content farms | Hipster Runoff

content farms

How Indie Finally OFFICIALLY Died: The Broken Indie Machine.


2k12 has been a really boring year for indie. I’ve been trying to figure out why every thing seems so boring 2 me. I am beyond uninterested, and it has impacted the quality of my blog, along with the quantity of posts that I am inspired to post. In order to attempt to move forward, I will write openly about my current perceptions on The State of the Indiesphere (even though talking about indie is effing boring, too).

R u s000 b00red with indie?
Does it feel like u just check the same indie sites/twitterfeeds/facebooks over and over again, finding nothing and more nothing?
When u click on something, do u feel more ‘link baited’ than ‘interested’?
Have u lost ur connection with artists that you once felt passionate about?
Is the thrill of finding new bands ‘gone’?
Is it ‘just time’ 2 close the book and start something new? How do we even go about doing that?
Is this just ‘part of growing up’ and ‘losing interest’ in something that once felt meaningful 2 u?
Or are we stuck in a broken system that will only perpetuate the evil buzz of the Corrupt Indie Machine?
Is the indie news cycle more ‘predictable’ and ‘boring’ than ever?
Have we reached a ‘status quo’/standard operating procedure for the buzz game that we once loved creating and deconstructing?
Did Lana Del Rey ruin it all?
Did Kanye West's 10.0 ruin it all?
Is the Indie Buzz machine totally broken and unrepairable?

I am bored with indie. Maybe every1 kinda feels this way, or I’m just losing interest in ‘indie & alt culture’, particularly the Genre Formerly Known As Indie Music. I just don’t buy the buzz any more. Maybe I’m too close, I’ve seen how the buzz is made. I’ve seen the faces behind the Corrupt Indie Machine in VIP areas across the world and while there are still some pure souls, it is a broken, unfixable machine that should be put to death. Maybe I’m just growing up, or just trying to escape the overwhelming feeling that the people who still ‘100% buy the buzz’ are laggard ass posers, stagnant cool dads and post-tweens who have some sort of Tavi-Gevinson malfunctioning/contrived nostalgia for the years 2k2-2k8. Like those young people who are just ‘trying to act like grownups’ because they didn’t have any friends as kids, or something.

Maybe I am guilty because I am part of the problem and cannot be a part of the solution.

Maybe it is time for indie ass losers to just go and die, listening to the same overhyped artist from ‘the prime years of indie’ until we all die. We’ll just keep buying ________ (tenured indie band) albums until we’re dead, growing old alongside our favorite artist that connect us to the cognitive prime of our youth even though their music already sounds old and dated.

While that’s probably true, I don’t think it’s time yet, and we deserve one last phase of innovation before we are officially irrelevant and metaphorically wearing diapers because we shit ourselves’ and no longer deserve 2 be alive. Sometimes I’ll think about why I no longer enjoy music festivals, and I’ll think, “That’s for the tweens and teens.” But I feel like I’m shorting myself of a meaningful experience because of commitment and intimacy issues.

I have always taken an internet-centric point of view when it comes to music, meaning that indie = internet music. An internet enabled genre that scaled alongside indie websites in order to create a day to day experience with users. Eventually, ‘mainstream’ websites began to cover ‘indie’ as well, and now it is all just a pretty standard newscycle. It has been that way for a few years, not a ‘new’ or ‘innovative take.’ But what makes the indiesphere different is that we are ‘curating/enabling/facilitating art’ so there is a direct relationship between the media and the art. It’s not like sports where the media doesn’t impact the outcome of the results [via decided on the field according 2 rules].

Here we are in the content farm era where Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, SPIN, HIPSTER RUNOFF, Brooklyn Vegan, AbsoluteIndieMag.biz, Stereogum, Buzzfeed Music, Shitty McBlogBlogMagazine.com/Music, GVB, FADER, Complex, [other random ass blog/dumb website/magazine] all generally post the same stuff. It’s just a matter of creating brand loyalty via aesthetics and the perception of premium content to lemming ass internet users.

Maybe just make something that people can share on Facebook to controversially discuss amongst their friends.

The demand for ‘innovative’ content has formed a buzz bubble. Chillwave and sponsored-content-wave artists were the main beneficiary of this bubble (post2k.5-2k11), but now, so many bands are getting a taste of alleged buzz ‘before they are ready’/before it even means anything in a legitimate context. The buzz machine is broken because there is no trusted, fail proof mechanism to create pure buzz.

Take for instance, Purity Ring, the initial 2k12 ‘next Grimes’ of the year. Two well intentioned weirdo Canadian kids who make decent enough music that ‘sounds the way it is supposed to sound.’ Conceptual, bleep bloop, girl saying random ass things that make no sense. They were signed to ‘major indie label’ 4AD because they ‘sounded and looked the way indie is supposed to sound and look in 2k12’ in order to ensure that it was adequately covered, attended, and sold well.

It looks/feels/sounds like some sort of parody of what ‘indie’ has become [via Spinal Tap]. Srsly though, “WTF is she even talking about? If I wanted to hear inane jibberjabby, I would have listened to Thommy Yorke in the early 2k0s. If I wanted to hear conceptual bleep bloops, I would have built a time machine to go back to 2k8. If I wanted to buzz a boy-girl duo, I would have gone back to 2k_. If I wanted a diy conceptual light show, I would have gone back to 2k_.”

Not to belittle the artistic intentions of Purity Ring like I do with so many established acts, but it’s just hard for me to really connect with them, and not see them as trapped inside the lifeless charade that indie buzz has become. They have assembled a team of people around them who know how to play the game. That’s just boring to me. The probably isn’t even really with them, just the way that we have come to digest them, just like the previous 100 bands that we were trained to love. If anything, the Corrupt Indie Machine has forced us to digest the same meal over and over again for too long. Corrupt Content Farms are so quick to milk the life out of anything new that there are only 2 options for a ‘RISING’ buzzband’s career: Formulaic Rise 2 Indie Coverage or Immediately Fading Back into the Fringes of the Buzzlands.

Which existence is more authentic? Getting a job at Enterprise RentACar and hating ur life.

Additionally, failed memes like Kitty Pryde are just like ‘Get the fuck outta here.’ Farms are so eager to ‘break down the meme’ that Kitty Pryde didn’t even really get to happen because we already saw it with Kreayshawn/RiffRaff, except it didn’t feel like she got the corrupt buzz machine pieces behind her to generate content at a rate to ‘keep people interested’. People are so eager to adopt to a meme these days that some fat ass Korean guy is now the most famous person on the planet for mastering the William Hung act.

Content-farm-core rappers like Riff Raff are a toxic byproduct of this era. They are interesting to watch, cover, ‘think piece’ about, and gawk at, but at the end of the day, the resonate more for being an active internet participant than they do for the alleged ‘art/commerce’ that they are promoting.

“Whatever happened to the spirit of rocknroll?” [via being untraditional/breaking rules]. The rules of indie/content-farm-core are s0000 b0ring. Ughhh. I’m so00oo00o bored even writing about it. I’m so ashamed. I need some new faces from new places who aren’t just trying to play this dumb game that we’re s00oo0o bored of. UGhhh this is totally just more NOISE in ur feed. Who cares. Why even try 2 breakthru the noise on the internet? Just become a part of the noise. Tweet another dumb tweet and pray for retweets.

I am fighting against the 'real world' [via the harsh realities of the internet] squashing me and my formative indie ideals. The spirit of indie taught us that bedroom musicians could make something of themselves, creating a fruitful buzz career from a series of creative nights. We rooted for them, we enjoyed covering them. But now our buzz harvest has gone bad, and now is the Winter of Our Buzz Content.

If content farms have ruined the purity of internet content with listicles, contrived SEO-inspired Bleacher Report-wave think pieces, and other lame ass content that is still lucrative and successful, then it is clear that content farms have ruined artists. It diminishes the fan connection to an artist, and artists are also given a false sense of ‘accomplishment’ for being the 99th post out of 100 on RollingStone.com. No1 cares about ur band bro. U just look and sound the way ‘new music’ is supposed to sound.

I’m not sure if I have unreasonable expectations. There just has to be a new way that bands can ‘become bands’ other than ‘getting on the same set of websites that will issue predictable opinions on them.’ Or maybe a website can offer a new way of presenting bands without standardized commentary. Perhaps ‘streaming services’ like Spotify and Pandora have become those to some extent. Those appeal to the people who ‘just want the music’ without needing to know the context.

As for ‘blogs,’ there isn’t really any incentive to ‘curate’ a legitimately authentic flow of content any more. Once again, not a new point, but just another part of the broken indie machine. Due to the symbiotic relationship between the media and the artists, we can never have buzz the way it once was. It’s just the same old song & dance over and over again. s00oo0oo0o bored.

There hasn’t even been an interesting album cycle this year. The indie album cycle has just become this stupid ‘ceremonial process’ where every1 is supposed to knight a band and say, “Sigh... They’ve come so far. They’ve really grown into their own. They are older and wiser now.” That was cool to do in 2k9 [via the maturation of AnCo], but I guess there isn’t really anything that interesting about these bands any more, other than ‘they are indie bands that make indie music.’ Not every band deserves a pseudo-cover story or ‘think piece’ where we ‘try to figure them out.’ Due to the demand for pseudo-premium ‘long form’ content, some bands have been elevated beyond ‘nice sounding band that I listen to a few times a week but don’t need to know anything about.’

Currently, competitive content farms require 30-100 posts per day in order to stay competitive scale, maintaining a high level of pageviews and uniques [via Search Engine Optimization]. Long form ‘journalism’ is just another worthless content vertical, no more valuable than a photo gallery, interview, or viral meme recap. Readers are too dumb/don't have enough time to curate on their own, so they basically just end up lost on the web, an aimless series of links to click around. Related content that is unrelated to anything relevant.

Additionally, the content farm basically kills the singular voice of any one writer. I can’t really think of many writers who are known by ‘the common indie fan’ as an important/singular voice in indie culture/music. Sure, the ‘talent’ is theoretically there (not really, I’m just being nice [via hypotheticals]), but it is all squashed by the output of the content farm, flushed down the page and into the toilet that is the internet. I’m not even sure what to think about the insane group of ‘young writers’ who legitimately want to ‘cover new music/the indie scene.’ I feel like there aren’t people who are interested in ‘trailblazing their own vibe with their own agenda’, they only want to become one of those people responsible for 7 posts per day for an established content farm. Indie writers can then tweet endorsements about how amazing their blurbs and ‘think pieces’ are, in order to create an illusion of actually doing something that matters even though we are all trapped in the Broken Indie Machine.

There are also certain ‘rules’ to indie coverage that make it boring. You can only pan a band when it is one album too late. You are not allowed to get bored with something you praised just one album ago. Do not offend those bands and individuals who facilitate decent content. Never call out a tenured indie band for their marginal product. We are all guilty.

The weird thing is that there is tons of ‘cool’ content out there. It This ‘cool’ content is usually sponsored by some brand, curated by some website. For example, there was the ToTaLLy KeWL collab between Best Coast and some flavor on the month ‘rising’ rapper.

Theoretically this is ‘kewl’, and paid artists and the Fader Magazine with some of Coca Cola’s billion dollar advertising budget, but who cares. It’s for fucking Vitamin Water. It’s not cool. So lame. Part of me wonders if the indie blogosphere was just some sort of ‘ultimate online advertising’ beta test, where we just worked to create innovative ways to facilitate sponsored experiences.

We’ve allegedly learned that ‘even successful indie bands no longer get paid’ [via Grizzly Bear NYMag gimmicky profile piece], so it makes me feel that any post-2k8.5 buzzband’s only hope is to ‘completely sell out their sound’ [via Foster the People], or just do some solid cash grabs in sponsored opportunities. Give it a good 2-5 year run, then start a new life.

It is hard for me to ‘get legitimately excited’ about new bands because they aren’t really allowed to play by their own rules. They have to play by the rules of the large content farms, as dictated by a publicist who will ‘get them on’ a series of websites that allegedly craft their identity. Sure, some bands tour hard, winning over fans, and that will always probably be more important than ‘the internet.’ But the blogosphere used to be a place that could help artists, now it just boringly boxes them up in a content-farmmy way that might be more detrimental than the ‘old, boring magazines’ that we used to complain about.

From this point forward, referring to your band as ‘being’ or ‘sounding like’ indie will mean that you have a ba$ic ass band, stuck in the past, trying to replicate the sounds and buzz practices of yesterday. Indie exists, but no one should want to join that club any more. I don’t know what is next, and I don’t know if the internet media will perpetuate ‘indie’ until the internet dies.

When I first started this blog, I used to be excited to contribute to an ongoing discussion about art, artists, music, 'the internet indie scene', and any sort of forward progress when it came to ‘the little genre that could.’ Sure, ‘indie’ as we once loved it has been dead for a while, but I can’t help but wonder if things are going to change, who is interested in bringing about change, and if there is anything to culturally look forward to any more. I used to feel like I was sharing a real part of myself when it came to the excitement and curation of independent artists, but now I am basically just bored, resentful, bored, and disconnected.

Can an artist be considered ‘authentic’ any more when they are just processed by the Broken Indie Machine?
Who are the Next Wave of “Authentic” Artists?

The next wave of relevant artists to be excited about won’t play the game by the outdated indie content farm rules.
The next wave of relevant artists to be excited about will rediscover 100% authentic buzz.
The next wave of relevant artist to be excited about _____________________________.
The next wave of artists to be excited about will be corrupted by the Broken Indie Machine.

Can we find a new corner of the internet to find music from? Is there an untapped buzz oasis in the middle of our buzz desert [via drought]? Or will the Corrupt Indie Machine suck the buzz watering hole dry, bottling the water, and marketing it to relevant demographics by way of sponsored opportunities?

Maybe the indie experiment only existed to create Grimes, the ultimate internet content producer who makes content directly aimed at internet viewers. She is the best example of ‘not being a band/musician’, but instead a ‘playing by the rules’ content generation machine that resonates with humans wasting time on the internet.

While I will no longer refer to the Genre Formerly Known as Indie Music as ‘indie’, I still believe in the formative spirit of indie. I still feel passionate about music as a unique experience that can be cherished in meaningful ways. I’m just tired of the way things are done and can’t tell if I should just ‘shut up and deal’ or if it is realistic to believe that there are new, different ways to do things for bands, content farms, and fans. Or maybe things are awesome and this is what we always wanted and now that we have it.

Whether it’s music, culture, memes, opinions, or any sort of web content, I h8 the content farm era, because it makes me want to share less of myself because it is all just to get people to read this even if you trying to write something genuine to make a point because you want to connect with people.

“I guess we were all just killing time on the internet for the past __ years anyways. Who cares.”
-us when we die

“It all used to feel like it meant something real.”
-every1 about the past

Corrupt Indie Machine

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Event, Company, Meme

The Corrupt Indie Machine is a massive conspiracy between the Indie Media, Blogs, Buzzbands, Buzz Humans and (Major and Indie) Labels to produce and farm inauthentic, inorganic, artificial buzz.

Lists:
Read more>>>>

Has Rolling Stone hit a new low 4 music journalism and/or content farms?

Memes Via Rock, Crackle, Pop: If Music Stars Had Cereals
These fantasy cereals are a good source of high-fiber funny

foster the people cereal
The Music Buzzosphere Blogosphere
Is a Crazy, Cruel Place
Dropping MP3s, memes, news, thoughts, ideas
into a deep, monetized well

This is our Utopia
an abstract space that we tell ourselves represents 'modern culture'
We are kings
in control of the masses who are desperate for clickable culture

Maybe we are all kids who are wearing pumped up kicks
running as fast as we can
to avoid being fostered ppl...

It's u, it's u, it's all just trying to generate content 4 u
But maybe it's not abt 'the love of music' any more
attempting to be the ultimate percolator of buzz

Sometimes all we can do
is manufacture a box of memes
4 lamestreamers who are 'on the go' 2 snack on 4 breakfast.

Even if it is a bit Korny [via dubstep originators]
maybe this is all we have left

Maybe there is nothing left

We are all trying 2 win the internet
Get 'mad followers'
Utilize metric to prove that we are 'influencers'
Playing the role of the ultimate cultural commentator
Utilizing humor, seriousness, but most importantly, memeness

Sigh...
I can't go 4 that...
No can do...

She is truly
a blogeater
[via content consumer, sharer, disposer]

Pop Culture is a cruel, cruel monetization pyramid scheme
Do u have the drive 2 compete?
Content Farm 2 Content Farm
4 the most hits possible
Every website must begin to become a 'one stop destination'
4 lamestreamers
who will load our website
while we are bored

The way we consume music has chngd
bc no1 even cares abt music
It's only abt meme, celebrity, and pseudo-controversy
As some1 who doesn't care abt authentic music journalism
Some displays of content farmian do not make me cry for 'the death of music journalism'
but instead for those who are trapped
chasing dreams of 'writing' in the name of farming

It's hard 2 even know what the blogosphere even is any more
What is a magazine, blog, webzine, tumblr, kickstarted zone blog
Would my dead son who fell off a balcony
know my name if he saw my box of cereal meme in heaven?

I guess the White Stripes were right...
It doesn't even matter if u make good music
all u need is a song that people can hum
[via "DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNN DUNN DUNN DUNN" being the defining sound of Jack White's career]

There is truly nothing left here.

Oh Feisty...
She did not ask 4 this...
Even she 'gave up' after her hit 1st album
tired of being processed as a mainstream mega meme

Perhaps we should all be placed
in a Special Victims Unit

Searching for some Blog & Order
Inside the massive ass of my wife
while I eat her butt hole

Perhaps we have all been doing it wrong
and the future of the indie musicsphere is not in
'blurbs', 'think pieces' and 'EXCLUSIVE mp3s'
but instead
in the boxes of cereal

perhaps these boxes each contain the ultimate prize
the golden content
which upholds music journalism authenticity

'When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Content Farmer for Rolling Stone.'
-Almost Famous 2: The Fall of Authentic 'Music and/or Culture Writing'

Did 'culture' ever even exist
or should we all just go 2 Africa
and let spooky witch doctors control our vision of culture
instead of 'deep pocketed marketing teams and major brands'

In the name of content
What more in the name of content?

It was a beautiful day [via the farm]
Don't let it get away.

Do 'music journalism' dream jobs exist, or has every1 just turned into a 'content farm strategist'?
Is there any point in 'being creative' and making things 4 'the web'?
Is there such thing as a 'music journalism dream job' any more, or is the web fueled by demented ppl who are self-obsessed, yet channel that obsession towards 'crap that doesn't matter' like culture consumption?
Do u evr get tired of 'consuming culture'/memes on the web?
Is it all ovr?
Should we all just get full time jobs at Enterprise RentACar and stop worrying abt buzz, cultural commentary, and keeping up with today's big meme?
Should we all just 'effing off ourselves'?
Is the web the most progressive place 2 publish new thoughts and ideas, or should we all just write with our own feces on the wall of a bathroom?
Do u ever just see the web as a flat, dead place where lamestreamers are supposed 2 mindlessly click?
Do U hAvE AnY ZaNy BuZzBaNd CeReAL iDeAs?

Is this it?


Goodnite, Cruel World.

Lana & Me: Our Dark, Abusive, Co-Dependent Relationship on the Content Farm


I have a blog called HIPSTER RUNOFF. Every day, I wake up, open my laptop, and type words that are stored in the internet as ‘content.’ My goal is to ‘get as many hits’ as possible because I metaphorically ‘have mouths to feed.’ I realize that at this point, it doesn’t matter if my content is ‘premium’, pseudo-brilliantly written web_prose or just ‘link-bait-wave,’ I was fortunate enough to not have gotten lost in the ‘long tail’ of indie music + Gen-Y-opinion-driven coverage blogs. Every day, I prey upon different buzz topics, exploiting my voice, but more importantly, my position as a ‘recognized outlet 4 buzz’ to try to trick people into thinking I am ‘relevant’, which basically just means that I am trying to make ppl talk abt my blog and get them addicted to my web brand even if they hate it because even when they are like ‘OMG THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT’ it is just some sort of post-grassroots-h8-wave-warketing.

My goal as a website is to ‘be the ass hole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the ass hole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’

Lana Del Rey is the perfect buzz topic, and I’ll never forget the times we shared in late 2k11 and early 2k12. I honestly do wish the best for her career, not because I have a rooting interest in her/care about her as a person, but because Lana Del Rey is an important search term to refer viewers to my website.

Sometimes I wonder, when it’s all said and done, and the internet is deleted, will I only be remembered as “The Guy Who Invented Chillwave?”

It feels like Lana Del Rey was sent down from the buzz heavens, God’s way to save us from the well-documented buzz drought that has plagued us since early 2k10. Some blamed the buzzbands for not putting out solid mp3s. They said that there were not enough buzzworthy bands 2 authentically buzz and that buzz was being misappropriated unfairly due to blogosphere favors and the fear of hurting the feelings of legacy, past-their-prime buzzbands. In the post-LDR bubble burst world, we are finally able to see what caused the buzz drought: it was the bloggers, the writers, the content farmers, and the implosion of the sub-prime buzzing crisis that has been the expanding crack in the foundation the indie blogging and content farming infrastructure since as far back as 2k8.5.

LanaBB officially redefined the core competencies of the ‘indie blogosphere.’

We used to be tastemakers. We used to be regulators. We used to be trustworthy. We used to be a valuable resource. Lana made it okay for us to post magazine covers. Lana Del Rey was pretty enough to post even the most irrelevant performance video. For the first time, Lana Del Rey took indie blogs over ‘the edge’, and made it okay for us to speculate about her physical appearance, which is way more interesting than trying to figure out if her artistic ambitions are ‘relevant’/pure. Basically, Lana Del Rey finally marginalized ‘the decently-enough-thought-out opinion piece’ into a worthless meme that any one could poop out.

#LDRSNL marked another maturation/retardation milestone for ‘online indie journalism’, bringing the indie blogosphere from a humble place that posted MP3s with generally positive/neutral commentary, and flung us right into the generalist meme-blurb content farm spotlight. We scrambled like enslaved content farmers, minutes after the performance to preserve our Google rank with a perfectly placed headline. We were ready to chew up and spit out memes, finally ‘graduating to the big leagues’ with a ‘big boy meme’, not just some other over-written ‘spotlight’ on a group of poor dudes from Brooklyn who were ToTtaLLY wErTh ChEcKiNg OuT and/or the typical ‘no one cares--what happened to REAL music?’ reaction pieces to said buzzband.

Buzz experts truly believe that Lana Del Rey is the last artist/band that the network of indie blog buzz will have a role in ‘hyping.’ The happy days of the AnCo 2k9 buzzosphere are long gone, and we all cannot just get along. After Lana Del Rey, we live in a hypeless world where we trust no outlet, now that we have finally seen the hype apocalypse because the LDR snake-eating-its-own-tail cycle has finally ended, and the sum is “-0” [via undefined]. Readers who once thought that they were reading organic, farm-grown content will feel misled, angry, and betrayed by the warped context of blogs.

I’ll admit that as a blog, I am obsessed, and probably over-estimate the impact of ‘modern web media’ on ‘reality.’ But it seems like LDR was a blogosphere ‘passion project’ that we incubated, and got to ‘tear down’ for the sake of generating, controlling, and commenting our own content. We enjoyed it, sorta like while u r stroking ur peen, but then u finally ‘effing blow’, and you are not sure whether you should admit ‘how good’ it felt. After #LDRSNL, no one is sure who has control of the #LDR meme any more. It was her viking meme funeral, even if she goes on to achieve mad sales in Europe/decent sales in America.

“Where r u Lizzy Grant? R u okay? I swear, I care about you. Blogs r mean. :-(”
-some blog with female readers

LDR should probably make other alt famous humans and upcoming buzz humans incredibly nervous, because the silent agreement of ‘pandering’ to indie celebs is over. The concept Indie celebrity may or may not exist, but a successful blog now must realize that the way indie blogs ‘baby’ the ‘alt famous’ in order to preserve relationships can no longer exist. Mudslinging will be beneficial to both parties. Maybe after LDR, it will no longer be a good idea to be ‘an anonymous’ project because then dumb blogs will just use Google to construct an unfair narrative for you.

I think the most interesting/most-covered story to come out of the #LDRSNL tank job was the ‘widely read and covered’ story about the guy who invented Gawker and revolutionized modern content farming, Nick Denton, publishing a private email from famous NBC newsanchor Brian Williams for the sake of ‘winning hits’ and introducing the Gawker web-brand to non-readers. In the email, NBC Nightly news anchor Brian Wiliams basically just says LDR is a disgrace, but I guess it is ‘interesting’ because he works for NBC, or something. His commentary on ‘her’ as a ‘person’ is as arbitrary & worthless as yours or mine, but the keyword synergy behind the story is ‘so money’ and it ‘doesn’t even know it’, except Gawker’s genius content farm editor has a sixth sense for virality that most crappy bloggers will never have. A.J. Daulerio will always be remembered as one of the Founding Fathers of Modern Content Farming.

As I struggle to deal with my own periodic content farm existential crises, I wish I could have just invented Gawker. We could’ve had it all. Rolling in the deep pool of unique visitors.

In no way is the ‘conversion of blogs to content farms’ and ‘the secret corporate nature of indie blogs’ a fresh, relevant, or innovative ‘take’. I am just trying to share my view from inside the meme prison with you. Lana Del Rey and I are on this content farm together sort of like we are the last and only two humans left on Earth. We hate eachother, but at the same time we need eachother to stay alive. There will never be any sort of cathartic epiphany where we admit wrong-doing, nor will there ever be a genuine reconciliation. We will never have what feels like a ‘real’ relationship with Lana Del Rey.

Where does ‘the modern media’s relationship’ with Lana Del Rey go from here?

Unfortunately for indie bloggers, it is back to posting dumb MP3s and serving as a well-crafted PR blast for bands that every1 already knows about. As ‘writers’/people who publish text to webpages on the internet, can we be so sure that another meme comet like Lana Del Rey will come again in our lifetime? Will we sit on our porch, every day looking up at the sky, wondering if another Lana will come by... Or this this our final chance to ‘commit suicide’ with other members of our stupid cult in an effort to be transported into the buzz spaceship that is trailing in the tail of the comet [via Heaven’s Gate/Marshall Applewhite vibes]?

Why do we keep going?
Why do we keep farming in the name of blogging in the name of writing?

In the name of authentic music journalism? What more in the name of authentic music journalism.
-Bono [via U2]

Online publishing is ‘relatively new’ [via long-term historical contexts]. I guess this is just a natural part of the maturation process of the beloved idea of the indie blogosphere. But who even wants to be a part of indie blog farming any more?

Even the most ‘talented’ people who ‘write things on the internet that are actually worth reading’ and/or are reduced to farm fodder. Every character of a writer, blog, or content farm’s 140 character or less tweet is cringe-worthy, 100% worth resenting. Part of me feels ‘confused’ as to why any one would even want to ‘be a music writer’, or write about bands/humans/music on the internet. It takes a warped personality to believe that any one ‘gives a damn about what you and ur crappy website’ thinks, unless you are being paid handsomely for it, then you can sort of approach it like a desk job. It will dehumanize you every day, but at least it pays the bills.

Who is ‘actually passionate’ about ‘how they feel about Lana Del Rey’? It doesn’t matter if you are writing an ‘IN DEFENSE OF LANA DEL REY’ or if you are writing a hilarious and/or insightful web culture + societal takedown piece that accurately deconstructs #LDRgate with an original angle. We all have the same motive. Can 1 voice really shift an entire conversation? What the eff do u think ur gonna tastemake? Do u think u can really make another LDR? Those days are gone, child. We’ve peaked. It’s over. The machine’s broken. Somebody call the Geek Squad.

I am on the edge. I no longer believe in blog evolution. I no longer believe in buzz creationism. I am a believer in buzz intelligent design.

It is interesting to think that there is a generation who even finds these memes to be ‘interesting’ enough to think that they want to be a part of the indiesphere discussion. Do they think the can ‘save’ it by showing us cool, new bands? Do they think they can save us from the content farming doom? Do they think that they can reverse the impact of social media on the speedy, link-baiting nature of all websites, designed to ‘get a good jump on’ SEO?

The indie blogosphere is over the hill. Our opinions are old, tired, uninspired. The next generation will follow our lead, continuing to turn things into poo, inspired by the biased outlook on indie celebrity and relevance that we portrayed to them for years. There is nothing worth saving. Everything is COMPLETELY EFFED, but it will keep going, and we will keep writing that it is COMPLETELY EFFED, but no1 really cares and there isn’t really anything to fix so I guess maybe we should act like it is a beautiful indie film and find ‘happiness and peace’ with that truth.

It is all just sort of just ‘funnie’ but also ‘sad.’ Are the dreams in which Lana Del Rey is dying on the stage of SNL = the best we’ve ever had?

Lana Del Rey saw it coming. We all saw it coming.

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In the post-LDR blogging era, I feel free to openly admit that I don’t care about honoring ‘bands that sound good’. The opinions that I have on bands are not actually my own, and my goal is not to preserve a relationship with readers or bands/artists based on editorial pandering. All I can do is ‘go down in flames’ with my sweet, Princess LanaBB. My demented online personality that motivates me to type these words in order to accumulate hits, empathy, praise, and controversy does not have much time left.

Wag The Blog.

Cultural criticism on the internet is dying because we finally realized that the voices behind blogs, twitter feeds, and authentic writing outlets are as fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous as the fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous voices that we thought we had escaped from.

I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am a content farmer. These words mean more to the Google robot than they do 2 u. There is nothing exciting about writing, tweeting, or sharing opinions. I do not want to inspire any one to follow me into this dark prison, surrounded by a pile of memes, while I must sort thru them and spin them as ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, or whatever else will generate a pageview.

Lana & Me had it all. I’ll look back and think about what I could have done differently. But I'll also think about how beautiful our effed up relationship was and how it some how 'just worked.'

To music and indie purists, Lizzy Grant is the AntiChrist.
To indie modernists and loveslaves of internet content, Lana Del Rey is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Having said that, Lana Del Rey hit a GRAND SLAM on SNL. U did it, BB! I am proud of u. U took 1 for ‘the team’, and now we’re all gonna go to Pizza Hut after the game to celebrate. C U THERE. Let’s share a pitcher of Pepsi. We deserve it. We worked hard.

Is Lana Del Rey indie’s ‘Rebecca Black moment’?
Is LDR ‘not even a big deal’?
Do all buzz humans die?
What’s ur fave content farm?
What’s the future of indie blogosphere?
Do u generally feel ‘who cares’ abt it all?
Do u mainly load webpages ‘out of habit’ not rlly because the site emotionally resonates with u?
If u thought LDR album cycle #1 was fun, are you PUMPED for album cycle #2 in 2-3 years?
Does LDR 'have it all' or 'have nothing'?
Do u <3 LDR for emancipating us from being farm slaves?
Can the farm become self-ware [via skynet]?
Where is Lana Del Rey right now?

"The Great Lana Del Rey Meme Harvest" by Carles

Set to the tune of Garth Brooks' "The Dance"
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Looking back on the memory of
The Lana Del Rey meme harvest we shared on all the content farms
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye?

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
U could have missed the pain, cyberbullying and slutshaming
But I'd of had to miss the great Lana Del Rey meme harvest

Memeing you, I memed everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know... I might have changed it all...

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go [via SNL]
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Yes my bloglife is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the Great Lana Del Rey meme harvest

Luv u Lana. Mean it. <3 :-*

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