HIPSTER RUNOFF

Lately I have been attending numerous live concerts after 'going on a break' from 'going to shows' since the audiences got too tweeny. I have been going through a very concertially existential crisis, and really thinking about 'why am I here?' 'Why did I make the extra effort to see this band?' 'Am I trying to connect with a group of like-minded people?' 'Do I really 'get something' out of seeing a band's music performed live?' 'Should I just listen to things on headphones while staring at a computer screen?' 'Do I not like going to concerts because of people who have a personal brand that says I<3music, but don't really 'get' what it means to be alive in the modern world?'

As I have grown older, I have started to see 'the larger picture' about 'the concertgoing experience.' The truth is that concerts are 'always the same' but the only thing changing about the concert is U. You are growing older, moving from demographic-to-demographic. The way you feel about 'life' is constantly changing, and based upon the version of 'loneliness'/'fulfillment' that you feel, you will interpret any experience differently--concerts are an essential part of the modern human experience.

These are the general age demographics who 'attend concerts' and a synopsis of 'their general conscious experience.'

Ages 12-17: The era of idealizing 'the modern indie concert experience.'

You don't really understand what 'indie rock'/etc. usually is, and experiences like Warped Tour, Coachella, and Regional music festivals are 'lumped into a category.' You see music as something that brings people with similar interests together. You are going to graduate from high school soon, and after that, who knows what might happen? Maybe u'll be able to go to famous clubs, see famous bands, meet internet-famous people, and live the idealized life that is somewhere between 'Almost Famous' and 'Gossip Girl' or some other tv show/movie.

This is just an era of 'being naive' and 'not knowing the correct websites to view' in order to stay relevant.

As yall know, I am turning 18 soon, graduating from high school, and going away to design school in The City next Fall. For my gift/graduation gift, I get a big gift. I'm not sure what exactly to get. Please help me as I list all of my options, and perhaps yall can give insight.

SHOULD I GET A LAPPY OR A SCOOTER?

Should I get a Macbook Pro?

I am going to be in a rigorous design program, and this would be helpful so I don't have to take my Dell Desktop, and I won't have to use computers in the Mac lab all night. I could work in public spaces, and probably be more productive/creative. I am not sure if I will have enough money to afford all of the programs I need, though. I will need to check on student discounts. It would also be cool

Should I get a Vespa/scooter?

As yall know, scooters are 1 of the kewlest ways to get around town. I am not sure if public transportation has been safe since the London bombings, so my parents are very nervous and pushing for this, but made me promise to always wear a helmet. I am not sure what parts of town I will need 2 travel 2, but I think it might come in handy, especially if I get a boyfriend. I think it would be kewl to have a scooter, but I don't want to seem arrogant. Riding the subway might make me seem 'more humble' and get more friends.

Yall. I can only get one. Unfortunately my parents are in massive amounts of debt, so I already feel bad enough that they are paying for my college. For the first time in my life, I have to make a good investment. I'm worried about buying something dumb that I won't use. Help me yall. Worried.

Which 1 should I get for my BD+graduation gift?

Sometimes I wonder what 'the next big technologie' is and what sort of idea will change the way that we all consume a certain product/live my life. Sort of wish I could invent something that would make the world a better place by inspiring pure joy out of humans, and also 'make me hella rich' and possibly socially relevant to every1. Sorta like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin or Jason Twitter.

I feel like if I could have invented anything in the past 1000 years, I would have invented the popular vending machines called 'redboxes.'

Even though they sound like a vending machine that somehow 'gives u a blowjy', they are actually a DVD rental system, specifically aimed at poor people who shop at Wal Mart or eat at McDonalds regularly, and particularly at a special group of poors who shop at WalMarts and eat at a McDonalds within a WalMart.

Basically, u get to rent a movie for $1 from a redbox. Instead of dealing with Netflix's high subscription cost, or going into an overpriced store like the Blockbuster, u get to easily rent a movie for just $1. It seems almost 'too good to be true.' Sorta wish they also sold popcorn and Milk Duds in the same machine.

I feel like we're always so busy reading about bold new technological innovations that we forget that we are the socially elite members of society, and believe it or not, we are a minority. Real people can't find entertainment in things like twitter because their lives' are boring and they haven't reached a respectable level of self-awareness. They just see life as a trivial routine of going to work, eating, and shitting. Why would they value social networks or memes if they are basically living a dumb life with no desire for a 'creative outlet' where 'a tribe' is able to keep up with u? Real people 'know better' and don't try to cultivate value from feeling close to people on the internet, and they just try to find simple pleasures and stay happy+unhealthy.

I want to get more in touch with 'the common man.' The regular 'dudes and chicks' who are just looking for something to take up their time between the hours of 5-11:30 pm (the time after work, but before bed). Sometimes TV is pretty sweet, and eating can take up a lot of time too. Might get into a dead end relationship, start eating tons of 'shitty food', and chill my way over to a redbox everynight, telling myself that I'm 'getting a sweet deal.'

I get s00 tired of Barack Obama saying that we need 2 'get more technological' to save the economy, like some 'huge breakthru' is gonna save us. He needs to realize that we need to sell down market, creating an economy of 'poor people' who think that they 'have luxuries' and stuff like that. We need to help them feel empowered by making their lives' easier. While so many of the headlines go to things like 'twitter', 'macbook', and 'iPhone' just because they are overwhelming brands, we really need to realize that simple things make money too. Simple things last forever, that's why soda machines still chill in every building in America. For $1, you can have the pleasure of a refreshing cola beverage.

Feel like we need more vending machines, like pizza vending machines

Or possibly games where u 'have a slim chance of winning' but still give u 'hope' that ur special+smart+competent enough to win, like the game STACKER, or that game where you have to knock tokens over the edge to 'win.'

I believe that America can recover from 'the recession', but we have to admit that we are what we are. We have to admit that we are probably only a top20 nation in the world, and that we can build a self-sustaining economy if we just admit that we are humans who have simple pleasures. Sorta like a high school kid who 'thought he should get into an Ivy League school' but then realized he was only 'smarter than the dumb people in his/her high school' and 'started to settle for social acceptance as a reward.' We must get in touch with ourselves'. We can eat well until we die and watch cool shit every night [via HD]. Feel like we need to stop trying to be 'extremely innovative' and possibly just 'execute simple ideas.'

If ur a student going into college, I would encourage you to major in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Marketing, or Communications. These majors will enable you to see how the world works, and teach you to make good decisions about life.

See yall later. Gonna go rent a movie for $1. Hope I return it on times so I'm not charged $25. Get lazy sometimes but at least I get to keep a sweet DVD.

Please use the comments section to pitch ur ideas+economic recovery plan to 'the government.'

Most alternative people weren't born with the innate gift of 'being alt.' Every one goes through a series of life & consumer experiences which lead them to their current personal brand.

Eventually, we all make the choice to 'let the world know who we are' based on the clothes that we wear. There is a natural progression where we go from 'wearing the clothes that our parents bought for us' to 'the clothes that our parents buy but we choose.'

While the Jonas Brothers aren't a good example of authentic alts, we can use them as a tool to monitor fashion and trend implementation/integration into an 'alternative-ish' personal brand with a core value of 'standing out' by looking 'edgy, yet mainstream.'

////HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS/////
////PERSONAL BRAND TRANSITION://
////FROM CONSUMER TWEEN////////
////TO PERCEIVED-ALT--//////////
////FORGING UR IDENTIY//////////
////ACCORDING 2 OTHERS//////////

Letting people know that you are 'different' starts out with small things, kinda like wristbands, occasional headbands, and stuff that's a little bit post-Abercrombie.

There might be an awkward phase where you aren't 100% sure on what you are wearing means about you.

Being different sometimes means having a 'zany personality', and utilizing faded jeans and HardyBoys-ExpressMen Graphic Tees with metaphorical airbrush designs.

You can't have a zany personal brand forever. Not even Jim Carrey/Will Ferrell could do that.

Then winter roles around and u wear clothes that make you yearn for more than being just 'a kid in a wristband.' You are looking to stand out & show people that you paid good money for the unique, classy clothes that you purchased.

You like how u feel when u 'dress up' and you like the attention. It makes you feel more authentic than 'just another crombie/thrifter/UrbanOutfittedBro/bro in a colourful t-shirt.'

Eventually you can find 'a personal look' that works on a day-to-day basis that you are happy with. You have time to do things like straightening your hair.

There might be some events that you have to 'dress down for' but you can utilize your fashion knowledge to find an acceptable solution, like man-pris.

In the end, you'll find that life is a constant search for the perfect object/accessory to tie around your neck.

Once again, while the Jonas Brothers are 0% authentic, they are a great example of tweens who 'had a desire to establish their personal brand by utilizing progressively non-progressive consumer fashion trends.' While the jBros will be trapped in the '14 year old at a mall in suburbia' fashion phase for the rest of their lives', it's important for you to be in touch with who you were as you transitioned into who you are today.

You may have found an effective way to spend little money to buy unique clothes, or maybe you spend lots of money to buy clothes that help you identify with humanity. However, we need to stay in touch with our 'impressionable inner-tween' and His desire to 'fit in'&'stand out.'

But srsly, if u were gonna meet the President, what would u wear?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e5Z1GewhdY&hl=en&fs=1]