crowdsurfing | Hipster Runoff

crowdsurfing

Fallen Dubstreamers: We Shouldn't Have Crowdsurfed :-(


So there I was...
At my first relevant music festival that showcased a top tier dubstep DJ
Vibing hard with my hands in the air

I felt a force picking me up
Was it the spirit of dubstep
crunching the ground we walked on
lifting me up

I was surfing!
Surfing on the crowd
Making my way towards my fave dubstep DJ

Hands all over me
Grabbing my body everywhere
Carry me! Carry me 2 dubstream salvation!
Alas!

I was approaching the mainstage
I felt alive
I reached out my hands
I see an angry, buff security guy looking all pissed off at me

CRASH
BOOM
WAH WAH
WOMP WOMP WOMP

No, those were not the sounds of a dubstep breakdown
I fell down on my head
All of a sudden I began to feel dehydrated
I have no energy

One moment, u feel on top of the world
The next, you are sitting next to a dubstream bro checking his pulse

WAH WAH
WOMP WOMP

No, once again not the sound of a dubstep breakdown
That is my indistinguishable pulse
Am I dying?
Is my heart still beating?
Am I concussed?
Am I dehydrated?
Am I exhausted?
Is this why my parents didn't want me to go 2 a music festival?
Is dubstream too hardXcore 4 me?

Help.
All I wanted was a meaningful crowdsurfing session 2 never end
Instead, I got severely injured
My mom came to pick me up
We had a quiet meal at Taco Bell.

I am safe.
Save us from the dangers of dubstep!

I am a fallen dubstreamer.

Is crowd rafting safer & more authentic than crowd surfing?

Photos by thecobrasnake


I have always wanted to go to a show with tons of energy, and 'crowd surf' all over the venue. I'd feel the hands of a thousand alts, passing me around like a rag doll stuffed with authenticity and positive vibes. Every person who touched me would feel closer to the artist, closer to the heart of the party. The sea of hands would form chill waves, a chill, reflective tide that leaves all of the negative vibes washed out of my pores, exfoliating with layers upon layers of authentic Biore strips coated with buzz memes. I want to be the life of the party.

But sorta wonder if it is safe for women to crowd surf. I feel like it might be a better option for them 2 buy an inflatable raft, and bring it to the venue. When they feel like 'crowdsurfing', they can just blow up their raft, and surf around the venue. Whenever a female crowd surfs, men will 'do anything it takes' to have a lil grab.

Feel like my ultimate dream is to go crowd rafting with a group of my bros. Maybe at a large scale festival, like Coachella, where there is 'an ocean of fans' as opposed to just a 'sea of fans.' Need as much water space as possibly to execute this.

Gotta just get my group of bros, buy some Oars + an inflatable raft at my local outdoors shop, and get ready 2 go on the expedition of our lives'.

Just wanna raft around for a while, discovering new territories, sorta like Lewis and Clark.
Learning more about the indie / electro / alt scenes
Learning more about myself

Eventually, I would end up on stage, being escorted from my raft
I would shake the hands of the indie artist
and let them know that it was their vibes
that propelled me on my expedition

Even though the security / bouncer bros would be 'pissed'
Like crowd rafting is illegal and causes a huge safety hazard
and their club coulda been sued if I drowned in some metaphorical white water rapids
It was all worth the risk.

Just wanna go crowd rafting
so I don't get my 'goods' fondled by fans
Safety from unchill wavves
with the ability to float harder on authentic chillwaves

This is my journey
Bro overboard.

some1 just throw me a life preserver
cuz I feel like I'm drowning
even tho we're in the middle of a drought
The Great Buzz Drought of 2k10
Need relevant MP3s
so that my iPod can stay nourished
with authentic buzzbands

If u truly love ur iPod
u treat it like a digipet
and feed it mp3s every day

I recently escorted my teenage daughter to an independent rock concert.

Photo by thecobrasnake


My daughter begged and begged for the opportunity to see one of her favourite indie bands. Of course, with a name like that, I certainly had never heard of them, nor had I heard their music...except for when she hijacks the car stereo... Colour me unimpressed with all of this modern rock and roll music. Hmph.... While I can clearly see through the consumerist aspects of the music and marketing machines, sometimes you need to just turn your head and let your kid be a kid.

Well, she's a good kid--one of the brightest in her class, and she made an A on her recent pre-Algebra test. I'm a big believer in giving your kids freedom--something my parents never did. Who knows what I could have been if some one had believed in me and gave me some room to grow and make a few mistakes. Let's be honest... I don't want to be the bad guy in my kids' lives'. I want them to feel love, and I want them to experience life and love and art and beauty. I want them to live rich, meaningful lives', which is why it is important to let them cherish music.

The truth is, I am very protective of my 2 sons and particularly my daughter. It's been so hard to watch them grow up. I live in constant fear--a dark fear that they will make the wrong decisions, spiraling into a less than mediocre life filled with drugs, unprotected sex, and jobs in the service industry.

Photo via our driveway

Anyways... we drove to the venue. Lemme tell ya... Don't forget to bring cash for parking... They'll think of any way to make money off you these days. Before the show, I took my daughter to the merchandise stand so that she could pick out a t-shirt. She had a really hard time, since the designs were so intricate. I think she picked a good one, though...nothing too loud.

The band started playing, and it was actually invigorating. It reminded me of when I was young, but as you know, trends are much, much different these days. Everything was going great, but then I looked to my left and my daughter wasn't there. I looked to my right, and I just saw some greasy tween boy with deep acne scars. I looked behind me. I saw my daughter floating over a crowd of hands, being groped and manhandled in every which way by hundreds of sweaty palms.

This was truly the darkest moment I had ever experienced as a father. The only thing darker would probably be 'getting a lap dance' from my daughter at a 'titty bar.' Perhaps I should not have let her attend this concert. Perhaps I should have just dropped her off. It hurt to see my angel fade away, looking both uncomfortable and pleasured as men and boys touched her in her 'nether-regions.'

My daughter had vanished into the sea of tweenage hands. I let her go. I accepted that she was no longer my little baby girl. She had grown up, and it was time to let her spread her wings to become a beautiful alternative butterfly. She would find happiness in life, and my metaphorical teet would no longer quench her thirst for a fulfilling life.

She was gone, but in the distance I saw another teen girl moving towards me, as if the Lord's hands were bringing her to me. I realized I was at a rock indie concert. I realized I needed to have fun and be myself. The girl floated closer and closer to me. Eventually, she was held up by nothing but my arms.

I moved my and groped her, feeling her all around, exploiting the situation even though I was 20 years above the average crowd age. The truth is, I never experienced 17 year old sex when I was 16-19.

For the first time in years, I felt young again. People looked at me like I was a predator, or a sicko--but if only they knew what it was like to grow old. If only they knew these were the best days of their young lives'. If only they knew...

I am glad I let my daughter have her freedom, but more importantly, I got my own freedom back. I never saw my daughter again, but I know that somewhere, she is happy because she chose her own life. Enabling your children to make their own decisions relieves the pressure on you. Let them make their own mistakes. Let them live.


Has ur mom/dad ever escorted u to a concert/show that u wanted 2 attend?

Did the experience bring u closer together, or was it 'hella ghey' since u couldn't be urself?

Do ur parents think that ur just a 'trendhopping fggt'?

What kind of car do ur parents drive? [link2funnie_post]


Previous Crowd Surfing Coverage

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/crowd-surf-gang-bang.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/grabfest-2k8.html

Is it easier to be an altBro or an altGirl?

Photo via thefriendattack


I think that it is harder to be a 'girl' than it is to be a 'bro.' Especially in the alternative world. I feel like this girl is 'very brave' to wade across this sea of altbros, being moved around by the spirit of electro. I am not sure if I would trust so many bros with my body. Feel like a lot of guys would 'have a grab at my goods' or something. Might feel 'sexie' if they went home and 'jerked off' to thinking about touching me, though.

I feel like girls are 'objectified' in a different way, and have to meet very high standards to not only be 'hot', but to also be 'authentic.' I feel like girls are 'not as funny' and 'not as creative in ways that enable you to naturally socially climb.' I think that bros who are 'creative' don't have to be 'talented' and can utilize 'forced' gimmicks. Girls who are 'trying to expand their personal brands' are usually 'annoying' and 'jappy' or possibly 'desperate' and 'sad.' Feel like it is always a combo that is 'terrible', and then they end up with some inauthentic bro, and the enable some sort of 'weirdo reality.'

Feel sad that 'we're all insignificant', but I feel that women are still generally 'crazie' and 'are searching HARD 4 meaning', even if they pretend to 'not give shit', even girls who 'just do a lot of blow and listen to bloghouse and like 2 go thrifting.' Feel like bros just want '2 cum' on as many girls as possible. Feel like broads just want 'to be special' and 'different' in ways that might be difficult 2 fulfill.

I feel like girls are 'sadder' and 'take things very seriously.' I feel like bros are 'insecure' and 'angsty.' I feel like we all want to be special. I feel like we all want to be 'hot', 'relevant', and 'fuck lots of people', but I think bros and girls might 'get different things out of it.' I feel weird when people say that they 'just want to connect with a lot of people.'

I feel like being a 'homosexual' might make relationships easier. Not sure, though.

I feel like HRO would not have any readers if I blogged as 'Carla' or 'Cynthia' or 'Jessica' or some other female name. I feel like less people would want to 'identify with' me, or something.

Just another bro
making his way in the world
trying to find
love
a tug
and meaning
unsure about my sexuality

Would u rather be a boy or a girl?
If u were able to 'switch genders', would u masturbate more or less than u do now?

GLASSGATE 2K9 -BLOGHOUSE GONE WILD

I was recently browsing youtube, searching for live performances of all of my favourite bands, and I stumbledupon this video entitled "ALICE GLASS BEATS IDIOT OVER HEAD WITH MICROPHONE." I watched it 2 find out what was happening.

At the 1:25 mark, I noticed that the music stopped, and lead singer of Crystal Castles--Alice Glass--did something very violent. She slung her microphone back, and then wound up, and then hit some bro. U can hear a thud, which was probably an altbro skull being crushed by a microphone. Then she called him a 'fucker' and hit him a few more times.

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Kinda sad that one of my favourite altcelebs of the Blog House era resorted to hitting a bro with a microphone. Makes me kinda sad, but then u start 2 think, what did the altbro do to get beat+kicked out by a bouncer?

In the past, I have made several posts about ppl 'having a grab' at females when they fly into the crowd.
One Post is entitled "Alice Glass Upskirt Grab"
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/alice-glass-upskirt-grab.html

Another post features a tweenAltBro with braces drooling over having his face in Alice Glass's Business
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/i-dr00l-over-alice-glass.html

And here is some other Female Crowdsurfing Theory inspired by Uffie
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/grabfest-2k8.html

Hope people didn't get the wrong message from these posts. It's not okay to 'grab' female altcelebs, yall. U wouldn't grab a female accountant while she was accounting, would u? She's just doing her job. Hopefully venues don't make us start signing waivers b4 we go in to keep us from violating members of bands.

I'm kinda worried. I feel like this act might have happened because the BlogHouse bubble is bursting. A lot of altcelebs are feeling a lot of stress ever since the latest AnCo album came out, and sort of made electro/bloghouse seem obsolote+trivial.

Let's take some time to remember Alice Glass from her glory days with an old tribute video.

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Do yall know if this is the pic of the person who Alice Glass beat up?

Do yall agree with violence?
Or whenever an act of violence occurs, is some1 'asking for it'?
How far is 2 far, yall?
Should the other member of Crystal Castles have stood up 4 her?
Should we all have to take Anger MGMT classes?
Are 'acts of violence' just viral marketing techniques?

Have Child Predators Discovered a New Gimmick?


If I were a mainstream media journalist, I would turn this post into a puff piece that tells ppl how our society is falling apart. I would show this Man with Child Predator Glasses pouring vodka into the moufz of concert-goers, and try to point fingers at who could have possibly taught him this? Who is setting an example within our society that lets child predators have their way with God's children?

We can't just let every1 pour vodka in the moufs of every1.
There are laws within our society. The legal drinking age is 25 for a reason.
There are facebooks/social networking sites for child predators 4 a reason.
As an alternative population, we must do more to show that we are a good example for society as a whole. Please embrace the social responsibility of being a member of the alternative population.

h8 child preds
Hopefully Barry Obama finally starts doing stuff instead of sitting on his ass and smoking ciggs/going 2 Washington D.C. 'tittie barz'/'laser tag arenas.'

XX BONUS GRABFEST SCENARIO XX
Can I ask u a personal question?

[Photos by thecobrasnk]
If u were at an alternative event, and u looked in2 the sky, and saw a former 'it girl' appear above you, would u
a) pass her along, becoming one with the crowd
b) have a lil grab
c) protect her from other altbros trying 2 have a lil grab at her, hoping that she would notice you and let u have a legitimate grab at the end of the night
d) ask her for career advice
e) take a picture with your iPhone
f) take a picture with your dSLR
g) try to make a vlog with her
h) ask her on a meaningful date with the line 'I am not an alternative celebrity--but I do know what love is.'
i) ask her 'WTF is a meme?'
j) wait 4 Agyness
k) wait 4 Uffie
l) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Previous GrabFests
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/grabfest-2k8.html

GrabFest 2k8 (Uffie and Girl Talk crowdsurg & get groped)


In our modern world, whenever a female artist crowd surfs, any even is automatically renamed GRABFEST _K_ (depending on the date). Put urself in the shoes of a bro, or even an altBro... would U 'have a lil grab' if u had the chance?

It's difficult for any male to resist the temptation of 'sticking a finger or two' up some one's '_____.' This is why there are s0 many bros with 'shit eating grins' in the kute pic of Uffie above. If u were a girl, would u crowd surf?

[Photo by The Cobrasnake]

Previous memorable crowd surfing moments on HRO
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/crowd-surf-gang-bang.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/alice-glass-upskirt-grab.html

BUT SRSLY...
is there a point when crowd surfing is no longer authentic? Or is the act of 'crowd surfing' something that marketing firms invented to add 'meaningful emotional value' to your live show?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Read more>>>>

Girl Talk

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Girl Talk is a laptop DJ who got big in the bloghouse era but really just produces generic, well-branded mix tapes.

Read more>>>>

I crowdsurfed on a dolphin, riding chillwaves 2 Coachella heaven.

Photos via Brooklyn Vegan

Searching 4 a relevant and authentic festival experience.
I don't care about being VIP.
I care abt being 1 with the masses
Surfing on waves

Ovr the crowd
~~~~~CHILLWAVES~~~~

I mounted a free spirited festival dolphin
And rode the crowd
feeling the hands not on my body
but on that kind dolphin

We rode and rode
I taught him tricks
He did flips and other cool shit like that
Sorta like a chill ass dolphin or seal or killer whale at Sea World

I felt so alive
In that moment
on my dolphin
Riding above the crowd at Coachella

I truly felt as though I had 'won' Coachella

Everything was dolphiny
and nothing hurt

~~~~WAVE WAVES~~~~~

Nothing beautiful lasts forever
An unchill non-buzzworthy band went on stage
Harshing the vibes
and my dolphin
began to melt
He began to hurt
Like a racehorse on its last legs

Goodnite, my dolphin friend
I know that our last moments together
were beautiful
and meaningful

I'll never be as alive I was
when I rode that festival dolphin
Riding those crowdwaves
Until we both died 2gthr

"This is a part of my dolphin that Ur never gonna ever gonna take away from me."
-Katy Perry, sidestage, M83 Coachella

Goodnite, Cruel Dolphin World.

~~~~~~DOLPHIN WAVES~~~~~~
R u gonna crowdsurf on a dolphin at a relevant music festival?
Are dolphins the best animals 2 ride chillwaves on?
R u in2 riding crowdwaves?

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

Some DJ tries 2 crowdsurf, falls off the stage in pain & misery [via EPIC DJ FAIL]

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Crowdsurfing is the ultimate trust exercise. Before you leap, you must analyze a series of variables that ensure your safety. Is the crowd 'dense' enough? Are there enough bros in the crowd 2 handle your weight? Are the security bros ready 2 save ur life when people start to rip ur clothes off? How will u get back 2 the stage? Do u have an inflatable raft 2 carry u back home [via Steve Aoki]?

Check out this DJ bro, trying to get the crowd 'totally jacked', doing his best to surf on the hands of his fans.

He totally effed up, falling down right before liftoff. Felt scared 4 him as he fell down into 'the gap' between the stage and the crowd. Reports say that it is 'DJ Autoerotique.' Honestly, I have never heard of the bro, but at least this meme can make him moderately famesies. Sorta wish it was in HD so that I could watch him fall over and over again in high definition

This is apparently what they look like.

Do u feel bad 4 the bro?
Is this one of the most embarrassing things that could happen 2 a relevant DJ?
Was this an 'EPIC FAIL'?
Have u heard of these bros?
Have u ever witnessed a failed crowdsurfing moment in person?
What do u have 2 watch out 4 b4 u attempt a crowdsurf?
Did u LOL at this electro bro?

Alice Glass crowdsurfs at Lollapalooza. Be careful, bb!


Alice BB! Look at all of those ppl who ur playing to at Lollapalooza. I know it is kinda a mainstream lamestream Midwestern bro festival, but it seems like ur really 'making it', taking indie 2 the mainstreamers. Ur BANGIN BOD appeals 2 every1, and the spirit of ur bleep bloop music can win over any1 in the world. As these fans of indielectro grab ur butt, never forget where u came from. I was actually at the first show that u crowdsurfed at, 1 of the first ppl to hold ur body up, then u punched me in the face and broke a bottle over my head. I come from a broken home, so u really made me feel comfy....

Do yall remember when CC was just an 'up and coming' 'electro' 'project'?
Does it look like they have 'made it'?
Does Alice Glass look keut in her lil purple skirt?
Would u do anything 2 'have a grab'?
Photos via SPIN

Be careful, Alice BB!

Oh Alice...
Did u go 2 Lollypally?
Who did yall see?
Was CC the 'alt-est' band at 'Lolla'?

Sleigh Bells hottie Alexis Krauss crowdsurfs, shows off her BANGIN bod


Oh Sexi Lexi...
I might finally forgive u
for tainting the legacy of Michael Jordan's #23 jersey
U crushed it at Bonnyroo, bb!

Even though I don't really listen 2 ur music
bc it sounds like my speakers are totally effed
I still respect u...
as a beautiful, Grade a piece of premium A-list female indie celeb a$$
Zooey Dee who? #TeamSexiLexi

BB.... I never knew
ur bod was so banging....

Be careful when u crowdsurf, bb!
Tons of hornie altbros
looking to 'have a grab'
Stick a finger where the sun doesn't shine

There are downsides 2 looking good, bb!
But at the end of the day,
U look good, bb!
And in the end, looking good is all that matters, bb!

Do u <3 Alexis Krauss?
Is she the #1 female in indie?
Will Sleigh Bells' next album chart at #1?
Will it reach the 9.0 zone, or will it be a 7.0 album that helps them 2 go mainstream?
Do u have a crush on Sexi Lexi?

Alexis Krauss

Alternative Celebrity

Alexis Krauss is the lead singer of Sleigh Bells. She has a Virgin Mary Tattoo.

Lists: tattooed, QTs, bangs
Read more>>>>

Sleigh Bells

Buzzband

Sleigh Bells is a 2k10 buzzband that doesn't really make 'good' mp3s, but still gets a lot of buzz and sells a lot of albums.

Read more>>>>

NSFW: Jared Leto crowdsurfs towards women who are flashing their titties @ him

Photos by thecobrasnake

Fan: Jared! We love u! Look at my breasteses! They are just 4 u!

Jared Leto: I'm coming 4 u. U r a true fan. Ur breasts are wonderful. U inspire me to make great art.

Fan: :::SHARTED MY PANTS:::: Jared Leto is the most alternative man alive. Blarg. I'm in heaven!

Jared Leto [via telepathy]: I love your soul. We are a mere 30 Seconds From Mars.

**** END SCENE *******

Do yall <3 Jared Leto?
Would u show him ur perfect alternative breasts?
Do u wish u could be Jared Leto and get to see breasts on the reg?
Does Jared Leto's alt-ness inspire women 2 'take off their tops'?

Jared Leto

Actor, Buzzband

Jared Leto is an alternative actor, and the lead singer of the band 30 Seconds to Mars.

Read more>>>>

VIDEO: Ariel Pink crowdsurfs, unruly fans pull down his pants 2 see his firm lil ass

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Ariel Pink was recently playing a show in Houston, TX, and he decided to do some rowdy ass crowd surfing, and he was vibing out, riding fans, getting tossed around, but then fans got all crazy and were tugging everywhere, yanking to and fro, and he was all like "nooo put me down" but they were crazy just like when the Beatles came to America so the music was loud and fans were just like 'hell no, we are not putting u down' but Ariel was like 'plz, I'm just wearing a flower print shirt' and the fans were like 'ur soo sexie Ariel' and he was like 'listen, I feel really comfortable, plz put me down' but the crowd would not stop partying to his lofi fuzz james and things were so out of hand so then they got really aggressive, started ripping his clothes, and fans eventually tried to pull his pants down, and Ariel was like 'aw hell naw' and rolled on to the stage and escaped from the mosh pit, but it was too late because they already fondled his peen and some1 with a youtube video camera got a shot of his nice, firm lil ass and was like "See u on youtube, Ariel!"

Do u think Ariel has a nice ass?

Should fans 'chill out' when indie rock gods are crowdsurfing?
Was it unchill 4 fans to pull down his pants, or does Ariel need 2 go buy a belt?
Is it only cool to try to fingerbang a is crowdsurfing artist when they are a female?
Do yall have a lot of respect for Alice Glass because she really 'covers up her goodies' before she goes in2 the crowd?
Does crowdsurfing at Ariel Pink shows mean that he has 'made it'?
Has Ariel Pink ever crowdsurfed on u, and have u fondled his junk?
If u could fondle a crowdsurfing male indie celeb, who would it be?
Ezra Koenig? Twin Shadbro? The dude from Crystal Castles? Chaz Bundick? Ernie Greene?
R u worried abt Ariel's safety?
Does Ariel have the best a$$ in indie music?

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Read more>>>>

Jared Leto thinks he is God, walks on crowd instead of surfing on them


I'm Jared Fucking Leto
and I'm a fucking alt G-d
Eff h8rs
Eff lamestreamers

So many cheesy ass rock stars 'crowd surf'
When I go out on a crowd,
I walk all over those bitches
cuz I own them & they worship me

While normal buzzbands can only 'crowdsurf', Jared Leto parts the seas or, opts to walk on crowds [via walking on water]

They reach to grab me
like I cure cancer when u touch me

Even sometimes do a metaphorical 'crucifixion'
just to prove that I would die/rock 4 ur sins

This is my biological brother
He's my drummer (He's alt, too)

This is my congregation
I am a community leader
I inspire kids all across the world
I understand their problems and offer them hope [via alt rock music]

I'm Jared Leto
and I'm an Alt God

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Srsly though.
Only God could be captured with a digital camera
in a picture like this 1

Really feel like I am the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars
Turn water in2 wine
Solve global conflict
promote peace and chillity
and cure kids who can't walk [via Forrest Gump]

Is Jared Leto the ultimate alt God?
Is there nothing that Jared Leto can't do?
When u were going thru difficult alternative times in ur life, was it Jared Leto who was carrying u? [via footprints]
Do u believe in JarBro?

GRAPHIC NSFW PHOTO: Some girl crowdsurfs, gets her bikini top 'violently ripped off'


Look at urself
Take a good look at urself
U look so goddamn proud
To float above all of these bros
Getting ur top pulled off
exposing ur breasts

Shame on u
Where did u learn how to behave like this?
Alice Glass?
Was it that Crystal Castles
and their devil whore possessed music?

Do u think it is 'kewl' to crowdsurf
Let men grab u everywhere
Rip off ur top
slip fingers into ur vajenga
Squeeze ur nipples as if u have cow udders
and they are trying 2 pasteurize ur shit

Women and men
should be segregated at rock n roll concerts
So that no more women are 'violated' as they crowdsurf

Listen, I'm a chill bro
and I love a good set of titties
but I can't say that all men treat ladies + their bodies with the <3 and respect
that they deserve

Shame on every1 in this picture
The crowdsurfer
the bros tossing her
the band for 'not stopping'
Even these breasts are 'tainted'

I am on a global search for the perfect alternative breasts
but I guarantee u
the breasts won't be violently uncovered
against a woman's will

Friends don't let women crowdsurf
No matter how 'amazing' the music is
Shame on u
Shame on u

Should women be 'banned' from crowdsurfing unless it is at an all-female event?
Is it always 'worth it' 2 see breasts?
Is it too dangerous for women 2 crowdsurt?
HAve u ever violated a female as she crowdsurfed, yanking off her clothes, and groping her goodies?
Do u think these are the perfect alternative breasts?

NSFW: Photographer captures Alice Glass upskirt while she crowdsurfs


Alice Glass is known for her wild on-stage antics. Drinking entire bottles of Jack Daniels on stage. Beating people in the crowds with microphones. Crowdsurfing, and letting seas of altbros have 'grabfests' with her entire body. It seems like Alice Glass has added another upskirt-opportunity to her massive collection of concert photography memes.

UNEDITED POTENTIALLY NSFW IMAGE:

Shit. Guess she wore leggings + panties /some sort of protective underwear/diaper/maxi pad.

Gotta give my girl Alice props 4 crowdsurfing with the right amount of protection + coverage. I usually have a 'Women Shouldn't Crowdsurf' attitude on the live indie experience, but maybe I am underestimating Alice's preparedness. If she was a mainstream celeb, she probably would have crowd surfed without any panties on, get 'fingerbanged' then started crying/stopping the show.

Alice is different. She goes out there every night and gives 110%, minimizing her chances of 'getting hurt/violated.' Do u think Alice is 'truly lost in the music' or is she just a 'contrived indie star' who knows what she has to deliver for her fans?

Should more female indie singer crowdsurf?
Do u want to see Best Coast crowdsurf, or do u think WAVVES would be pissed abt that?
Do u think Alice Glass is the #1 female in indie music?
Are yall on #TeamAlice or #TeamRegine?
Would Win ever be chill enough to let Regine Crowdsurf?
Do altbros ever try to 'stick a finger' inside of a crowdsurfing woman [via grabfest 2k10]?
Do yall think club security should ban females from 'crowdsurfing'?

Alice Glass continues to get groped while crowdsurfing, drinks entire ‘bottle of Jack’ on stage

Photos by thecobrasnake

Hi Alice
How r u?
Saw u live again
Ur up 2 the same old tricks

Honestly, all I can say is
"Loves it"
but at the same time,
feeling mad worried

R u okay on the inside?
Is there something we need to talk about?
I usually can't understand what ur saying when u sing
I like it, but I want to understand u

Plz 'put the bottle down', Alice
Unidentified stains on ur tshirt

U don't need alcohol 2 escape
U need something
2 change ur life
4evr

Ur surfing away
on a crowd of hornie altbros trying 2 grope u
tweens trying 2 feel u
Photographers trying to turn u into an internet meme

Sail away, Alice
free urself
from the pain
I hope 1 day u make ur way 2 me

Maybe we can be...
together

Ur turning in2 a ghost

This is not a vintage photograph
This is u fading away

Meet me in between the shadows
Somewhere between buzzband 10.0 heaven
and buzzband hell

R u there Alice?
It's me, ur fan since 2k3

Alice Glass is “aggressively groped” by altbros as she crowdsurfs, drinks entire bottle of Jack on stage


Alice Glass is the lead singer of the popular 8-bit harsh wave bleepy bloop band Crystal Castles. It seems like they recently had a show, and Alice Glass, the prolific lead singer went 'wild n out.'

Honestly feeling 'super turned-on' by Alice Glass's on-stage antics. Like if I could be a rock journalist, I would try to pitch an article about how 'rock n roll is back' and how Alice Glass is the embodiment of the modern spirit of rock n roll.

Where'd u get that bottle of Jack Daniels, Alice? What else did u request from the venue? A couple of CLIF Bars and Kashi crackers?

(Is Jack Daniels more alt than Grey Goose [via Steve Aoki]?)

Alice. R u rlly gonna drink that whole bottle? Worried abt ur liver.

Maybe she is trying 2 be more like Ke$ha [via 'brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack]

Looks like some sort of rain machine/ water hose / wet t-shirt contest technology was used during their live show.

Wish I coulda been there, having a grab, traveling back in time to the bloghouse era. Feeling 'reborn' with every clasp of a butt cheek/breast. Are those 'protective leggings' or just some goth-wave legs?

Feel like u haven't lived til u've witnessed an entire Crystal Castles concert 'in the pit', and seen Alice Glass drink herself to death while screaming into the microphone. Feel like I really connect with her when she ends up in her classic "Alice Glass fetal position."

When she ends up in the fetal position, it kinda reminds us that life = death. We are all kinda still just vulnerable infants, waiting to open our eyes, hoping to 1 day 'vibe out' 2 enlightenment. Just a scared sad buzzband singer on stage afraid of the world [via effed up on whiskey].

Have u ever seen Alice Glass 'live'?
Is Crystal Castles the best live band in indie music?
Does Alice Glass still turn u on?
R u worried that she might have some sort of deep-seeded psychological issues, or are her 'on-stage meltdowns' just an act?
Is she setting a bad example for Crystal Castles' tween fans, or is she totes rock n roll?
Did Crystal Castles come out with an album in 2k10? Get my years mixed up.

Lady Gaga crowdsurfs topless at Lollapalooza, tons of tweens and bros grab her all over

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It seems like Lady Gaga 'headlined' Lollapalooza, and played for a lot of people. Heard her set cost $250K to construct. I'll bet the Arcade Fire sorta wishes she just gave that money 2 Haiti, and played an acoustic set.

N e ways, looks like Lady Gaga was wearing fishnets and tape over her nipples, and threw herself into a music festival crowd. Seems 'mad dangerous', like u might get raped. Maybe she was trying to re-enact Shark Week, except with hornie festival bros [via human 'chum'].

Sorta wonder if she is really vibing out to this band's music, or if she just wanted to create a 'meme.' Maybe she gets off 2 having tons of bros grab her all over.

Feel like maybe she shoulda worn something more 'protective', like an inflatable raft, or something.

Female woman dressed half naked crowdsurfing. Is this what it means to ride slutwaves?

The name of the band is apparently 'Semi Precious Weapons.' Googled them. They sound 'terrible.' Think they are just one of those alt rock bands with a 'flaming gay' lead singer who might appeal to misguided tweens who are searching for their sexuality.

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How many digi cam bros can u see? Do u think they are just trying to capture content that makes them 'go viral' or are they just hornie, trying to take some pix of nudes?

Did Lady Gaga produce 'the meme' of the festival?
Did she 'win' Lollapalooza?
Did she put the security team at risk, creating a hazardous situation?
Is she 'totally rock n roll'? Do u 'loves it'?
Should she 'put on some effing clothes?
Is Lady Gaga 'the greatest artist' / 'greatest meme generator' on the planet, or is Kanye West still #1?
Should Kanye West take out his peen and pee on a crowd to 'top' Lady Gaga?

Lady Gaga

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Lady Gaga is the #1 modern slutwave artist of all time who tries 2 be all 'artsy' and mainstream ppl think she is 'interesting.'

Read more>>>>
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