HIPSTER RUNOFF

U have officially 'made it' when teen boys will write that they <3 u on their bodies.

-the Jonas Brothers ft. Kurt Cobain

In 2k10, I will use the power of my tween+teen audience to inject a youthful, less jaded spirit into our modern world. We will reunite around a series of common goals, and won't quit our mission until our dreams become reality.

We can do this together, yall. Not gonna lie. I need yalls help.
This is my new internship program.

We need 2 put together a plan 2 'go viral' 2gether [via going mainstream].
Let me know if u have any suggestions so I can mail u a starter kit.

When I grow up, I want 2 be frequently seen on a party pic website (on a weekly basis). I want 2 show up on 1 of the relevant sites in a major city. I want people 2 know that every week, I attend at least 1.5 cutting-edge cultural events. The world is watching me for the next big trends. This gives me a reason to be alive.

When I was young, I thought I wanted to be an astronaut/fireman/ professional athlete / doctor / lawyer / investment banker, but now I realize that there's more to life than just 'having a title that people respect.' U should want more than just money + status in a local community. U need international alternative internet fame. U need 2 be seen + be relevant. U need 2 'look prettie' and participate in a more personal version of 'the paparazzi.'

Just because there aren't tagging features on most party pix sites doesn't mean they are worthless. Party pix sites are more authentic than facebook and flickr because you have 2 work harder to 'be a community.' When u r on a party pic site, u r part of something bigger than urself.

Be proud 2 be seen, yall.
Be proud of who yall are.
Be proud of ur wardrobe.
Be proud that u 'get' the world.
Be proud that u attend relevant events.
Be proud that u 'get' that u will be on a party pix site, then make a tshirt abt it[via graphic design], show up on another street fashion blog, then get blogged about by some 3rd altBlog. ( u r a meme. )

[Photos by Facehunter]

XX BONUS COBRANDING URSELF WITH An altWEBSITE [VIA TSHIRT] XX

miss u

What HRO fans will look like in 2k10?

Sparks is gone.
We continue to mourn in authentic and inauthentic ways. The process of mourning is more important than your expectations of results.

Is n e 1 else investing in the post-ironic vintage Sparks products market circa 2k20?

Buying a lot of this stuff from craigsebay.com. Plz don't outbid me, yall. This stuff is really important 2 me.
I beta tested Sparks when I was on a tour of the World of Coca Cola Brewery in Atlanta, GA.

Related Posts from which this meme has been built
Sparks: A Eulogy by a True Bro

After sorting through a lot of Justice fan art submissions, I decided 2 determine the prizes. I know yall h8 when I type m0re than 4 sentences in a p0st, so here r the winnrs.

HONORABLE MENTION
Prize: a concrete statue of a fist to put in their front yard

3rd place
Prize: a lifetime supply of Virginia Slims--the Official Cigarette of Gaspy and the Jewstices

2nd place
Prize: A copy of "Microsoft Paint" for Macintosh

1st prize
Prize: A trophy of Jesus Being crucified on Justice's Performance Console

Tie: 1st Prize

Which 1 do yall think should win the Chili's Gift Certificate?
Which 1 should I take on a flash drive 2 kinkos & ask them 'how big can yall make this to go on my wall?' ?

DO U BLEED NEON?

BLEEDING NEON: AN HRO SELF-PROMOTION MARKETING GIMMICK FROM 2K8.5-2K9
Other options:

• 'BLEED NEON OR GO HOME'
• 'LIVE FREE OR BLEED NEON'
• 'BLEEDING NEON IS LIFE: THE REST IS JUST DETAILS'
• 'EAT M0RE BLOOD NEON'
• 'I'M LOVIN IT: BLEEDING NEON'
• 'WHERE'S THE NEON BLOOD(BEEF)?'
• 'HAVE U HAD UR NEON BLOOD TODAY?'
• 'IT'S ___ O'CLOCK: DO U KNOW WHERE YOUR LIL ALT WHO BLEEDS NEON IS?'
• 'TRUTH.ORG:BLEED NEON'
• 'TALK 2 UR KIDS ABT DRUGS, AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO BLEED NEON (YALL)'
• 'BLEEDING NEON: IT RLLY KICK'S THE LLAMA'S ASS'
• 'BLEEDING NEON COMES AT YOU FAST: FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, THERE'S HRO'
• 'HAVE IT UR WAY, RIGHT AWAY AT HRO NOW'
• 'NEON BLOOD: THE BREAKFAST OF ALTS (CHAMPIONS)'
• 'NEON BLOOD MELTS IN UR MOUTH, AND NOT ON UR HANDS'
• 'A GALLON OF NEON BLOOD WORTH BLOGGING ABOUT'
• 'I <3 NEON BL00d'

Got n e m0re ideas?

***********
IS THIS WHAT MY BLOG IS ALL ABOUT?

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HRO IN THE CLASSROOM

EMAIL FROM A LOYAL HRO READER:

thank you for helping me pass my economics class. the assignment was to find/make a chart that had a legend on it. some of the responses from my classmates were
"what the fucks a hipster?"
"did you really make this?"
"wtf is hro?"
"who is carles?"
the majority only noticed that it said myspace. you're more than "just a blog".

*******
YALL INSPIRE THE SHIT OUT OF ME

U MAKE ME WANT TO BE A BETTER BLOG.
U MAKE ME WANT TO BE A BETTER MEME-MAKER.
U MAKE ME WANT TO BE A M0RE AUTHENTIC PERSON
U MAKE ME WANT TO SEARCH 4 TRUTH WITH U 4 THE REST OF MY LIFE.
U MAKE ME WANT TO BLOG FOR SOCIAL CHANGE.
U MAKE ME WANT TO BE A BETTER ALT.

LOVE YALL.