I am sure that 80% of the world is familiar with the FUPA, an acronym for ‘Fat Upper Pussie Area.’ It seems like after the mom jeans resurgence of 2k7, FUPAs were really just ‘inevitable.’ As females continue to grow older, their metabolism will slow down, and they will begin to gain weight. Usually women gain weight in their ass and thighs first. (Men are more likely 2 get ‘bellies’.) It seems like this FUPA trend might be ‘metabolically driven’, as opposed to just a ‘viral marketing gimmick.’

It seems like FUPAs are some sort of rare phenomenon, possibly caused by the form fitting structure of most altPants. Maybe as u gain wait, the tightness of ur pants ’shape’ where fat is distributed. Seems like it might be a ‘major health risk’ or something. Wish that Parsons/Pratt would do some sort of ’study’ about that, instead of just generating ‘designers’ who will work for mainstream brands. Seems like FUPAs might be ‘trendy’ but also ‘unhealth.’

From what I understand, they sell ‘butt pads’ for women with no asses. I wonder if some1 will market FUPA pads, for skinny girls with a Skinny_Upper_Pussie_Area. I might add this as a product to iamcarles.com, in order to capitalize on tween females who are still ‘rain thin’ but want that extra ‘padding’ to achieve an older aesthetic.

(Did yall used 2 stuff ur bras when u felt like u had no titties?)

Feel confused about FUPAs, mom jeans, skinny jeans, and how health + fashion can counteract one another. Might buy velco orthopedic shoes for old people to have a post-ironic prsnl brand, but more importantly, to give feet/arc/ankles proper support, ensuring the load bearing capabilities of my footwear are optimized.

Do yall think that FUPAs will ‘catch on’ in the next decade?
Will alternative women gain weight in the next decade?

Will altwomen have to ‘retire’ leggings in 2k10?
Will the current alt generation ‘gain weight’ and how will it alter the future of fashion?
Do u have any health tips 4 ’staying thin’ besides ’shopping at Holes Foods and ‘doing lines of blow’?
R u a bro with a FUPA?

I am looking for a new summer wardrobe, and I was thinking about buying some clothes that were made to make me look like a British chill rock’n'roller. I remember the first time I heard the song “Wonderwall.” I think it was the most meaningful song I had ever heard in my young life. Within the next year, I bought an acoustic guitar, and learned the simple chords to “Wonderwall” and told myself ‘u can make it as a musician. just stay simple and put ur heart in.’

I have read in magazines that Liam Gallagher is ‘an asshole.’ Just felt like blogging about oasis since they’re so old. Sorta miss the days when bands were ‘a big deal.’ They were ‘larger than life’ and u would compare them to the Beatles. But these days, u just admit that a kewl band won’t be around for that long.

Think ur just supposed to be ‘chill’ and wear these clothes.

He also made some sort of promo video for the clothing line, where he talks about how authentic it is, and how it is ‘all stuff he would actually wear.’ I feel like it comes across like some sort of parody of himself, as played by Ben Stiller in 2001, but I think British people ‘actually see the world like this’, which is why they are into things like soccer clubs, Ricky Hatton, and Oasis.

I think that British people only know how to ‘be into something’ that they like by treating it like it is a soccer team. They like to get drunk and sing, and ’see what happens’ [via violence]. Glad that British people aren’t racist Euros, like French, Italians, and Spanish. Sad abt the after-effects colonialism.

Damn. Need a chill track jacket.

Need a hat 2 wear with sunglasses

Do yall think Oasis are ‘the next Beatles’?

I remember reading in a magazine that they are ‘the next big thing.’

Just wish the entire world had the same definition of ‘cool.’ Feel like British people enjoy weird stuff for some reason. Like they grew up thinking that ur supposed to appreciate some gritty aesthetic. I think maybe cuz it is s0 rainy over there.

Saw these two laggards laying around on my flag. This is America. This is our flag.

Photos via Bad Kitties

I feel ‘fucking enraged’ that some1 would deface my flag like that. I feel like this is what people in Iraq and Iran do whenever George W. Bush makes bad foreign policty.

It rlly offends me 2 see some super model/it-girl wearing our flag as a muu muu to a meaningful music festival. I know that fashion is metaphorical, but I don’t think u should be allowed 2 wear a flag-shirt unless ur American, and unless it is [via Old Navy].

srsly think that this is a metaphor for the economie. Feel like young people are ‘lazy’ and ‘don’t give a shit about the economie.’ This is like Generation Y, hangin out, layin around on Old Glory.

I think that the British flag might actually be a ‘fashion statement.’

Sort of scared that the South will rise again [via Radical Christian bros who buy guns at Walmart]

I think it’s kewl that even ‘the dark side’ of the world is a lil bit nationalistic. Think that we should limit their levels of ‘patriotism’ so that it doesn’t cause terrorism.

Yall. I’ve been feeling really down lately. Just like ‘fuck everything’ and feelings like that. I decided that if u don’t care about any thing, ur life will never be meaningful. Even though it is cliched, u have 2 FEEL something. U can’t just go through life thinking that everything is a big joke. U have 2 take stuff seriously so that u don’t implode.

It’s okay to take stupid stuff seriously. Sometimes that makes life fun. Think I’m gonna change my ways and rally around America/God/bad ass mp3s/ ‘the scene’.
What do yall believe in? What do yall do 2 get out of ruts?

I want to write a song and include the following words
high fashion – dance – electro -edgy – makeup – international – Vogue – Fashion – Paris – Milan – New York – I am ______ – International – icon – magazine – cover – it girl

I feel like this ‘glam-core’ fashion music seems like it is written by a tween who is interpreting the world after he/she reads a magazine + they are exploring their sexuality.

I wish that I could ‘get’ fashion, art, and music like pop icons do.

I have read that Lady Gaga is ‘very inspired’ by Andy Warhol. I want to seem like a pop star who ‘gets’ that popculture ‘means nothing’ but still ‘wants more fame’ or something like that. I want to be a pop sensation who sort of thinks that my product is more artistic than it actually is. I want to be a ’sex object’ but have it be ‘artistic’ cuz I ‘realize that dudes wanna fuck me in crazie costumes.’

I want to make music that was meant 2 be played in ‘gay bars.’

FASHION
ELECTRO
VOGUE
INTERNATIONAL
ICON
COVER GIRL
PARIS
MINNEAPOLIS
MILAN
RUNWAY
HEIDI KLUM
PILATES
MIAMI
CAT WALK
FASHION.
GUYS JERKING OFF 2 MY PIX IN MAGAZINES
GOSSIP
MICHIGAN
GROWING UP
GETTING OLDER
ADOPTING KIDS FROM AFRICA

Do yall think this mask might work? Do u think the moustache can filter out all of the bad germs?

Or should I actually buy a protective mask from Am Appy? Not sure which colour I want.

screenshot via the Am Appy Store

Can’t believe Am Appy is actually selling protective gear. Feel like I might actually ’start taking the swine flu’ more seriously.

Just want to protect myself without compromising my fashion sense. Might just buy a ‘pakistani scarf’ to cover my mask.

Does n e 1 have any tips for avoiding swine flu?
Does n e 1 know any other signature Am Appy / Urban Outfitters / H&M styles that might help 2 protect me from catching ‘pig fever’ without ‘looking like a poor mainstreamer?

Feel like I’m growing up and valuing different things about a woman. Have yall ever made a new wardrobe out of nontraditional items, like ‘wearing duct tape 2 prom’ or something zany like that? Have yall ever made a body-suit from the skin of fat women?

Not sure if I’m even gonna wear Am Appy n e more. Might just start wearing the Am Appy bag. Need to brand myself better with Helvetty + something that showcases my body.

All I want 2 do
is live in 1 of the cities on the Am Appy bag
Settle down
Start a family
Be the person I want 2 be
and grow old without feeling old
Getting more meaningful with each passing day

Kinda sad. Not even sure what I think it ‘hot’ any more.
Might just start looking at ‘a ton of porn’
because it’s good 2 know that some girls ‘just want 2 get pounded’
and only consider themselves’ to be ‘lil fuck holes’

What do u look 4 in a woman?
some1 who looks like Jessica Alba?

This is an image of a high fashion show where a hot model is wearing clothes with a sunny side up egg on it. I think she also has a baguette on her head. She might be some sort of transformer who transforms in2 a picnic. Not sure what the dress is trying to ’say’, but I think it has sometimes to do with survival, and how we have to go grocery shopping to stay alive, instead of being a hunter and gatherer. Might also have to do with the death of the nuclear family.

I know that I am kind of a ‘fashion blog’ but sometimes I don’t ‘get’ fashion. It seems like the most bloggable looks are stuff that are too expensive for even upper-middle class people to buy. And most people ‘don’t look like models’ so they look like they are ‘trying too hard’ when they try 2 look ‘all cool and fashion-forward.’ It makes me sad when I see poor people who wear ‘clothes for poor people that they think are cool, trendy, and sexy.’

Every1 is just trying their best to look presentable and modern. Kinda sad when people ‘try 2 b sexie’ when they aren’t.

I feel like if I saw some girl with eggs on her, it would make me think she is ‘trying too hard 2 be kutesy’ and probably needs to focus on developing a more intense sexual identity, instead of seeking shelter in deceptive kutesy aesthetics which represent a reluctance to ‘grow up.’

Designs by Agatha Ruiz De La Prada

UGH. Still haven’t figured out what’s the difference between design, art, and memes?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/12/whats-the-difference-between-art-design-and-memes.html

Sometimes I just feel like we live in a world where every1 is just trying 2 b blggd about. Kinda like that ‘In the future, every one will be world-famous for 15 minutes’ quote by Andy Warhol, except it’ll be m0re like:

“In the future, everyone will be internet-famous for 15 blog minutes.”
-Carles, blogger from HIPSTER RUNOFF (2009)

Please justify ur answer in order to receive a gift certificate to Applebee’s + a $100,000 iTunes gift card.

For example: “They are blipstaz because that’s how blipsters will dress in 2k11 after Kanye is President and then there will be some sort of law written into the Constitution/Dec of Indy that every1 has 2 wear progressive street wear and take ’swagger’ classes.’

or “They are fggts because they look like they just completed a progressive circle jerk where they also talked about ’stuff cultured white people appreciate.’”

Which 1 do yall think?

I hope that non-fashionable fashion is big in 2k9. Not in a ’shuttershadey’ way, but in a historical/old Russian woman way. I think we’re approaching an era where ‘bright colours’ will be out. As opposed to dressing with the goal of proving that you are free-spirited/are ‘an individual’, I feel like we will start dressing like we live in an oppressed society. We will seek to look more ‘uniform’ as an alternative population. We have grown tired of the contest to ‘try to look like the zaniest alt alive.’

Is n e 1 else excited about the future?

[Photo by The StreetWalker]

Should I go to design school to become a FactoryBro who is in charge of strategically fading denim? I’ve always wanted to ‘make something beautiful’ and/or be the creator of trends. Is this my chance?

[Photo by David Friedman Photo]

If I’m gonna work in a factory, it’s definitely gonna be an AmericanAppyFacty. Or should I work for a company that doesn’t give me benefits & works me 2 death? Is ‘working abroad’ the same as ’studying abroad’? Will I ‘find myself’ + ‘meaningful adventures’?

Previous Wide Legged Jeans Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/the-widest-legs-alive.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/are-normal-people-jeans-going-to-be-fashionable-in-2009.html
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/06/editors-correction.html