HIPSTER RUNOFF

A lot of people come 2 my blog and comment with stuff like 'I h8 all of this hipster bull shit. I am so above it and h8 how all of yall r. Nvr want 2 b like u."

But this isn't a blog about hipsters. This is a blog about alt. A lot of people don't know what "alt" means. They are not sure if it is like "alt-rock" from the 90s, or some sort of zany interpretation of "alternative." Alt is authentic. Alt is sillie. Alt is a three simple letters that tie us together. We are alt. We are a part of something bigger than ourselves'.

I received an email from a concerned reader:

I kinda have a problem. My sociology class has been assigned a collective project; to assign twenty specific and significant stereotypes to our school. It was a fairly easy assignment until I was confronted with a question that I honest-to-godspeed did not know how to answer. Everyone was just sort of spitting out their favorite social groups to be written on the board. I finally got my word in for Alt, but it raised a bit of a tumult in the classroom.
People demanded to know what Alt was. I was dumbfounded by their idiocy...but then I realized that I really didn't know what to say.
I described an Alt to them.
I explained what an Altbro looks like, entry-levels too.
I told them about the characteristics of an Authentic Alt.
But I couldn't even provide a decent definition for any of the three.
S0//DESPAIRED//
////EMBRSSD////
/FRUSTRATED/
I've been depressed ever since.
plz help
HOW DO YOU DEFINE "ALT"?

HOW//DO//U//DEFINE//ALT?
AN ESSAY/MEME CONTEST PRESENTED BY THE POPULAR WEBLOG HIPSTER RUNOFF

A lot of people don't know the difference between "HIPSTER" and "ALT."
It is ur job as an informed citizen 2 let the ppl know what the difference is. How is 'alt' different than anything else that has evr come b4?

"Hipster" is a term for mainstream news publications & startup 'progressive' journalistic outlets 2 talk about to cultivate interest in what they are doing with people who use the internet.

Remember that time that Adbusties wrote that article that every1 was s000 'up in arms' abt?
If ur going to write an article/opinion piece about hipsters, u must have phrases like these in ur writing:

• "an army of drones wearing American Apparel"
• "with a can of PBR/sparks in hand"
• "nonchalantly gazing past the DJ"
• [statement about lighting a cigarette]+ [statement about moving hair out of eyes]
• "armed with their parents' money"
• "after reading the latest blog post"
• "coffee shop glistening with the glow of Macbooks"
• "iPods filled with music from __________"
• "blinded me with the brightness of his tshirt"
• "vapid _______"
• "hoping to end up on a party pictures site the next day"
• "after inconspicuously coming out of the bathroom"
• [Anecdote about how some bro doesn't take life seriously]
• [Anecdote about selfishness]
• [Anecdote about unprotected sex]
• [9th grade English class commentary abt 'consumerism']
• 'bohemian'
• 'cannibalize'
• reference to 'Vice Do's and Don'ts'

[Please note that from the years 2000-2015, every journalistic entity will be required to have a progressive opinion piece on the 'hipster' and what it means to 'society' which will cause ppl to be s00 mad abt 'hipsters' (& old people will ask u what a hipster is after they see it).]

Should I go 2 journalism skewl s0 that I can write hardhitting opinion pieces on 'why culture is s000 bad' and how 'things r worse than evr' cuz 'every1 is s00 full of shit' & we r just 'a bunch of consumers' kinda like 'another brick in the wall' but 'gen y thinx they r s00 special' but 'they're not' bc 'they all look the same' but they 'don't even realize it' cuz they 'didn't even g0 2 college' or 'they did but they don't care' and how in the end, 'we all eat at Chili's'?

We/just/want/2/talk/abt/ourselves/&/find/out/who/we/r.

Here is another keut piece about 'hipsters' and how it's 's000 sillie' that 'no1 admits 2 being 1.'

Video may not be viewable in ur RSS reader.
[via SB&TVC]

Remember when the HIPSTER OLYMPICS went viral? (h8 it when memes are no longer viral // miss u)

n e ways...
just trying to say, there is a huuuge difference between "ALT" and "HIPSTER."
We have a chance to get authenticity back from bull shit mainstream labels that don't even capture who we are.
Are yall with me? YES WE CAN.
This is the era of alt. I'm excited.

No more Bush. No more 'hipster.'
More Barry Obammy. More 'alt.'

h8 labels. Just want to be who I really am and transcend labels.

The winner's meme/essay/cmmnt/meaningful vimeo video will be published on the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF. You will also receive a meaningful email from Carles.

"I'm not a hipster. I'm alt."
-Carles, 2k8