I was recently at a Crystal Castles concert, and I noticed the lead singer Alice Glass in an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ costume. It was a strategic move, since her name is ‘Alice’ and the kidz movie’s main character is also named ‘Alice.’ It seems like a live show can be limiting. Ur only going to be performing for about 50-350 ‘fans.’ It seems like u should do something that ‘gets u attention on the internet from a blogsite that has thousands of daily visitors.’ This way u can enhance ur macrobrand instead of just portraying with a meaningful microbrand with a 1and done show.

‘Making a meme’ out of a concert seems like something all indie bands must do to ‘get covered.’ Whether it is ‘costumes’, ‘confetti’, or ‘inviting a member of another relevant indie band out on to stage to pretend to play guitar with your band’, it is important to ‘get the internet buzzing’ abt ur live show. This will make them want to attend ur show when you go to their local scene because they will be ‘afraid of missing something.’ This seems like a good strategy for bands that are not worthy of ‘being relevant.’

For example, Of Montreal has never really been a ‘good band’, but since their live shows are ’s000 zany’, ppl really like 2 see them. Here is a picture of an Of Montreal show where they execute women while they are wearing sillie costumes. The photo makes u wanna be there so you can see some1 ‘take her last breath of life.’

Photo via YvanRodic

Crystal Castles is kinda in the same boat as Of Montreal. I am not sure if they will ever release more music, but I think their brand is ’so established’ it won’t matter ‘how good/bad’ their music is. They will realistically never release an album that is ‘critically acclaimed’ or ’says something meaningful that tons of ppl can relate to’, so all they will do for the rest of their lifespan is ‘chill & try 2 keep their brand alive.’

Scarie. Seems like a chill meme, though. ‘Worth blogging about’, potentially.

Do yall know if ‘Alice in WoNdErLaNd’ is an authentic cartoon film? Seems like it was never that interesting, except ppl who ‘do drugs’ like to pretend that it is ‘fucking awesome.’ I prefer the Pixar films cuz they appeal 2 me as an adult, but still entertain my kidz.

Worried that Chrystie Castles are going to start appealing to stoner/druggie bros who now listen to Jam Bands.

Worried that she is trying to look like she is a ‘drug dependent person.’

I hope that even if Chrystine Castles is going through an ‘experimental phase’, it makes their music better. I am worried that it might sound like distorted electro garbage if they ‘drop 2 much acid.’

Sad that everything is about drug culture. Wish music and drugs had nothing to do with eachother so that Incubus never would have acquired a fan base.

what’s ur fave band with a fan base of ppl who ‘do a shitload of drugs’?
do u think they do drugs bc the music would be shitty without drugs?
Or do drugs open up ur mind and enable u to think in ways that straight edge ppl could never dream of?

I am interested in this new era of the Crystal Castles. I thought that they were just going to be ‘irrelevant’ for 1.2 more years, then ‘release an overhyped+overblogged’ followup album that altNewsOutlets covered more bc of ‘familiarity’, and less bc of ‘artistic merit.’ But now it seems like they might be interested in becoming ‘the best Canadian band since the Arcade Social Fire Scene.’

All artists are trying to ‘be authentic’ and ‘provide an inimitable live experience’, and many bands achieve this by displaying their musicianship. I think ‘playing live’ might be a good idea for the Chrystie Cashes. Think all bands are ultimately trying to ‘look cool’ by looking like a male rocknroll band. ‘Playing guitar’ makes consumers feel comfortable watching ur band play. They don’t want to see bandmembers ‘hunched over a laptop’ or even just ‘playing tambourine’. A live audience needs to be ‘captivated’ by ur performance, and enable the much-blogged-about phenomenon of ‘word of mouth’ advertising to take place [via twitter].

I am interested to see them on tour, and see if Alice can play some mad ‘riffs’ on the guitar. If CC comes out to your area, let me know how ‘the Alice on Guitar’ experiment works out.

Not sure who I should like the most/find the funniest. Feel ‘jealous’ of South Park for being ’so mainstream’ but also ‘being cutting edge.’ Not sure if I should ‘respect it’, ‘go out of my way 2 h8 it’, or ‘pretend I don’t watch it.’

Who is an authentic celebrity interpretation?

Bono?

The Jonas Brothers?

Tay Zonday + numerous internet memes?

Jennifer Lopez? [via Mexi humor]

Barry Obama?

Tom Cruise?

Crystal Castles? [via Canadian humor]

Kanye West being a ‘fggt fish.’

Do yall think that South Park is more authentic than Family Guy, or The Simpsons, or are they the kind of people who just ‘make fun of shit’ but ‘don’t make the world better’?

Sometimes I feel like South Park is ‘funnie’ and that I am the only bro who ‘gets it’ like it is supposed 2 be ‘gotten.’ But then I get sad because ‘every1 likes South Park and I feel like less of an individual who likes progressive comedy. Wish I lived in the mid90s, back when there wasn’t a high demand for ‘progressive comedy’ and not every1 consumed it and made it a part of their personality.

Kinda feel _______ about a show that has ‘become popular’ but still ‘being progressive’ and ‘attempting 2 maintain a cutting edge tone’ with the ‘mass audience that they have garnered.’

Just wanna go ‘adult swimming’, and laugh at progressive comedy, dreaming about how ‘I am random and smart…maybe 1 day I can write this stuff… Might start a pop culture blog instead with political opinions.’

Wish more ppl would realize that dancing is actually an art. It’s not just a drunken display of ‘expressing urself.’ I miss 2k7. Back then, it seemed like more ppl let themselves d.a.n.c.e. :-(

“People Don’t Dance No More.” -the Raptures

I came up with an original poem

“dance like no1 is watching
love like u’ve never been hurt
sing like no1 is listening
live like itz heaven on Earth”

Just want 2 dance like no1 is watching
but record it on my Macbook
then upload it to youtube
and let ppl watch it
guess i knew they were watching the whole time
even tho they weren’t rlly there

Actually just designed a tshirt which I will market to ‘Christians’ and miscellaneous ‘generic white people.’

“Blog like no1 is reading.” -Carles, 2009

srsly tho.. do yall think that ‘dancing’ will ‘come back’, or has it been dead+inauthentic since the disco implosion?

I think seems more progressive than a Smart Car, and probably saves more energy. Not sure if it has solar panels on it, or if it comes with USB ports, but still might be nice to have as a ‘weekend car.’

I read on a Wall Street Blog Journal that the Auto Industry is ‘in the shitter’ because they don’t have enough solar cars and because fossil fuels aren’t being turned into car gas any more because the Arabs ‘got greedy’ after the religiously charged attacks on America in the early 2000s. Think it’s kinda risky that the Crystal Castles, LLC is headed into the auto industry, but maybe they are going to try to get a bailout if they prove that they can revolutionize the industry?

Will u buy 1 of their transport, all-terrain vehicles? Or would u rather buy a different 1?

Interested to see if ‘hybrid cars’ actually work out, or if we will all just end up walking and/or riding fixed gear bikes.

Whenever I see a smart car
I think about being an ass hole who drives one
and then getting in a routine car accident
where I accidentally die
because I drive ‘a lil cartoon fggt car’
just because I wanted 2 ’save the environment’
and had the expendable income to ‘prove that I care’

At the 1:25 mark, I noticed that the music stopped, and lead singer of Crystal Castles–Alice Glass–did something very violent. She slung her microphone back, and then wound up, and then hit some bro. U can hear a thud, which was probably an altbro skull being crushed by a microphone. Then she called him a ‘fucker’ and hit him a few more times.

Kinda sad that one of my favourite altcelebs of the Blog House era resorted to hitting a bro with a microphone. Makes me kinda sad, but then u start 2 think, what did the altbro do to get beat+kicked out by a bouncer?

In the past, I have made several posts about ppl ‘having a grab’ at females when they fly into the crowd.
One Post is entitled “Alice Glass Upskirt Grab”
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/alice-glass-upskirt-grab.html

Another post features a tweenAltBro with braces drooling over having his face in Alice Glass’s Business
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/i-dr00l-over-alice-glass.html

And here is some other Female Crowdsurfing Theory inspired by Uffie
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/grabfest-2k8.html

Hope people didn’t get the wrong message from these posts. It’s not okay to ‘grab’ female altcelebs, yall. U wouldn’t grab a female accountant while she was accounting, would u? She’s just doing her job. Hopefully venues don’t make us start signing waivers b4 we go in to keep us from violating members of bands.

I’m kinda worried. I feel like this act might have happened because the BlogHouse bubble is bursting. A lot of altcelebs are feeling a lot of stress ever since the latest AnCo album came out, and sort of made electro/bloghouse seem obsolote+trivial.

Let’s take some time to remember Alice Glass from her glory days with an old tribute video.

Do yall know if this is the pic of the person who Alice Glass beat up?

Do yall agree with violence?
Or whenever an act of violence occurs, is some1 ‘asking for it’?
How far is 2 far, yall?
Should the other member of Crystal Castles have stood up 4 her?
Should we all have to take Anger MGMT classes?
Are ‘acts of violence’ just viral marketing techniques?

Part of me gets a lil bit upset that the mainstreamers are finding out about what I listened to 2+ years ago, but then I realize that I need to ‘be the bigger person’ and let them enjoy.

Did yall see Mathangi Arulpragasam on the cover of SPIN? (I call M.I.A. by her real name 2 sound more authentic.)

Remember when the Management was on the cover of SPIN?

Remember when hipsters were on the cover of BPM?

Remember when a Cool Dad made the cover of Us Weekly?

I was really proud when Crystal Castles were on the cover of NME.

“we are using sounds that no 1 else can get.” -Crystal Castles

I remember when Britney Spears’ sister sharted out a baby and landed on a magazine cover.

It was a big deal when some one as alt as Dustin Hoffman went mainstream and starred in “Hook.”

I was proud of Thom Yorkee for being on the cover of AZN magazine.

It was also a big deal when I was TIME’s person of the year just cuz I built a myspace profile. I showed my parents so they’d get off my back and let me chill on the myspace.

I kinda hope YALL are the Persons of the Year in 2k8.

(I am not proud of alt celebs when they r on the cover of altMagazines that I am not alt enough to recognize).

How do u feel when u see some1 on a magazine cover?
Is it a meme that u should be proud of and connect with?
Do u have ‘pride’ for ‘being into’ an artist/public figure before they were ‘recognized by a magazine’?
Would u be honored m0re to be in a magazine, or be blggd abt at ur fave blog?
Which 1 means more in the current meme economy climate?

//// am I just a meme?
//// RAGE AGAINST THE MEME.

Reminds me of the time that I thought I was watching an ‘authentic viral video’ but it ended up being a popular scene from the alt-gone-mainstream indie comedy ‘Napoleon Dynamite: the Story of a Zany Bro with a Mexi bff.’

h8 it when I am misled when I thought I was watching something authentic.

Just wanted to hear some Crystal Castles/Alice Glass vocals/deep samples, and see a well-executed video. One time I read in a magazine that ‘advertising’ is the ‘master art.’ These days, I kinda wonder if blogging is the ‘master art.’

(For those of yall who don’t know, the ‘master art’ is a term 4 the most authentic way for a human 2 express himself/humanity. Some people say it’s politics. Others say science. Some say it’s organic farming. I think it has something 2 do with the internet/HTML/web 2.0).

Maybe Crystal Castles = the ‘master art’

Wonder what Crystal Castles bought with their royalties?
a) new hoodies
b) ice cream headz (different flavours)
c) new laptops
d) renewed their photoshop license
e) a lil bit of eye makeup
f) leggings with holes in them
g) indoor soccer shoes
h) an AZN
i) Choose.Your.Own.Response

///Just//searching//4//the//’master art’/////

not even sure if i’ll dress up nxt year. this year took a lot out of me. Not evn sure who I am n e m0re. sux. kinda let down. nite didn’t go as I had planned/envision. h8 it when things fall thru.

HIPSTER RUNOFF’s BEST ALTERNATIVE COSTUMES of 2008.

PRESENTED BY CARLES OF THE HIPSTER RANOFFS

The Justices

Girl With a 3rd Nipple on her back

FGGT Indian from the Village People

S0 FUCKING DISC0 BR0

AltWayne and AltGarth

HeartsRevolution PaintedMask Ninja Turtle

JokerAltMainstreamer Pack

////KEEP READING///
////FOR MORE GREAT////
////HALLOWEEN KOSTUMES!////

“Interesting Looking Guy” who was made to be photographed on alternative media websites

Floating Alt

HeartsRevolutionGirl + Woman whose husband just left her

Edward “Meaningful” Scissorhands

Edward “AZN” Scissorhands

Passed Out Girl Who Got Felt Up like krazie

Girls Who Were Born To Have Objects Enter Their Bodies

Katie Couric

Mexican

Kreepier Bjork

Commentary on the duality of Race Relations in the United States, h8 crimes, the Los Angeles Riots, the O.J. Trial, Rodney King, and Barry Obama (a think-piece costume that makes u unCultured if u don’t ‘get’ it)

Hamburgler Alt eating a Pizza Alt (Pizzaburgler Alt?)

Child Predator French Fry Alt

Mickey Avalon pre/post Heroine addiction

Neil AZNstrong

The guy who works on the highway repairs by my house

AltBros Who Read 2 Many blogs

JokerAlt

Bronques From Last Night’s Party’s Illegitimate Son

Bearded Lady

Authentic Jesus

ElectroWar Soldier

AltBloody Tampon

The ‘Zany Guy’ from The Office

Marc Jacobs’ self-concept

JokerAlt?

Captain American Apparel

iPod fggt circa 1994

The Zeitgeist of Ed Banger

the Knife

Sad Lil Boy George

Girl Who Slept Over at Her Boyfriend’s House

Danny Devito JokerAlt

Tom Cruise Joker Alt

Daft Punk’s Illegitimate Brother

GaspardAlts

Jousteece

Justice’s business model when they decide to franchise their brand

2nd place: Authentic Chili’s AltBro

HIPSTER RUNOFF’S #1 COSTUME OF 2K8
James “Authentic Disco” Murphy as Fred “Authentic Caveman” Flinstone

“Get Innocuous 4 some1 great!”
-Fred Flinstone

WHO WAS YALLS FAVE COSTUME OF 2K8?
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM 2K8 THAT WILL HELP US IN 2K9?
WILL HALLOWEEN ALWAY BE ‘FUN’ OR IS IT ‘TOO MAINSTREAM’?
WHO WILL BE THE ‘JUSTICE’ OF 2K9?
WHO WILL BE THE JOKERALT OF 2K9?
WHO WILL BE THE FRED FLINSTONE OF 2K9?

[Photos by]
[ Lastnightsparty]

[Thecobrasnake]

[glamcanyon]

[StyleSightings]

Should I be ‘Spooky’ Justice

Should I be ‘the whistling song’ about Young Folks? (this is a boy+girl costume if ur in an altCouple)

I guess I should trade in my WII/Super Nintendo/Sega Saturn/GameBoy for an XBOXZune360 thingy. Hopefully it comes preloaded with my favourite bloghaus bands.

“I’d give any thing 2 go back in time to when the world was simultaneously meaningfully listening 2 ‘Young Folks.’ Things back then made a lot of sense. It was alright 2 just be urself.”
-some1 who frowns down upon the Electro Era