HIPSTER RUNOFF

I was recently on the internet, and I happened to see that former bloghaus 'it girl' Uffie had some sort of 'new music video.' I am not sure if I ever liked her, or if I was just 'really into being into bloghouse bangers'/pretending that I was 'into electro culture' as I tried 2 distance myself from the mainstreamification of meaningfulcore indie rock.

I am not sure how to feel about this video. Sorta is like some sort of time machine, or a vessel to the past. You watch it and remember 'how the electro blog scene used to be.' U sorta want to move to L.A. and try to become internet friends with altCelebs. I think this song is like from 4 years ago. From what I understand, Uffie's appeal was to be some sort of 'lolita' type of figure since she was a [BARELY LEGAL] teen when she 'first came on the scene.' Now it seems like her brand is 'cougar.' Not sure if her product/brand will be able to 'penetrate' as deep as it once could have now that electro sorta died and ppl want 'conceptual shit.' Miss when Uffie used to 'chill out' with her nipples hanging out all the time.

I feel like even the market for female raunchy slutty crappy myspacey rap acts bubble 'burst' a while ago. I'm not sure if alternative girls still want to 'be like that.' I think they have new aspirations, and don't want to hear skanky girls rapping about getting drunk and letting men put their erect peepees into them.

(This music might still be popular with Californian females.)

I am not sure how long the 'shelf life' of an aesthetic/genre/band is supposed to last. Once you have a 'fan', will that fan buy something from you for the rest of his or her life? I wonder if a chillwave band will 'release' a video/single for one of their 2k9 songs in 2k13. Really 'baffled' that Ed Banger is 'back on the scene.' I think it is generally a 'good thing' for music websites to have a 6 month turnover on a genre, so that 'we' can appear to always be on the lookout for something totally new and different. I just wish more blogs and music site zines would be willing to 'throw artists under the bus' and 'act like certain artists never existed.' It's okay to be ashamed of who u used to be. Distancing urself from bands that u used to like is 'just part of growing up' in the modern world.

Just because u were 'relevant' once doesn't mean u earn the right to be relevant 4evr. I wonder if modern indie bands 'want to last forever.' It seems difficult, like the forces that helped u become a buzzworthy band would be the same forces that tore u apart/made the world 4get abt u.

Speaking of Ed Banger products, I also feel 'very confused' by this video for Justice's remix of Lenny Kravitz. Sorta just 'skimmed' through it and saw a lot of confusing parts and heard a lot of Justicey sounding music. Seems like a gimmicky conceptual music video that I 'don't really have time' to try to watch in order to 'get' the concept. S0 many memes, not enough time.

Wonder if an older version of me would have thought this was 'kewl' and 'blggbl.' Or if I would have been proud that 'bloghouse had finally made it.'

I wonder if 'bloghouse' and 'bangers' will come back after the chillwave era. Seems like we are still searching for 'what is next' for the winter months.

If there was some sort of alternative stock market, would u invest in bloghouse? Would u buy shares in Uffie/Ed Banger?
How much would AnCo stock be worth?
What would the 'google' of alternative stocks?
Would Am Appy stock be worth more in 'the real stock market' or 'the alt stock market'?
Is now the time to buy stock in Horchata Core?

'WTF is horchata?'

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Lists: it girls, slutwave, QTs, indie songstresses

Read more>>>>

Yall. I think the days of electro/bangers might be dying. Think that the events in this post my be some
sort of sign that 'the end is near.' It involves some of the key figures in the Electro World, and takes place on Electro Holy Ground.

Apparently at Busy P's birthday party, there was some sort of 'fight' between the Cinespace bouncers and the Ed Banger crew.

[Photos by Ronys Photo Booth]

From what I have heard, there were 'members of the Ed Banger crew who weren't let into the VIP area.' Then a bouncer 'pushed' notable nitelife DJ Kavinsky and they started 2 fight.

SoMe looks 'like an angry French man' in this picture.

Sources 'in the know' told me that the 'bouncers were overwhelmed with entry levelers' who were 'mad hyped to see the Daft Punk bro, Thomas Bangalter 'play a set' live. Feel sad knowing that he is the bro on the left.

(actually thought that Daft Punk were robots)

Not sure how to feel after seeing French people 'angry' and 'fighting.'
We all just want 2 be V.I.P.s, I guess. Wish more bands would 'get in fights' so that the musicblogsphere would 'have more interesting stuff 2 write about.' Trying to do more to 'write about what is happening in local scenes.' Might have to hire 'interns' in every city in America or something.

Is electro dying?
Is Ed Banger going 2 survive the recession?
Are 'bangers' still alive?
Do I need to blog more about ______ instead of _________?
I feel like Ed Banger collective has evolved into the 'type of band that u feel alright hearing ABOUT but not actually hearing.' Think that is a result of the modern music memesphere structure.

More fight pix 'after the jump'

I didn't read about 'why' Uffie was naked and her boyfriendArtBro was doodling her, but it seemed bloggable. But then I got all sad cuz I don't want my blog to be aligned with n00dz+electro any more. Kinda want to make it more like a 'communal room where bros turn on lava lamps and listen to AnCo/incubus.'

[meme via hypebeast/ID magazine]

I remember back in 2k7/k8, Uffie would always 'show off her nips' and it would be s000 bloggable. Kinda ashamed of who I was back then. I thought it was funnie that I kept blggng about her, even though she has only really made like 2.5 songs. It was a 'funnie joke' since she just kinda parties and pretends 2 be a musician. but now I actually hold my altcelebs and musicians accountable for progressive our art economy.

In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this. It's time to 'grow up' and put Ed Banger behind us, yall. U have 2 realize that when u go to a Justice concert, u r perpetuating consumerist bullshit. It's just the next trend that pokemones/mexicAlts are going to worship. (not sure if ppl already stopped following Ed Banger memes+artists in 2k5)

Yall need to worship that it is 'okay to like music' for any reason, but it is also 'okay to resent music that u used 2 allegedly like and shun that era of ur life, completely invalidating who U were during that time.'

We need to grow up.
We need to come up with a global rubric for what constitutes 'art.'
We need international blogging guidelines for 'what memes are bloggable.'
We need viral containment standards.
We need to look in the mirror
and realize that we will not last forever (our lives')
and do more to chill hard
without thinking about
why we like what we like
and follow what we follow.

(do yall know what female artists will be big in 2k9? Maybe that girl who wrote that song about how she's not gonna write u a love song (u say I only hear what I want 2)?)
What should HRO be about in 2k9? what gimmicks can yall see emerging?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Lists: it girls, slutwave, QTs, indie songstresses

Read more>>>>

Should I buy these Daft Punk loafers?

Or these Daft Punk Dolls?

Or the Busy P + SoMe sneaker?

Don't u h8 FRENCH PEOPLE BANTER in English?

Should I buy the Ed Banger ED PHONES?

Should I buy this FEADZ Mighty Kids Meal // Happy Meal?

Or should I get the Uffie McFlurry maker?

Or should I just 'cum' with an an androgynous McDonalds character? <3 Grimace <3

[Photo by GVB at Grimace's DJ Set @ Pitchfork Music Festival (2015)]

Or should I be Justice in a Palestinian scarf for Halloween?

[Shoes via Sean Ahern Tumblr]
[FGGT Dolls by Daily Swarm]

Or should I just buy a pack of Sharpies and huff them until my brain starts leaking out of my nose?

What are yall gonna buy?

Daft Punk

Buzzband, DJ

Daft Punk is a French House band that 'peaked' with discovery.

Lists: past their prime, French, electro, critical darlings, alternative tenure

Read more>>>>

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Lists: it girls, slutwave, QTs, indie songstresses

Read more>>>>

Justice

Buzzband, DJ

Justice is a popular banger house electro group from France on Ed Banger Records.

Lists: Members of Justice, French, electro, bloghouse era, bangers

Read more>>>>

I am going 2 blog about more products and how these products will make me a better person/make my life more meaningful/make my personal brand more alt.

<3 <3 <3 <3
N E WAYS.... here's some stuff I've been 'online window shopping' 4.
<3 <3 <3 <4 <5

Should I buy these headphones by Ed Banger & WeSC? I've always wanted a pair of ED PHONES. They will probably make the music sound better out of my iPod/ableton.

These look like something that come with a Fisher Price toy and have shitty audio quality. The only people I can see buying these are 13 year old tween alts, or 'Euro Electro House D-bag FGGTs.'
Do u think it will hurt Justice's image when they are contractually obligated to wear these sillie lookin things?
[Freshness]

Is it time that Ed Banger starts to look for a new aesthetic just for the sake of keeping things fresh? Time 2 Fire SoMe?

**************
Should I buy this moustache necklace thingy?

Do u think it will make me look as authentically quirky alt (NappyDynamite) as the girl in the pic? Is her life meaningful?
[SwissMiss]
************************
Should I buy these leggings made by MEMBERS ONLY? They are made out of rubber. I wonder if that will feel better than American Appy Leggings or LindZay Lohan's "Tired of Leggings Starting" Leggings Fashion Line.

SRSLY tho... Members Only should stick to making jackets. That would be kind of like McDonalds turning into a record label/blog hybrid business model.
[Style Bay Area]
***********
Should I buy this zany t-shirt?

It represents me for me (except it's not in Arial/Helvety).

Urban Outfitters

Company

Urban Outfitters is an alternative retailer that sells a bunch of clothes and knick knacks 2 alt ppl.

Lists: alternative retailer

Read more>>>>

I love seeing Gaspy and Xavy bein' a little bit sillie for once. While I like thinking of them as rockNrollers with 'attitude' who 'make bangers (not mash),' it's good to see that they are embracing their power animals.

Gaspy & the Justices on myspace
http://www.myspace.com/etjusticepourtous

!!!!!!********!!!!!!!!*******!!!!!*********
!!!!!!********!!!!!!!!*******!!!!!*********
!!!!!!********!!!!!!!!*******!!!!!*********

But SRSLY yall, I learned a lot from the Busy P interview on P4K. There was a lot of name dropping, banger-referencing, and tales from a meaningful+fun youth. Here are some of my fave parts:

********WTF IS BLOG HOUSE?*******
Pitchfork: Do you think the term "nu rave" describes the music that acts like Justice, Digitalism, or Boys Noize produce well?

Busy Pedro: I think nu rave is already over. One term I really like to describe this kind of music is "hooligan disco." A guy from French label Institubes came up with that name, and I think it fits perfectly.

****OMG I WANT HIS ALT-CELEB LIFE S0 BAD*****
Pitchfork: You're a DJ, producer, and manager in addition to running a successful record label. Do you always know what to do first when you get in the office in the morning?

Pedro Winter: One the one hand, I have a pretty normal office day. I get to work at 10 in the morning and leave at eight or nine. I first check emails and communicate with our artists by iChat. Then I go for meetings at Because Music, which is a licensing partner for Justice.
On the other hand, my job at the moment is a bit similar to that of a taxi driver because I don't know what will happen-- there are always surprises. The other day Rick Rubin calls to say that he likes our music. Then I had to explain to Madonna why Justice doesn't want to support her on tour. It's crazy.

****NVR 4GET 'WE R UR FRIENDS' ******
Pitchfork: Did Justice's success surprise you?

Peddy Winter: Of course! We sold 250,000 albums worldwide, almost 100,000 in France alone. There's no other electronic dance act selling like that at the moment. It's crazy. It's incredible. We sold more copies of the Justice album in France than of the last Daft Punk album. This is just crazy. And I just met them at a raclette dinner that [Ed Banger's graphic designer] So-Me invited me to. I was the oldest one at the dinner, and they later told me that they were a bit impressed that I was there. At the end of the evening they asked me if they could play me a track, which was "We Are Your Friends". I took the track, told them to come to my office the next day, and signed a contract with them. That night I had a party at the Le Pulp club in Paris. I played the track, and the club went crazy. I knew I had something special. For me this record is a generational anthem, and I think it will be something that the kids of today will still like to remember when they are 30 years old.

Note: This song will be played at my funeral.

***When did u discover myspace?***
"I discovered MySpace in 2005, maybe a little bit before it blew up. "
-Pedro Winter

NOTE: I DID NOT MAKE THAT UP. Is being on myspace before it blew up kind of like 'knowing about the Arcade Fire when they had under 10K myspace pageviews'?

Can you find the alt celeb in this sea of children?
Hint: He used 2 manage Daft Punk, but then he told them that the should 'stop it with that robot gimmick' + Electroma was an overrated pile of robot feces, so they had to let him go. [unconfirmed rumor]

I read in a blog that the video for "D.A.N.C.E.' was actually a visual love letter from SoMe to the lolita he kept in a pit in his basement. [Note: SoMe does not keep young women in his basement, nor does he have a death pit in his house.]

BUT SRSLY...if ever there was a time to wear Child Predator glasses... Thnx a lot Ed Banger.

[Photos by The Cobrasnake]
***********
"HRO, they are just having a good time. There's nothing wrong with being around young fans who like your music and identify with your lifestyle brand. You are insinuating that they are child predators, when they are just a couple of French men living their dreams. Deep down, we all want to be adored by seas of children; this is why Steve Aoki crowd surfs 300% more often in 3rd world countries."
-an informed commenter who studied 'The Psychology of Alt Celebs' in College

BUSY P designed this shoe so that you can look kute, interesting, and 'in-the-know.'

Is ur life finally complete and meaningful now that Justice's manager and the mind behind Ed Banger Records has designed his own Nike Air Force 1? He has truly captured the essence of 'banger' in a shoe.

HIGH SNOBIETY says:

In this picture you see the "Pedro Winter" shoe, which is the right shoe. The left shoe is designed by So_Me and in fact the shoes are having a conversation, when looking at the graphics. Another highlight is the rainbow sole.

I feel like SoMe, the graphicologist for Ed Banger Records, probably just did both shoes. They both probably recognize the opportunity for a sustainable alternative symbiotic relationship.

Do you think some one will wear the Justice jackets with their Busy P dunks?
Should they have just written the lyrics to "D.A.N.C.E." on these shoes?
Is this Ed Banger's greatest creation since Uffie?
Does any one know if Daft Punk is still affiliated with Busy P?

xx BONUS BUSY P topless pic xx

[Image by Last Night's Partie]

We live in a world of tiny men in bulky basketball shoes.

I'm sure every one is familiar with So Me. He's the dude who does the ART for all things Ed Banger. So whether it's the breakthrough video for "D.A.N.C.E." or the "DVNO" video, it's pretty evident that So Me's a pretty effective artist.

Anyways, maybe you had heard about his studio show in Toronto.

Here's a picture of So Me between two portraits of Ed Banger Records' most popular act, JUSTICE.

Some could argue that SO ME is the best party & concert flier-maker of our generation

I'm one of the most critical people in the world, but is it safe to say that SO ME's work is extremely visually and conceptually satisfying?

He even made a tattoo for Uffie

Sometimes I wonder if SO ME should leave Ed Banger Records, and work for only Fortune 500 companies.

As demonstrated by the video made for Justice's "DVNO," his corporate identity skills are second to none.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_XzCR2MbrU&hl=en]

And remember that time Kanye West had SO ME make a video for him after Kanye got really into Justice & Daft Punk?

SO ME: Better Than Warhol?
SO ME: Will he ever leave Ed Banger test the market as a free agent?
SO ME: Should Pixar offer him a lifetime contract?
SO ME: Are you happy that he's not just teaching After Effects classes at an Art College?
SO ME: Will he ever make an animated pornography scene?
SO ME: Should the United Nations enact a law that only lets SO ME make graphic tshirts for the next decade?

View More Pictures from the SO ME Gallery Show in Toronto here
http://pregnantgoldfish.wordpress.com/2008/03/20/how-many-busy-ps-can-you-fit-in-one-room/

xx BONUS SO ME gif xx

Cheer up, JusticeBro! You've 'made it.' You're playing Madison Square Garden. You can smile in some of your party pix. No need to wear scarie t-shirts and belt buckles. The image might not go over well with girls who are growing out of Hannah Montana and into Ed Banger Products.

We're proud of you. You're turning the world on to this whole 'electronic music' thing, and even if the world rebels against the banger in 2009, we'll always stand by you. Even after Kanye raps over one of your songs, we'll be there for you.

And even if the general public isn't enough for you, at least you've formed a rat pack who will love you forever. We'd all give anything to have a 'core group of friends who have learned to express themselves, and are having some fun while doing it.'

Photos @ CobraSnaker

BANGERS SUCK: COMING SOON?