Question 2) M.I.A. is

a) just a meme
b) pregant
c) should have stayed home
d) trying too hard 2 reach out 2 mainstream audiences
e) just taking care of herself/her career

Question 3: Deadmau5 will be remembered as

a) a zany masked DJ
b) just some weirdo at the Grammys
c) “what is that bro doing at our show?” -Taylor Swift
d) being responsible for bringing ‘masked djs’ to the mainstream
e) just a meme on the day after award shows

Question 4: This is a picture of

a) the coldplays
b) a band that steals songs
c) the writers of the rock album + song of the year
d) bros who need to retire their gimmick
e) Cool dads searching for meaning

Question 5: These bros are chilling at

a) the Grammys
b) A Cool Dad convention
c) A Kidz Health convention
d) A McDonalds playgrond
e) A liberal arts professor conference

Question 6: When I see this single, I think it is

a) Just another bloghouse mp3
b) just another crappy mp3 posted by a lame entrylevel blog on the hypemachine looking to get hits
c) worth a Grammy
d) the best Remix of all time
e) other

Question 7: Kanye West won a grammy for

a) Best frollet
b) Best blogger of the year
c) Worst black person of the year in America
d) JackOfAllTrades/Renaissance Man of the year
e) Best guy who sounds like a robot on his albums

Question 8: Who wore it better?

a) the broad on the left
b) the broad on the right
(this is a test 2 see if ur a racist)

Question 9: The Lonely Island Bros are

a) going to win a Grammy in 2k10
b) a gimmick for bros
c) comedy for bros
d) glorified bro Weird Al bullshit
e) really funnie
f) really progressive
g) going to make the Flight of the Conchords obsolete for bros
h) something for people who smoke weed and watch dvds/ funnie youtube vids

Question 10: This bro won a Grammy for

a) best assault of a broad
b) best knuckle sandwich 2 a broad’s face
c) Best job of ‘putting a woman in her place’
d) Most likely 2 be the next OJ Simpson
e) Future Ike TurnerBro
f) Strongest Pimp Hand
g) Artist of the Millennium who Hits Women
h) Bro Who is above the law
i) bro who is above society’s norms

Question 11: Daft Punk won some Grammy because

a) they deserve it for this live album thingy
b) there are too many Awards categories
c) people only heard of them after Kanye West cobranded with them for that meaningful duet about becoming stronger on the inside

Question 12: Christian Bale won a grammy for

a) being Heath Ledger’s BFF
b) being in Batman
c) becoming a viral meme on audio
d) pretending ‘to get angry’ as a marketing gimmick for the new Terminator film so that Entertainment Magazines will profile him as being ‘complex’ and ‘deep’ and ‘really into his craft’
e) he sang a lot in Newsies

Question 13: The name of this band is

a) 3 Tweens and a Blind Black Man
b) Blind, Black, and Musical: The Band
c) Searching for Our Sexuality thru the blindness
d) Bro Circle Jerk in a room with a blindman
e) Guy Who Should be able to see + need Talent Managers who protect their brands a lil bit better
f) The Grammys: Where Legends go to Make Bad Decisions
g) Steve WonderBro
h) Tweens Who Might be GheyBros

Question 14: This band in this picture is

a) the Spice Girls
b) Paramore
c) Blink 182
d) Girls Aloud
e) The Pussy Cat Dolls
f) Aqua
g) Jen Aniston and the Skanky McSkankBroads
h) Chris Brown’s “Pimp Hand”

Can’t believe I missed the Grammys. Feel really ‘out of the loop.’ Just want to connect 2 ‘pop culture’ since it is kind of the fabric of society that relates us all.

Kinda feel like this picture represents the state of modern music.
In this picture is everything that we want.
We want bloggable content with stars who attract viewers by saying zany things and being progressive enough to blurb about.

Did yall hear M.I.A. is pregnant?
Are yall excited about how twitter gives u such direct and instant access 2 ur fave celebs while they are at a meaningful event like the Grammys?

[via diplo's drunken memes during the Grammys blogspottwitter]

Cool Dads will also be required by law to wear an ‘expensive looking jacket’, jeans, and Chuck Taylors/Converse All Stars/off brand shoes that look like Converses but were probably more expensive.

[Photo via JezzyBelle]

In other COOL DAD news, did yall hear Death Cab for CuteAZNs changed the name of their band? Can’t wait for their new EP. Not sure if I will identify with it, though.

ergonomic strollers : cool dads :: wayfarers/sneakers/palestinian scarves/tilted lids : altBros

XX BONUS PIZZA WAR COVERAGE XX

In the future, will companies deliver turn tables like they deliver pizza?

[Photo by LastNightsPizzaParty]

Should I be a member of Deathcab for Cutie who is pumped to support Barry Obama? He has the spirit of a college student who is experiencing ‘his first election with a free-spirited, conscious mind’.

Should I be the chunky guy from ‘The Cures’?

[Photo via Jezzibelle]

Should I be an Alternative Wolverine from the hit cartoon show ‘X-Men’?

[Photo by facehunter]

Should I be ‘lil cunt’ from the movie Lil Miss Sunshine?

(or maybe I’ll be the Guy from The Office/the guy from Talk Soup/the guy from There Is Blood)

Or Should I just stick with the original plan of being JOUSTEECE 4 Halloween?

Here’s a few videos of alt celebs gettin ‘quirky’

1. Girl Talk gets sillie when he talks about marginally talented video editors ‘mashing up’ music videos to go along with his fun lil songs.

[GT coverage by the Butter Team]

2. The Guy with the big head from Deathcab for Cutie made a video that was intended to go ‘alternative viral’, and really did a good job of showing us that he has a ‘lighter side’ and ‘doesn’t just make music–he has other ideas when it comes to film and mockumentary-ish OFFICE type of humor.’

3. Here’s another funnie video that was underwritten by MTV to take Death Cab’s ‘meaningful core’ brand to the next level by adding a layer of identifiable quirkiness to them. S000 sillie/rand0m. WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS GOLD? MY BL0G NEEDS SOME BRIGHT COLOURS+RETRO AESTHETICS + NAPPY DYNAMITE-ISH HUMOR.

4. I like watching videos of my fave alt celebs ‘goin wild’ on camera. Here is Spank Rock doing a keg stand. hehe. ‘Alt Celebs Gone Wild.’ This guy should probs set a better example for the kids.

But SRSLY…what do yall think of THE OFFICE / humor that people think elevates them to a higher plane of ________?

Why can’t we go back to the days of the MOCKUMENTARY when we could just be ourselves?
Is ‘The Office’ alt or mainstream? Do yall watch TV? Does n e 1 that I would respect know the answers to these questions?

g2g watch an entire season of ‘Lost.’ TTYouAllGuysLater.

Should they be called “Cool Dad Glasses”? Or like “alt safety goggles”?

This style of glasses combined with intense sideburns can make you look like the kind of person who has murdered some one and destroyed all of the evidence [via wood chipper]. This may or may not be worse than child predator glasses.

But srsly, here’s a picture of Ben Gibbard with the think tank that put Death Cab together when they were all 12 years old with the hopes of establishing the meaningful-core genre.

These dudes:DeathCab :: Lou Pearlman : NSYNC + BSB

Whenever one of these indie bands releases an album, people are like ‘omg! I can’t believe it’s #1 on iTunes! WTF? They r indie! I used to listen 2 them, but not any more.’ When it comes to music that white people listen to, I think popular mainstream and indie bands are fighting against all of that Soulja Boy type of stuff, so it’s probably time for them to unite into one genre.

MEANINGFUL-CORE MUSIC: Presented by HIPSTER RUNOFF

MEANINGFUL-CORE music can be described as
1. music that makes a general mainstream consumer think that his/her life is more meaningful
2. music that an alt or mainstream person can talk about in a conversation and make them seem ‘with the times’, ‘interesting’, and ‘on a quest for self-awareness.’
3. music that is structured to seem directly meaningful, cryptically meaningful, or if the singer just looks/sounds earnest and meaningful in some form
4. music that is made by a predominantly male band, with a male lead singer (the voice of a male offers more meaning than a female can offer)
5. music that is created by a band who ‘meant it’ on their first album, then experimented, then ‘got mainstream’, then ‘meant it’ in a cool-dad kind of way later in their career. (no matter what, they always sold out large venues)
6. music that music critics respect, and you can put on a mix CD for a person of the opposite sex to make them think that you ‘understand love, life, and everything else that could make a relationship work.’

I think meaningful-core can help explain how the popular mainstream bands and popular indie bands have merged into this one classification. Zach Braff was an innovator by lumping meaningful-core hits into the Garden State soundtrack. At that time, consumers began to think that the music within their iPod should ‘give them a more meaningful soundtrack for their lives’.’ Each song can make an event like looking out a car window seem really amazing.

DCFC: they look like they really ‘mean it.’

Meaningful-core bands can take your existence to the next level. They will help you relate to more people who are searching for meaning in their lives’. Meaningful-core will help you connect with impending sexual partners in a meaningful-kind-of-way. Their albums are important snap shots of the global economy of feelings.

Other bands or artists can have a ‘meaningful core hit’, but it doesn’t always mean that their other stuff will be interpreted as ‘meaningful on a mass scale.’ For example, that Iron and Wine dude covered ‘Such Great Heights’, but I think only girls liked that song and that guy. A band like Death Cab can gimmick mainstream bros and entry-level altbros in with lyrics like, ’so this is the New Year… and I don’t feel any different. :-( ‘

Meaningful-Core bands are able to transcend our society as a whole. They transcend media outlets, and they re-think ‘antiquated methods of album distribution.’ They have a sea of fans who are into being their fans. They have street teams.

Americans first learned that Coldplay was [Highly meaningful] when the music video for ‘Yellow’ showcased a rising sun throughout the duration of the video.

Subgenres of meaningful core:
Cryptically meaningful bands in an artsy-ish way
(These bands may or may not achieve success in sales, but garner a lot of critical acclaim for being really meaningful)
1. Sigur Ros
2. The Microphones
3. Animal Collective/Panda Bear
4. The Avalanches
5. Boards of Canada
6. The Books
(These bands appeal to people who want meaning through conceptual stuff that is less approachable to mainstreamers.)

Earnest Electro meaningful
(After people ‘fell in love with the Postal Service’ they were searching for some replacements of earnest electronic music.)
1. The Notwist
2. The Go Find
3. Air
4. Frou Frou
5. Lali Puna
6. only the song “Digital Love” by Daft Punk
7. Only the song “some one great” by LCD soundsystem

“leave me paralyzed, love” – the Notwist

Mainstream rock bands that add ‘meaning’ to mainstreamers who think they are really unique in a ‘I still wear a ying yang necklace’ kind of way
1. Incubus
2. Linkin Park
3. Creed (R.I.P.)
4. Tool

******
The Shins sing that 1 song about Caring being Creepy, right? Soo true (and so random)

******

So in conclusion, people are looking for meaning in their lives’. They want to know why they are here, and why their perspective is more special than yours or mine. Music offers a wide range of products that can help users believe that they are more unique, more authentic, more alterntive, more mainstream, and more intrinsically meaningful. While we all have different interpretations of ‘what it means to mean something meaningful’, we can all find an artist that helps us to feel like we truly connect with what it is that connects those of us who ‘understand the human condition.’

Meaningful-core songs are in 25% of iPod commercials. (25% is dedicated to upcoming female stars, and 50% is dedicated to ‘dancey fun stuff that alternative people listen to.)

Filling this iPod with meaningful-core music could make your head start secreting the gel-form of meaningfulness.

Plz elaborate on or refine any theories proposed in this bl0g p0st.
<3 yall r smart. Yall should be consultants 4 EMI/Geffen/SubPop/XL <3
<3 When Soul Meets Body <3

Now, whenever I see a band mature and age, I can’t help but think of them as ‘cool alternative parents.’ While some of these dudes are probably actually parents, it’s just pretty interesting to think of these guys as transitioning between holding a guitar to holding a 4 year old daughter.

Sonic Youth

Blink 182

Daft Punk without their masks?

Is it weird when 15 year old girls relate to songs that a ‘cool dad’ wrote? Does Deathcab for Cutie still sing about themes of youth and blossoming love on their latest album?

I guess transitioning into a COOL DAD is better than ‘trying to find the fountain of youth via partying too much.’ Right?

“God bless the daylight
The sugary smell of springtime
Remembering when you were mine
In a still suburban town
When every Thursday
I’d brave those mountain passes
And you’d skip your early classes
And we’d learn how our bodies worked”
-Benjamin Gibbard, DCFC

Would u learn how ur body works with a cool dad?

Now, whenever I see a band mature and age, I can’t help but think of them as ‘cool alternative parents.’ While some of these dudes are probably actually parents, it’s just pretty interesting to think of these guys as transitioning between holding a guitar to holding a 4 year old daughter.

Sonic Youth

Blink 182

Daft Punk without their masks?

Is it weird when 15 year old girls relate to songs that a ‘cool dad’ wrote? Does Deathcab for Cutie still sing about themes of youth and blossoming love on their latest album?

I guess transitioning into a COOL DAD is better than ‘trying to find the fountain of youth via partying too much.’ Right?

“God bless the daylight
The sugary smell of springtime
Remembering when you were mine
In a still suburban town
When every Thursday
I’d brave those mountain passes
And you’d skip your early classes
And we’d learn how our bodies worked”
-Benjamin Gibbard, DCFC

Would u learn how ur body works with a cool dad?