HIPSTER RUNOFF

Yall. There's so many VivaLaVidaAlts these days. I feel like we're about 2 go 2 war.
Kinda scared now that Obama is in office. It's like a zany awards show that gives out fake awards--N E THING CAN HAPPEN. Just want the world 2 know that my fashion choices are representative of my appreciation for the founding fathers of my country during our colonial/regal era.

[Photos by GaranceDore]

"I used to rule the world." -Coldplay
"It was all yellow." - Coldplay
"The Scientist, yall." - Coldplay

Rlly eggcited abt the grammies, yall. Hope Coldplay wins. I think that would mean that 'alt' has officially overtaken the mainstream.

In honor of Coldplay, I will post the top albums in 2k8 that were purchased on the internet music shoppe called 'iTunes.'

2008'S ITUNES TOP ALBUMS

1. Coldplay, Viva La Vida (for people who have read music mags for the past 10 years/ppl who are searching for meaning [via the radio])
2. Jack Johnson, Sleep Through The Static (for meaningful festival mainstreamers)
3. Juno soundtrack (for ppl who are preggers/quirky like Michael Sera)
4. Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III (for poor people and educated ppl who value the cultural relevance of mainstream art 4 'coloured culture')
5. Sara Bareilles, Little Voice (@ single women who r 'not gonna write u a love song' /// the feist of 2k8 without alt-credibility)
6. Once soundtrack (nvr heard of it)
7. Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things (for ppl who are holding on 2 the past)
8. OneRepublic, Dreaming Out Loud (sounds like a band that ppl who wear leather strap wrist bands and metaphorical graphic tees would listen 2)
9. Across The Universe soundtrack (Is this the Justice documentary of the krappie Beatles movie?)
10. Leona Lewis, Spirit (She's apparently big in the UK)
11. Metallica, Death Magnetic (Glad they shut down Napster to get to #11)
12. Radiohead, In Rainbows (Shouldn't have given away their album 4 free. Then they would be at #30)
13. Taylor Swift, Fearless (Is this the girl who the Jonas brothers gangbang?)
14. Mamma Mia! soundtrack (for lonely people)
15. T.I., Paper Trail (Rap fans don't know how to use computers yet. They still listen to the radio. they only read blogs to see pix of street wear. This should prob be #2 behind Lil Wayne)
16. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black (I have still never heard more than 10 seconds of that "Rehab" song and don't believe she is talented. Just want 2 see pictures of her dead body within 2 years. Will blog about them)
17. Vampire Weekend (ppl who buy songs off iTunes read music blogs/periodicals, but don't download illegal mp3s to avoid lawsuits)
18. Taylor Swift (is this the girl who tugs out sugar-free cum from the Jonas Bro?)
19. Death Cab For Cutie, Narrow Stairs (I think meaningful-core is losing marketshare.)
20. Camp Rock soundtrack (Is this the movie about the Jonas Brothers buying a van and starting a website called bangbus.com?)
21. Madonna, Hard Candy (How many songs besides that one song came from this CD?)
22. Colbie Caillat, Coco (nvr heard of her, but I would assume she sounds like Michelle Branch/Vanessa Carlton/Sheryl Crow/Jewel/some other mnstrm skank who can 'play an instrument')
23. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded (She loves to Autotune)
24. Alvin And The Chipmunks soundtrack (David Cross made this movie alt?)
25. Duffy, Rockferry (Why do we take artists who British people like seriously? Same goes for 'The Office.')
26. Jonas Brothers, A Little Bit Longer (Is this the song about having a shorter lifespan cuz u have diabetes?)
27. Carrie Underwood, Carnival Ride (Is she dating that Cowboys Quarterback guy?)
28. Paramore, Riot! (This would have sold more, but the iTunes search engine can't handle punctuation)
29. Disturbed, Indestructible (Is this a Korn sideproject?)
30. Sex And The City soundtrack (Soundtracks are for people who are not connected to 'what's going on in the world')
31. Katy Perry, One Of The Boys (Katy Perry: Proof that an effective marketing firm will ensure that you 'make it')
32. Alicia Keys, As I Am (Is she getting more or less mainstream authentic?)
33. Adele, 19 (h8 brits)
34. High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Gonna miss yall. P0st M0re n00dz)
35. Daughtry (When an album is self-titled and by a male artist, I expect the album art to be a picture of the singer's cock)
36. MGMT, Oracular Spectacular (heard they lost tons of sales to altbros [via hypemachine])
37. Lupe Fiasco, The Cool (miss u Matthew Santos in 2k9//via superstar)
38. Eddie Vedder, Into The Wild (The Pearl Jams woulda made him #1)
39. M.I.A., Kala (all of these sales were in the final quarter of 2008)
40. Mariah Carey, E=MC2 (can't believe those sweet juggs married the host of WILD N OUT)
41. John Mayer, Where The Light Is (heard he is making a duets album with the cast of Friends)
42. Jonas Brothers (waiting 4 them 2 come out in 2k40)
43. Counting Crows, Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings (remember the Gen X album 'Mr. Jones'?)
44. 3 Doors Down (This band is America.)
45. Bob Marley, Legend (I love new Marley albums. Hope he keeps writing new stuff.)
46. Led Zeppelin, Mothership (h8 old music)
47. Weezer (did they combine sales of the Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow albums?)
48. Miley Cyrus, Breakout (most of her sales were at the Disney eMusic store)
49. August Rush soundtrack (nvr heard of this movie)
50. P.S. I Love You soundtrack (nvr heard of this movie)

Do yall use iTunes?
Should I buy more music from iTunes since they give like 80% of profits to the artists?
Should I do blow off my iPhone?

I know yall are rlly interested in how to protect yalls selves when the electro war officially starts. Fortunately, some of the most fashion-forward people in the world are responsible for designing the armor that soldiers will be wearing as we fight for authenticity/bragging rights that our nation is the most relevant electro-country in the world.

You can see the girl above has a protective shell which will protect her from guns, n bombs, n electro bolts n stuff like that. She is kinda keut, but it sucks that u couldn't be in a relationship with her because u couldn't give her hugs (sometimes u just need some1 to be ur embrace now).

I also enjoy this electro soldier in a Pakistani scarf, electro little boots, neon purple pants, & some socks that indicate that she wants 2 kill U.

Are those child predator glasses or aviator glasses? How can u tell the difference between a pilot and a predator these days?

[Photos via GadeMode]

Remember that electro soldier who looked like M. Bison from street fighter?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/p0st-m0re-soliders-from-electro-wars.html

[Photo by TheFriendAttack]
Clearly 'being an electro soldier' is a popular look in 2k8.6. While we are used to the obvious choice of the colonial military coat, I enjoy this soldier from what appears to be some sort of Special Forces unit. I think he has the uniform of some European captain who is sent to colonize/commit genocide in Africa or in miscellaneous European countries filled with Jews, gypsies, and non-blondes.

If you want to be a high ranking soldier who commands respect from his troops during the ELECTRO WARS, you must be willing to do whatever it takes to wipe out innocent villagers/people affiliated with a religion/people who live in a region/people with a certain colour skin. Kind of like that one mean character in Saving Private Ryan/Platoon/Full Metal Jacket/Blackhawk Down/Schindler's List/Jarhead/The Pianist/Donnie Darko.

Hopefully some1 dresses like a Desert Storm era Soldier soon.

They already made the perfect 'kicks' for them.