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Bon Iver sounds like dying indie rock on SNL, has mysterious HUGE black teenager in backing band (30 comments) |
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I Am Carles Returns with LIMITED EDISH VALENTINE'S DAY shirt. (7 comments) |
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Pitchfork cyberbullies & slutshames Best Coast, calls her an 'inauthentic two-timing sell out panderer' (13 comments) |
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Tyler the Creator spotted bronoodling with 'this nigga' Kanye West. Are Big Thangs Poppin? (10 comments) |
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Alexis Krauss shows off her BANGIN BOD in GQ Magazine. She truly is 'Sexi Lexi.' (12 comments) |
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Lana Del Rey sells MAD albums, is officially RICH, FAMOUS, and SUCCESSFUL (12 comments) |
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LANAMANIA hits Los Angeles, frenzied fans begin sobbing in Lana Del Rey's presence (35 comments) |
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GRAPHIC PHOTO: Cults lead singer Brian Oblivion suffers severe 3rd degree burns to face (4 comments) |
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Introducing PRAYER WATCH 2K12 A CandleLight Vigil 4 Carles #pray4carles (24 comments) |
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"BUZZ BANDS" was a category on Jeopardy. Have BUZZ BANDS crossed over 2 the mnstrm? (14 comments) |
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Was M.I.A.'s Super Bowl flip off the first shameless slutwave marketing act in the post-LDR era? (27 comments) |
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Skrillex spotted bronoodling with nostalgic human meme Mr. Belding in relevant VIP section (4 comments) |
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Vampire Weekend was the HUGE indie winner of the Super Bowl commercial war (6 comments) |
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Lana Del Rey wears baseball cap, looks TOTALLY EFFING keut (7 comments) |
One of the breakout bands of 2k11's SXSW was Puro Instinct, just in terms of 'mainstream magazines pretending that they are supposed to care about now' even though they have been being Gorilla Vs Beared for the past 2 years. Anyways, their music is 'good enough to sound buzzworthy', but potentially forgettable in the long term, but I am more interested in solving a way more important issue with their career arc:
It is a really difficult question, mainly because the sisters are age 23 (Piper Kaplan) and 16 (Skyler Kaplan). Piper is the lead singer, but Skylar is the lead guitarist, and u get the sense that she is the 'prodigy' behind the entire band. On the other hand, Piper could be interpreted as 'the keut female manifestation of Ariel Pink's personal brand', so if u have a mancrush on Ariel Pink and have weird wet dreams like the "For Kate I Wait" video, then maybe Piper seems like a good solution 4 u.
I srsly haven't swooned this hard since Regine... <3 her. I am alway interested in recruiting new keut alt females 2 recruit into the group of women that altbros and male music critics can 'get an indie boner ovr.' Seems like Puro Instinct presents us with a 'Double Ur Flavor, Double ur Fun' type of scenario.
Current Power Rankings of Alt QT indie songstresses
1. Vicki LeGrand
2. Alice Glass
3. Kickball Katy
3.5. Regine Chassagne
4. Zooey Deschanel
5. Madeline Follin (Cults)
?. Puro Sister #1
?. Puro Sister #2
?. Dirty Proj 1
?. Dirty Proj 2
?. Dirty Proj 3
8. Andrea Estella
9. Alexis 'Sexi Lexi' Krauss
10. Rebecca Black
20. That Chairlift slutwaver
40. That AZN in LCD Soundsystem/The Pains of Being Pure At heart
69. Joanna Newsom
74. Avey Tare's ex wife
91. Bjork
100. Bethany Cosentino
Who is at the top of ur current indie songstress QT power rankings?
However, part of me wonders if they are the #1 lofi sex icons in the world right now, especially after their provocative album art for Headbangers in Ecstasy.
Both of them look like total sex icons. It seems like this might be 'controversial' because we are forced to analyze the personal brand of 2 young ladies, however, u can't deny their indie physical attraction, wearing premium vintage-wave clothing...
They both look kinda keut as they walk around with Ariel Pink in the Stilyagi video.
Sorta jeal of Ariel for getting some quality time with them.
Another video 4 'Silky Eyes' features both Puro Sisters being hella keut. I am so confused yall... Which 1 is keuter?
I think Skylar looks good in this pic. S0 keut. Wish I could be back in high school and d8 a girl in a relevant buzzy band
Piper looks kinda keut here, though
They are just such keut altbaguettes. U have 2 give props to 16-year-old Skylar 4 skipping the entry level phase of 'being an alt tween'... I feel like that might give her an edge to me...
But at the same time, I am legally allowed 2 lust over Piper... I could go up to her at a show and say "I love your band" and we could instantly go on a date to Chili's and I wouldn't go to jail...
They have both rlly evolved since they were called 'Pearl Harbor.' I wonder if they are entering their lofi alt primes.
I'm s000 incredibly confused... Who do yall think is the keutest Puro Sister?
Skylar or Piper? There has 2 be a right answer... I want 2 know everything abt them... I want 2 know abt their parents, if they went 2 a school for the arts... If they went to an elementary school that manufactured lofi music producers....
R u on #TeamSkylar or #TeamPiper?
R u 'riding childpredatorwaves' if ur on #TeamSkylar, or can u be on her team if ur in it 4 the right reasons because <3 has no age?
Do u care abt the other members of Puro Instinct? Do they have equity in the band?
Is Skylar the musical genius behind Puro Instinct?
Do u like their music, or is it just 'overvalued post-Ariel Pink lofi'?
Can Piper take her on-stage personal brand to Alice Glass-type levels?
Should we invest more indie <3 and attention into Skylar because she has the most potential to bring us buzzworthy tunes and memes for the next 20 years?
Would u rather invest buzz dollars in Puro Instinct or Cults?
Is this the beginning of the end of Bethany Cosentino's domination of the fuzzy buzzy female spotlight?
Do u think there is some tension within the family bc each of them wants 2 be more famous?
Should Skylar get her own MTV show abt life as a 16 year old in a buzzband?
Will Skylar become an authentic fashion icon [via Tavi]?
S00 confused...
(Yall...Off the record... I think I am on #TeamSkylar)
Do u ever just sit in ur room listening 2 "Luv Goon", thinking abt what life with a Puro Sister would be like?
Puro Instinct is a fuzzy buzzy lofi band consisting of the Kaplan sisters, Piper and Skylar.
Read more>>>>
Skylar is the lead guitarist and songwriter of the hit sister-wave buzzband Puro Instinct.
Piper Kaplan is the QT lead singer of Puro Instinct.
I was reading my local newspaper, the Independent, and I saw a section with fashion tips from one of my favourite female vocalists of the post-Feist musicsphere. Here are a series of quotes that help us understand why Alice Glass is s000 sexie.
[Photo by HalfAlive]
xx QUOTES STRAIGHT FROM THE GLASS'S MOUTH xx \\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
On why she didn't get a breast augmentation & keep her hair blonde:
I'm feminine: I'm wearing a skirt, I own a bra. I think that whole big blonde look has been taken over by transsexuals now. I'm a natural blonde, but that blonde hair, big tits idea of what men want, it's now really unfeminine.
On her keut haircut which she has had 4 a long tyme
I've had my hair like this since I was 13. Before that, it was much shorter. I had a Chelsea, which is bangs [a fringe] and then the rest is shaved off.
On wearing little boys clothing...
My top is from a sports store in Dalston. It's a sweater for little boys
On coming out of her mother's womb with a pre-established personal brand:
I must have come out of the womb wearing Converse.I just wear them until they rip and become sandals. I like the white ones when they get that awesome brown shade.
On the dangers of playing to crowds of entrylevel alts:
I can't take anything valuable on tour; kids jump on stage and steal my stuff.
On what happens 2 u if u never have a real job:
My make-up routine involves putting a bunch of black stuff on my eyes. I've worn lipstick before, but I'm not big into it. I don't really care or think about how I look. I wouldn't wear something I didn't like, but I've never had a real job so no one's ever told me how to dress.
[Read more personal Alice quotes]
I feel kloser 2 her now, since I understand where she is coming from. It's kind of like when u r dating some1, then 1 night u just have an 'amazing conversation' where u get vulnerable with them, find out about their childhood, and learn to understand & value them on a totesally deep level.
'I need u s0 much closer'
-death cab for Crystie Cutesle
Since I can only evaluate new artists based on previous artists who sound or look like one another, I figured I should sort of talk my way through Lykke Li. I have felt pretty neutral towards most of her media that I have been exposed to, but I am confident in what I have been told I am supposed to think:
Here's a video that I think does a good job of bottling up her 'essence' into a consumable product.
So does any one know what the deal with Lykke Li is? What's she all about? Should I appreciate her in a Feisty kind of way because she can 'crossover' and be in iPod nano commercials? Or should I appreciate her in an Alanis Morisette kind of way? I think I might be comfortable liking her when she is remixed by some top tier remix artists.
I've also read that she might be an emerging style icon. I feel like if you are a buzzworthy woman who is rising above her alternative celebrity status, there is a 75% chance that you will be regarded as a 'style icon.' This may or may not be known as the M.I.A.-KarenO Theory.
I did an informal survey of people on streets of major metropolitan areas, and here is what they thought of Lykke Li
Anyways, I like this song by Kleerup that Lykke Li sings on. Apparently he is a good producer for women, though. This is a good song to get vulnerable to, or to put on a mix CD for a girl to think you are deep and understand her personal needs.
[MP3]
Kleerup Until We Bleed (With Lykke Li)
Myspace
http://www.myspace.com/lykkeli
http://www.myspace.com/kleerup
2k11 has been suffering from the worst buzz drought in the history of the indiesphere. Such a drought that Bon Iver's snooze-wave album accidentally became 'critically acclaimed', but it was mainly because of the implosion of the sub-prime mortgage buzz loan vibes in ruralwave albums/artists. Although Bon Iver has vintage indie 'cred', his latest snoozefest post-kanye collab was way overvalued, and now confused outlets like NPR 'accidentally thought it was actually good'.
Anyways, he was spotted wearing dad khakis. Not really cool dad vibes, more of a comfy dad, going to his chill middle-management job. Maybe putting on a bit of weight, going for a size 36-38 dockers pleated khakis type of vibe. He seems comfortable, versatile. Ready to go from the office to his kids' soccer game. This is clearly a shameless attempt to appeal to NPR-wave fans who also wear khakis while driving home from work searching for buzz album recommendations and feeling 'cultured' bc they listen to humans with soothing voices and/or foreign accents saying stuff that sounds 'progressive and insightful' but is actually just mid-market liberal propaganda.
Do u vibe out on khakis?
Does Bonny look chill?
Do u like pleats in ur pants?
Are khakis for cool dads or uncool dads?
R u gonna vibe out in some khakis?
What's ur fave khaki brand?
Are khakis a new relevant alt trend [via replacing skinnie jeans]?
Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.
Star Magazine is a relevant crappy celeb gossip magazine, which I think existed before television and blogs. It was designed 2 'get the attention of a lamestream woman at the super market' who has no connection 2 the outside world except thru magazines. She is forced to skim thru these pix of famous ppl and think abt her life 'if she coulda been famous/beautiful/talented', but instead she is forced to take care of 2+ kids and do grocery shopping.
Anyways, Ariel Pink is getting 'really famous' because he was featured as a 'fashion disaster' in Star Magazine. I wonder why they don't 'get' his indie vibes. It seems like this might be one of the top 5 moments in Ariel Pink's career, showing that he has the potential 2 'appeal to mainstreamers.' Wonder if he should 'cut his hair' and write an accessible album that is perfect 4 commercial licensing.
R u 'proud' of Ariel?
R 'we' 'losing' Ariel 2 the mainstream?
Is Ariel Pink 'too zany' 2 ever 'go mainstream'?
Can Ariel Pink become an indie 'fashion icon'?
Should he fire his band and obtain a stylist for his next tour?
Can he brand himself as 'the new Kurt Cobain' or something like that?
Do yall evr read Star Magazine when ur checking out at the grocery store?
Are 'gossip rags' more authentic than 'gossip blogs'?
Is Star Magazine 4 Middle Americans?
Do yall ever buy the magazines that are in the checkout aisle at ur grocery store or are they usually abt aliens?
Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.
