HIPSTER RUNOFF

I went to my local non-Starbucks coffee shop today, and I heard groups of libbyrals and college students who were gloating about 'our' victory. It's like they think everything problem in our zany w0rld has been fixed. Wish they realized that we're basically like this guy... blind & wearing a sillie maze outfit that represents our lives'. We're all the same, yall.

The election has distracted me from the real issues in my life. When will I get tugged again? Who will pay rent at my overpriced apartment with crappy facilities on a kewl side of town? Will my parents ever 'get' me? Will I ever be 100% authentic? Will my city install in the infrastructure for Sparks to flow from a faucet in every1's home? Will my state build a monorail that leads straight to NYC & Los Angeles for weekend purposes? Will the United States finally do something about foreign artists like Ed Banger who convince our nation's entrylevel alts that they are 'cooler' than us? Will some1 do anything to protect our natural resources during the electro war? Will I get drafted?

so many uncertainties, yall. h8 when people tell me that life is perfect.

We've got a lot of work 2 do, yall. Things r far from perfect.
YES YALL CAN.

Maybe having a new president just 'takes some time 2 get used to.' Scared+worried+need my anti-anxiety medicine. Is Barry Obama gonna shut down the internet? h8 change.

[Photo by Deep City Dive]

What are yall worried abt?
N e 1 feelin 'a bit awkward' 2day?

Is n e 1 else 'gettin a lil bit of anxiety' abt 2nite. I'm gonna wake up 2morrow, and everything is gonna be different. I will have a reason to live. I will have a reason to keep going. I will have a reason to go to design school. I will have a reason to 'lose some weight' as a 2k9 New Year's resolution.

Tonight, Barry Obama will win. Tomorrow morning, I will drive to a rural area and be embraced by some one who voted for George W. Bush. We will go out to McDonalds for breakfast and realize 'maybe we're all kinda the same after all.' We will be brothers for the next four years.
We will unite under 1 church which preaches both 'faith' and 'logic.'
We will govern our nation with 'a lil bit of God' and 'a lil bit of science.'
We will let convicts out of jail, granting them a fresh start.
We will take down Osama Bin Laden.
We'll teach a modified version of 'evolution' that's a lil bit more fun.
We will rescue our nation from financial crisis.
We will make sure that altbros and altbags have an equal voice in the Senate.
We will defeat Iran.
We will defeat North Korea.
We will defeat China and destroy their Olympic facilities.

This is our America.

I'm eggcited, yall! Barry won! Hooray!

[HIPSTER RUNOFF BROKE THIS STORY FIRST]

Barry Obama will bring us together.
-to the tune "Love Will Tear Us Apart"

[Original Art]
Patrick Moberg - Meaningful Obama Tumblr Meme (HIPSTER RUNOFF RMX)

I <3 2 rmx memes.

yall. I'm not sure if I should vote. Ppl tell me that it's 'rlly important', but I just feel like my personal life won't be that different if George W. Bush isn't re-elected. Not sure who this 'new guy in town' is, but have heard rumors he is a terrorist/a member of the Bin Laden family.

Kinda need 2 wikipedia these candidate guys 2 'see what's up'.

Why r people trying to get the George Bush out of the office? Nvr rlly did n e thing 2 me. Seemed like a chillBro.

I don't rlly watch TV, so I haven't followed the election 2 well except for memes about that MilfLady.

Has n e 1 heard rumors that if u don't vote, u will automatically die/be executed?

"Come With Me" -puff daddie
"I'll be missin yall." -Sting ft. P Diddy

Don't rlly understand why celebs think they have 2 'tell people 2 vote'. not rlly their jobs. Kinda wish they'd leave us alone and let us tug offin front of our computer screens. Kinda feel like they are 'making the election less authentic' by trying to tie themselves to some sort of blog buzz marketing gimmick. There need 2 be laws/regulations about celebs who are 'using' the election just 2 make themselves seem 'more connected' to 'our world' and 'you.'

Should I start 2 believe in G0d in order to have him help guide my vote?

Should I get involved on my college campus's Young Democrats organization? Will I meet people with similar interests as me? Will we 'get buzzed' and 'partie' but also talk about important issues?

Voting makes me feel (more/less) authentic.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) unique.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) alt.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) mainstream.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) in control of our country's future.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) 'connected' with what 'the common man' cares about.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) like a fggt.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) like an old person.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) like an internet user.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) like a bitter political science professor.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) like a 'political blogger.'
Voting makes me feel (more/less) like a person who 'laughs rlly loud' at Saturday Night Live sketches because they 'get' the world.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) pressured to find Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impression 2 be 's00 funnie.'
Voting makes me feel (more/less) comfortable with the direction of the world.
Voting makes me feel (more/less) human after yall.

Should I 'vote'?
Does n e 1 know a website that has 'the issues' posted?
Can people still make zany internet memes abt the candidates even after the election is ovr?

[Aoki foto by StyleClicker]

ALTBRO or ALTBAG is an HRO gimmick where I find pix of alternative males. Readers then must decide if the person pictured is an altBro or an altBag.

Please justify your answer in your response in order to receive 20 HRO points.

For example: "He is an altbag bc his moustache is authentic and altBros can't grow facial hair."
or "he is an altBro who is trying 2 b progressive by wearing a denim jacket."
or "CRLS...r u blind? he is obvi a cool dad."

[Photo by DamStyle]

What do u think?

"Make sure u make ur vote count. Ur unique voice/opinion is important."
-The Election Thingy

Doesn't that Alt resemble Jason Lee, yall? Luv getting buzzed and watching NBC comediez.

Does n e 1 know how elections work? I have been reading news websites and there is one coming up. Does ne 1 know how to 'create.my.own.vote'? I'm not sure if there is some sort of iPhone app that I am supposed to add to my Blackberry, or something like that. Also, I am friends with a few robots & creatures from the electro jungle. Are they allowed to vote if they weren't born in the United States?

Does the election happen every year?
Do the candidates ever release mp3s that get posted on hypemachine?
Is every blog on the internet supposed 2 'endorse some1' kinda like a newspaper?
How does this stuff work, yall?

I'm also kinda worried about what will happen 2 the world after a 'new bro' is elected? Do u remember the personality type of your fellow classmates who 'wanted to be a politician' when they grew up? Have yall ever chilled with politicians in real life. Are they like a (High School Class President)^10000 ?

Hope the w0rld doesn't end. :-( Just want 2 beLIEve.

Daft Punk

Buzzband, DJ

Daft Punk is a French House band that 'peaked' with discovery.

Lists: past their prime, French, electro, critical darlings, alternative tenure

Read more>>>>

Have yall heard about this new election thingy? Is it true that u get to vote online now, and that even nonAmericans are allowed 2 vote? Do yall want the world 2 be a better place? Are they really going to be able to verify Myspace accounts if they use the MyspaceVote platform? Will MyspaceVote be more significant than MyspaceMusic?

Did yall hear that we have to pay for some banks that ran out of money bc poor people have been stealing it to buy houses that they haven't worked hard enough 4? Why couldn't they just live in apartments 4 the rest of their lives'? Why/How are they(we) gonna pay 4 this?? Are they gonna take the money out of my bank account, or will I pay with monthly payments, or can I use paypal? s00 confused. Wish we didn't have 2 use money and we just exchanged goods and services without 'currency.'

N e ways...back2 politix....
People always talk about 'getting the young people out to vote', but they don't really provide much incentive. I think with this new 1Vote=1GiftCard system, kids will finally start to 'get off the couch' and start voting.

I wish politicians would talk about stuff that I care about, such as the same couple of bands over and over. Or maybe even the pursuit of altness. Or our mainstream world, and the influence of altness over it.

XX BONUS TECHNICAL QUESTION XX
Does n e 1 know how I can change my blog font 2 be one of these?

Not very good at computers. These are the only fonts that can carry the weight of my words. Just wanna express myself to yall.