HIPSTER RUNOFF

Some people don't realize
how 'elevated' the VIP experience is
at any concert, show, or relevant VIP alt event

It's more than just 'perks'
Free gear
Free alcohol
Free LUNA/KIND/CLIF bars
Hobknobbing with tons of relevant influencers
Mingling with buzzbands
Networking with sponsors to lineup 'deals' for Q3
Brainstorming new sponsored opportunities

VIP is privilege
A celebration of how hard you have worked to either 'be relevant'
or how hard u worked to fool the world into thinking ur VIP
Even if it means being stuffed in an oversized Jansport backpack
some ppl will risk everything 4 it

I'd do anything for my bros...
Well... almost anything...
I would NEVER sacrifice my own VIP status to take this risk
True friends understand that you are the VIP,
after tons hard work and a series of favors + connections
It is also disrespectful & entry-level to festival organizers to disrespect their sacred zone

Non-VIP friends they are happy to be 'so close' to the bubble of relevancy
There will be chances 2 feel more relevant
But this is clearly a non-VIP move
by entry-level-pseudo VIPs

Will u spend ur entire life 'pretending/scheming 2 be VIP'
or 'earning VIP status'?

If you are a VIP
U understand that VIP-topia it is a place worth protecting
Exclusivity is a way of life, a protective forcefield + wall + moat from the evils of outsiders
The 'VIP pass' is a sacred desert oasis, a precious commune of buzz and ideas
We must not cheapen, abuse, and rape our resources.... Ruining what is ours...

Getting snuck into VIP is similar to an illegal immigrant sneaking into the USA
Pursuing the promise of a 'better life'... a 'more meaningful experience'

but at the end of the day
Even if u sneak in successfully
They will never be an American
and their life will only be marginally better for tiny moments
that last less than 140 characters

It's all about 'the idea' of being VIP/American...
The pursuit of 'the dream'
But what happens if u pursue that dream 'the wrong way'?
Sure u get tons of free booze and get to tweet that u were next to alt famous ppl...
But you still have less than 200 followers on twitter.

The truth is...
Even if ur VIP
u might not even be in VIP
u might be in a 'smokescreen' VIP area that is sponsored for pseudo-VIPs
This sounds like hell 2 me.

V I P
V I P We all want 2 b
V I P the most VIP VIP
V I P

At what price would u become VIP?
Have u ever been 'fake VIP' at an event?
Have u ever 'tricked ur way' into VIP?
Have u ever stuffed urself in a trunk/backpack to sneak 'off campus for lunch' / into a VIP area?
Will music festivals ban 'huge ass Jansports'?
If u were buying a backpack purely for sneaking-in2-places, which 1 would u pick? North Face?
Is 'sneaking into VIP' the new 'fence jumping'?

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Lists: Californians, music festivals, rich ass ppl

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I attend a relevant music festival to see my favourite buzzband
Standing in the crowd with so many faces
Facing the stage, admiring the band, seeing massive props on the stage
My mental image of a band manifesting itself in front of me
The very first physical experience with the band
as opposed to just a digital experience as I became familiar with the band
feels like a mix of a personal, artistic, + consumer experience

One large X behind the band, symbolizing the brand of the band
unifying the digital brand with the physical brand

Photo by last night's party

Enjoying the show, re-interpreting my perception of the band
Either growing closer 2 the band
or feeling distant from the digital image of the band

I step behind the stage
behind the curtain
of the Wizard of Oz
The Wizard of a Buzz Band

I have 'uncovered the Wizard of Buzz'
The X which was once so absolute and intimidating
is actually just a plywood structure
possibly built in the garage of a local artist who bought the supplies at Home Depot

Behind every great idea is something simple
at the core of every human is a sad, scared individual
behind every brand is a simple idea
Everything feels so fragile

Should we keep the curtain up
not knowing what is behind
so the image stays carefully constructed
or do we pull aside the curtain
exposing the truth
attempting to get vulnerable
get real
get raw

Behind every buzzband are a group of humans
searching 4 the same thing that u r
Maybe at the core of every human is a chill bro
waiting to bro down with a group of authentic bros

Letting go of my digital image of a band
No longer thinking they are 'cool' because they live life on the road, making music
but instead feeling more vulnerable
Like fragile humans playing music for fragile humans in the audience
Scared, seeking acceptance
Seeking a connection with humanity

The Wizard of Buzz
those who construct the image of a band
PR Companies, Managers, Record Labels, Marketing Firms
Trying 2 see thru the buzz
2 find something 'more'--a better reason 4 connecting with a band

Plywood megastructures
Will one day
Be used as firewood

MP3s
will one day
get lost forever when ur hard drive crashes

Buzzbands
will one day
go back to being 'regular people'
(unless they are Coldplay/U2/Radiohead/etc.)

Follow the Buzzy Brick Road. Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.
Follow the Buzzy Brick, Follow the Buzzy Brick,
Follow the Buzzy Brick Road.

We're off to see the BuzzBro, The Wonderful Buzzbro of Buzz.
You'll find he is a Buzz of a Bro! If ever a Bro! there was.
If ever oh ever a Bro! there was The Wizard of Buzz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because.
Because of the wonderful buzz he buzzes.
We're off to see the BuzzBro. The Wonderful Buzzbro of Buzz

The xx

Buzzband

The xx is a band from the UK that went kinda mainstream in 2k9

Lists: Members of the XX, 2k9 buzzbands

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Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Lists: Californians, music festivals, rich ass ppl

Read more>>>>

Sometimes music festivals aren't about watching live bands play mp3s in a live setting. It is about going outside, being around other human beings congregating with a group of like-minded people who live the same era / society / scene as u /// These are the People of Coachelly as photographed by the cobrasnakes. //////

All photos by thecobrasnake

Coachella seems like it was a really fun family event that you could bring ur kids to Pissed at my daughter for falling asleep, but I couldn't find a 3 day baby sitter for less than $300 Had to spend $100 on protective ear buds / head phones. Sad I couldn't borrow them from my bro who loads luggage into planes for Southwest Airlines H8 my dad + mom for tagging along and making sure I stayed alive the whole time. I guess they were right, because I got scared of alt terrorists backpack bombing the venue Wonder if Coachella was a safe place to bring your unborn child? Good place to bring ur family dog, just as long as u clean up the poop 'I thought this was the Regional Hot Dog Convention.' My bro got really hyper from eating too many french fries Will next year's Coachella be in 3d? A lot of films this year went 3d to make more money, so I think music festivals will have to go 3d in order 2 compete Were there more blipsters at Coachella or more Golden ppl? Feel like a lot of people showed up from a forest where they had just killed a bunch of animals to turn into post-ironic clothing Bear hat bro These people killed a few animals I think these people are from Montana, or some sort of conceptual state of existence/America. < Might just wear conceptually matching outfits with my bro. He will wear an ironic Eagle Shirt, and I will wear an ironic Dolphin shirt. Wonder where this girl got her XX shirt Wonder if XX bras were the big trend at Coachella

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Lists: Californians, music festivals, rich ass ppl

Read more>>>>

I was just looking at the Coachella festival jpg lineup announcement, and I felt sort of underwhelmed. So many bands that appeal to a lot of different people. It seems like they are going for a sort of 'nostalgic'/'ironic' type of experience this year. Like our chance to re-live the past without leaving behind all of the pleasures of today.

I sorta wonder if 'music festivals' are still going to be authentic/fun/organic/exciting experiences. In the latter stages of the 2k0 decade, we saw music festivals morph into huge corporate events. So many mainstreamers showed up at formerly alternative festivals that by the end of the decade, festival curators were catering to maltstream audiences by booking headliners such as Coldplay, the Kings of Leon, and Jack Johnson Bro.

It seems like music festivals aren't even 'about the music' any more. Bottles of water cost $5. Plastic bottles of beer cost $15. Buying band merch costs 500% more than the unit cost of a blank tshirt. Feels like if I wanted to pay to 'gawk at famous people from afar', I would get tickets to a professional sports team. Really hope that microfestivals begin to pop up. Secret gatherings of young professional alts + 'trustafarians' who are willing to pay top dollar for a unique experience, limiting the amount of entry levs at the music fest.

Wonder if by the end of the decade, we will be dropping off our kids at Hanny Montanny music festivals.

Mind is truly 'blown' by the coachella lineup. Part of me wants to say it 'sucks' and 'all of those bands are old', but another part of me just wants to 'go have fun and listen to some awesome music.'

Which band r u looking forward 2 seeing the most at Coachella 2k10?
Which music festival will u attend in 2k10?
Will u stop going to music festivals this decade because seeing kidz/inauthentic ppl watching the same bands u like can put a bottleneck ur ability to enjoy a band/concert/mp3?

Previous Concert/Show/Festival Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/06/u-me-and-every-concert-we-attend-how-we-grow-older-with-concerts.html

The Festival Bro

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/i-am-the-festivalbro.html

Who do u see when u go 2 music festivals?

Guess it is music festy season again.

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Lists: Californians, music festivals, rich ass ppl

Read more>>>>

Should I feel happie that the name of my blog is bigger than other popular bands on this car? Feel like I might be more important than any individual band. Want 2 be a daily part of ur life. Are BLOGS the new BANDS?

Photo via thetaste

I remember when I was a female soccer player, and my team went to the state championship tournament. For the road trip, we covered my friend's mom's van with the name of every1 on our team, and even wrote some 'random' 'inside jokes' that no1 else would 'get.' It was those 'inside jokes' which forged our deepest bonds, and eventually led our team to second place in the state.

Kinda weird how we've all grown up, but still are interested in letting the world know what we're all about. Need to write the names of my favourite bands, blogs, and the propositions which I support on my car. Not sure if 'bumper stickers' are still authentic. Just want some thing 'louder' that doesn't bring down the value of my car. Might get my last name in Old English on the back of my car [via Mexicans].

Miss the days when I used to write my favourite band names + brand names on my black Jansport backpack. Shoulda paid more attention in class. Regrets. I now carry that same backpack 2 my community college.

I just want to go to a music festival
And let the world know that I am down with almost every relevant band
and chill and 'be myself'
and let the world know that 'myself' is pretty chill/always down to DL a free mp3

Does n e 1 wanna go on a meaningful roadtrip with me? [via carchalk decorated SUV]

Went to coachella. Wrote down all the bands that I saw play, then came home and made this image in photoshop. The bands that are more 'relevant' are in big text.

Feeling sad that the festival is over. I really feel like I can 'be myself' at places that seem like an AltUtopia.

Had a lot of fun at coachelly. Met some new bros, heard some new buzzbands (The Killers, Peter Bjorn and John, The My Bleeding Valentines, etc.). Twittered a lot about how I was feeling (hot, cold, dehydrated, headaches, hungry, happy) and what just happened (heard a song I liked, tall person in front of me, band being 'late' to the stage, band 'sucking', some1 'doing something stupid', etc.).

Glad that my bros and I can all twitter and experience life 2 gether.

N e ways, watched a few 'vimeos' Aka 'the alt youtube.' Saw some videos of coachella, and I'm not sure which 1 was more representative of 'THE COACHELLA EXPERIENCE.'

Video 1: A chill ass party with bloghouse DJs, alt celebs, altbros finding themselves, and that 1 song about '1 day we're gonna live in Paris' in the background.

This video makes coachella seem like a chill ass time. Doesn't even seem like u need to go to the festival, u just need 2 be 1 of many bros who 'goes to a party' at a local upscale hotel/resort, and just stands there 'looking relevant.' There are also a lot of 'bad ass product placement shots.' Think that brands are supposed to have 'strong presences' at alternative events, and then 'get blogged about.' Hotties in bikinis. Keut Am Appy swim suits. Palm Trees. Ppl in sunglasses. Seems like this video might be what 'being young, free, and chilling in the general vicinity of a music festival' might be all about.

Video 2: Some bro with a lil peen getting tazed by Cops

This video probably represents 'rebelling' against the modern music festival. It sux how every aspect of festivals have a sponsor. I'm tired of seeing my favourite band play on AT&T Wireless Stage/Chili's Stage [ via stage sponsorships ]. Tired of pissing in port-o-potties that are sponsored. Feel sad for the bro with a lil peen. Think he just wants to chill, do some salvia/acid, and watch M.I.A. and Paul McCartney perform live. I think that people got to walk around with their peens out at Woodstock. I think that festivals are supposed to be 'a safe place for tweens' since they are the people who 'purchase a $200 ticket for their birthday'/'getting good grades on their report card' [via parental reward].

Guess there's no place in the world for old men with lil peens. But it also might be viral marketing. Just can't be too sure these days. Honestly, I really posted this post just 2 ask 'how big do u think that bro's peen is when it is 100% ERECT?'

Wonder if Woodstock was even 'that chill.'
Wish there was a way to find out what the most authentic music festival experience of all time was, then start a business where we created a 'time machine', and sold tickets to attend this music festival for $300-500.

Are yall going 2 any music fests this summer? Looking forward 2 anything?
Sad that this is my last year in high school... nervous.

COACHELLA OR BUST!!!

Photo via EatSkeet

[via my mom's mini van]

Photo via Stereogum

Do yall think that we will be able 2 come back from the grave and get the opportunity 2 play in a highly bloggable buzz band? Feel like maybe 'heaven' might be getting the opportunity to be in a 'relevant band' for 1-5 years, then getting a job as a bartender/at a burrito shop after no1 comes 2 ur concerts n e more.

Can't believe some people 'make music' for a living.
I don't know what I want 2 do for a living. Feel like I am 'good at a lot o things', but I might be spreading myself too thin. I hope I find a passion when I go away 2 school next August... 'sigh.'

Worried about dying and there being 'nothing.' Starting to 'feel mortal.' Think I am no longer a tween any more. Time 2 grow up.

Still feel like Coachella should have 'given this bro medical attention.' Don't think it was fair 2 have him bleeding on every1 just to 'look hardcore.' h8 when bands 'aren't about image' but are 'about some anti-image image.' Wonder if that girl is 'scared of his blood giving her AIDS/heppy-tyte-bro.' Wonder if she feels like she 'just saw her uncle get out of the shower.'

Just think that healthcare should be free.
sort of wish that Alice Glass / Uffie / Feist / Jewel would slit her wrists on stage and bleed on to my face. Feel like that would be a 'unique concert experience.' Would probs blog about it/post that I 'got bled on' to my facebook/twitter

Ali Koehler

Alternative Celebrity

A female fuzzy buzzy drummer who left the Vivian Girls 2 get more famous in Best Coast.

Lists: Members of Best Coast, drummers

Read more>>>>

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Lists: Californians, music festivals, rich ass ppl

Read more>>>>

Yall. Saw this picture. Does n e 1 know where they took it?

a) a meaningful music festival
b) a Paul McCartney concert
c) on the set of American History X
d) at an authentic punk show during the 80s in the greater New York Area
e) Dan Deacon documentary/biopic 'fight scene'
f) Some sort of altbro tribunal lynching
g) a violent SXSW partie
h) a 311 concert
i) on the set of The Wrestler [via Mickey Rourke]
j) from the movie IN TO THE WILD, YALL
k) some sort of 'bear' convention
l) something about the hipster grifter
m) an answer about 'memes'
n) Pitchfork Music Festival
o) at some sort of clinic where people 'donate blood' and/or 'plasma' to get money
p) at a 'Mixed Martial Arts' event that people 'think are bad ass' these days
q) Choose.Your.Own.Response

ugh.. h8 violence & graphic images.
HRO: SFW IN 2K13

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ANOTHER SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO SHOW 4-20-2009

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

U can always listen 2 my podcasts if ur poor.

Playlist After the Jump

Photo via JustJared

Yall. I was at Coachella this weekend, and I got to see some of my favourite kewl celebs who are 'into music' and know how to 'not wear makeup so that no1 recognizes them.' It must be interesting and fun to be a celebrity. U kinda just wanna chill out in public and have people look @u and recognize u and want 2 be u but u also 'want people 2 leave u alone' so that u can experience the same stuff that 'normal people' do, like music festivals and wearing ur chillest sun wardrobe.

Saw popular 'indie movie starlet' Chloe Sevigny at Coachellers. She was wearing sandals, but she had on white socks underneath. I think it's the thing where some1 who is a 'trendsetter' does something that is a 'fashion sin' and 'make it seem kinda kewl.' Not sure if this means I have to buy sandals and socks to wear underneath them. Might just be a trend for entrylevel tween females with lookbooks.

Apparently sandals are really bad for your hygiene, and usually don't even provide u with proper support. Should probably buy some 'shoes for old people' or something.

Does n e 1 know if Chloe Sevigny is still authentic? Kinda hope she does some more romantic comedies and 'goes into the mainstream' but I'm not sure if mainstream girls would 'want to look like her' or if mainstream bros would 'think she is hella hot, yo.'

sorta wish this was a blog post about Sandra Bullock in her prime. (miss u Keanu)

'don't stop this bus' -the movie SPEED

XX BONUS CLUELESS ALT MEME XX

Yall I feel Clueless
walking around coachy
barefoot
hope I don't get a disease
I think that's actually how
kids in Africa transmit a lot of diseases

Does n e 1 else miss when images of consumerism and rich white people were 'simple.'

Miss when we didn't have to 'resent white ppl' s0 hard.

Chloe Sevigny

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Chloe Sevigny is an alternative actress and model. She is famous for 'being alt hot' and giving Vincent Gallo a BJ on camera.

Lists: it girls, Models, designer

Read more>>>>

Grids made out of electric tape: Big in 2k9? Does her eyemakeup consist of the bling diamonds that people with personality disorders put on their pay-as-you-go cell phones?

Do you think Marc Jacobs designed that outfit? Or can we assume that it's a preview of M.I.A.'s upcoming fashion line that will be released exclusively at Hot Topic?

M.I.A.: Fashion Forward?

[Picture by Shadowscene]

M.I.A.

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Lists: rappers, indie songstresses, annoying ppl, 2k10 buzzbands

Read more>>>>

1. How many meaningful tugjobs were administered in this trailer by Postal Service fans?
a) 0
b) less than 5
c) between 5 and 10
d) more than 10
e) more than 500

2. How many tugjobs were administered to Philadelphia-based DJs inside of this trailer?
a) 0
b) less than 5
c) between 5 and 10
d) more than 10
e) more than 500

3. What are the odds that HIPSTER RUNOFF will make a beastiality joke about this picture?
a) Very Unlikely
b) Unlikely
c) not sure
d) Likely
e) Very Unlikely
f) P0ST M0RE BEASTIALITY

4. M.I.A.
A) HOT
B) NOT

5) If I got a carving in my hair, it would say:
a) HYPE
b) P.Y.T.
c) BNGR
d) [HIGHLY RECCD]
e) Blog
f) He Hate Me

6. If I saw Johnny Depp at a music festival, I would tell him,
a) "Dude. I cried at the end of Blow."
b) Make a joke about WAYNESTOCK.
c) Ask him if he ever railed Liv Tyler or Alicia Silverstone
d) Give him a lil tug
e) ask if you could purchase some of his treasure-based accessories from him

7. If I ran into this group of spectators at Coachella, I would
a) ask them for directions to a Dippin Dots stand
b) ask them if they knew were I could get some LSD
c) get out my alternative celebrity autograph book
d) ask how much it would cost to be involved in the orgy they are having later that night.

8. If these girls were your daughters, you would
a) be proud of them for discovering their alternative personalities
b) ask them to do a better job with their monthly fashion budget.
c) Encourage them to join a sorority
d) send their picture to HIPSTERRUNOFF because you think they might be the female equivalent of alternative bros
e) try convincing them that you are in the Ed Banger crew, and tell them you have an album coming out in late 2008

[More Coachella Coverage at Mark Hunter Photography]

People who take the time and effort to make sure that they are standing at the very front of a concert, particularly in the festival setting, have the average education of a _th grader.

I love being close to my favourite alternative celebrities, and getting to interact with them in person. It's like they step out of the screen of my MacBook, and on to the stage to perform my favourite songs for me and my closest friends.

R U SMARTER THAN A _TH GRADER?

[Photo by The Cobrasnake]

[Photos by Dave Bullock/Wired]

Kid Sister looked pretty cute at Coachella. Way better than how she looked in Milwaukee. Do u think she recently got a gift card to Claire's to buy some accessories?

Is Coachella a crowd worth dressing up for? Do u think she only dresses up when there are more than 10,000 party photographers in attendance?