HIPSTER RUNOFF

They're all over there laughing at us. It sucks. My whole life, I have been raised thinking that America was the best country on the planet, but I think it might have all been a lie. Maybe we were just really good at branding. Feel like we just control what it means to 'be cool', but we might not even have that n e more. Because of the internet 'coolness' doesn't really have a 'source' and the brand can exist anywhere with no point of origin.

Sad about the economic crisis, and how AZNs have been smarter than us about saving 'money' and only spending what they have. I think America is beautiful. We've had a good run, but maybe we're not as special as we thought we were. Kinda sad. I still feel 'cooler' than a lot of foreigners, and like smarter.

Think that America is important since we have so many famous people and the best professional sports leagues. Sometimes I think that those are the most important elements in 'keeping your country relevant/in power.' Just feels sad that maybe we're as poor as a 3rd World country. Wonder if the 'economic crisis' will ever hit me. I feel sad for all of the people at my Business School who decided to major in Finance with dreams of 'making it big' as an Investment Banker. That was probably as krazie as my dream to start an independent record label/coffee house/underground book store/social network for zany people.

Is it cool to 'be better' towards AZNs who live in America, or are they 'one of us'? Or should we construct some 'internment camps' in the middle of the USA where we force all AZNs to live and do manual labor, even if they are respected within society? Not trying 2 be radical, just know that we have 2 hold some1 accountable for our crisis, and it might 'unite' our country if we single out a group of people who are responsible. Kinda like when they had 2 find communist actors in Hollywood.

I don't really know much about China, except that they are 'commie reds', violate a lot of human rights, and pollute a lot. Learned that from the newspaper.

Kinda wish we could go back in time 2 the Olympics back when they built those meme buildings like 'the birds nest.'

Should I h8 azns and hold them responsible for the destruction of my country?
Or should I move out of the USA and move to an authentic city like Paris/Beijing/Tokyo/Cairo?

I used to feel safe about being an American, since we were #1 in everything, but now I don't know if I want to bring a kid into this world without the United States of America being what it once was. Not sure if my kid could handle growing up in a place that's 'not the best.'

What is the #1 country in the world right now, yall?

As I have documented, it's difficult to take street fashion blogs, party pix sites, and people seriously n e more because product placement is ruining everything.

For example, I can't evaluate this pair of alt breasteses without looking at some sort of energy drink. Even though she has Agyness Deyn piercings, I can't help but wonder if she was airbrushed by the N.R.G. drink company.

It sounds like a drink that is marketed towards AZNs, though, because it has the word DRAGON in it. Every1 knows that the national animal of Asia is 'Dragon'.
AZNs love dragons so much that the Chinese Commy Polluters are building this super mall/hotel/business complex to resemble a dragon. (u might notice Michael Phelps Natatorium and Birds Nest Dome in the background).

Do AZNs like dragons so much bc they wish they could breathe fire?

[N00d by LNP]

Fashion is kind of like a box of chocolates--u never know when you're going to encounter a zany AZN in a sillie hat wearing a business casual blazer, leggings, a keut skirt, and aerobic shoes. I wonder what it would be like to live in Asia. The closest I would ever want to live to Asia is probably Australia.

Is the U.S.S.R. part of Asia? Did n e 1 major in geography or history?

If I had to live in Asia, I'd probably live in Japan. I would definitely avoid living in 'the Middle East.' I think the Middle East is giving Asia a bad name, and we should consider creating a new continent called 'Saddy Hussy & The Middle Easts.'

Here's Saddamn wearing a t-shirt that promotes his continent to get some 'viral blog buzz' going.

Do yall believe in "peace in the middle east"? (Is Egypt part of Asia or Africa or Persia?)

XX BONUS AZN WITH A HANDCUFF NECKLACE XX

Do u think he ever kidnaps n e 1 with those handcuffs, or are they just for the sake of fashion?

Have u ever kidnapped some1 (accidentally or on purpose)?
Have u ever accidentally been in handcuffs 4 something u didn't do?
Have u ever been 'prejudiced against' because of your inherent/external alt-ness?
Did the mainstream cop not understand U?

[Photos by Manila Style]

SPEAKING OF AZNS....
Did the Chinese cheat at the Olympics? Do they cheat at everything?
Are these girls 16? Do u live in a country where it would be against the law to get tugged by them?

<3 Olympic Coverage <3
Olympics: Bringing out the racist in U?

In the spirit of the Olympics, I figured I should try to find out who the world's ALT-est athletes are. Athletes aren't just people who play sports. They have personalities, too. While most are just the typical ass holes who probably just 'listen to hiphop to get pumped up before games', some athletes display that they exist in a different world than the rest of the cliched professional athlete fraternity.

I want to support the alt-est athletes in the world.

It might be Steve Nash and Thierry Henry.

But Steve Nash also has a bro-mance with Baron Davis.

It might be Cristiano Ronaldo since he is orange and has a fauxhawkmullet.

But Kobe Bryant drives a Delorean and grew up in Italy. That's pretty authentic.

Fernando Valenzuela was significant to the Mexis/southern Californians. He was the first person to ever wear a Dodger cap.

Even David Beckham wears Dodger caps now

Is it alt to play American soccer + live in Los Angeles?

Dennis Rodman had a pretty krazie personal brand. He also banged Madonna.

Alex Rodriguez also banged Madonna. Does that make him alt?

Kerri Strug might be a lil alt.

Was Tonya Harding ALT before or after she got THICK? Is it okay to call mean people 'fatties'?

Greg Louganis was GHEY and he hit his head on the diving board. That was around when people didn't 'get' AIDs so it was kind of a big deal. Glad I live in educated, tolerant times.

Brian Boitano was also a GHEY Olympic icon. Wonder if China lets their athletes be 'gay.'

Rafael Nadal wears capri pants.

Michael Phelps was pretty alt when he had his post-post-ironic mainstream moustache.

Without a moustache, he is just an awkward freak bodied boy.

What about NBA player Kyle Korver. He looks like a caveman had a baby with Ashton Kutcher.

Ron Artest is pretty zany!

Remember the time he was so alt that he attacked white people in the stands?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuPBbKCW1no&hl=en&fs=1]

Barry Bonds is pretty authentic for using roids.

Mike Tyson got a sillie face tatty! Such a sillie, African-American personal brand!

Cuba Gooding Jr. won over the hearts of America when he was an athlete in that movie.

But the cast of the SANDLOT was pretty alt. They wore vintage clothing.

Remember that time Michael Vick raised all of those dogs to fight other dogs? He's chillin in jail, makin friends and stuff.
<3 pet owners <3
pet owners = authentic

Sprinters with no legs are pretty meaningful-core. Pretty authentic.

I think this specific pair of Air Jordans are pretty alt.

No1 likes the Spurs and they are better than every1 else. Does that make them 'hipster' according to the commonly accepted definion?

The Williams Sisters are fashion icons. They used 2 cheat to let 1 another win.

WHO IS THE ALT-EST ATHLETE IN THE WORLD?
IS IT MAINSTREAM TO 'ENJOY THE OLYMPICS'?
Do u care about ur country?

N e ways... how about the Opening Ceremonies? They were designed so well. I minored in performance art, so I genuinely appreciate stuff like that.

What's more important: sports or music?
Which industry will die first: sports or music?
When will people believe that they are entitled to 'watching sports' for free?
When will people believe that they are entitled to 'experiencing music' for free?