crust kids | Hipster Runoff

crust kids

Are Crusties the most authentic alts in the world?


Sometimes it is important 2 remember that there are alts out there
Who don't care abt material things
Like srsly don't care abt material things 4 realsies, though
And don't take baths
and don't ride cars
and don't make money
and look sorta homeless

The crust kids of the Earth
The crusty kids of society
The crusties
They don't really know what alt relevancy is
but at the same time
they don't want 'relevancy'

I am
The Crust Kid

I am a human
Hunting and gathering for food
Whether it is [via freeganism]
Or [via just plain dumpster diving behind a Dominos-ism]

While we both live in the same world
I see a world
completely different than the 1 u r trapped in
You think 'being alt' means reading the internet every day
I don't know what 'alt' even is, I am just me
U get in ur car every day, but I have constructed a sillie bike to ride around town

In fact, I am part of a community of other ppl
who build zany bikes
and we ride our zany bikes around in MadMaxian packs

This is our Battlefield Earth // We are the crust kids

When a crust kid walks into your favourite coffee shop
and sits next 2 u
U feel insecure
and u wonder 'is that person more alt than me?"
"They are reading a book, they aren't on a laptop"
"They probably don't even have a twitter"
"It kinda smells"
"I wonder if they are homeless or alt"
The Crust Kids don't care abt ur mainstream or altstream judgment

What's ur name?
Why r u crusty?
I can save u.

Why don't u want 2 be like most girls I know?
I'd take u on a $2000 Urby Outfitters + Am Appy shopping spree
But u don't want to wear those clothes
U would rather spend that money on other goods and services
that would make ur life more meaningful

U have a dog
Who has the same diet as u
[via living off the land]

I don't 'get' it
because I wouldn't want my dog eating
Taco Bell, Panera Bread, Chili's and other chain restaurants.
But I respect it. Ur lifestyle.

The children of the crust alts
confuse me
Because I am so 'consumer alt'
Connected 2 my Macbook

Maybe the crust kids are 'truly living'...

I see a house that burned down
U see ur dream home

I see some sort of weird grave / pile of crap
U see ur dream home

I see 'an underpass'
and u see 'an underground crust kid festival'

For all I know
Crust kids are not homosexual or heterosexual
They are pansexual, omnisexual, metasexual, and pre-trans-sexual

Crust kids
have dread locks
but not because their fave band is Incubus
They just haven't been by the river lately 2 take a bath

We are the crusties
The Crustwave kids
U see us
And u don't 'get' us

We see mainstream consumer alts who 'love indie music'
and we don't 'get' u
We don't get U
hidden behind ur Macbook
Overpaying for 'vintage thrift' clothes
When u could just steal them

U collect things
While we live off the land

We srsly purchase PBR
because it is 'mad cheap'
Sometimes we just chill on rubbing alcohol
Just wanna get effed up

We're the crust kids
Next time u see us
Stop by and say hi
Don't be afraid

Don't mind the crust on my skin
the dirt in my hair
The stank of my scent
The plaque on my teeth

I never want 2 be like u
U think ur so alt
but ur so trapped
Have fun in the blogosphere
I'm gonna go ride my bike
Pick up some free pizza
Have unprotected sex in a public park
Hop on a train and search for another network of crusties in a different city
and wake up 2morrow and do it all over again

************

Do yall ever see crust kids?
R u scared of crusties?
Are 'ppl who read Vice' just 'wannabe crusties'?
Who will be the next crustwave indie alt band?
Do they 'stink' / have nothing 2 contribute 2 modern society?
What do they want out of life?
Why don't they see 'alt' the same way we see it?
Are they 'more alt' than 'indie internet alts who shop at retail stores on the internet'?
Is being a 'consumer alt' cowardly? Or are we just trying to 'leave a mark' on the world/the arts and crusties have 'given up'?
Do u think that u could 'live off the land' and search for food in dumpsters?
Have yall ever eaten anything out of a dumpster, or do u prefer 'paying for service' [via the modern dining experience]?
Is pizza the only thing that all humans share as a common interest?

Plz use the comments section 2 share ur personal stories abt interactions with crust kids. Are they 'chill' or do they 'kill the vibe'? [via lack of depth + self-awareness]

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