ALL | ALT REPORT | CLASSIC
Coldplay
The Karl Lagerfalt
Photo via Discofunbath


Yall. I pretend 2 'follow fashion' and 'know a lot about fashion design' sometimes, and I have heard of some bro named KARL LAGERFELD. I don't really 'know what he does' but I think he is 'relevant.' He seems to maintain some sort of brand that is similar to 'the bad guy in a movie' or something like that. I am not sure how long he has 'been around' or 'what he has done for fashion.'

Think he might be somewhere inbetween 'an old Mark Jacobs' / 'the ghey, lovable guy from Project Runway.'

Sometimes I feel like an uncultured suburban kid. Not even sure if I will wear any of his designs unless he does some Am Appy work. Sort of hope I get him as a teacher next year when I start at Parsons.

does n e 1 know this bro?
Does n e 1 know if alternative people are going to start dressing him, kinda like the M.I.Alt or the Viva La VidAlt or even the Ryan Adams Look Alike Bag??

'I used 2 rule the world.'
-the Coldplays

Photo via the Minneapoline

ugh. h8 fashion.
who am I supposed 2 b?
'sometimes feelin like life is just a circus, yall!' -brit spearsie

Did yall watch the Grammys?

Yall.. I didn't watch the Grammys cuz I'd rather just read reactions to it on the internet, then pretend that I watched it/was there/I am connected to the modern world. Seemed like a real celebration of things that are kinda mainstream but letting more alt artists in2 the show. Some of my favourite bands like MIA, Radiohead, and the Jonas Bros were on display. Maybe next year I'll be invited?

Question 1) When an alt artist wins a grammy, I feel

a) validated
b) like I accomplished something
c) a lil bit sad that I am losing a part of me
d) pissed off about my fave band selling out
e) just wanna 'get buzzed' and dance to bloghaus + ironic pop

Question 2) M.I.A. is

a) just a meme
b) pregant
c) should have stayed home
d) trying too hard 2 reach out 2 mainstream audiences
e) just taking care of herself/her career

Question 3: Deadmau5 will be remembered as

a) a zany masked DJ
b) just some weirdo at the Grammys
c) "what is that bro doing at our show?" -Taylor Swift
d) being responsible for bringing 'masked djs' to the mainstream
e) just a meme on the day after award shows


Question 4: This is a picture of


a) the coldplays
b) a band that steals songs
c) the writers of the rock album + song of the year
d) bros who need to retire their gimmick
e) Cool dads searching for meaning


Question 5: These bros are chilling at


a) the Grammys
b) A Cool Dad convention
c) A Kidz Health convention
d) A McDonalds playgrond
e) A liberal arts professor conference


Question 6: When I see this single, I think it is


a) Just another bloghouse mp3
b) just another crappy mp3 posted by a lame entrylevel blog on the hypemachine looking to get hits
c) worth a Grammy
d) the best Remix of all time
e) other

Question 7: Kanye West won a grammy for

a) Best frollet
b) Best blogger of the year
c) Worst black person of the year in America
d) JackOfAllTrades/Renaissance Man of the year
e) Best guy who sounds like a robot on his albums

Question 8: Who wore it better?


a) the broad on the left
b) the broad on the right
(this is a test 2 see if ur a racist)

Question 9: The Lonely Island Bros are


a) going to win a Grammy in 2k10
b) a gimmick for bros
c) comedy for bros
d) glorified bro Weird Al bullshit
e) really funnie
f) really progressive
g) going to make the Flight of the Conchords obsolete for bros
h) something for people who smoke weed and watch dvds/ funnie youtube vids

Question 10: This bro won a Grammy for

a) best assault of a broad
b) best knuckle sandwich 2 a broad's face
c) Best job of 'putting a woman in her place'
d) Most likely 2 be the next OJ Simpson
e) Future Ike TurnerBro
f) Strongest Pimp Hand
g) Artist of the Millennium who Hits Women
h) Bro Who is above the law
i) bro who is above society's norms


Question 11: Daft Punk won some Grammy because


a) they deserve it for this live album thingy
b) there are too many Awards categories
c) people only heard of them after Kanye West cobranded with them for that meaningful duet about becoming stronger on the inside

Question 12: Christian Bale won a grammy for


a) being Heath Ledger's BFF
b) being in Batman
c) becoming a viral meme on audio
d) pretending 'to get angry' as a marketing gimmick for the new Terminator film so that Entertainment Magazines will profile him as being 'complex' and 'deep' and 'really into his craft'
e) he sang a lot in Newsies

Question 13: The name of this band is


a) 3 Tweens and a Blind Black Man
b) Blind, Black, and Musical: The Band
c) Searching for Our Sexuality thru the blindness
d) Bro Circle Jerk in a room with a blindman
e) Guy Who Should be able to see + need Talent Managers who protect their brands a lil bit better
f) The Grammys: Where Legends go to Make Bad Decisions
g) Steve WonderBro
h) Tweens Who Might be GheyBros

Question 14: This band in this picture is


a) the Spice Girls
b) Paramore
c) Blink 182
d) Girls Aloud
e) The Pussy Cat Dolls
f) Aqua
g) Jen Aniston and the Skanky McSkankBroads
h) Chris Brown's "Pimp Hand"

Can't believe I missed the Grammys. Feel really 'out of the loop.' Just want to connect 2 'pop culture' since it is kind of the fabric of society that relates us all.

Kinda feel like this picture represents the state of modern music.
In this picture is everything that we want.
We want bloggable content with stars who attract viewers by saying zany things and being progressive enough to blurb about.

Did yall hear M.I.A. is pregnant?
Are yall excited about how twitter gives u such direct and instant access 2 ur fave celebs while they are at a meaningful event like the Grammys?

[via diplo's drunken memes during the Grammys blogspottwitter]

Which Conceptual Music Video Do Yall Like The Most?

I was watching a couple of music videos that were 'kinda conceptual.' I wasn't sure which 1 I was supposed 2 like the most. Music videos really 'get my mind jogging', thinking about the identity of an artist, the purpose of a music video as a marketing tool/brand enhancer, and what I expect from a meaningful/conceptual music video.

/// Just want 2
/// look at shit
/// that looks 'cool'
/// on the internet
/// then re-blog it
/// making my own blog
/// look 'cooler'
/// we are branding 2gthr

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Animal Collective - My Girls

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It's always interesting when a widely respected band makes a 'mediocre conceptual video' that is excessively 'praised'/'meme-ed' as an extension of the band. Kinda boring video, never really 'goes anywhere', and just makes you think about how 'uninteresting' AnCo are as humans. Sure they 'make good/relevant music', but videos like this make u wish they 'had more to offer' as humans/ambassadors of some 'message.' But I guess that's why it is easy to 'like' them since they are 'just music-making bros' and not Bono/Chris Martin/Ricky Martin/Brandon Flowers/Susan Sarandon/ Ben Gibbard / Kanye West, etc.

Overall just kinda tired of reading reviews/hearing dbags say that Animal Collective's music is 'textural', and this video kind of just reminds me of how much i h8 pre-modern music criticism / when people try to describe the non-aural elements of sound (if they exist). But ya. the video is s0000 textural, just like their music.

N e ways, do yall like AnCo showcasing their meaningful technological instruments in this vid?

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Friendly Fires - Skeleton Boy

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I liked this vid/song more than I liked the "My Girls" experience. It makes me feel more 'alive', and 'looks cooler' than the AnCo video. Sometimes, u just have 2 admit that some things are 'cooler' than other things, and 'coolness' is the most important thing sometimes. The song kind of makes me want to 'buy a car' after being inspired by an upbeat/meaningful/dancey song in a commercial.

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The Coldplays - Some song about Puppets

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Coldplay has a pretty interesting existence as a 'globally recognized band' because they don't really have a vision of 'what they want to be as a band'--instead, they just kind of re-use already accepted concepts/ideas that were already executed by highly regarded bands and artists. I wonder what 'the mainstream world' is looking for when they decide to 'honor' the Coldplays as a relevant/listenable band.
Can't believe they are sticking to the 'colonial war' uniform gimmick [via puppets].

"I used 2 rule the world." - George W. Bush + The Coldplays duet

//////////
BUT SRSLY
Which conceptual music video do yall 'like' the most?
Or is 'the music video' a dead art form?
In the future, will all music vids look like iPod commercials/capture the same positive consumer-core zeitgeist?

Meaningful Arts & Crafts Session of the Day

Yall need 2 realize that there's more 2 life than the internet. U can't only exist on the net. U have 2 spend more time improving your real life brand. It's life, yall--u only get 1 chance to truly show the world 'what ur all about.'

Just wanted 2 share a meaningful art & craft with u. I know every1 is pumped about Barres Obama getting into the 'Black House', so thought I might share this tribute art & craft challenge.

What u need:

  • Crayola Markers
  • Military Costume from the 1700s.
  • Swaddling Cloth or miscellaneous wrapping cloth
  • Leader with a catchy name who represents hope

Step 1: Put on ur jacket. Write a song abt how 'u used 2 rule the world.'
Step 2: Wrap a lil cloth around your arm, making a meaningful arm band
Step 3: Figure out a creative way 2 symbolize/create a tribute 2 some1 who represents something that you want 2 'let the world know that u appreciate.'
Step 4: Talk 2 people abt ur art & craft. How u made it. Why u made it. All that kinda stuff.

This is your what your final product should look at.

Does n e 1 know what this stands 4?

Should I make 1 for my blog website?

Email me if yall have n e good recipes, arts & crafts ideas, or other authentic d.i.y. procedures. Think I'm gonna stop blogging about alt crap and start blggng about meaningful crafts, etc.

Or should I just buy Hot Topic / emo /mainstream bro wristbands?

Or stick with LIVINGSTRONG?

Or just fake an injury to get attention and have people who would never ordinarily talk 2 me 'sign my cast'?

Miss u Gwenny

“I used 2 rule the world.” -the Coldplays


Yall. There's so many VivaLaVidaAlts these days. I feel like we're about 2 go 2 war.
Kinda scared now that Obama is in office. It's like a zany awards show that gives out fake awards--N E THING CAN HAPPEN. Just want the world 2 know that my fashion choices are representative of my appreciation for the founding fathers of my country during our colonial/regal era.

[Photos by GaranceDore]

"I used to rule the world." -Coldplay
"It was all yellow." - Coldplay
"The Scientist, yall." - Coldplay

Rlly eggcited abt the grammies, yall. Hope Coldplay wins. I think that would mean that 'alt' has officially overtaken the mainstream.

In honor of Coldplay, I will post the top albums in 2k8 that were purchased on the internet music shoppe called 'iTunes.'

2008'S ITUNES TOP ALBUMS

1. Coldplay, Viva La Vida (for people who have read music mags for the past 10 years/ppl who are searching for meaning [via the radio])
2. Jack Johnson, Sleep Through The Static (for meaningful festival mainstreamers)
3. Juno soundtrack (for ppl who are preggers/quirky like Michael Sera)
4. Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III (for poor people and educated ppl who value the cultural relevance of mainstream art 4 'coloured culture')
5. Sara Bareilles, Little Voice (@ single women who r 'not gonna write u a love song' /// the feist of 2k8 without alt-credibility)
6. Once soundtrack (nvr heard of it)
7. Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things (for ppl who are holding on 2 the past)
8. OneRepublic, Dreaming Out Loud (sounds like a band that ppl who wear leather strap wrist bands and metaphorical graphic tees would listen 2)
9. Across The Universe soundtrack (Is this the Justice documentary of the krappie Beatles movie?)
10. Leona Lewis, Spirit (She's apparently big in the UK)
11. Metallica, Death Magnetic (Glad they shut down Napster to get to #11)
12. Radiohead, In Rainbows (Shouldn't have given away their album 4 free. Then they would be at #30)
13. Taylor Swift, Fearless (Is this the girl who the Jonas brothers gangbang?)
14. Mamma Mia! soundtrack (for lonely people)
15. T.I., Paper Trail (Rap fans don't know how to use computers yet. They still listen to the radio. they only read blogs to see pix of street wear. This should prob be #2 behind Lil Wayne)
16. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black (I have still never heard more than 10 seconds of that "Rehab" song and don't believe she is talented. Just want 2 see pictures of her dead body within 2 years. Will blog about them)
17. Vampire Weekend (ppl who buy songs off iTunes read music blogs/periodicals, but don't download illegal mp3s to avoid lawsuits)
18. Taylor Swift (is this the girl who tugs out sugar-free cum from the Jonas Bro?)
19. Death Cab For Cutie, Narrow Stairs (I think meaningful-core is losing marketshare.)
20. Camp Rock soundtrack (Is this the movie about the Jonas Brothers buying a van and starting a website called bangbus.com?)
21. Madonna, Hard Candy (How many songs besides that one song came from this CD?)
22. Colbie Caillat, Coco (nvr heard of her, but I would assume she sounds like Michelle Branch/Vanessa Carlton/Sheryl Crow/Jewel/some other mnstrm skank who can 'play an instrument')
23. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded (She loves to Autotune)
24. Alvin And The Chipmunks soundtrack (David Cross made this movie alt?)
25. Duffy, Rockferry (Why do we take artists who British people like seriously? Same goes for 'The Office.')
26. Jonas Brothers, A Little Bit Longer (Is this the song about having a shorter lifespan cuz u have diabetes?)
27. Carrie Underwood, Carnival Ride (Is she dating that Cowboys Quarterback guy?)
28. Paramore, Riot! (This would have sold more, but the iTunes search engine can't handle punctuation)
29. Disturbed, Indestructible (Is this a Korn sideproject?)
30. Sex And The City soundtrack (Soundtracks are for people who are not connected to 'what's going on in the world')
31. Katy Perry, One Of The Boys (Katy Perry: Proof that an effective marketing firm will ensure that you 'make it')
32. Alicia Keys, As I Am (Is she getting more or less mainstream authentic?)
33. Adele, 19 (h8 brits)
34. High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Gonna miss yall. P0st M0re n00dz)
35. Daughtry (When an album is self-titled and by a male artist, I expect the album art to be a picture of the singer's cock)
36. MGMT, Oracular Spectacular (heard they lost tons of sales to altbros [via hypemachine])
37. Lupe Fiasco, The Cool (miss u Matthew Santos in 2k9//via superstar)
38. Eddie Vedder, Into The Wild (The Pearl Jams woulda made him #1)
39. M.I.A., Kala (all of these sales were in the final quarter of 2008)
40. Mariah Carey, E=MC2 (can't believe those sweet juggs married the host of WILD N OUT)
41. John Mayer, Where The Light Is (heard he is making a duets album with the cast of Friends)
42. Jonas Brothers (waiting 4 them 2 come out in 2k40)
43. Counting Crows, Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings (remember the Gen X album 'Mr. Jones'?)
44. 3 Doors Down (This band is America.)
45. Bob Marley, Legend (I love new Marley albums. Hope he keeps writing new stuff.)
46. Led Zeppelin, Mothership (h8 old music)
47. Weezer (did they combine sales of the Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow albums?)
48. Miley Cyrus, Breakout (most of her sales were at the Disney eMusic store)
49. August Rush soundtrack (nvr heard of this movie)
50. P.S. I Love You soundtrack (nvr heard of this movie)

Do yall use iTunes?
Should I buy more music from iTunes since they give like 80% of profits to the artists?
Should I do blow off my iPhone?

Which band has the most authentic Music Video Aesthetic?

In a world where we don't watch music videos on TV any more, we are presented with the question, "what makes a music video worth watching on a lil screen?" Overall, I'm just looking for authenticity kinda like every other aspect of my life. I don't like it when videos are 'too viral' because that means they will go mainstream.
Videos must be a little bit of everything:

  • conceptual
  • earnest
  • meaningful
  • arty
  • artsy
  • artistic
  • have a direct relation to my alternative lifestyle
  • retro
  • modern
  • postmodern
  • campy
  • serious
  • not designed to 'go viral.

Which artist has the most authentic music video aesthetic?

Is it M83 with their 80s video camera music videos?

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M83 - "Graveyard Girl"

Or maybe it's Thieves Like Us with their earnest music videos that remind us what it of what it meant to be young & authentically care about things/relationships.

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Thieves Like Us - Desire

It's DEFINITELY NOT Ratatat with their College Video Art Project Aesthetic. (If I wuz their professor, I would give them a pity "B-.")

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Ratatat - "Schempi"

Coldplay's "Viva La Vida" utilizes a Photoshop Smoke Effect. Do yall know how to use photoshop to make ur youtube videos look like children's boox?

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Coldtug - "Viva La Vida, Yall"

I feel like at this point, it might be Frankmusik. In this video he utilizes the post-pop Tom Hanks in the movie BIG dancing on neon piano keys aesthetic.

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Frankmusik - "Three Little Words"

Should I Blog more about Thomas Hanks / dancing on supersized piano keys?

Which post-bloghaus/indierock/meaningfulcore band has the most authentic video aesthetic?
What do yall look for in quality videos?
Should pitchfork.tv merge with youtube or vimeo?
Should vimeo merge with youtube or xtube or porn0t00b?
What makes a music video meaningful 2 u?

Which bands looks kuter in Miscellaneous Revolutionary War uniforms?

Maybe this is something that all meaningful-core bands have to do, but have yall noticed how these bands are wearing colonial era war outfits?

Sigur Ros

Coldplay

I wonder what they are fighting for/against?
I wonder what Coldplay's colours mean?
Do any other bands dress like they are going to war against something meaningful?

I wonder if Tom Morello is still fighting in a war against 'stuff that is wrong with the world, like capitalism, Republicans, George Bush Jr, and other stuff where poor people don't get to listen to faggy electro, rap-rock, or mainstream alt-rock every day.'

Does n e 1 know what Che Guevara fought for? I have a poster of him chillin in my room. He smokes dank, right?

I can understand when bands wear one colour, or have a certain fashion gimmick, but SRSLY, what r they fighting for?
Why don't I 'get' things that are intended to be meaningful & present commentary on the way the world is so crazy, kind of like a war, and stuff like that.

EDITOR'S NOTE:

SRRY ABT THE LACK OF UPDATES. I WAS MOVING INTO MY DORM ROOM AT PARSONS THIS WEEKEND. S0 EMOTIONAL SAYING GOODBYE TO MY PARENTS. LOVE ALL YALL. THANKS FOR ALL OF THE COLLEGE TIPS.

Meaningful-Core Bands

What is Meaningful Rock?

I feel like we're at a time where 'popular indie bands' achieve more critical acclaim than 'popular mainstream bands.' Although the popular bands outsell the 'indie' bands, they both have exposure and acclaim from similar sources. Is there any difference between these high-selling white acts with male lead singers?

Popular & 'respected' mainstream bands:

1. U2
2. Coldplay
3. Radiohead
4. Dave Matthews Band
(...a few others)

Popular & 'respected' indie bands

1. Death Cab for Cutie
2. Arcade Fire
3. The Shins
(...a few others)

Whenever one of these indie bands releases an album, people are like 'omg! I can't believe it's #1 on iTunes! WTF? They r indie! I used to listen 2 them, but not any more.' When it comes to music that white people listen to, I think popular mainstream and indie bands are fighting against all of that Soulja Boy type of stuff, so it's probably time for them to unite into one genre.

MEANINGFUL-CORE MUSIC: Presented by HIPSTER RUNOFF


MEANINGFUL-CORE music can be described as

1. music that makes a general mainstream consumer think that his/her life is more meaningful
2. music that an alt or mainstream person can talk about in a conversation and make them seem 'with the times', 'interesting', and 'on a quest for self-awareness.'
3. music that is structured to seem directly meaningful, cryptically meaningful, or if the singer just looks/sounds earnest and meaningful in some form
4. music that is made by a predominantly male band, with a male lead singer (the voice of a male offers more meaning than a female can offer)
5. music that is created by a band who 'meant it' on their first album, then experimented, then 'got mainstream', then 'meant it' in a cool-dad kind of way later in their career. (no matter what, they always sold out large venues)
6. music that music critics respect, and you can put on a mix CD for a person of the opposite sex to make them think that you 'understand love, life, and everything else that could make a relationship work.'

I think meaningful-core can help explain how the popular mainstream bands and popular indie bands have merged into this one classification. Zach Braff was an innovator by lumping meaningful-core hits into the Garden State soundtrack. At that time, consumers began to think that the music within their iPod should 'give them a more meaningful soundtrack for their lives'.' Each song can make an event like looking out a car window seem really amazing.


DCFC: they look like they really 'mean it.'

Meaningful-core bands can take your existence to the next level. They will help you relate to more people who are searching for meaning in their lives'. Meaningful-core will help you connect with impending sexual partners in a meaningful-kind-of-way. Their albums are important snap shots of the global economy of feelings.

Other bands or artists can have a 'meaningful core hit', but it doesn't always mean that their other stuff will be interpreted as 'meaningful on a mass scale.' For example, that Iron and Wine dude covered 'Such Great Heights', but I think only girls liked that song and that guy. A band like Death Cab can gimmick mainstream bros and entry-level altbros in with lyrics like, 'so this is the New Year... and I don't feel any different. :-( '

Meaningful-Core bands are able to transcend our society as a whole. They transcend media outlets, and they re-think 'antiquated methods of album distribution.' They have a sea of fans who are into being their fans. They have street teams.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI8I6qcxWyU&hl=en]
Americans first learned that Coldplay was [Highly meaningful] when the music video for 'Yellow' showcased a rising sun throughout the duration of the video.


Subgenres of meaningful core:

Cryptically meaningful bands in an artsy-ish way
(These bands may or may not achieve success in sales, but garner a lot of critical acclaim for being really meaningful)

1. Sigur Ros
2. The Microphones
3. Animal Collective/Panda Bear
4. The Avalanches
5. Boards of Canada
6. The Books
(These bands appeal to people who want meaning through conceptual stuff that is less approachable to mainstreamers.)

Earnest Electro meaningful

(After people 'fell in love with the Postal Service' they were searching for some replacements of earnest electronic music.)

1. The Notwist
2. The Go Find
3. Air
4. Frou Frou
5. Lali Puna
6. only the song "Digital Love" by Daft Punk
7. Only the song "some one great" by LCD soundsystem

"leave me paralyzed, love" - the Notwist

Mainstream rock bands that add 'meaning' to mainstreamers who think they are really unique in a 'I still wear a ying yang necklace' kind of way

1. Incubus
2. Linkin Park
3. Creed (R.I.P.)
4. Tool

******
The Shins sing that 1 song about Caring being Creepy, right? Soo true (and so random)

******

So in conclusion, people are looking for meaning in their lives'. They want to know why they are here, and why their perspective is more special than yours or mine. Music offers a wide range of products that can help users believe that they are more unique, more authentic, more alterntive, more mainstream, and more intrinsically meaningful. While we all have different interpretations of 'what it means to mean something meaningful', we can all find an artist that helps us to feel like we truly connect with what it is that connects those of us who 'understand the human condition.'

Meaningful-core songs are in 25% of iPod commercials. (25% is dedicated to upcoming female stars, and 50% is dedicated to 'dancey fun stuff that alternative people listen to.)

Filling this iPod with meaningful-core music could make your head start secreting the gel-form of meaningfulness.

Plz elaborate on or refine any theories proposed in this bl0g p0st.
<3 yall r smart. Yall should be consultants 4 EMI/Geffen/SubPop/XL <3
<3 When Soul Meets Body <3

Monitoring Gimmicks of Rlly Popular Mainstreamer Bands


DOES N E 1 KNOW WHAT COLDPLAY'S NEW GIMMICK IS? Why are the dressing like colourful FGGTs who are in an army of cool-homo-FGGT-dads?

What's the deal with their song 'Viva La Vida'? I feel like it's a song that people would cream their pants over if the Arcade Fire sang it, but instead, people will say 'it doesn't sound enuff like CLOCKS, which I played on the piano at my high school talent show.'

Who IS the next U2?

The Hype Machine: Where Coldplay Getting [HIGHLY BLGGD ABOUT] happens

Hype Machine's 3 Most Popular songs:


I think the most important part about Radiohead giving away their "In Rainbows" for free is that they avoid being every other major band that will look bad when they only give away one track for free.

That being said, I can't believe Coldplay only gave away 1 single for free. They only care about making money. I wish they'd get back to their roots, and write songs more like "Yellow," or maybe experiment with bangers.

What's ur fave Coldplay video? The one where the sun comes up? Or the one where Chris Martin's GF flies through a windshield in reverse slow motion?

What do the following popular artists have in common?

a) They are all having remix contests
b) They all have recently released albums
c) Their record companies deposited an undisclosed sum in the creator of HypeMachine's off shore bank account.

HIPSTER RUNOFF: The World's Only Source for Hype Machine Analysis

Yoko Ono Is Less Popular Than 16 Year Old Kids in California

Yoko Ono only has 2358 friends on myspace. She also has George Harrison, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr in her Top friends.
When she 'broke up the Beatles', do you think any one could have predicted this kind of myspace drama? I think it's in poor taste.


Also in her Top Friends are Gandhi, The Dalai Lama, Michael Moore, Thurston Moore, Amy Winehouse, Bjork, and her son, Sean Lennon.

Go and check out her profile full of way too many videos. She's only been a member since 9/12/2007, so I'm sure some one must have told her that myspace would help her IMAGINE PEACE campaign.

http://www.myspace.com/officialyokoono

After blogging about the Beatles and Radiohead, it's nice to know that I have no Beatles or Radiohead songs on my computer. I do have Coldplay on my computer, though.


Coldplay! Yall are AMAZING! Chris Martin honestly dances around like a FREE spirit. It reminds me of my Zumba classes, except my instructor is this mean skinny lady and one time i strained my ankle and fell over, dislocating it, and she went on with the session, and every1 stomped all over me like I was just another yoga matt.

I honestly love the new Coldplay album. They are truly at their zenith peaks. Their song 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' is honestly very true. Every time I cry, I just can't stop, and it is super duper sad. But then at the same time, my tears are not a waterfall compared to my heavy periods AND when I go #2 after going to Arby's. Honestly, I don't understand how something that tastes so good can go out so watery and acidy on the way out, but perhaps I have another worm embedded in my tummy.

Ugh. Gwenny Paltrow is a LUCKY WOMAN bc she gets to canoodle with Chris Martin, the #1 hottie rockstar in the world (except for Mark Foster).

Real men wear pink, bb!

I'm gonna get a Mylo Xyloto tattoo on my body when it stops expanding!

<3 u Chris Marty!

Keane who? #TeamColdy

11 Comments!!! <3




Honestly, Coldplay is one of my FAVORITE bands ever since their early songs, like "Clocks." THeir lyrics are tru and meaningful, and they take me away to a place where i can BELIEVE. In myself. In a better life. In a better 2mrrw.

Chris Martin is a HOTTIE MCHOTTIE, and I would LOVE 2 be Gwen Paltrow, live a day in her shoes. Not just bc she has the PERFECT bikini body... but most importantly, 2 feel the love of a man who truly is a creative spirit who loves me for me. Sometimes I feel like Gwenyth in the movie "Shallow Hal", because I am a large woman, except every1 sees me for me, not like Jack Black saw her as a skinnie BB...

Chris is CREATIVE and he DOODLED all over his guitar. I love love LOVE doodling. I used to have this notebook where I would daydream about boys, and write their names over and over again. I actually went to jail for a short time, because I wrote erotic fiction in it, too, and in my home state, writing erotic fiction is actually a stalking felony.

I really want to start a creative project. I LOVED art classes, and I want to get back into free-form scrapbooking.

Chris is a HOTTIE. Bono who? #TeamChrisMarty

11 Comments!!! <3



omg my ears are srsly crying tears of joy bc this new Coldplay song "Moving To Mars" is effing beautaful!

Coldplay is BACK and they are for sure BETTER than U2. This song actually kindda does make me want 2 move 2 Mars bc there is less gravity and I will probably weigh less there.. On the other hand, there probably aren't many places 2 buy yummy snacks 4 my tumtum. It growls when it gets hungwy, but that sound is NOT as beautiful as a Coldplay song!

Love the new costumes bbs! I need 2 go shopping soon 4 my summer look!

LOVE this song "Major Minus" too!

They are SO back and Chris Martin is a hottie hunk who can do no wrong!

Bono who? #TeamChrisMartin

9 Comments!!! <3



Coldplay is BACK and YES they are BETTER than ever. Chris Martins is a SEXI hunk and Gwen Paltrow is LUCKY to have a hottie rock star to shoot GOOP in2 her vagine! #TeamApple

This new song "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" is honestly perfect. I never thought they could top the song abt how the stars shine 4 me because I am yellow, but they have DONE IT AGAIN. I love rock music with sensible pianos <3

I remember when my exBF broke up with me, the song "Fix You" was on the radio, and I wish he had fixed me or at least offered. I understand I have deep psychalagical issues, but at the same time, I am only human. Instead, I began to eat my feelings, and eventually gained a lot of weight. I am DEFINATELY putting this new song on my workout iPod mix :-)

Coldplay writes beautiful songs and they make me not feel so alone. But at the same time, when u haven't been with a man in so many years and u can't even bring urself to look in the mirror, it's easy to feel hopeless and alone.

U2 who? #TeamColdplay

Bono is srsly NOTHING compared to Chris Martin.

The Edge who? #TeamJohnnyBuckland!

13 Comments!!! <3



Coldplay super fan ‘pimps out’ his Nissan Sentra 2 prove he loves Coldplay


Coldplay is 'one of the biggest bands in the entire world' because they make approachable positive rock n roll + piano songs that all sound the same. They have a thriving fan base of 'confused tweens who are searching for alt', along with a strong group of middle aged people who want to 'feel cool' by liking what they perceive is a 'buzzband that they've been there 4 since the beginning.

It seems like some bro 'pimped out' his car, getting a 'bad ass' Coldplay decal, a custom License Plate Frame that says "I Love Chris Martin", and went ahead and sealed the deal with a customized license plate that says "CRS MRTN", an abbreviated version of the lead singer's full name. Seems like a chill bro who just wants to be inspired by 'rock bands.'

R u surprised this bro lives in California? Do u think he is a UK transplant?
R u worried about this bro?
Do u think whoever owns this car 'masturbates frequently' to Chris Martin?

Has a Coldplay song ever inspired u 2 be a better person/fall in <3?
Is Coldplay the ultimate 'white person' rock band of all time?
Will the Arcade Fire 'leapfrog' Coldplay in the 2k10s, building a new 'honky' aesthetic?
Can u guarantee that the person who owns this car is a 'huge tool'?

Should I buy a Nissan Sentra? Is it sort of like the 'alt' version of a Prius?

Do u hope ur mom gives u her used Nissan Altima when u turn 16?

R u gonna pimp out ur car to show allegiance to an indie buzzband?
a) Neon Indian decal + "ACID W U" plates
b) AnCo decal + "ANCO" plates
c) XX decal + "ROMY OLI" plates
d) Grizzly Bear Decal + "EDro" plates
e) Panda Bear decal + Pissing on Avey decal + "NOAH LNNX" plates
f) Best Coast virgin mary decal + garfield antenna ball + Bob Marley bumper sticker + 'legalize dank' sticker + "POCAHAUNTED" plates

What combo would u go with?

MNSTRM megaband Coldplay ‘appears’ on The Simpsons


From what I understand, you are officially a 'culturally transcendental' band when you appear on the Simpsons, since that show has been on TV for 20+ years, building a global brand that spans generations. Wonder if indie artist agents should start trying to book their clients on 'The Simpsons' instead of Jimmy Fallon/Carson Daly/other Late-Late Night television. Maybe indie bands should start trying to be on 'Fammy Guy' or 'South Park Town', but not sure if 'real people' have time 2 watch cartoons.

Watch lead singer bro 'Chris Martin' being 'Chris Martin' while he 'drops lines' in the soundbooth.

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Do u know n e 1 who still 'watches the Simpsons'?
Do u know n e 1 who 'still thinks Coldplay is an underground band'?