FASHION NIGHTMARES | Hipster Runoff

FASHION NIGHTMARES

Bon Iver's Justin Vernon was a FASHION DISASTER at Coachella Weekend 2!

PHotos via Brooklyn Vegan

:::::::SIREN NOISES:::::::::::

FREEZE!

You have the right to remain poorly dressed, but anything u wear CAN and WILL be held against u, Bonny BB! Anything you wear or accessorize can and will be held against you in a court of fashion law. You have the right to speak to a stylist. If you cannot afford a non-Midwestern stylist, one will be appointed for you and will be televised on a TLC makeover show. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

Say it isn't so, Justin Vernon, bb! U showed up to Coachella in an weird dot shirt! Oh no! What a blunder!

::ALERT::: :::SIREN NOISES:::

Some1 PLZ call the FASHION POLICE! We have an OFFENDER who should be PUT IN JAIL for the AGGRAVATED ASSAULT of our eyes!

We have a ROBBERY in progress, the assailant was last seen ON STAGE playing Midwestern folk! U shoulda worn a Coachella tank top, bb!

The case is certainly closed, and the jury has spoken, this crime should be PUNISHED by DEATH! What were U THINKING?

We are all innocent until proven guilty, but Justin Vernon's suit is CERTAINLY grounds for a citizen's arrest, trial, and lynching!

I truly have an OBJECTION 2 this suit, ur honor!

:::SIREN NOISES::::

Get on your knees! Put your hands where I can see them! And take off that TERRIBLE shirt!

Oh no, Justin Vernon is truly the ultimate indie fashion disaster of Coachella!

Was Justin Vernon the biggest fashion disaster of the Coachella?
Or is his shirt kinda alt in a Win Butler sorta way?
Did some1 call the fashion police?
Because we DEF have another CRIME AGAINST FASHION
What were U THINKING Bon Iver?
Remember when Bon Iver was a FASHION DISASTER at the Grammys?
PREVIOUSLY: Was Bon Iver the biggest FASHION DISASTER of the Grammys? [via the FASHION POLICE]

Win Butler's UGLY SWEATER is a FASHION DISASTER. Has the Arcade Fire frontman lost his mind?


Win Butler is the lead singer of the Arcade Fire, but more importantly, he is the #2 MOST WANTED INDIE TERRORIST IN THE WORLD right behind M.I.A. because he h8s America so much. Recently, his post-buzzband did some sort of lecture for kids at the University of Texas during #SXSW. Of course, a bunch of dumb, spoiled pre-twentysomethings filed into some lecture hall to hear some band talk about 'issues.' Who knows what they even talked abt, probably Haiti, or how Win Butler hates Texas and America.

Anyways, it's more important to focus on WIN BUTLER'S UGLY MAGIC SCHOOL BUS SWEATER.

Maybe he thought that he was going 2 speak to elementary school students or something. All we can say is that SOME1 NEEDS 2 CALL THE FASHION POLICE and have him sent 2 jail. I'd expect this sweater on a Kindergarten teacher, but not a HOTTIE INDIE HUNK.

Here they are playing their most famous songs 'after the lecture' because there is no way any1 even cared abt what they had 2 say.

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Who are those 'CO-EDs' that he is canoodling with?
Is his marriage with Regine 'over'?
Did u go 2 this lecture?
Should he be SENT TO JAIL for CRIMES AGAINST FASHION?
Should he be banned from our beautiful country for defecting in search of artsyfartsier lands?
Are the ArFi relevant, or have they gone the way of the AnCo?
Do u wanna ride chillwaves in the Magic School Bus?
Do u wanna ride vibezones in the Magic AltBus?

PREVIOUSLY: Win Butler abandons the stage during pro-America sing-a-long with Bruce Springsteen bc he h8s the USA

Win Butler

Alternative Celebrity

Win Butler is the lead singer bro of the Arcade Fire. He is married 2 some girl in his band named Regine. He is from Houston TX but now claims 2 be from Canada.

Read more>>>>

Arcade Fire

Buzzband

The Arcade Fire is a 2k0s indie band that went mainstream because their songs sound like meaningful anthems. They pretend to be Canadian but Win Butler (lead singer) is actually from Houston, TX.

Read more>>>>

Lana Del Rey is a FASHION DISASTER! Oh no, bb!

by the UlTiMaTe LaMeStReAmER!!!


Lana BB! Say it ain't so! Just last week u were a FASHION ICON! But now ur wearing the ugliest outfit I have EVER seen in my entire life.

WHY the EFF r u hiding ur BANGIN BOD? U've got it all, bb! International fame, riches, a HOTTIE Boyfriend, and most importantly, an AMAZING figure! U do NOT have to wear these zany clothes. Honestly, it looks like u r wearing the pants of a frumpy high schooler who just went shopping at a thrift store and came out looking like a crazy old lady. BB ur BETTER than Goodwill.

Ur shoes look Converse All Star hipster, bb! But at the same time, UGH! They remind me of this BITCH teenager who works at the movie theatre by my house and always gives me a DIRTY look when I put all the butter I want on my popcorn. #selfServe4life

Honestly, I shouldn't be so judgmental. As long as u smile, u r beautiful, because it is what is on the inside that truely matters. #U_Go_Girl!

Live 4 u, #LDR!
Ur an ICON, and no1 can TAKE THAT away from u!

Do u think LDR looks good, bb? Or is she a COMPLETE FASHION DISASTER NIGHTMARE?

Was Bon Iver the biggest FASHION DISASTER of the Grammys? [via the FASHION POLICE]


You have the right to remain poorly dressed, but anything u wear CAN and WILL be held against u, Bonny BB! Anything you wear or accessorize can and will be held against you in a court of fashion law. You have the right to speak to a stylist. If you cannot afford a non-Midwestern stylist, one will be appointed for you and will be televised on a TLC makeover show. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

Say it isn't so, Justin Vernon, bb! U showed up to the Grammys in an organic hemp thrift store suit! Oh no! What a blunder!

::ALERT::: :::SIREN NOISES:::

Some1 PLZ call the FASHION POLICE! We have an OFFENDED who should be PUT IN JAIL for the AGGRAVATED ASSAULT of our eyes!

We have a ROBBERY in progress, the assailant was last seen ON STAGE holding a Grammy trophy wearing a green suit!

The case is certainly closed, and the jury has spoken, this crime should be PUNISHED by DEATH!

We are all innocent until proven guilty, but Justin Vernon's suit is CERTAINLY grounds for a citizen's arrest, trial, and lynching!

I truly have an OBJECTION 2 this suit, ur honor!

:::SIREN NOISES::::

Get on your knees! Put your hands where I can see them! And take off that TERRIBLE suit!

Oh no, Justin Vernon is truly the ultimate indie fashion disaster of the night!

Black tie, bb! Black tie!

Was Justin Vernon the biggest fashion disaster of the nite?

Bon Iver

Alternative Celebrity

Bon Iver is a bearded man from a Midwestern forest who sounds like Bruce Hornsby and once collab-ed with Kanye West.

Read more>>>>

Bonny Bear

Alternative Celebrity, Meme

Bonny Bear is the winner of the 2012 Best New Artist Grammy Award.

Read more>>>>

卐 Jared Leto has Sonic the Hedgehog Hair, zany outfit, transcends society 卐


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▲▲▲JARED▲▲▲
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Do u not like my suit?▲▲▲
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▲▲▲Sonic the Hedgehog▲▲▲
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
▲▲▲charges in2 a lil ball...▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
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☯ ☯ ☯ ☯ ☯ ☯ ☯ ☯ ⇨⇨⇨⇨⇨

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Always be moving forward
despite the setting sun ☼
See the moon? ☽
Walk to the moon under the moonlite
Meet the Devil
Have u ever danced with the devil under the pale moon lite?

Red Suit.
Around the world in 365 days as the axis spins
jumping on flight to fight against the forces of gravity ✈
✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈
A nightmare that I'm falling ✈✈✈
I wake up and I've fallen
from grace
in love
out of love
after dancing with the devil
in the pale moonlight

Catching a flight with Knuckles

good bros with Sonic
We move fast
against the gravity
[I'll be on Mars in 30 seconds]
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▼▼▼▼Falling...▼▼▼▼▼
▼▼▼▼▼Falling...▼▼▼▼
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▼▼▼▼Falling...▼▼
▼▼Falling...▼▼▼
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▼▼▼I was Jared..▼▼▼▼▼
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▼▼▼I am Jared...▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼
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Boom.
I just transcended the eff outta yall.
卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐
Follow dreams into the abyss,
Jared

FASHION NIGHTMARE? Ariel Pink wears pink pants & clogs

ariel pink fashion
Ariel Pink is known as a lofi God who is going mainstream in the world of indie... but sometimes you wonder if his fashion sense is going 2 hurt him or help him. While he does seem totally beyond alt... U gotta wonder if he can win over the tween markets dressing like this...

In this photo, we see Ariel smoking a cig while wearing some clogs, pink pants, and a white and green striped shirt. Ariel Pink has a truly unique sense of style, but we hope it doesn't hurt his career.

If u ask me, u can let Ariel wear whatever he wants, just as long as he churns out at least 1 relevant album per 1.5 years...

Is Ariel Pink a 'fashion disaster' or a 'visionary'?
Should I buy a pair of Ariel Pink clogs?

Is Ariel Pink the #1 indie hunk in indie?
Will Ariel Pink get an 'extreme makeover' for his next album, or will he just dress up like Lady Gaga?
Can Ariel Pink 'come back' and continue to 'grow' after Before Today, or has his career peaked?

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Read more>>>>

FASHION NIGHTMARE: Michael Cera wears a zany alt outfit, tries to save Scott Pilgrim from tanking


Just saw this picture of Michael Cera. Not sure 'wtf he is trying to do'/ who he is 'trying 2 be.' It looks like an outfit that a blipster would wear or something. Or maybe something you would wear to the Nick Jr Awards for Tween Idols.
Feel confused. Not sure if he is trying to be 'more like Michael Cera' or trying to rebrand himself as 'post-Michael Cera.'
Maybe he is trying to 'look older', like a zany grandpa or something, trying to look like he has dementia.
Seemed chill to use the phrase 'FASHION NIGHTMARE' in this headline. Kinda hoping it helps attract new users who are used to ready paper-based magazines where they analyze people's weight/fashion.

Does Michael Cera look 'effing hot' or like 'an effing nightmare'?
Does Michael Cera look 'totally hipster'?
Should Michael Cera quit trying to be alt?
Does n e 1 know how the Juno baby turned out [via '16 and pregnant'?]
Was JUNO a documentary or a post-NappyDyna comedy?
Is Michael Cera is trying to 'save' Scott Pilgrim from being a complete flop, hoping he gets into some headlines? [link]
Was Scott Pilgrim 'amazing' or 'a pile of poop'?
Are all happy that Scott Pilgrim tanked so they will stop adapting zany graphic novels into alt teen 'offbeat comedies'?
Is Michael Cera a 'fashion icon'?
Will his career 'swirl down the shitter' now that Scott Pilgrim tanked, even though it 'got a lot of buzz on the internet'?

Michael Cera

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Michael Cera is an alt actor whose movies flops and he basically plays himself ovr and ovr again in every movie.

Read more>>>>
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