~~~LIKE US ON FACEBOOKS~~~
~~~BE MY FRIEND~~~
~~~TAG ME IN FOTOS~~~
~~~INVITE ME 2 EVENTS~~~
'WE'RE ON FACEBOOK--IT'S OFFICIAL'
News. Updates. Wall2Wall.
Recommending kewl buzzbands 2 ur bros.
Let's get social.
Let's update some statuses.
We're finally on The_Social_Network.
Maybe we'll have some 'contests' and make u 'follow' + 'like' 2 be entered in2 it or something 'new and social' like that.
Let's write on eachother's walls. Here is my profile.
It feels great 2 be 'social' now.
I feel like we can finally 'talk' abt life, now.
I wanna be ur friend
Plz 'friend' me.
Let's 'cross streams' and unite.
I wanna share/stream my life with u.
It feels great 2 share this experience with u.
We're finally on Facebooks.
Follow us on twitter @hipsterrunoff!
Feel free 2 chat us on FB chat! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hipster-Runoff-official/194694380545903
Feel free 2 chat us on Twitter_chat @hipsterrunoff
What do yall want 2 see more of on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
▼▼▼▼▼▼▼I have updated▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼
▲▲▲▲▲▲his cover photo▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
I am Jared LetBro.
It wasn't my proudest moment. I'll tell you that much.
It was late. I was just doing my usual routine, where I browse Facebook and resent + hate the people who I have known from my past. Tons of bros, girls bragging about their awesome lives'. Reading about job promotions from one bleak position to another. Seeing photos of lamestreamers who thought it was a good idea to capture their family reunion at Applebee's. Usually, my next stop is browsing internet pornography videos, but tonight, my online sexual behavior patterns got crossed.
I sorta got turned on looking at some pix of this BB that I used to know...
It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll tell you that much. But it was late. And I was alone.
Gotta be honest, there is a specific niche of girls from high school who still have hot friends, go on trips to the beach. They still have their BANGIN bikini bods for a few more years, before they end up getting impregnated by WASP dudes ~3x, and they'll never get that bod back. Sure, I could have watched some 'amateur casting couch' videos with similar girls, but maybe I would let my mind do the fantasizing tonight.
It wasn't just about hotness. Sometimes it is about the nostalgic memory of 'a girl you found hot' during your adolescence. Seeing the girl you had a crush on from 3rd grade, thinking about what your life would have been like if you were together for the last ~20 years. Browsing to 'the hot girl from HS's Facebook page' to find out that she turned into an obvious substance abuser, in a sorta hot, tragic way. Hearing that a girl you went to high school with got implants. Seeing that a chubby girl lost mad weight and has more self esteem to wear slutty seasonal outfits.
Maybe this was normal? I mean, pure pornography trains you to fantasize about women with cartoonish figures who you will never interact with IRL.
It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll tell you that much.
I also navigated to some seasonal sluttie outfit galleries. The bangin bods were on full display, but I'm honestly not much of a role playing bro.
Once again, this is not my proudest moment.
In that dark moment, browsing through the grid of Facebook pages, I did something that I would tell no one about. Sure, I could have navigated to hi-def streaming internet porn, but there was something that pushed me over the edge. Something that made me pleasure myself while looking at the photograph of some one in my extended social network. I guess that's why Zuckerburg is all about tiers of privacy. To make sure every one can shut down 'beat off' access to your photos.
It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll tell you that much.
Srsly tho... Have u evr?
Dear Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, and Facebook+Instagram staff and shareholders,
On behalf of a coalition of early adopter instagram users, downloading your app to our phones back when even the darkest, poorest minorities were 'priced out' of iPhone ownership due to many classist barriers to entry like 'high device price' and 'overpriced AT&T contract', we'd like to say, "WTF."
R u frigging kidding me, bros? First you let all of those Android lamestreamers on to the network, now ur telling all of the Facebook lamestreamers about the app?
I downloaded the Instagram app on my iPhone a long, long fricking time ago, before 'apps' were even 'that cool.' And now Instagram is being sold for $1 billion dollars? Do you even know how many Doritos Tacos Locos that will buy?
This is friggin BS. I'm not even going to go into monetary compensation because I've taken some of the sickest photos on this platform, truly building the Instagram brand, utilizing my authority as a tastemaker and a trendsetter amongst my microgroup to help users #adopt and #flock to the instagram trend. I believe all early adopter users are due a small stake in the company. We're the ones who added value, picture by picture, filter by filter.
But I'll let that go.
PLEASE MAKE INSTAGRAM what it once was. PLEASE build a time machine, Zuckerbro... Take us back in time when it felt like a VIP community.
U KILLED the friggin brand, Zuckerberg. Instagram is the new Farmville. Sure, tons of lamestreamers will be filtering their lives', but you've lost the 'cool'. Trust me. I know about Facebook. I saw the movie. I made a joke about 'a billion dollars' [via Justin Timberlake Sean Parker voice] when I heard the news.
At this point, I wish the Winklevoss twins were running the show. By now, they probably would have invested in pornographic live streaming technology. Sure, the Facebook would have lost some users, but it would be legit 'cool', in a dark way, sorta like the film '8MM', starring Nicholas Cage. Everything is dying. Facebook used to be a relevant place for Ivy League schoolers 2 hang. But now it's where all these fat ppl tag themselves in 'going out' photos, wearing cheap whore clothes from Forever 21 and Express Men.
Listen, I get it. I'm an early adopter. Things change. But this is something that CANNOT change. Facebook is TRASHING OUR RIGHTS, man. Google and Facebook know more about me than I even know. Next thing u know, Google+ is gonna buy Tumblr/Pinterest. The internet is going to HELL. It's OVER.
Look at the Instagram CEO, lookin' all proud. Sitting on his pile of money, probably wiping his ass with $2 bills. He has it all. U gotta give him props... but on the other hand, should he have believed in Instagram so much that it would one day be worth $1000000 billion dollars?
But srsly tho... This is effing terrible news. I am deleting my account off the internet forever. Ugh. Eff. It's all over.
Maybe I'll just buy a real camera, and I'll take up real photography now. I don't know. Things have to change. I can't believe u did this to me. It truly feels like the end of something special, like the time Myspace died or something.
In conclusion, Thanks a Lot, ZuckerBro.
Early Adopter Bro who believes that his user experience is more special than any1 else's on any website, platform, app, social network, or tech gadget
FOLLOW CARLES ON INSTAGRAM! USERNAME: CARLESHASHTAG!
Katy Perry visited the headquarters of Facebook, the popular social networking website on the internet. As u can see, Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook CEO 'abused' his billionaire status and position of power 2 lure Katy Perry 2 FBHQ. I know tons of web tech companies have 'workout' and 'cafeteria' facilities on their business campuses, but Techcrunch/ValleyWag cannot confirm that Facebook has a 'sex dungeon' installed.
Do u think Mark Zuckerberg just wanted 2 ride Katy Perry style slutwaves?
Do u think he is writing a followup movie after the success of the Social Network?
Do u wish u were rich enough 2 bring ur sexy pop icon fantasies 2 life?
Do u think his GF was 'pissed' that Katy Perry came down 2 the office, and he looked 'reeallly excited' 2 see her?
If u hugged Katy Perry, would she be able 2 feel ur semi/fully erect peen?
"Yes, I'm worth several billion dollars. Who is the dude ur dating now? Russell Brand. Yeah, he's not rlly that rich. Or funny."
"This bro is worth a lot 2. U should have at least married a record executive."
Zuckerbro taking her back 2 the office 2 have a 'closed door meeting.'
Rlly just hope that 1 day I can be rich enough 2 'make ur fantasies come true' [via indecent proposals]?
Is Mark Zuckerberg trying to raise his celeb status by dating a celeb?
Is it unfair 2 think that Katy Perry was engaging in sexual favors in exchange 4 money/more FB friends just because she is in the slutwave genre?
Why do celebs visit social networking HQ busines campuses? 2 get more friends/followers?
Or do make the employees feel like they 'work in a special place' that is way different than the traditional 'stuck in ur cubicle' job?
Does Mark Zuckerbro need 2 stop trying so hard 2 be famous?
Should Mark Zuck leave his GF 2 try 2 band some Grade A famous A$$?
Facebook is a popular social networking website where you can update ur status, talk abt buzzbands with ur friends, and discover new bands and humans who are in2 the same thing as u like a myspace. After the success of Mark Zuckerberg's documentary "The Social Network", they are looking to build their brand and make more cash. They seem to be launching a new 'merch' store at facebook.com/mark_zuckie's_general_store.
Some ppl are all like "Cmon Mark Zuck... U already make enough money... U don't need merch $$$$...' but he is probably like "Eff yall! My kicks can make u jump higher."
Do u think these shoes are 'hell kewl'? Do u think Facebook will purchase the human rights to LeBron James and make him wear that shit?
Should I buy the facebook shoes?
Do u have any ideas 4 facebook to make 'mad bank' and 'extend their brand'?
Does facebook make money?
Should myspace respond by creating shoes in a partnership with TOMS?
Should Google 'respond' by making an official snuggie?
R u tired of web 2.0 companies launching 'merch stores'?
Is Zuckerberg 'trying 2 hard' 2 make 'mad bank'?
Facebook is a place where bros, alts, mainstreamers, and lamestreamers live their lives', coming home 2 the computer every night to reaffirm their social_network, ensuring that 1 day they will grow old and live in the_suburbs.
Anyways, have yall heard of the buzzband 'Crystal Castles.' Just found out that one of my best friends on the facebok vibes out 2 them. really weird/random!
First I embedded a Chrystal Castles song
then some 1 was like ' I <3 that song'
then some 1 was like 'no I <3 this song'
then some1 else was like 'i am DLing one from the internet! I hope it is good'
then some1 was like 'Alice Glass effing rules! Love her'
then some 1 was like 'have u heard of shitty band that sounds awesome cuz i have entry level ears?'
then some 1 was like 'no, should I DL them?'
then they posted a youtube embed link
then the entry level was like 'this effing rules'
then every1 was like 'Let's meet up and go 2 the Crystal Castles concert yall and be friends 4eaeaeae!'
then some1 was like 'I have a better idea... Let's make eachother mix CDs and listen to them as we drive around in our mid-sized, moderately sporty sedans. Yay 4 mix CDs!'
Do lamestreamers 'get' Crystal Castles?
Is Crystal Castles 4 entrylevs?
Do u find out abt new music on facebook?
Do lamestreamers eventually find out abt every band, or is there a way to be dark/unmarketable/unapproachable 2 prevent them from liking a buzzband [via the SALEM theory]?
Just read some blog post that 'uncovered' that Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple) and Mark Zuckerberg (CEO of Facebook) have recently met in order to have dinner and discuss throwing down some sick collabs. It seems like after the hit movie "The Social Network", every1 is lining up to learn more about the webstartup Facebook.com, because people now see its potential as a place for friends. Many 'tech blog insiders'
Do u think Steve Jobs is trying to 'use' Facebooks to make more ppl use his PING?
Do u think that if Apple buys facebook, there will finally be a Facebook app on the iPhone?
Do u think Stevie and Mark just bought some escorts and had crazy billionaire sex with them?
Jobs and Facebook founder/CEO Mark Zuckerberg met for dinner the other day. Many presumed that they were discussing Facebook Connect and Ping integration, but what if it were something more, like Apple buying Facebook? Kafka thinks that Apple acquiring Facebook makes sense because Facebook doesn't compete with Apple in any significant way, and Facebook is something that Apple couldn't compete against even if it wanted to. Plus, Facebook is already competing with Google, "which has to make Jobs like it even more," Kafka argues.
I <3 my iPhone and I spend all day talking 2 ppl on Facebook, so I kinda hope this happens. Not really for the advancement of technology/social media, but just for my own personal use. Feel like this means facebook would last 4evr.
What would Apple buying Facebook lead to? Every Facebook user would probably automatically have an iTunes Store account. FaceTime chat could be integrated into Facebook chat, potentially leading to increased sales of iOS devices. If Apple continues down the road of using not only phone numbers, but email addresses and eventually Facebook IDs as designated FaceTime "phone numbers," then 500 million users would already have a FaceTime ID to use when all telephony goes VoIP.
Do u think Apple+FB could be 'more relevant' / important 2 society than Google?
If u had billions of dollars, would u just chill 4 the rest of ur life instead of being all greedy and trying to make more money?
If this happens, can they make a sequel to the Social Network called "Teaming up with my Apple Bros to Take My Soci Net 2 the Next Lev'?
Should I try to raise $25 billion so I can buy Facebook?
Apple has the cash to buy Facebook outright (Facebook is valued at around US $25-35 billion), but will they?
Do u know how much money Apple makes per iPhone?
Is Apple going 2 be around forever, or are iPods just a trend that ppl are going 2 get tired of?
Do u have an iPhone or an Android?
Can any1 take down Google?
Will Facebook + Apple be obsolete in 2-10 years?
Should Google acquire Myspace/twitter/4square?
Should youtube acquire Pixar?
Should Apple acquire Sony?
As yall probs already know, Lamestreamers are everywhere, learning more about alternative culture, assimilating 2 vibe 2 indie bands just to enhance their personal brands 2 be kewl. One place lamestreamers like to hang out is the Facebook--a popular online dating service that gained popularity after the popular movie 'The Social Network'.
Anyways, just saw these 2 lamestreamers 'invade' my feed, singing some Arcade Fire lyrics.
First, some lamestreamer tries to be 'deep' by saying she is "in The_Suburbs" [via status message], letting ppl know that she identifies hard with the Arcade Fire brand. Wonder if most people saw this update and were like, 'ya--we all live in the suburbs--we're all lamestreamers.'
Then some lamestreamer is all like 'la la la la. Suburbs, yall. That's where I live. They wrote an album abt my hometown.'
Then a new lamestreamer is like "Mountains beyond mountains is the best mp3 evr!"
Some effing mainstreamer comes along and asks if every1 is 'high', because indie lyrics make u sound rlly effed up.
The Lamestreamer from The_Suburbs is like, "Yes. We are high. High off the Arcade Fire's live performance. It was a moving, beautiful experience that I cannot convey inside of facebook. U simply have to see them if u want to understand."
Next, the mainstreamer is like "huh? What? An arcade is on fire? What is that? s000 confused yall."
Then the lamestreamer provides her with a youtube link, exposing her to the new, kewl buzzband the Arcade Fire.
Feel kinda sad witnessing this. Like we just watched the process of an indie band going mainstream on a micro level or something. Just got super sad on the inside.
Facebook is a place where u talk with ppl abt life, and sometimes during life, u listen to buzzbands. U can use facebook 2 share buzzbands, memories, tag photos, and even get into a real relationships with real ppl.
Anyways, sometimes bros on facebook 'brag' abt kewl bands that they've heard. Not just sometimes, but every day. When u go 2 sleep, ppl talk abt buzzbands.
then some other bro is like "Oh ya, u gotta check out Animal Collective. Just heard of the Shins, but
Then a bro is like "I listen 2 that shit when I drive around suburbia.'
Then a bro is all like "SHARE MORE BUZZBANDS WITH ME YALL"
Then an irrelevant bro recommends a shitty band. Boooring
The ultimate bro closes out the meaningful part of the convo by saying "Yes, Phoenix is pure pop brilliance... Alas... However, Animal Collective have become the greatest band of our generation. They are kinda like our generation's Nirvana. Panda Bear is Kurt Cobain, Avey Tare is Pat Smear, Dave Grohl is Geologist, and Deakin is the other bro. I love indie music, and I am an authentic fan.'
Really wish I had more facebook friends who were down 2 share cutting edge ideas on indie music on the Facebooks.
Who is the indie version of Nirvana?
Is Phoenix a French version of the Shins?
Do u talk about buzzbands on facebook?
Are Lamestreamers taking over ur facebook minifeed wall?
Yes, I'm worth a billion dollars
Yall can go suck it.
I made facebook
with my bare hands
What the eff have u done with ur life?
I have a hit documentary abt my life.
WTF have u done with ur shitty life?
U just use my service
while I'm a fucking baller who owns ur info
See u in Cancun bitches
Not for vacay
but for when I actually buy that city/island/peninsula
My movie 'The Social network' kills it
Sorta like the newest Michael Moore documentary
Yall know u want to know abt me
Oh whaddup JT? U killin it or what son?
Yeah, I'm richer than u brah
I srsly wipe my ass with ur lifetime income
Have fun with that
Look at these fucking dunces
If they only knew the real story
If they really knew what it was like to have
genuine baller ass status
Go see my documentary: The Social Myspaces
Tweet abt it yall
Get ur social media on
I'm Mark Zuckerberg
and I'm effing crushing it
See all yall poor ppl later
If u can't see my documentary,
Wipe ur ass with a $1 bill today, and pretend it is worth a million dollars then u will know what it is like 2 be me.
So many social tools exist to help humans discover relevant bands. Utilizing social networks, iPhone, and android applications, any1 can identify songs, and let people know what you are listening to. As advanced as we get as a society, nothing beats word-of-mouth marketing, even if it doesn't come out of ur mouth, and instead ur taste manifests itself in a meaningful status update.
It seems like fans of the entry-level band Matts and Kims wanted 2 let every1 know that they were pumped about the cutesy song "Day Light."
Here is the music video so u can familiarize urself with the entry level indie brand of the song while u read the convo.
First a bro starts singing the song, being like "lalallala."
then another bro comes along, and is all like "lalalalala pt 2. loves this song. We are bffs and we love great music!"
Then Bro #1 sings some more, and is all like "lalalala. I know the words. Loveeesss it!"
A new bro comes out of nowhere and is like, "I have great taste in music, and I must say, this song is brilliant."
Then Bro #1 is like "U've heard of the Matt and Kims? Thought u were a lamestreamer. haha!"
Then the bro responds and is like "Matt and Kim... every1 has heard of them. But if u really want to know, the first time I heard their song, I had to Shazzams it in order to find out who it was. I went home, downloaded some more of their songs off iTunes, and needless to say that I am a fan. Thanks Shazam!"
Then a bro comes out of nowhere and is like "WTF IS SHAZAM, YALL? I NEED EFFING HELP FINDING NEW MP3s and BUZZBANDS. helllpppp meeee"
Some1 else comes along and says "Listen to Edward Sharpe and also check out Pashy Pits and Posty serve"
Some1 finally answers the question about Shazam, and is like "It's an iPhone app that can help u identify songs."
Then some1 is like "ugghhhh h8 all of these hippie-star bands. Just trying to find buzzbands and cutesy MP3s. Eff life. Just wish I knew who the Matt and Kims are. Laters yall!"
Do yall use Shazam 2 find artists?
Do these bros seem chill, or like huge lamestreamers?
Does technology beat 'humans' when it comes to work AND music referral?
Is Matt & Kim mad entry level?
Do yall ever see lamestreamers talking abt 'indy muzaks' on facespace?
Many indie music fans are 'divided' on the state of many buzzbands as they evolve into mainstream bands, but no band is more divisive than MGMT. Their first album AnalBro Spectacular was hella chill, with tons of blogworthy hits like "KIDS", "Electric Eel" and "It's Time 2 Pretend, yall." However, their sophomore album "Congratulations" really let down the entire blogosphere.
It seems like a few bros on facebook had a really progressive discussion about the artistic merits of MGMT.
Bro #1 throws down a sweet youtube of the song "Electric Feel", and is all like 'this song is the shit.'
Another chill bro 'likes' the status, aligning his brand with the song.
Then another bro comes along and is like 'This song is fucking awesome. Gonna check out this band.
Bro #1 'gloats' and is all like, 'Yeah. I know. They are the shit. I am the shit.'
An authentic bro then comes out of nowhere, and makes it clear that MGMT 'sucks' now. He says "Listen, MGMT used to be OKAY, but now KIDS is overplayed by tons of lamestreamers, and their new album is fucking bullshit poop stains. However, I love what the band is all about, and they have had their moments. I have a true love hate relationship with MGMT.'
It seems like facebook offered some sweet bros the opportunity to reflect on MGMT. Facebook is a great place where humans can really unite and talk about common interests, relevant issues, and buzzbands. Peer-to-peer connxns really 'beat the shit' out of even face-to-face encounters because u get to really think about what u say before u type it out and submit the form.
Is MGMT 'awesome'?
Is talking abt MGMT on facebook 'authentic'?
Which bro do u agree with?
Do u talk abt buzzbands on Facebooks?
How many years will it take the blogosphere to 'come to terms' with MGMT's career arc?
Facebook is an unlimited goldmine for finding excerpts of humans 'connecting' on facebook. U can get vulnerable about anything--life, love, relationship status, and even connecting with other humans while u talk abt buzzbands. A lot of people find out about kewl bands and kewl songs using the 'embed' function on facebook.
In this lame wall to wall minifeed status convo, some entry-level alt 'discovers' MGMT's hit song "KIDS." The rest...is facebook historie.
At first, an entry level embeds MGMT's "KIDS", and is all like "I know I am going out on a limb cuz this is way different and unique... but I kinda like it. Might look more in2 this kind of music. PS: My sis told me abt it. She's so alt."
The 4 people 'like' it, making it clear, "Yeah, I've heard that song, bitches."
Then some1 is like, "Yeah, I've been vibing 2 this song for soo long. Saw them live, it was weird, but just wanted to put it on the record that I have known abt this song 4 so long.
Another alt comes along, and is like "Oh shit! This song is amazing! thnx 4 posting. UR the effing best. OMG jammin out hard."
Some other banter /inside jokes are thrown down, but then out of nowhere the ultimate alt shows up.
The bro really 'drops the hammer' on the convo, and says "If u like MGMT, try pashy pit and the postal services, yall! Both effing sleigh/kill it. U will not regret downloading their mp3s from iTunes. Ur gonna like the way u look--I guarantee it!"
Really feel like I just 'connected' with the spirit of rock n roll. So many people say that the modern indie music sphere is 'rotten' and 'despicable', but they don't witness this human-to-human interaction where bffs can recommend bands and share music so easily.
Really want to check out all of these bands.
Have u heard MGMT -KIDS.mp3?
Are these fans gonna be 'pissed' when they hear MGMT's album "Congratulations" in 4 years?
Do u miss the "KIDS" era of MGMT?
Does Pashy Pit sound like MGMT?
Does Pashy Pit sound like poop?
MGMT = Pashy Pit = poop ?
Is Pashy Pit the ultimate mainstreamer indie band?
Is it still authentic to 'recommend' ppl 2 the Postal Service?
Are all of these bands 'the shit'?
Do yall know of any other kewl bands I should check out?
So many alts are still discovering music every day, utilizing facebook to have meaningful discourse about which bands are buzzworthy and which bands are 'pure shit.' It's so weird how there are so many new services u can use to discover music that u like based on what u've heard/ur previous listening history, but even though computers are smart, no1 knows u better than ur bros.
Here is a convo between bros where they try to talk about the post-hardcore altino act The Mars Volta. Have u heard of them, or are they too ____ 4 u?
First, a bro is like 'Dude. Mars Volta is bad ass.'
Then another bro comes along and is like 'they are weird.'
A third bro comes out of nowhere and is like 'they are defaneatley interesting, but i have only heard 1 of they're mp3s. Will have 2 DL some more.'
Then an authentic bro comes along and is like 'dude, Mars Volta is inauthentic. At The Drive in was their first band before they totesally broke up and tried to go mainstream [via SPARTA]'
The initial bro is like, "That's kewl, gotta check out their discography. Love this facebook thing."
Finally, a snarky alt comes along, and is like, "Have u mother fuckers ever heard of the band The Vampire Weekends? See yall on the blogs, bitches!"
Gotta love indie self-aware bros 'killing it' in the facebook wall-2-wall scene, making fun of inauthentic post-hardcore fans who just want to listen to dudes yelling into microphones.
Is post-hardcore authentic?
Do u ever see lamestreamers talking about music on facebook?
Are these bros 'inauthentic'?
What kind of ppl listen to the Mars Volta?
Is it chill 2 make fun of ppl on facebook if they don't realize it?
Was that bro 'making fun of their lack of awareness of buzzbands' or is he 'honestly recommending' the Vampire Weekend because it sounds a lot like the Mars Volta?
Was recently 'refreshing my minifeed wall' on Facebook, and saw two bros talking about buzzbands. Facebook really has emerged as 'the ultimate organic hype machine', a place where people share, find, discuss, and stream new music. Really pumped to connect with bros, talk about music, share new buzzbands + MP3s. Wonder if PING is gonna make facebook wall-2-walls about buzzbands 'totally irrelevant.'
Anyways, it seems like 2 alts were talking about Pashy Pit, and then some bro had to 'intervene' and let him know Pash Pit is mad entry level.
First, a bro is like 'aww hell yea! Loves the Pash Pit.' He invites every1 to let him know that he is awesome because he loves Passion Pit.
His best altbro comes in and is like "Dude. that band is entry level, u gotta ride chillwaves with Washed out. Really ashamed 2 know u right now. Might unfriend ur ass."
Then the Pashy pit alt is kinda embarrassed, and is like, "u sure they are as good as Passion Pit? Plz don't unfriend me."
Washed Bro is like, "They are damn effing good. U gotta drop that Pash Pit shit, brah. They aren't even real indie artists--they just exist to score commercials with quirky music."
It seems like the Passion Pit alt is kinda embarrassed, and is just like, "Okay, I'll check them out. Sorry. TTYL I guess. Bye"
Kinda seems fun that an altbro cared enough about his bro to make sure that he evolved beyond the entry level sounds of Passion Pit. Feel like maybe 'true bro-hood' is all about making sure ur bros are as relevant as u. Would be ashamed of my bros if they 'publicly tweeted' their allegiance/fandom abt a crappy buzzband.
Did yall ever have to have a 'chillwave intervention' with ur bros?
Did u ever have to teach ur bros that the Arcade Fire was 'entry level 2k5 shit'?
Have u ever had to let ur bros know that their 'taste in music sux'?
Do u feel like u have 'the best taste' in ur group of friends?
How do u find out about new music: Blogs, websites, or by 'lurking' wall 2 wall convos?
Do u h8 entrylevelers who 'brag' about the 'kewl indie music they listen 2' on facebook?
Facebook is a popular social networking site where humans connect to share their lives' together. In addition, conspiracy theorists say that Facebook is a datamining experiment constructed by the CIA. N e ways... facebook is mainly a place where sweet people share their thoughts, consumer interests, and personal information. A lot of people like to talk about new indie buzzbands on facebook to make their personal brands seem like they are 'fun', 'in-the-know' human beings who are on the bleeding edge of culture.
It seems like a few free spirited entry levs had a kewl convo about a series of indie buzzbands. Have yall heard about any of these bands? Do u want to be a 'hippie' and listen to them at a music festival or what?
At first, some bro is like '<3 Pashy Pit... wanna be a hippie and listen 2 them.'
Then some other alt is like 'yea! let's wear tie dye... Gonna put this on our bucket list!'
Then they vow to listen to Vampire Weekend, MGMT, and some band called 'Neon Trees', which must be some sort of Neon Indian for mtv2 tweens band.
NOTE: Just listened to the Neon Trees, they sound 'hella gay'
N e ways, then 1 alt is like 'check out this band called Natalie Portman's Shaved Head. effing loves it!'
Then the other entry lev is like 'huh? what a weird band name. Cannot be forreal.'
The alt has to be like, 'no, forreal, look it up on wikipedia_space/music.html because they are a real band.'
At the end, every1 seems mad pumped to be alive, sharing buzzbands in the modern indie era. One day, we will all go to a music festival together, drop acid, and listen to synthy, whimsical indie bands while wearing 'hippie' gear.
Do yall talk about buzzbands on facebook?
Have u heard of MGMT/Neon Pit/Passion Weekend/ Vampire Trees / Indian Passionate Weekend?
Do u h8 when entry levelers 'ruin' once-relevant buzzbands, or is it a natural part of the band life-cycle that u have accepted?
R u pissed at 2k10 and the lack of authentic buzzbands?
N e ways, gotta go listen to some Neon Trees. Hope they collab with Passion Pit and write 'the queerest synth pop alt song' in the history of the world.
See yall later,
the neon tree bro's haircut
It seems like Phoenix is 'the most mainstream indie band in the world', possibly right behind the Arcade Fires. A few mainstream sports bros had a sweet facebook convo about a band called Phoenix. Have yall heard of them? Are they too underground for ur bro brand, or has Phoenix gone 'more mainstream than ever'?
It seems like a college bro first starts out the convo by saying he 'aced' his calculus class, and is vibing out to Phoenix until it is time to drink brews and watch live sports.
Then a confused bro is like 'Huh? Phoenix? Is that the guy from Linkin Park's solo project?'
College bro sends out a youtube link to the hit Phoenix song "1901."
Linkin Park bro is then like "Oh ya... heard that shit on the NHL 2k10 video game, bitches."
Finally, a totally alt sports bro chimes in and says "Matt and Kim is waay better than Phoenix, yall."
How do u feel about sports bros knowing about Phoenix [via video games]?
Do u ever get indie bands mixed up with Linkin Park?
Are sports bros the 'silent consumers' or indie music?
Are sports bros 'the next generation' of cool dads?
Do bands reach new audiences when they license their music to video games + movies + commercials?
Should Phoenix put out a new album so they can outsell Vampire Weekend?
Will Phoenix's next album sell more albums than the Arcade Fire, or are they 'too French'?
Did yall ace ur calculus class, or was it not required for your design school program? [via math not being for 'creative types']
From what I understand, Warped Tour is sort of like 'the Hot Topic' of music festivals. They sort of appeal to the whole 'emo', 'screamo', 'alt rock', 'goth', 'dark', 'skater' tween demographic. I think a lot of those weird dark retail alts are pretty into that music where people are yelling, then singing in lil emo voices are the same people who find Owl City to be 'the deepest band in the world.' N e ways...WARPED TOUR seems like the kind of 'festival' that travels across the country, stopping in high density suburban tween alt communities to perpetuate the 'purgatory alt' brand. Sorta like the place where lil Mexis have chest tattoos, v-necks, and 'scene haircuts.'
N e ways, a couple of Screamo Alts had a convo about how they are 'pumped' abt Warped tour coming 2 town.
Initially, a screamo looking bro 'brags' that he is going to WARPED TOUR.
Several people then 'like' this status update to brand themselves with Warped Tour
A bro then claims that it will be 'amazingly brutal' in a hardcore inspiring kind of way. Tons of moshing probs.
A few people say that they are 'jealous.'
The original bro who posted the status update, the 'brags' about the festival lineup, and how 'sick' it is going 2 be.
At the tail end of the thread, a bro and some girl get 'testy' about which bands are worth seeing. They both claim that certain bands are 'awesome' and others aren't 'all that. It seems like in the end, they just 'agree to disagree', but the bro is still 'a pimp baller' cuz he gets to go to Warped Tour.
This facebook thread is kinda like indie rock music discussions. Some people 'love' some buzzbands that are people think are 'absolute shit.' U know the old saying..."One man's buzzband is another man's poopy fart noises." -Carles, 2010
It doesn't matter what kind of music u listen 2--every1 is gonna have opinions on what they <3 and what they h8. Wish we could all get along, and vibe out to all kinds of music, but then again, maybe if I truly believed in music equality, then it would make my taste less influential + the soundtrack of my life less meaningful.
Wish screamo retail alts would stop listening to that garbage, though. Wish they could understand that they are 'trapped' in lower middle class suburban culture, and that they can 'free their minds' and pursue something more authentic in the indiesphere. Honestly feel like every time I blog, I am on a 'social mission', on a quest for buzzband authenticity.
Have yall ever been 2 Warped Tour?
Is it mad authentic alt?
Do they have skateboarders AND screamo bands?
Have u heard of Attack Attack or Confide?
What is a good name for type of alt who attends Warped Tours?
Do people who go to Warped Tour shop at Pacific Sun, Hot Topic, Black Fly, or Hollister?
Or do they wear a 'pupu platter' of weird retail alt clothes and accessories?
Will Shaun White/Tony Hawk win a gold medal at the next Warped tour?
Do u think CONFIDE will play their cover of the Postal Service's "Such Great Heights"?
miss the freckle in yalls eye....
The Social Network is some new film that looks tells the 'epic story' about how Mark Zuckerberg created/stole Facebook. It seems like it 'cannot be serious', like some sort of modern dramatic mockumentary or something. Possibly was made for the Lifetime Movie Network. It seems like some 'huge joke', like something that is supposed to appeal to tween bros, and give them dreams of dropping out of college after creating 'the next big internet social tool.'
Do u think this movie trailer seems 'super deep and emotional'? Does the emo choir cover of Radiohead's "Creep" make it seem mad alt/indie?
DEEP MOVIE POSTER
Apparently it is directed by "David Fincher" who directed the alt films Fight Club and Se7en [via Brad Pitt]. Feel like maybe he shoulda had Brad Pitt play Zuckerberg in this movie so that more women would come see this shit. Maybe even put Angelina Jolie in there and write in a 'fuck scene.' Possibly even give their 3rd world adopted kids some 'facetime' too. But I guess tons of tweens are gonna go see this to 'feel deep', and feel like they 'really get' facebook every time they log in. It will be kinda like when a rich lady wears a blood diamond, and 'values it more' because she understands that human rights were violated just so she could have her jewelry.
Feel like it is always a bad sign for a movie when you put Justin Timberlake in it. Don't really care how 'talented' he is, or how sweet his songs are. Just seems like a way to make sure females accidentally see it, thinking he is gonna sing at some point during the movie
Feel like Zac Efron shoulda played Zuckbro, and maybe it could have been a 'musical.' Maybe get the Twilight Cast + the High School Musical cast + the Harry Potter cast, and let their brands sell the movie.
Have always thought Zuckbro was mad chill. Seems like they make him out to be an unchill bro in this movie who 'fucks his bros over.' Wish I knew the real story. Feel like any bro who is always down to 'hoard tons of data about consumers' and 'get mad hits' will always be chill in my book.
Wonder if M.I.A. shoulda married him since she only marries billionaires.
Here is another 'trying to be deep and edgy' trailer. Bet it looks mad sweet when on the big screen when ur about to watch Toy Story 3.
Do u think this film looks 'amazing', 'insightful' and 'deep'?
Do u want to see this movie?
Do u think u and ur bros are more likely to start a successful web tool or a buzzband?
Are yall more into Facebook, Myspace, ConnectU, twitter, or friendster?
Is this movie going to be 'smart and informative' or is it just a 'shock piece' that tries to make the normal trajectory of business success seem 'super tragic'?
Do people care about 'the story behind facebook' or do they just want to share their stupid lives' with their stupid friends looking at stupid pix of every1 doing stupid things all day?
Is facebook 'the new Bible'?
When will we see the story of TOM [via Myspace]?
Facebook is a tool where people talk about life, and other people read about their lives', then other people comment, and u feel like u have friends on the internet who care about u and want to get to know about u and what u like so sometimes u can go out with them in real life and take pix them post them and tag them, then other people will see those pix and will be like, 'o kewl they must be friends. saw them tagged 2gether in a few photos and blowing up my minifeed with wall2walls.'
Anyways, facebook is also a place where mainstreamers talk about indie buzzbands. Due to social networking buzz, tons of previously undiscovered buzzbands are getting 'tons of coverage.' Here is another example of some mainstreamers talking about the 'totally indie' band Phoenix
It seems like mainstreamer #1 found out about Phoenix from MTV.
then mainstreamer #2 was like 'nah bro, heard about them on the OC [via California here come]'
then mainstreamer #1 was like 'oh i feel rlly mainstream. do u know any other good bands'
then mainstreamer #2 got in a time machine and said 'the shins and modest mouse kill it.'
then an altstreamer comes out of nowhere and is like 'YALL ARE FUCKING MAINSTREAMERS.'
finally, every1 simultaneously said 'we luv indie rawk.'
Do yall talk about buzzbands on facebook?
Have u picked up sweet recommendations from facebook?
Whenever a buzzband releases a new mp3 do you 'share' that shit to look cool?
Have you seen any mainstreamers talking about buzzbands on facebook?
Do u get pissed when mainstreamers find out about indie buzzbands?
Is Phoenix the ultimate modern mainstream indie band?
Facebook is a popular social network that 99% of people in the Western World utilize. After the World Cup in South Africa, more Africans will probably get on facebook/twitter just to be able to find out what is buzzing outside of their microvillages. The facebook web tool is something that u can use 2 talk with ur friends, tag photos, and even 'sext' if u have mobile settings activated.
N e ways....It seems like 2 lamestreamers / mainstreamers on the facebook have started 2 use the tool to share kewl new buzzbands. In the following screen grab, u can see that one friend 'recommends the kewl new band called Phoenix' to another lamestreamer.
It seems like 1 friend tries to recommend songs, but the titles are 'so far out' that the other mainstreamer gets confused.
Then the mainstreamer realizes 'oh ya, heard all that shit on vh1.'
Then they both say they 'listen to Phoenix when they wake up' to start the day with positive buzzband vibes.
Seems like Phoenix is 'the ultimate pop music', with sounds that every1 can relate to, and a 'French pop brand' that every1 is programmed to think is 'totally buzzworthy.' Really just wish I could be a mainstreamer who was still 'excited to hear new music'--feel like I have already 'mastered' the 'art of the buzzband harvest' and there aren't many genuine thrills abt it any more. Just wish I had friends who were 0% 'self-aware' and would talk about buzzbands with me on social nets.
Have u heard of Phoenix?
On a scale from 0 to 10, how mainstream is phoenix?
Should I started watching VH1 to learn about more kewl buzzbands?
Should I talk about buzzbands on facebook with my bffs?
Do yall find out about sweet recommendations on facebook by people who 'post shit' to their minifeed / wiki wall?
Do yall ever see any lame wall to wall convos on facebook about buzz bands and alt trends?
FACEBOOK WALL-2-WALL STATUS UPDATE CONVO
Facebook is a popular social network where people have obnoxious convos to brand themselves as 'cool.' It seems
Their convo first starts off with 'disbelief' that Phoenix, an 'indie band' was played on the mainstream radio.
The second phase of their conversation documents their 'relief', as they have already experienced the band live, making sure that they comfort one another since one of their fave bands is now mainstream. Tickets will be limited now that 'every1 knows abt them.'
In the epic third act of their conversation, they compliment one another's taste in music, branding their taste together, letting people know that they share meaningful indie music experiences together. They sort of 'let go' of Phoenix at this point, knowing that they are no longer an undiscovered buzzband any more.
Finally, they close the wall to wall with a little bit of love, making sure every1 in their network knows that they have an authentic bond of love that has been strengthened with the power of indie music.
Do yall talk about indie music on facebook?
What do u do to bond with ur friends on the net?
Is this an 'ass hole' type of convo?
Do u use facebook?
Do u still listen to Wolfgang Amadeus?
Do yall miss 2k9, when we took buzz albums for granted, like they could be released every 2 weeks?
After a 'hectic week of memes' generated by M.I.A., she continues to fling out controversial memes to meme her meme to the top of all memes in the music memesphere. In a 'controversial' interview with some blog magazine, M.I.A. makes the claim that both google and the facebook website were designed and developed by the American government.
“Anybody who is called the government is right. And anybody who isn’t called the government is not right… And you know, all governments are connected to Google, and all governments can shift their search engines so only what they want you to see comes up… I want kids to be aware of this digital circumstance… Everyone on the Internet is like, “Oh my God, come and join Facebook!” They’re all so optimistic… and really, everyone is fucking you up behind the screens. And I don’t like that. It makes it difficult for me to interact with my fans knowing that. Google and Facebook were developed by the CIA, and when you’re on there, you have to know that.”
Wonder if she's right. Wonder if the CIA designed and developed facebook to capture terrorists. Wonder if you can use google to find out who googles 'how to bomb shit?' 'where do u buy bombs from the Iraqians' and 'will brown ppl kill America?'
Feel like maybe giving up privacy on the internet is a good thing, just as long as they keep us safe, able to use the internet to read blogs, masturbate to pornography, masturbate to hot ppl on facebook, and to masturbate to twitter lifestreams.
Do u think MIA 'knows what she is talking about' or is she 'a dumb ass' who needs to put 'some fast food in her mouth' like the rest of America?
Is Facebook bad 4 society?
Is Google part of a government ponzi /pyramid / data mining scheme?
Are facebook + google both more powerful than the government?
Do Google + Facebook extract value by 'controlling humans' or just by learning their habits + selling analytical consumergraphical data?
Should MIA host Dateline NBC/60 Minutes/The View?
Is M.I.A. trying '2 hard' 2 be controversh?
Should I deactivate my facebook and google account?
Does M.I.A. use friendster for social networking and dogpile/askjeeves for searching?
XX BONUS LAME QUOTE BY MIA:
M.I.A. on having a cousin who hung out with Tupac before he went mainstream
Her teenage years in Los Angeles.
"I was always going out to LA because my cousin lived there, and she knew all the Bloods and Crips. So I was hanging out with her, having crazy times, and then I’d come back and be like, ‘I hung out with Tupac last week!’ and nobody knew who he was!”
Is Tupac still alive?
Did M.I.A. take over Tupax's body after he was assassinated?
Did the CIA kill Tupac & invent Google + Facebook?
Is MIA on the government's radar, or is she only on the radar of sites who want to 'shit on her'/'cover her shittage upon'?