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Bon Iver's Justin Vernon apologizes 2 Carles. Has he won the first battle against the Corrupt Indie Machine? (3 comments) |
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NYTimes calls Lana Del Rey 'a skinnier Adele'. Do they h8 fatties? (5 comments) |
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LANAMANIA hits Los Angeles, frenzied fans begin sobbing in Lana Del Rey's presence (36 comments) |
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Madonna says M.I.A. ruined her show, is 'a stupid teenager' (3 comments) |
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Alexis Krauss shows off her BANGIN BOD in GQ Magazine. She truly is 'Sexi Lexi.' (17 comments) |
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I Am Carles Returns with LIMITED EDISH VALENTINE'S DAY shirt. (11 comments) |
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Bon Iver sounds like dying indie rock on SNL, has mysterious HUGE black teenager in backing band (30 comments) |
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Pitchfork cyberbullies & slutshames Best Coast, calls her an 'inauthentic two-timing sell out panderer' (13 comments) |
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Tyler the Creator spotted bronoodling with 'this nigga' Kanye West. Are Big Thangs Poppin? (10 comments) |
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Lana Del Rey sells MAD albums, is officially RICH, FAMOUS, and SUCCESSFUL (12 comments) |
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GRAPHIC PHOTO: Cults lead singer Brian Oblivion suffers severe 3rd degree burns to face (4 comments) |
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Introducing PRAYER WATCH 2K12 A CandleLight Vigil 4 Carles #pray4carles (24 comments) |
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"BUZZ BANDS" was a category on Jeopardy. Have BUZZ BANDS crossed over 2 the mnstrm? (14 comments) |
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Was M.I.A.'s Super Bowl flip off the first shameless slutwave marketing act in the post-LDR era? (27 comments) |
I was recently at a Crystal Castles concert, and I noticed the lead singer Alice Glass in an 'Alice in Wonderland' costume. It was a strategic move, since her name is 'Alice' and the kidz movie's main character is also named 'Alice.' It seems like a live show can be limiting. Ur only going to be performing for about 50-350 'fans.' It seems like u should do something that 'gets u attention on the internet from a blogsite that has thousands of daily visitors.' This way u can enhance ur macrobrand instead of just portraying with a meaningful microbrand with a 1and done show.
'Making a meme' out of a concert seems like something all indie bands must do to 'get covered.' Whether it is 'costumes', 'confetti', or 'inviting a member of another relevant indie band out on to stage to pretend to play guitar with your band', it is important to 'get the internet buzzing' abt ur live show. This will make them want to attend ur show when you go to their local scene because they will be 'afraid of missing something.' This seems like a good strategy for bands that are not worthy of 'being relevant.'
For example, Of Montreal has never really been a 'good band', but since their live shows are 's000 zany', ppl really like 2 see them. Here is a picture of an Of Montreal show where they execute women while they are wearing sillie costumes. The photo makes u wanna be there so you can see some1 'take her last breath of life.'
Crystal Castles is kinda in the same boat as Of Montreal. I am not sure if they will ever release more music, but I think their brand is 'so established' it won't matter 'how good/bad' their music is. They will realistically never release an album that is 'critically acclaimed' or 'says something meaningful that tons of ppl can relate to', so all they will do for the rest of their lifespan is 'chill & try 2 keep their brand alive.'
Scarie. Seems like a chill meme, though. 'Worth blogging about', potentially.
Do yall know if 'Alice in WoNdErLaNd' is an authentic cartoon film? Seems like it was never that interesting, except ppl who 'do drugs' like to pretend that it is 'fucking awesome.' I prefer the Pixar films cuz they appeal 2 me as an adult, but still entertain my kidz.
Worried that Chrystie Castles are going to start appealing to stoner/druggie bros who now listen to Jam Bands.
Worried that she is trying to look like she is a 'drug dependent person.'
I hope that even if Chrystine Castles is going through an 'experimental phase', it makes their music better. I am worried that it might sound like distorted electro garbage if they 'drop 2 much acid.'
Sad that everything is about drug culture. Wish music and drugs had nothing to do with eachother so that Incubus never would have acquired a fan base.
what's ur fave band with a fan base of ppl who 'do a shitload of drugs'?
do u think they do drugs bc the music would be shitty without drugs?
Or do drugs open up ur mind and enable u to think in ways that straight edge ppl could never dream of?
Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.
Read more>>>>
I have heard mixed reviews of the live Crystal Castles experience. Many tweens have found the concert to be 'fucking amazing', but older people and electro purists think that the set is 'fucking garbage.' Many times, the band plays sets that are 15-30 minutes long [unverified statement]. The band is apparently is really 'moody' and 'difficult to work with' [via internet rumors from miscellaneous people who 'know important people']. It is basically just 'flashing lights', 'pre-recored electro beats', and 'Alice Glass yelling into a microphone.' [unverified statement] Sometimes they also 'get in fights with fans' and other edgy, bloggable stuff like that.
I am interested in this new era of the Crystal Castles. I thought that they were just going to be 'irrelevant' for 1.2 more years, then 'release an overhyped+overblogged' followup album that altNewsOutlets covered more bc of 'familiarity', and less bc of 'artistic merit.' But now it seems like they might be interested in becoming 'the best Canadian band since the Arcade Social Fire Scene.'
All artists are trying to 'be authentic' and 'provide an inimitable live experience', and many bands achieve this by displaying their musicianship. I think 'playing live' might be a good idea for the Chrystie Cashes. Think all bands are ultimately trying to 'look cool' by looking like a male rocknroll band. 'Playing guitar' makes consumers feel comfortable watching ur band play. They don't want to see bandmembers 'hunched over a laptop' or even just 'playing tambourine'. A live audience needs to be 'captivated' by ur performance, and enable the much-blogged-about phenomenon of 'word of mouth' advertising to take place [via twitter].
I am interested to see them on tour, and see if Alice can play some mad 'riffs' on the guitar. If CC comes out to your area, let me know how 'the Alice on Guitar' experiment works out.
Yall. Started 2 watch South Park. Need 2 catch up on a lot of episodes.
Helps me 2 formulate my opinion on modern issues and a lot of pop cultural issues.
Not sure who I should like the most/find the funniest. Feel 'jealous' of South Park for being 'so mainstream' but also 'being cutting edge.' Not sure if I should 'respect it', 'go out of my way 2 h8 it', or 'pretend I don't watch it.'
Who is an authentic celebrity interpretation?
Bono?
The Jonas Brothers?
Tay Zonday + numerous internet memes?
Jennifer Lopez? [via Mexi humor]
Barry Obama?
Tom Cruise?
Crystal Castles? [via Canadian humor]
Kanye West being a 'fggt fish.'
Do yall think that South Park is more authentic than Family Guy, or The Simpsons, or are they the kind of people who just 'make fun of shit' but 'don't make the world better'?
Sometimes I feel like South Park is 'funnie' and that I am the only bro who 'gets it' like it is supposed 2 be 'gotten.' But then I get sad because 'every1 likes South Park and I feel like less of an individual who likes progressive comedy. Wish I lived in the mid90s, back when there wasn't a high demand for 'progressive comedy' and not every1 consumed it and made it a part of their personality.
Kinda feel _______ about a show that has 'become popular' but still 'being progressive' and 'attempting 2 maintain a cutting edge tone' with the 'mass audience that they have garnered.'
Just wanna go 'adult swimming', and laugh at progressive comedy, dreaming about how 'I am random and smart...maybe 1 day I can write this stuff... Might start a pop culture blog instead with political opinions.'
kinda bored. decided 2 make a random video. put my mom's black panty hose over my face and make it seem 'more conceptual.' I decided to pick a poppy, upbeat song by the Crystal Castles that would make it EZ 2 dance 2. I'm a pretty artistic bro, so I just wanted a nontraditional song that would allow me to showcase innovative dance moves that u usually can't execute at a local dance club without 'pissing off' bros who are just there to 'grind on bitches.'
Wish more ppl would realize that dancing is actually an art. It's not just a drunken display of 'expressing urself.' I miss 2k7. Back then, it seemed like more ppl let themselves d.a.n.c.e. :-(
"People Don't Dance No More." -the Raptures
I came up with an original poem
"dance like no1 is watching
love like u've never been hurt
sing like no1 is listening
live like itz heaven on Earth"
Just want 2 dance like no1 is watching
but record it on my Macbook
then upload it to youtube
and let ppl watch it
guess i knew they were watching the whole time
even tho they weren't rlly there
Actually just designed a tshirt which I will market to 'Christians' and miscellaneous 'generic white people.'
"Blog like no1 is reading." -Carles, 2009
srsly tho.. do yall think that 'dancing' will 'come back', or has it been dead+inauthentic since the disco implosion?
[via pedestrian.tv]
Yall, I just saw this amazing new transport vehicle. Was thinking about trading in my lime green VW bug for it, but then I realized that it is a car created by the popular web band CRYSTAL CASTLES. I remember when I posted a picture of Trapped in SuburbiaBro wearing a CRYSTAL CASTLES FAN CLUB branded shirt. Kinda like their logo. glad they are 'branching out' to be more than just musicians.
I think seems more progressive than a Smart Car, and probably saves more energy. Not sure if it has solar panels on it, or if it comes with USB ports, but still might be nice to have as a 'weekend car.'
I read on a Wall Street Blog Journal that the Auto Industry is 'in the shitter' because they don't have enough solar cars and because fossil fuels aren't being turned into car gas any more because the Arabs 'got greedy' after the religiously charged attacks on America in the early 2000s. Think it's kinda risky that the Crystal Castles, LLC is headed into the auto industry, but maybe they are going to try to get a bailout if they prove that they can revolutionize the industry?
Will u buy 1 of their transport, all-terrain vehicles? Or would u rather buy a different 1?
Interested to see if 'hybrid cars' actually work out, or if we will all just end up walking and/or riding fixed gear bikes.
Whenever I see a smart car
I think about being an ass hole who drives one
and then getting in a routine car accident
where I accidentally die
because I drive 'a lil cartoon fggt car'
just because I wanted 2 'save the environment'
and had the expendable income to 'prove that I care'
I was recently browsing youtube, searching for live performances of all of my favourite bands, and I stumbledupon this video entitled "ALICE GLASS BEATS IDIOT OVER HEAD WITH MICROPHONE." I watched it 2 find out what was happening.
At the 1:25 mark, I noticed that the music stopped, and lead singer of Crystal Castles--Alice Glass--did something very violent. She slung her microphone back, and then wound up, and then hit some bro. U can hear a thud, which was probably an altbro skull being crushed by a microphone. Then she called him a 'fucker' and hit him a few more times.
Kinda sad that one of my favourite altcelebs of the Blog House era resorted to hitting a bro with a microphone. Makes me kinda sad, but then u start 2 think, what did the altbro do to get beat+kicked out by a bouncer?
In the past, I have made several posts about ppl 'having a grab' at females when they fly into the crowd.
One Post is entitled "Alice Glass Upskirt Grab"
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/alice-glass-upskirt-grab.html
Another post features a tweenAltBro with braces drooling over having his face in Alice Glass's Business
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/i-dr00l-over-alice-glass.html
And here is some other Female Crowdsurfing Theory inspired by Uffie
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/grabfest-2k8.html
Hope people didn't get the wrong message from these posts. It's not okay to 'grab' female altcelebs, yall. U wouldn't grab a female accountant while she was accounting, would u? She's just doing her job. Hopefully venues don't make us start signing waivers b4 we go in to keep us from violating members of bands.
I'm kinda worried. I feel like this act might have happened because the BlogHouse bubble is bursting. A lot of altcelebs are feeling a lot of stress ever since the latest AnCo album came out, and sort of made electro/bloghouse seem obsolote+trivial.
Let's take some time to remember Alice Glass from her glory days with an old tribute video.
Do yall know if this is the pic of the person who Alice Glass beat up?
Do yall agree with violence?
Or whenever an act of violence occurs, is some1 'asking for it'?
How far is 2 far, yall?
Should the other member of Crystal Castles have stood up 4 her?
Should we all have to take Anger MGMT classes?
Are 'acts of violence' just viral marketing techniques?
[Photo by The Friend Attack]
Tonight, an alternative celebrity will give me life [via pouring vodka into my mouf while I am at the front of a meaningful DJ set]. I am used to a sillie AZN man doing this, but this time it will 'mean a little bit more' since it will be done by one of my fave altcelebs of yester-year.
While Alice Glass pours vodka into my mouf, I will think about the future of bloghouse/electro. While I 'was really into her' last year, I am not sure who I am right now. I am not sure who I should find attractive. I am not sure what music presently 'defines' me or if I am still attending DJ-centric events because I am afraid of the future/having to build a new personal brand.
Will this weekend be the last weekend that I listen 2 bloghouse?
Will I reset my iPod, erasing the former version of me, moving into the future by only loading conceptcore music on my iPod?
Am I too attached to my personal brand to 'move forward' in my quest for authenticity?
I will not sleep tonight.
I will stay awake, trying 2 dream of 'a better place.'
LAST NIGHT
A DJ
ENDED MY LIFE
Whenever an Alternative Artist is on the Cover of a Mainstream Magazine, I quietly say to myself, "We Finally Did It. We have arrived. The mainstreamers are starting to understand why we listen to better music than them. I have a dream that one day, blogs will be the radio stations of the world, and Pitchfork will be the iTunes of the world, and minidisc players will be the iPods of the world."
Part of me gets a lil bit upset that the mainstreamers are finding out about what I listened to 2+ years ago, but then I realize that I need to 'be the bigger person' and let them enjoy.
Did yall see Mathangi Arulpragasam on the cover of SPIN? (I call M.I.A. by her real name 2 sound more authentic.)
Remember when the Management was on the cover of SPIN?
Remember when hipsters were on the cover of BPM?
Remember when a Cool Dad made the cover of Us Weekly?
I was really proud when Crystal Castles were on the cover of NME.
"we are using sounds that no 1 else can get." -Crystal Castles
I remember when Britney Spears' sister sharted out a baby and landed on a magazine cover.
It was a big deal when some one as alt as Dustin Hoffman went mainstream and starred in "Hook."
I was proud of Thom Yorkee for being on the cover of AZN magazine.
It was also a big deal when I was TIME's person of the year just cuz I built a myspace profile. I showed my parents so they'd get off my back and let me chill on the myspace.
I kinda hope YALL are the Persons of the Year in 2k8.
(I am not proud of alt celebs when they r on the cover of altMagazines that I am not alt enough to recognize).
How do u feel when u see some1 on a magazine cover?
Is it a meme that u should be proud of and connect with?
Do u have 'pride' for 'being into' an artist/public figure before they were 'recognized by a magazine'?
Would u be honored m0re to be in a magazine, or be blggd abt at ur fave blog?
Which 1 means more in the current meme economy climate?
//// am I just a meme?
//// RAGE AGAINST THE MEME.
Yall, I was watching this new Crystal Castles video
but then it turned out 2 be a Toshiba commercial trying to get me to buy a new computer screen for my Macbook Lappy.
Reminds me of the time that I thought I was watching an 'authentic viral video' but it ended up being a popular scene from the alt-gone-mainstream indie comedy 'Napoleon Dynamite: the Story of a Zany Bro with a Mexi bff.'
h8 it when I am misled when I thought I was watching something authentic.
Just wanted to hear some Crystal Castles/Alice Glass vocals/deep samples, and see a well-executed video. One time I read in a magazine that 'advertising' is the 'master art.' These days, I kinda wonder if blogging is the 'master art.'
(For those of yall who don't know, the 'master art' is a term 4 the most authentic way for a human 2 express himself/humanity. Some people say it's politics. Others say science. Some say it's organic farming. I think it has something 2 do with the internet/HTML/web 2.0).
Maybe Crystal Castles = the 'master art'
Wonder what Crystal Castles bought with their royalties?
a) new hoodies
b) ice cream headz (different flavours)
c) new laptops
d) renewed their photoshop license
e) a lil bit of eye makeup
f) leggings with holes in them
g) indoor soccer shoes
h) an AZN
i) Choose.Your.Own.Response
///Just//searching//4//the//'master art'/////
s000 tired of Halloween. It's like I've been blggng abt it 4 the past blog-decade. Just wanted 2 find authentic costumes.
not even sure if i'll dress up nxt year. this year took a lot out of me. Not evn sure who I am n e m0re. sux. kinda let down. nite didn't go as I had planned/envision. h8 it when things fall thru.
The Justices
Girl With a 3rd Nipple on her back
FGGT Indian from the Village People
S0 FUCKING DISC0 BR0
AltWayne and AltGarth
HeartsRevolution PaintedMask Ninja Turtle
JokerAltMainstreamer Pack
////KEEP READING///
////FOR MORE GREAT////
////HALLOWEEN KOSTUMES!////
Should I be an ice cream head? Might be an ice cream sandwich to represent racial unity.
Should I be 'Spooky' Justice
Should I be 'the whistling song' about Young Folks? (this is a boy+girl costume if ur in an altCouple)
I guess I should trade in my WII/Super Nintendo/Sega Saturn/GameBoy for an XBOXZune360 thingy. Hopefully it comes preloaded with my favourite bloghaus bands.
"I'd give any thing 2 go back in time to when the world was simultaneously meaningfully listening 2 'Young Folks.' Things back then made a lot of sense. It was alright 2 just be urself."
-some1 who frowns down upon the Electro Era
Does Claudio/Ethan from Crystal Castles have the kutest Man Bangs on Earth?
HRO usually focuses on finding kute bangs on grls, but maybe it's time to start searching for kute manbangs. Alternative men in the post-Emo era sport some of the kutest bangs evr. While swoopy bangs will always be in the spotlight, we can't forget 'spikey bangs', 'bowl-cut bangs' and any other type of innovative bangs that we might discover in the next 100 blog years.
Will 'receding hairline bangswoops' be big in 2k30 when alts grow up?
Remember when Of Montreal used to be the 'Default Festival Lineup Band to Attract People Who Are Unable to Decide for Themselves What Good Music Is.' (MGMT has taken their place.)
Maybe it's just because I grew up when 'boy bands' were big, but I can't help but look at bands as a product that is being sold to me. Whether or not band members have 'genuine personalities' is not always relevant to me. How I perceive a member of a band is up 2 me.
Kind of like how in NSYNC, there was like the 'kute one', the 'fat one with spikey hair', and 'the gay one' and probz a few more--don't remember. It's just funnie how as bands become products, we can't help but evaluate each member as a brand. Consumer subliminally pick their 'favourite one' who they would pretend they would be if they were in the band.
Here are some of our favourite bands, and how the HIPSTER RUNOFF PERSONAL BRAND RANKING SYSTEM ranks them within their own band.
***********************
********RANKINGS*******
WHICH BAND MEMBER HAS THE MOST AUTHENTIC PERSONAL BRAND?
**********************
The Justice League
Alice and the Crystal Castles
Interpols
The Arcade Firing
What do yall think? Is the new computer software that did these images accurate? I used all of my advertising money on it, so I need 2 know if I should return it, or if it does a good job of accurately ranking personal brands within bands. Are any of these rankings incorrect?
<3 <3 Personal Brand Analysis <3 <3
What other bands should get ranked?
Justice is a popular banger house electro group from France on Ed Banger Records.
The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.
Animal Collective is the definitive band of the Era of Internet Indie Music Discovery.
Usually, television sitcoms on major networks are for 'insecure people who feel like they need to be a part of something'/people who should be using their time more effectively to better/worsen themselves. Dedicating yourself to an hour of programming doesn't make your life any better or any worse. You are a better person if you do meth instead of watching "LOST" because you are committed to self-destruction. N
o matter how alt you think a sitcom is, or how progressive the comedy/'mise en scene' of the show is, u r not progressive for consuming it.
Seasons of DVDs are for lame groups of friends who 'like 2 stay in' on the weekends/are the 'sad kind of pot head' if you hang out with them for more than 2 hours.
N e ways...should I buy this DVD to watch with a close group of my mildly overweight girlfriend fag hags/insecure, mildly-alt FGGTS who drink box wine & gorge themselves on unhealthy desserts?
But srsly...how do u feel about 'people who get into tv shows'?
Entourage? The Wire? It's Always Sunnie in Phillie? The Office? 90210 2.0? Gossip Girl?
I feel like if you are a true internetBro, watching TV is a HUGE waste of time. I believe in free will, yall. Freedom 2 control the content/memes that are inserted in2 my brain.
XX BONUS AZN IN A MADONNA T SHIRT XX
"I love Madonna because she has been able to re-invent herself over the course of 3 decades."
XX BONUS OOPSIE--IT'S A CRYSTAL CASTLES T-SHIRT XX
[photos by the cobrasnake]
"I love Crystal Castles because they have been able to re-invent themselves over the course of 3 blog-decades.'
XX BONUS SEMI-TUGGABLE TRANNIES? XX
Trannies really take the art of 'nipple placement' to the next level.
XX BONUS UNRELEASED PICTURE OF A JUSTICE BACKUP DANCER XX
[Photo by GaranceDore]
In order to 'get more 90s authentic', Justice will start utilizing backup dancers. Being a backup dancer has launched the careers of Jennifer Lopez, Feist, and even Cory Kennedy/Agyness Deyn.
XX BONUS AWKWARD VIDEO WHERE PITCHFORK HANGS OUT WITH GIRL TALK AND A FEW OF HIS ARTISTBROS XX
[Video may not be viewable in your RSS reader]
Girl Talk: does he need to get a personal branding manager that will help him take his image to the next level? I feel like he should be 80% more 'douchebaggy' and 60% less 'trying to justify his artistic craft.' He could still try to be 'creatively authentic' and talk about it all the time, but we should have the option of 'not taking him seriously' if we don't want to.
I would prefer it if he was just the usual neon wayfarers, headband/hoodie DBagDJ, instead of utilizing the 'homeless DJ' look. He should probably also experiment with the 'Steve Aoki Dim Mak Shuttershades' model where he wears his own merchandise all of the time, creating a demand for it amongst entry-level alts.
[Photo by GVB Photography]
[HIGHLY RECCD VIDEO]
ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//ALICE GLASS//
"American Woman...stay away from me."
-HRO + Lenny Kravitz duet, 2001
Previous tribute video to Kala "M.I.A." Smith
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/rip-mia-cyoa-ttyl.html
Previous tribute slideshow to Stephen "the flying AZN DJ" Aoki
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/05/it-makes-me-happy-to-know-that-i.html
I was listening 2 Crystal Castles's'z's remix of White Lies song "Death", and I couldn't help but notice how banger-ific it is. I haven't listened to a banger in so long, and I haven't posted a banger since 2k5.5 . It's been a while.
Are pure bangers coming back?
Will Crystle Castals' next album be 100% bangers?
Does Alice Glass know how to use Ableton?
Will Crystel Castels ever top their co-remix with Health? [link to the shittiest HRO post ever when I was a gimmicky hypemachine mp3 blog that had no reason 2 b alive]
Will they ever top their remix of the Little Ones?[MP3]
White Lies Death (Crystal Castles Remix)
Myspacehttp://www.myspace.com/whitelies
http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles
Yoinked from discobrohttp://discodust.blogspot.com/2008/08/crystal-castles-white-lies.html
XX BONUS ALTBRO PORN XX Lately I've been rlly into alt-zombies & snuff-ish films with alt-divas with fishnet over their face.
Hey yall, do yall watch the television show 'The Simpsons'? Oh u did when u were a kid? keut.
N e ways...which 1 of these alt-lectro divas looks better in Simpsons paraphernalia?
Alice "Eat My Shorts" Glass from the band Ally and the Crysty Casties?
[Photo by Max Tollworthy]
or LADYHAWKE?
Are the Simpsons 'alt'? Are they 'retro' or just 'intermediate retro' or are they 'thrift-core'?
Remember when obnoxious people with 'extroverted' personalities tried to tell u that FAMILY GUY was 'the future of comedy', but then they 'grew up a lil' and decided to be into smartComedies like the Office, Judd Apatow films, and full seasons of canceled-but-'friggin-brilliant' comedy series'.
<3 people who have personal brands that = summarizing zany references and events from Fammy Guy and expecting people to find their description to be as 'hee-lare-ee-ous' as watching it, and expect that the group of people will respect him as a source of funnie content <3
I don't have the answer 2 this question, but maybe u do:
What is the alt-est cartoon?
a) Toy Story
b) Wall-E
c) Cool World
d) Beauty and the Alt
e) The Little Mermaid
f) Hipsters in Space
g) this has the potential 2 b the longest multiple choice question ever, but maybe yall should just 'b creative' 4 once and Choose.Your.Own.Response
Do u listen 2 Crystal Castles?
Or do u h8 them?
Or do u find them to be just okay, but don't like to say that u like them because so many mainstreamAlts have merged their personal brands with CC?
[via Quentin's Meaningful Party Pix]
Remember the PISSING CALVIN craze of the late 90s? Mexican Americans would put this logo on the back of their car and make a zany representation of Calvin pissing on something. Those were the days when ur personal brand was only about the car you drove and the funnie bumper sticker/decal on the back of your car.
But srsly yall...is ALICE GLASS hot or not? Can some1 make a HotOrNot.com account to figure this out?
[Photo via RainyDayKidd flickr]
I remember Alice Glass used to always have a 'goth highschool girl with no fashion sense' haircut/personal brand.
In this picture, she looks like she got a makeover that helps her bring out her natural alt beauty. (Natural Alt beauty is easier to attain than mainstream natural beauty.)
Don't yall think she looks like a Bizzarro Agyness now?
Are there any other Alt-Evil Twins?
Which 1 would u be in a relationship with/which1 would u tug off to if you were an entry level alt?
Does getting a little boy haircut automatically make u look like Agyness Deyn?
XX BONUS POSSIBLE ALT EVIL TWIN SET XX
The Teenagers & Justice = AltEvil Twins?
Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.
Read more>>>>
Remember the brace face who was dr00ling all over Alice Glass, lead singer of the popular post-bloghouse band The Crystal Castle? We sort of said that we wished he would have taken a grab at a sweet slice of Alice's perfect, firm, independent butt/junk. Even though he didn't, it's good to know that there are some pervs out there who will do whatever it takes to get a lil bit of action from an indie goddess like Alice Glass.
Is this picture disturbing?
Should Alice Glass start wearing skinny jeans to protect herself from Crystal Predators?
Should women refrain from crowd surfing no matter how much the 'music takes over their soul'?
Has Crystal Castles ever 'taken over ur soul meets body'?
Did Alice Glass buy her Chuck Taylors before or after 1970?
Do u think the people who held her up in the crowd smell like teen angst/are covered in eye makeup now?
Is it ur dream to have a grab at the Uffie while she is basically topless, too?
I think one of the fun things about HIPSTER RUNOFF is keeping 'relevant bands' relevant, even months after they released their latest album or 'reporting' tour dates as an excuse to post an mp3. For instance, I get to post this picture of a brace face drooling over Alice Glass's (lead guitarist of Crystal Castles). It's a shame that Alice Glass always wears leggings so he can't sneak a reach up her skirt.
:-( We all have our dreams (yall).
Who is your female-alt celeb dream hookup?
The lead singer of CSS? Uffie? Ladyhawke? Vanessa Carlton? AgDeyn? Feist? Cat Power? Tegan and/or Sara? The girl in m83? A girl in Ladytron? An indie skank in a popular alt music video? An Au Revoir Simone gurle? One of the girls in the band AIR? A weirdo from Iceland? A grossly kute girl from Scandinavia?
I'll never forget the High School Talent show during my senior year of High School. I was a Master of Ceremonies, and a group of my friends and I made a parody of the Justice video for "Stress." Good times, good times.
While most of the performers were bros with acoustic guitars playing Jack Johnson songs, and 'punk bands' playing Blink 182 covers, there was one act who stole the show. Her name was Alice. She was in my Speech class. She never spoke to any one, and people called her 'weird goth girl.' I always thought she was kind of cute, but thought maybe 'things weren't okay at home.' She wore a lot of eye makeup, and skirts over leggings. A very unique girl. I heard her talk once, but she just kind of screamed something about an "Air War" and I didn't know what it meant.
Anyways, at the Talent Show, Alice signed up to sing a song. The whole school was worried that she was going to use the public forum as an opportunity to utilize a backpack bomb. To every one's surprise, she took the stage with her 26 year old boyfriend. He stood behind his laptop playing electrobeats, and she yelled into the mic. Every one stood up, danced, grinded...just 'let go.' For a moment, Alice was Queen of the School.
After the Talent Show, every one got closer to Alice. She ended up dating the Quarterback of the football team, and even went to prom. Her parents were proud of her for being social, and they bought her a cherry red Jetta.
"Life is meaningful. Never give up."
-Alice Glass, in the made for TV movie The Alice Glass Story
[Photo by Every1isClayton]
Is it reasonable that I think of HEARTSREVOLUTION as a product that was brought to market after Crystal Castles kind of carved out the niche for people to be into 'electro-bands that consist of a male and a female'? I remember after Ladytron was a hit, there was kind of a supersaturated market of 'electro bands with female lead singers that sang about the night/drugs/sex/etc.' Now I think Crystal Castles has kind of inspired a tolerable mini-renaissance for this type of act.
I have haven't really listened to Heartsrevolution very extensively, but I think they are probably one of the most [highly documented] bands not named "JUSTICE" in party pics over the past 6 months. People who seem to know a lot about electronic music are pretty high on the remixes of their songs.
1. Which do u like more, hoodies, or masks?
Hearts Revolution might have given up the mask thing, or only used it for promo pix. However, Crystal Castles have somehow managed to transition from the 'angsty, dark teenager' hoodie aesthetic, over to the 'we are in a touring electro-band' aesthetic.
When will GAP make a hoodie ad-campaign and utilize Crystal Castles?
EDGE: CRYSTAL CASTLES
2. Who has better t-shirts/design visuals?
There's no way Crystal Castles can win this category after coming under so much scrutiny for 'stealing' the Chanel logo and their Madonna artwork.
The Choosing Your Own Adventure vision test t-shirt may or may not be one of the most memorable t-shirt metaphors of 2008.
EDGE: HEARTS REVOLUTION
3. Which female singer does a better job of applying eye makeup?
Alice from CC applies a heavy coat of black eyeliner, but the pink mask effect might put the HEARTSREV broad over the edge. Do yall think Alice was a Graveyard Girl in HS?
[image by SharkVsBear]
Edge: Hearts Revolution
4. Which band is more cryptic without being too annoying?
Do you know any one that actually knows the lyrics to Crystal Castles songs, and sings along while they drive their Volkswagon? I think it's pretty interesting how CC managed to make songs that 'sound interesting' enough to distract people from having lyrical expectations. It's like they have three or four 'distinct synths' that they just stuck to using.
On the other hand, one of the most memorable lines of HEARTSREVOLUTION's proudest song is
'foxes and bunnes/fire and snow/we are all just lost/don't which way to go.' Maybe I'd like it more if it was 10x more distorted, and I couldn't quite understand what they were saying.
HUGE EDGE: Crystal Castles
5. Which male member of the band does a better job of pretending to do something while playing live?
I've read on a lot of internet message board blog rumormills that Ethan from Crystal Castles is great at chilling on stage. The secret is that your body needs to crouch over your gear so that your body forms an angle that is smaller than 135 degrees. The closer to 90 degrees, the better.
Here's the Heartsrevolution guy
I don't really have an issue with people who 'don't play instruments live.' We can't all be as charming as Dan Deacon.
Edge: TOSS UP
6. Which band is more likely to have a song featuring Cory Kennedy?
Oh. HEARTSREVOLUTION already did that? Cory Kennedy can do everything!
HUGE EDGE: Heartsrevolush
7. Which is more likely to be driving an ice cream truck in 2 years after the implosion of the 'blog house' genre, and every one is into lofi and acoustic post-existential music?
Since Heartsrevolution is apparently more of a 'lifestyle brand' than a band, and they already have job experience driving ice cream trucks, we can assume that they have a head start on getting back into the truck again. However, Crystal Castles could always be the creepy van-with-no-windows that drives around your neighborhood selling only ice cream sandwiches and push pops.
SLIGHT EDGE: Hearts Revolution
8. Which 1 is better?
It's tough to really say. Every1 prefers different stuff. We're all different, so maybe we should just all unite, and have a good time, and be friends with every one. Let's build a scene that's all about positivity, and stuff like having fun and partying and stuff like that.
EDGE: It depends on what ur in2
[MP3s]
HEARTSREVOLUTION Prism Effect (feat. Cory Kennedy)
HEARTSREVOLUTION C.Y.O.A.
Crystal Castles Vs. Health Crimewave
Was "Crimewave" the first Health song that u ever heard?
Myspaces
http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles
http://www.myspace.com/HEARTSREVOLUTION
Alice Glass is the lead singer of Crystal Castles. She is known for her KrAzY onStAgE aNtiCs.
Read more>>>>Crystal Castles' video for "Courtship Dating" is intended to have a dark tone; however, it's pretty interesting to think about the design challenges behind making a video for a target audience who mostly watch videos embedded various websites.
Whether you watch this video on youtube, Pitchfork.tv, or HIPSTERRUNOFF.org, can you really get sucked into the 'darkness'/strobe light effects that Crystal Castles artistic director Ethan Kath utilized in this video? I think it might have a powerful effect in a movie theatre, or the 10 times it is played on the MTV2 show Subterranean, but it's tough for me, the prototypical internet consumer of 'below the radar' music, to really get into this video.
Am I being unreasonable in guesstimating that most people will view this Crystal Castles video on the internet?
However, I am pretty into the "Magic Spells" video because I am a member of the valuable 18-35 demographic who are really into dropping cinder blocks on the heads of women.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSsvcT9cDZ0&hl=en]
But seriously. The internet is great because bands can create music videos where dudes drop cinder blocks on people's heads.
<3 <3 <3 snuff films <3 <3 <3
Crystal Castles on Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles
[UPSKIRT ALERT!][UPSKIRT ALERT!][UPSKIRT ALERT!][UPSKIRT ALERT!]
What's up with those leggings? Will we ever be able to see the shaved vaginas of our favourite alternative female celebrities?
I think Pitchfork.tv should make a show where they give artists and musicians makeovers. The kind of show where they go through some one's closet and make fun of their clothes, and make them lighten their hair so they look less old, and more approachable. They could turn Alice's look from 'directionless sophomore in high school whose parents work a lot' to 'professional female musician/secretary.'
What do you think of the Crystal Castles logo? Do you think they ripped off the Chanel logo? Are you more disappointed with Crystal Castles for being unoriginal, or do you think Justice ripped off the Bible/Jesus/God?
Maybe Cut Copy should use the CC logo, too.
Do u know any bands that could use this logo?
Enjoy this video by the dude in Crystal Castles' band before he was in Crystal >
Do you think he should sing more on Crystal Castles songs?
Unfortunately, there is no cross-linking of the bands in these two wikipedia entries:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_Cheerleader
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal_Castles_(band)
If you scan the wikipedia entries, you can notice that the CRYSTALCASTLES DUDE changed his name from Ethan Deth to Ethan Kath, as he moved forward in his musical career. I mean, they were apparently a legitimate band for 'that kind of punk/rock/tribute/cockrock music,' and most musicians have 'growing periods' when they are involved with a sound that didn't make them popular, so you know, basically every one used to be a weiner.
Do u feel like Crystal Castles lied 2 u as they built their cryptic brand?
Is ETHAN DETH hiding his past from us on purpose? Do u think that's why he always hides his face?
Anyways, I gotta go buy some KILL CHEERLEADER albums because I'm way more into them than Crystal Castles now.
http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles
Who needs Pitchfork when a Myspacer Worth Blogging About can cmmnt you about all of today's relevant music news?
This begs the question:
CRYSTAL CASTLES--Did they make a deal with the devil?
Oh well. I'm sure the Crystal Castles/Health concerts would have been too crowded with mainstreamers 'who don't even appreciate the music & are just there because they are trying to be alternative.'
