, I will find a way to convert humans into functional objects/household tools. From what I understand, our Earth is overpopulated, and there aren’t enough jobs. I feel like some ppl should ‘find happiness’ by doing something simple like ‘being a reclining chair’, or possibly putting a piece of glass on their back and ‘chilling as a dinner table.’

Might get this TV stand, but my HDTV is ‘fucking huge’ so not sure if that is stable enough.

Would be chill to get a ‘bro shelf’ but might ‘turn ghey’ if I see peens too often.

I feel like a human Dorito holder would probably be something that would go well in my apartment.

Just want 2 build a comfortable home, where I feel safe enough to ‘climax’/'cum’. ^_^

Previous Posts about Human Trade
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/human-trade

Previous Posts about buying an AZN
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/what-would-u-do-if-u-bought-azn-reader.html

Photograph from when my AZN tried to escape and I had to go ’spotlighting’ in the wilderness of Los Angeles to try to ‘find’ (recapture + punish) him

If u could buy 1 piece of human furniture, what race + type of furniture would it be?