[This picture represents Girl Talk becoming comfortable in his own shoes as one of the world's top alternative celebrities.]

This blog post is intended to confront the issue: “IS GIRL TALK MAINSTREAM OR ALT?” I think he’s one of the most difficult alt-artists to decide whether or not you are supposed to like because:

• He doesn’t ‘make’ his own music
• He looks like a mainstreamer gone alt
• His shows are no longer enjoyable because of the seas of tweens dressed in neon, & frat bros on their annual ‘alt night’
• DJs are easy to resent
• so many people who know too much about music enjoy him too much
• so many uninteresting people think they are interesting bc they like him.

GIRL TALK has entered the genre of ‘music that uninteresting people like in order to seem more interesting.’ He has joined other top Hypemachine artists like Radiohead, Coldplay, MGMT, and whoever else has been ‘popular’ for the past 3 months. He has become the kind of artist who is ‘acclaimed’ no matter what he does, so it doesn’t even really matter whether or not his product is good any more. It will always be bloggable/magazine blurbable, and it will always be somewhere around decent, but since he has the most justified brand of ‘mashups’, he will be able to get away with it even though most people will say ‘mashups R DEAD.’

When Girl Talk comes to town, people will come to party. Altbros, fratbros, and creepy 30 year olds who buy 18 year olds drinks will come ready to grind. Teen alt sluts will wear their zany sunglasses for the first time at night when they get on stage with Girl Talk. Communities in the Midwest are proud that they are alternative enough to host Girl Talk concerts.

An interesting thing about Girl Talk is that alt musical historians are unwilling to concede whether he is mainstream or alt. When he first started out, he was apparently rlly conceptual. He played music that was crappy and no1 liked, and had to use gimmicks like ‘getting drunk’ and ‘having skanky backup dancers’ as he played to audiences of no1/probably weirdo goth-alt people. Gregg Gillis used 2 be ‘underground’, because ‘underground’ means that u r crappy & no1 likes u.

Then I guess he discovered what Girl Talk 2.0 was all about with MASHUPS, and was able to take advantage of the golden days of DJs back in 2007. (s000 long ago). For the rest of eternity, Diplo and Girl Talk will be the only ‘DJs/laptop DJs/non-DJs’ who are allowed to make mashups & not get shit 4 it. “Night Ripper” was an album made before it was intended to BLOW UP. I think that’s why so many people feel comfortable with it, since there was no hype. It was more like stumbling upon a really interesting episode of Frasier that made you think about life. You would be alright without it in your life, but it’s pretty okay that it came in2 your sphere of consciousness.

With added expectations, “Feed the Animals” was only going to be ’something that d-bags said they liked’ or ’something that d-bags decided not to like without even listening to it.’

FEED THE ANIMALS
I didn’t really listen to ‘Feed the Animals.’ I listened to some of the first couple of tracks, but in all honesty, it was WAAAY too black-ish for me. I felt kind of like I had accidentally bought a rap CD and then drove home from my local record store as a black man yelled at me about metaphors that only urban people and empty white suburbanites pretend to understand. I think an issue might be ‘hip hop is not authentic enough any more’, so GirlTalkBro had to use a bunch of the gimmicky Top40 songs that it’s difficult to identify with.

Issues with FEED THE ANIMALS:

• Track Selection wasn’t ALT-enough. “GIRL TALK DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ALT PEOPLE.” -Kanye West
• There was no Justice, Teenagers, other gimmicky ‘indie/electro’ hits that he should have included to repay the mainstream alts who have enabled him to play to sold out shows of entry-level alts/mainstreamers/bros/bros-who-grind-on-any-piece-of-ass for the past 1.5 years.
• TOO BLACKISH. I mean, SRSLY. I don’t GET rap, and I can’t identify most of the choruses/lyrics without the annoying original tracks behind them.
• Overall, it didn’t really ‘get my attention’ and ’suck me in’ to a world that ‘represented an escape’ from ‘how seriously I am supposed to take music.’ It didn’t make me ‘want 2 have fun’ and ‘4get about important things’ and just ‘get my dance on’ and ‘get my drank on’ with a ‘group’ of my ‘closest’ ‘friends.’

But yeah, it doesn’t even really matter, bc it is a Girl Talk album, and it’s art! And when a lot of people like a product like this, it’s really beautiful. Our society has come a long way. It’s amazing. So just chill out and be happy that we live in a world connected by wires where people can hear media like mashup albums. It’s great, yall. I mean, I’m happy that I have this outlet for yall to even read what I’m thinking. Let’s not focus on being disappointed by ‘Feed the Animals’, and just take some time to appreciate what it means 2 live in the internet age. Love yall.

Other questions/thoughts:

• Why does HRO only ‘review’ mixtapes that are released as ‘albums’?
• If you were disappointed by ‘Feed the Animals’, you are REALLY going to hate his next album.
• I think an interesting about Gregg Gillis is that he is ‘a smart dude in a good situation.’ Most alternative celebrities and real celebrities are usually idiots who got lucky and now get to display their terrible personalities for a living. Gregor Gillis
• I think I read that Girl Talk has had a long-term girlfriend through his alt-celeb-status transition. Maybe he should dump her and get more tugjobs?
• I read that in the future, Girl Talk is planning to make ‘new songs out of old songs’ as opposed to straightforward mashups. That’s going to go TERRIBLY, but I think he’ll be closer to his roots as a conceptual artist. Hopefully he is able to put food on the table.
• Overall, I am extremely comfortable with Gregory Gillis not expecting me to pay for his music. It makes our relationship a lot better. I’m glad I didn’t have to steal his album from him, and he is glad that I gave him $0 for his new album.
• SRSLY though… why didn’t he use more BLOG HOUSE gimmicky music? [tracklisting]

What can we learn from Gregory Gillis (AKA The Girl Talks)?
Greg Gillis has perfected the Mainstream-Alt Vortex. When you are an artist or a brand that is sucked into the mainstream-alt vortex, it is more difficult for consumers to pin you down as ‘being authentic’ or ‘being popular’. In most circumstances, you can only be ‘authentic’ or ‘popular.’ There is no middle ground. However, an artist like GIRL TALK is constantly hovering between being considered super authentic/innovative, but at the same time a safe, popu
lar choice for people who may or may not be ‘taking a risk’ by liking ’something s000 random.’

This cycle makes no sense, but neither does Girl Talk.

CAN SOME1 PLZ EXPLAIN GIRL TALK? IS HE ALT OR MAINSTREAM? IS HE UNDERGROUND OR POPULAR OR AUTHENTIC OR AUTH-CORE?

Anyways, GIRL TALK is here to stay, so we might as well get used to him because one day he will be playing Fortune 500 Annual Conclaves to get employees fired up.

XX BONUS XX
Remember the time Girl Talk got a $500 Taco Bell Coupon and gave tacos away to attendees of his concert?

[Girl Talk should be hired by summer camps to make groups of kids shut up, but then get them excited.]

Remember when Greg Gillis got shut down after some college bro got tasered, and then had to rally the troops to ‘find the next great party?’

[I love Girl Talk's "let me level with you, bro" voice of reason in this video]

xx BONUS GIRL TALK alt Vs. mainstream image analysis xx

S0 MAINSTREAM

Just a bro from Pittsburg makin some tunes!

I have a beard, yes! I wear a Pirates hat.

I am transitioning into my alt existence. I am feeling comfortable with more attention than ever. I am simply ready to party. I have an emerging niche market

I will sell t-shirts to mainstreamers.

I have mastered my kraft (mstrd my krft).

I have found my alternative mainstream existence. My journey is over. Consumers will pay what they want for my album. I hope Prince doesn’t sue me.