HIPSTER RUNOFF

Photo via the cobrasnake

I'm searching mad hard for a summer look, yall. Just need to 'keep it fresh.' I am sort of looking for something that fits in with the modern world--not trying to copy aesthetics from the past several years. Thinking about getting some sort of bowl cut, but then also possibly having 'a lil tail' in the back [via mullet]. I just want people to know that I am 'willing to adapt' to trends, and that I'm not really stuck with just 1 mediocre look.

This summer, I think I want to be 'post-sexual', maybe a little bit like an androgynalt. Don't want people to know what sex I am. I want ppl 2 b attracted to me for 'what's on the inside' and not because of bullshit biological factors like 'gender' and 'sexual organs.' I just feel like we need to start realizing that you can make love with any1 if we want to have peace in the Middle East. We need to stop worrying about bullshit societal and biological norms.

But srsly yall, do u know any good summer looks? Wonder if gladiator sandals will come back--saw them selling some at WalMart.

Should I just go to the gym to 'get ripped' then buy some board shorts and get a summer job as a lifeguard?

If I get a record hat, will it melt in the sun if I wear it to a pool partie?

Yall I need yalls help. do u know any good 'summer stores' other than the local thrift store "The Old Navy"?

[Photo by The Cobrasnake]
When I grow up into the alt that I will one day be, I want to have a cut of hair in the shape of a spacious mixing bowl, with a well-defined plane of man bangs. (Sorry yall--still just trying 2 trendhunt a lot in 2k9. Not sure if I'm going to convert my progressive 1999 Caesar cut into a bowl cut just yet).

This bro is me.
This browl cut is me.
The bowl on my head is my hair.
These are my man bangs--they are functional
/// keeping the bowl out of my eyes.
/// and my metaphorical 'head' held 'high.'

XX BONUS PHOTOGRAPHER BRO XX

I am a photographer bro
in a sea of alts
Searching for
meaningful images
to capture 4evr

While I don't believe in G-d
or an afterlife
I kind of believe in souls
because I capture something when I take pictures

Learned how to hack the web
and build a site
that is web 1.0
making it more authentic than web 2.0 bullshit

These are my dreams
to one day become a relevant photographer
for magazines
and blogs
and nightlife
and life
and pix of my bffs
with a valuable site
that people fly me to 'cover'

In 10 years, you will look back on my website
and it will be kind of like a relevant cultural museum
kinda like
the graveyard that is myspace

ALTBRO or ALTBAG is an HRO gimmick where I find pix of alternative males. Readers then must decide if the person pictured is an altBro or an altBag.

Please justify your answer in order to be mailed your $5 Chili's gift card.

For example: "He is an altBro because he has a gymbag full of miscellaneous alternative g00dies and his palestinian scarf.  And also his sunglassies."
or "He is an altBag because of his progressive bowlcut + postAltBro humble loafers."

[Photo by Plastic Choko]

What do yall think he is?  Kinda leaning towards _____. h8 being 'undecided.'

I'm not sure how I would feel if I went to a 'gentleman's club', and then some conceptual-stripper approached me about a lap dance.

Do alt-bros go to strip clubs?
Do alt-broads ever consider becoming strippers, or are they more likely to just work at a coffee shop & make the same amount of tip money from entry-level-meaningful alts who come in on a daily basis because they 'think they are going to hook up with her since she chats with him whenever he orders a soy latte, and he compliments her on her music selection.'

XX BONUS HUMBLE AZN IN SHORTY SHORTS XX

<33333333333
In 2k9, I want to see more AZNs in shorty shorts, and non-AZNs in AZN bowl cuts.

[Photos by Style Sightings]

Should I put my Nikes on ebay and buy some variety of clear sandals?
Should I put my hair on ebay and buy a bowl cut?
Should I grow/buy a moustache and go 2 a moustache partie?

[VIA Appeal2TheEye]