We fight against the Corrupt Indie Machine 4 u.
This week, a battle was launched against Carles by Justin Vernon. He stood against Independent Indie Media. He stood against The Indie Truth. He stood against indie free speech and the Progressive Alt Blogosphere.
Many speculated that he was a part of the Corrupt Indie Machine.
Perhaps he has seen the light, taking to #Twitter to issue a formal apology 2 Carles. He said, "sorry CRLS."
In the fight against the Corrupt Indie Machine, maybe we should all be sorry. Sorry 4 letting our indie society come 2 this.
Should Carles have apologized 2 Bron Iver?
Is Carles just 'milking this meme 4 hits'?
Is Carles 'a complete effing ass hole' who is 'self-obsessed' and only cares abt promoting the brand of his slow loading blog?
Who are the winners and losers of the Bon Iver Vs Carles battle?
How can we win the war against the Corrupt Indie Machine?
Is Bon Iver 'actually a chill bro' or a harshly vibed bro, taking to Twitter 2 voice too many of his dark thoughts?
Which indie artists should be banned from Twitter by their publicists?
Do u <3 the new era of 'indie journalism' where blogs basically just over-analyze minuscule, unimportant tweets that are actually just the irrelevant, passive thoughts of artists who are bored?
Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.
Carles is the popular blogger from the popular internet website HIPSTER RUNOFF.
The Corrupt Indie Machine is a massive conspiracy between the Indie Media, Blogs, Buzzbands, Buzz Humans and (Major and Indie) Labels to produce and farm inauthentic, inorganic, artificial buzz.
The Dirty Projectors are a critically respected buzzband, whose buzz trajectory underwent a massive metamorphosis in 2k9 after adjusting their band lineup. However, after the recent Twitter beef that Bon Iver's lead singer started with the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF, many other relevant buzz humans and buzzbands are rushing to support the #cyberbullying and #slutshaming of Carles. The Dirty Projectors backup singer Amber Coffman is the next to speak out against Carles and his controversial editorial voice. She supports Bon Iver, claiming that HIPSTER RUNOFF is a site that exists to "tries to cheapen + ruin everyone's hard work, everything that is positive/fun. so dark."
It seems like there is a TRUE indie war brewing between buzzbands rebelling against the blogs that buzz them. Earlier today, Carles went on a massive tweet spree, throwing out indie conspiracies about how buzz is truly created due to secret pacts and gladhanding between major music websites, indie labels, and relevant buzz celebrities. There is truly a Blogosphere Civil War happening right before our eyes. Whose side are you on?
Amber went on to tweet:
"it's not like @hipsterrunoff doesn't know how to be funny. they could do it without the hatred, but i guess h8tred gets u more "buzz" huh?"
In the new blogosphere world, 'talking mad shit' about a buzzband will get you more hits, buzz, comments, unique visitors, and social media links than the majority of crappy MP3s and videos by fringe buzzbands that no one cares about.
In the past, Carles has 'riffed' and/or 'joked' on the Dirty Projectors, claiming that lead singer Dave Longstreth 'operated his band' as if it was a cult of brainwashed wives, paying them not in money, but in the arbitrary currency of alt buzz. Carles has often 'joked' that the Dirty Projectors were unbuzzworthy before he acquired 3 PREMIUM hot altbaguettes, then, the male, misogynistic blogosphere 'took a liking to them' not just because of their vocal harmonies, but because of the sweet, sweet harmonies of their premium alt good looks when u go 2 see them live. They could just yodel and howl in discordance over random guitar riffs, and it would be sweet, sweet music to our eyes.
None of the altbaguettes could be reached for confirmation on their salary structure, song-writing royalties, or equity in the band. Much of what Carles says is not based on fact, some claiming that he is a 'parody' writer. But maybe anonymous parody goes too far, cyberbullying under the cloak of secrecy without any accountability. Twitter is abuzz with conspiracy theories, claiming that the only reason the Dirty Projectors issued public comment is to construct a narrative for their upcoming 2k12 album cycle.
Buzzbands are truly turning on Carles and HIPSTER RUNOFF. After his critically acclaimed coverage of #LDRGate, it seems like buzzbands want the blogosphere to 'go back to the way it used to be' in the beginning. Now, blogs are fighting for hits, doing anything they can to turn indie musicians into CELEBRITIES, processed like a meat market. Perhaps now we are only just learning how the sausage is actually made in this corrupt indie industry.
Is the buzzluminati trying to 'silence' Carles?
Are buzzbands turning on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Do u still <3 Amber even though she is harshing the HRO vibes?
Does not even Dave Longstreth care abt what Amber Coffman has 2 say [via domineering buzzband leaders]?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'effing toast'?
Will every1 do ANYTHING 4 buzz?
IS everything 'going to shit'?
Who can we trust?
What is happening?
Are u on #TeamCarles or #TeamDP or #TeamBonIver?
Why Can't We All Just Ride Chillwaves 2gether [via getting along]
-Carles
Amber Coffman is the leading altbaguette in The Dirty Projects.
HIPSTER RUNOFF is a blog worth blogging abt, created by Carles that is trying 2 stay relevant. It blogs abt buzzbands, alt_stuff, and memes.
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Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.
Bon Iver is a tenured indie buzzband who brought the soothing sounds of a lonely man in the pure rural American vibes to the mainstream, recently earning a Grammy nomination for his contribution to the arts and mindie scene. He is at the mainstream indie mountain top, mad record sales, critical buzz, truly on top of the world. You have to remember that Bon Iver was buzz incubated in a time when there was 'no internet h8', and instead of creating backlash to generate buzz, you just had to release decent MP3s and promote your local scene. The entire indie game is changing so quickly that sometimes it is hard to keep up with the modern backlash-wave-indie-celebrity-driven-zeitgeist.
Recently, in the spirit of a true alt, Justin Vernon is on record as saying 'Eff the Grammies, man!'
It seems as though today, he is saying 'Eff you' to another very important cultural institution: The popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF and the blogger/mastermind behind it all named 'Carles.' After a recap post about the band's performance on SNL entitled 'Bon Iver sounds like dying indie rock on SNL, has mysterious HUGE black teenager in backing band, Vernon took to his passionate Twitter account to #slutshame Carles. Previously, Carles blogged about his fitness regimen, highlighting his dedication to health and fitness [link]. We are not sure what Justin Vernon (commonly referred to as Bon Ivbro) has taken issue with.
However, he has gone on record, calling HIPSTER RUNOFF basically 'the scum of the Earth.' Right now, the entire indie blogosphere has been muddied by TABLOID JOURNALISM, especially after the rise of Lana Del Rey. Even the most established indie sites and blogs are lost, searching for an authentic editorial voice in the face of booming SEO results and ANGRY readers. While some blogs will continue to use their weak editorial voice to write 'lukewarm praise' of any embeddable content made by a widely known indie celeb, Carles MUST be celebrated for his position as the Last Authentic Content Farmer Standing. Recently, the New York Times and the New Yorker celebrated The Passion of the Carles.
Others claim that Carles is dedicated to eternally belittling the artistic intentions of every one, attempting to cheapen real people who are 'trying to do something that helps the world.' They fear that he has evolved into the last indie gatekeeper, creating the (usually artificial) narrative that could either MAKE or BREAK a buzzband OR buzz human's entire career. The truth is, Carles might be the dead end of overvalued cultural commentators who have no authority to pass any judgment on anything, but still write words that sound important and sometimes impact 'reality.'
The truth is, Carles has given so much to the indie scene, and for buzzbands to GANG UP on him 2 cyberbully could lead to a backlash against said bands. If we take a step back from the situation, we are all just staring at the impending indie apocalypse straight in the face. Sometimes it is important to ask yourself: Are you a part of the problem, or are you a part of the solution? After everything that Carles has done for the indie scene on a day-to-day basis, some say that Vernon has crossed the line and needs to do a wider examination of the state of Buzz. On the other hand, many are calling for the head of Carles. It is only a matter of time before Indie's Last Battle results in the death of all of us.
Justin Vernon could not be reached for comment. He is rumored to be watching the film 'Gettysburg' on a sweet home entertainment system.
R u on #TeamBonIver or #TeamCarles?
Was it mean of Bon Iver to LASH OUT at Carles like this?
Has Carles 'crossed the line'?
Is Bon Iver 'just another buzz human who hates Carles'? [via growing list]
Will the NPR cool dads who vibe to Bon Iver 'boycott' reading HRO, or are they already on lame content farms anyways?
Is Bon Iver 'in pain'?
Is this just a 'generational disconnect issue'?
Is this the beginning of the end of HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Will Bon Iver lead a campaign 2 put HRO out of biz?
Does Bon Iver have 'rose colored glasses on' when he visits the blogosphere, expecting every blogpost to have the same loving tone as a local news puff piece?
Who is 'right' and who is 'wrong'?
Does Carles TOTALLY FUCKING SUCK?
In a way, do we all totally effing suck bc we are buzz humans trapped on the internet reading abt buzz humans?
Why can't we all just ride chillwaves 2gthr?
Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.
I just saw this tweet go 'indie viral' by one of the dudes in the Fleet Foxes. I am not sure if it is the lead singer bro just 'trying to be controversial' to get some album buzz or if he really does h8 other bands. What do yall think abt bands that talk shit abt other bands? I feel like it is natural. The indiesphere is a competition, not an orgy of collaboration. We can't all be Grammy winners.
I really h8 modern athletes because they are all rich and they don't really compete against one another because they are sorta in this 'big fraternity.' Maybe indie is like that now... Every1 is so happy to 'just be relevant' that they are discouraged from speaking their minds... I don't want to live in a world where we are censored just 4 the sake of staying tactful... I want 2 live in a world where all humans, buzzbands, and blogs are free to 'talk mad shit' on the reg.
Shame on him. He needs 2 realize that the blogosphere = a symbiotic relationship between blogs and buzzbands. We need eachother 2 live, 2 survive, 2 thrive. If a buzzband can't release relevant albums, maybe they can just 'shit on other ppl' and then we can all talk abt it.
Here is the entire 'screenshot', where he also says that the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF is the #1 source for indie news memes + commentary on the internet.
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF the #1 indie blog on the internet?
Do too many blogs post shit that no1 cares abt/sounds terrible just 2 get hits?
Do blogs 'try too hard' to 'be controversial' whether it is abt an opinion they have, or an opinion that some other random indie band tweeted abt?
Has the indie criticism-sphere 'degenerated' beyond resuscitation?
Do u think any twitter indie celebs are 'funny' or 'insightful'?
Do u think Fleet Foxbro h8s MIA because of her meme muckraking model?
Will Fleet Foxes win a post-Arcade Fire Grammy?
Will they write bleepy bloop songs that appeal to new chillwave demographics and 'get out of the conceptual forest', or did they 'learn from Sufjan's mistake'?
Do yall <3 when bands talk shit abt other bands?
Do u prefer bands that don't really release mp3s, and just generate as many blog headlines as possible?
Will Fleet Foxes 'overtake' the indie twittersphere now that Ed Droste retired from twitter and Best Coast/WAVVES are 'overexposed'?
The Fleet Foxes are a Seattle-based folkwave band signed to Sub Pop Records.
Passion Pit is a popular indie buzzband who has broken into many mainstream markets, inspiring tons of 'critical backlash' from the blogosphere because the blogosphere just wants buzzbands 2 be authentic 4evr. Some say that Passion Pit is brilliant pop music, while others claim that they represent the mainstreamification of indie music.
It seems like the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF has put the popular buzzband Passion Pit on their 'shit list', continually referring to them as "The Pashy Pits" and branding them as "entry level bleepy bloopy indie rock." Recently, some bro in Passion Pit named Nate Donmoyer did an interview with a college newspaper, and the college paper asked for his analysis on the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF.
What then transpired was a huge 'rant', where Passion Pit basically shits on Carles, the HIPSTER RUNOFF brand, and the ALT REPORT brand:
V: So do you read Hipsterrunoff at all?
ND:: Yes, totally! Carles.V: It's been just calling Passion Pit out the last four or five months it seems, ripping your ‘buzzband' to pieces with a lot of satire.
ND: I've been a huge fan of his blog for a while now, and to ever be mentioned on it is an honor whether it's positive or negative. The problem is I'm like 99.9 percent sure that it's not just him anymore.V: Yeah, the writing has really gone downhill.
ND: Yeah, especially, what is it, The Alt Report? I'm 100 percent sure he doesn't write any of those. It's an honor to be slammed in that. It's totally fine with me. We totally take it to heart.
Has the ALT REPORT diluted the HIPSTER RUNOFF brand?
Does Carles write the Alt Report posts?
R u 'pissed' that this college journalist bro was 'critical' of the brilliant content/voice/tone on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is it an 'honor' to be 'slammed' on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is it an honor for Carles to be 'slammed' by [miscellaneous college newspaper]?
Is Nate Donmoyer a 'chill bro'?
Do all buzzbands read HIPSTER RUNOFF, hoping for a 'glowing review' by Carles?
Do yall like Passion Pit more now that they have confirmed they are all huge 'HRO fans', or does that make u want to stop reading HIPSTER RUNOFF?
It seems like there is some sort of 'huge storm' brewing between Carles, and many of the 2k9-2k14 buzzbands. There is a complex 'love-hate relationship', where you seek the attention of HIPSTER RUNOFF, but at the same time, fear the impact on ur brand if Carles <3/h8s u too much.
Is this 'bigger news' than the time Best Coast told Carles to 'eat a dick'? [link]
Should Carles be a chiller bro with Pashy Pits?
Is "Pashy Pit" a derogatory nickname, or an 'affectionate pet name'?
Are yall on #Team_Carles or #TeamPash?
Is Passion Pit 'right'? Has HIPSTER RUNOFF gone down the shitter?
Is the ALT REPORT written by 'Jeff', an intern from the University of Buzzbands?
Which brand has more lamestreamers 4 fans: HIPSTER RUNOFF or Passion Pit?
Passion Pit is a bleepy bloop indie pop band that tons of entry-level alts <3.
Read more>>>>
HIPSTER RUNOFF is a blog worth blogging abt, created by Carles that is trying 2 stay relevant. It blogs abt buzzbands, alt_stuff, and memes.
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Carles is the popular blogger from the popular internet website HIPSTER RUNOFF.
[EXCLUSIVE MP3]
STREAM: BEST COAST INTERVIEW WHERE BEST COAST PANS HIPSTER RUNOFF
Best Coast went on the popular indie satellite radio channel Sirius XMU and did an 'interview' with some sort of radio disc jockey bro. Previously, HIPSTER RUNOFF and Best Coast have been in a 'war of words', causing one of the year's most explosive blog vs buzzband conflicts [link].
Here is a 'recap' of the juicy part of the interview:
The bro asks 'What's up with ur blog beef with HIPSTER RUNOFF?"
Then Best Coast is all like 'that guy sux' and outlined why HRO sucked:
-he posts shit abt her + her boyfriend, WAVVES
-much of the site's content + commenters are 'ignorant'
-she 'doesnt give a shit' if HIPSTER RUNOFF 'exposes' buzzbands
-she eventually 'chills out' just wants Carles to 'do his thing' and 'let her do her thing' and leave 1 another alone
-Carles of HIPSTER RUNOFF 'stole her fucking weed' at the Converse launch show
The weed drama 'went down' when Best Coast tweeted that she lost a 'huge bag of weed.'
Carles then tweeted from his @hipsterrunoff account that he recovered a gallon sized-baggy of weed.
Do yall think Carles is a 'dank thief'?
The 'talking head' interviewer then goes on to call the HIPSTER RUNOFF guy a 'bozo', jumping on the Best Coast bandwagon, possibly to 'try to get in her pants' [via WAVVES love triangle].
The Best Coast vs. HIPSTER RUNOFF blog vs buzzband fight seems to have 'no end in sight' as magazines, blogs, and reviewers will surely ask her about it since it is possibly the 'most compelling, rebloggable content' that an interview with her could produce. The question will lead to reflections on new media, indie blog journalism and the TMZification of the blogosphere, and what happens when ur in an alt celebrity relationship. This is a 'perfect storm' of events as Best Coast is forecasted to chart in the top 20 of the Billboard charts, and will be looking to create an even more accessible album in 2k12 that can sell more records.
Do yall think Carles stole Best Coast's weed?
Does Bethany seem 'chill' or do u still h8 her?
Are yall on #TeamCarles or #TeamBestCoast?
Does HIPSTER RUNOFF blog about 'shit that no1 should care about' or does it offer a premium indiesphere experience?
Should Carles 'eat dicks' and 'stop stealing weed'?
Will Best Coast's next album help her reach 'Feist levels', no longer relying on blog coverage?
Have u ever found a bag of weed?
Do drugs tear friendships apart?
Did u re-sell it for money, or did u smoke it?
If u found a bag of weed, is it safe to smoke it, or is it important to find a trustworthy dealer?
What will be the next great buzzband vs blog fight of 2k10/2k11/2k12?
R u sad that this is the beginning of the end of the Best Coast album cycle?
Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats
Read more>>>>
Recently, the fuzzy buzzy buzzband Best Coast 'lashed out' at the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF, telling the blog to 'eat a dick.' [link] Many assumed that the 'fight was over', but things seem to have 'severely escalated' now that Best Coast drummer Alexandria Koehler has accused the HRO readership and commenting community of 'acquiring carpal tunnel syndrome' from having too much 'time on their hands.'
Alexandria Koehler is the former drummer of the buzzband Vivian Girls. It seems like Best Coast has a larger commercial opportunity + possibly 'makes better music', so she defected from the former buzzband to the new hit summer buzzband. While the ALT REPORT credits her for making a wise career move, many purists of the beach fuzz genre think she should have 'pledged loyalty to her former band', similar to the situation with LeBron James in Cleveland.
Does n e 1 know if Best Coast is just 1 girl, or an entire band? Confused.
Just want to listen to their music and vibe out instead of thinking about how they h8 me.
It seems difficult to decipher Best Coast's slander of HIPSTER RUNOFF's readers + commenters.
Carpal Tunnel seems to be some sort of 'syndrome' /'nerve disorder' that u acquire from performing a repetitive motion. Not sure if she meant that HRO readers were mouse clickers and/or 'losers who type comments out on the internet' 2 much. Or maybe she meant that they spent all day stroking their erect shafts, losers living at home with their parents, masturbating all day as they listened to buzzbands and watched hardcore pornography.
Do yall know what she meant?
Is the Best Coast album the 'summer album' of 2k10?
Are yall sad that Best Coast h8s HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Should Carles of HIPSTER RUNOFF 'extend an olive branch', taking 'the high road' in this blog fight?
Do u wish we could just ride chillwaves again?
Is the fuzzy buzzy genre getting out of hand?
Is the blogosphere about 2 die?
Is WAVVES chill with HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Do u have carpal tunnel syndrome?
Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats
Read more>>>>
Best Coast is a popular buzzband getting 'tons of buzz' from some of the biggest indie mp3 blogs on the internet. HIPSTER RUNOFF is an in-depth music blog, meme aggregator, and a buzzband news source + analysis mecca.
It seems like Best Coast 'hates' HIPSTER RUNOFF, tweeting that the popular blog can 'go eat a dick.' She had the option to say HRO could 'suck a dick', or even 'take a cock up its ass', but 'eating a dick' was a passionate hate message that she wanted the entire blogosphere and twittersphere to hear.
WAVVES could not be reached for comment.
This is not the first time HIPSTER RUNOFF has been 'hated on' by a buzzband. Recently Neon Indian got 'mad pissed' at HIPSTER RUNOFF for post-erroneous reporting [link].
Does Best Coast h8 being blogged about on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Has HIPSTER RUNOFF been 'harsh' on Best Coast?
Are buzzbands angry when HIPSTER RUNOFF blogs about them?
Does Best Coast h8 all blogs, or just HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is Best Coast pissed at HIPSTER RUNOFF for blogging about her everytime she twitpics bags of dank?
Do u think WAVVES and BEST COAST get blazed and talk about how unchill HIPSTER RUNOFF is?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'a fucking sleazy ass shitty blog site'?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF bad 4 the blogosphere?
Why do u think Best Coast h8s HIPSTER RUNOFF?
No official response has been made from the @HIPSTERRUNOFF twitter [link]
Should Carles and Best Coast 'chill' and smoke some fat blunts, riding chillwaves to fuzzbuzz heaven 2gether?
Are yall on #TEAMCARLES or #TEAM_BEST.WAVV?
Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats
Read more>>>>
