• unruly fans
• alcohol + drugs
• bands who ‘have an attitude’
• the venue
• governmental restrictions and limitations
• structural collapses of temporary stages
• unqualified staff and security
• Mother Nature
• lack of necessary amenities, such as bathrooms, potable water, and Sparks

It seems like the factor that is most likely to get out of hand is the combination of substance abuse with ‘a shit load of people.’ It’s kinda weird how much ‘trust’ u must have in humanity in order for an event to go smoothly, both intrinsically and financially. I’m sure yall have been at a concert where 1 unruly bro has been kicked out, and u were sort of relieved. That 1 bro could have ruined the entire experience 4 every1. It seems like if one thing ’sucked’, then the ‘mob mentality’ of tons of fans could cause some sort of ‘riot’ that ends with a death/buzzkill.

Just read abt 2 failed events due 2 completely different reasons.

Failed Event #1: The Big Valley Jamboree, 2009
It seems like there was some sort of windstorm at a country music festival called ‘The Big Valley Jamboree’ held somewhere in Canada that likes country music. Apparently the winds picked up, and a stage collapsed, and some1 died. It seems like this video of the wind destroying a music festival is like ‘hell on Earth.’

This video seems ’solemn’ and ’serious’–like you possibly should not ‘make fun’ of the event since some1 died, making it an official ‘tragedy.’ I think if some1 is injured, then it is just an ‘accident’, but ‘death’ makes it a tragedy because people united for some fun, but then got something that they weren’t expecting. Feel like I’d be bummed/pissed if I went to a music festival, and then Mother Nature ‘fucked it up’ totally ruining my ‘buzz.’ I feel like Christians think that ‘God makes things happen for a reason’, so maybe this was God’s way of saying that music festivals are ‘terrible ideas.’ Wonder if this would have been a ‘bigger story’ if it happened at Coachella/Lollapally/ACL.  

I think every one probably ‘deserves a refund’, and the event was possibly insured for some sort of disaster like this.

Failed Event #2: HARDfest Summer AltPartie, Los Angeles, 2009

I also read about some event in Los Angeles called HARD. It was apparently shut down by the riot squad because it became a ‘huge fire hazard’ after unruly teens overran the event. It was held in the basketball arena where Magic Johnson used to play b4 he caught HIV. Tons of relevant electro artists from the year 2k7 were playing to an arena full of California alts + mexitween alts who think that ‘everything is a rave’ so it seemed like it was destined to end poorly.  

It seriously seems like ‘hell on Earth.’ Like when you are in a position with ‘tons of people’ who ‘feel like they are entitled to something’ that is no longer going to manifest itself. Sort of reminds u of when ur a kid and ur somewhere with ur parents, and some sort of ‘consumer injustice happens’ and an entire room of 30-50 year olds ’stand up for something’ and complain to the manager.

It seems overwhelming to have ‘grown up’ and now be in positions where ‘young people’/'alt people’ experience ‘consumer injustices’

‘Consumer injustices.’ They seem pretty subjective, I guess. It seems like the ‘customer is always right’, so it seems like a consumer injustice is likely to happen a lot. It seems like ‘dumb people’ are the most liberated when they get to ‘complain’ about being ‘fucked over’ at a restaurant/store/concert/etc. Like this is ‘their time’ to fight for justice, or something. I feel like that’s why I h8 ‘dealing with failed consumer experiences’ the worst–u have given this sort of ‘power’ as a ‘crusader’ to people who only have a high school education.

N e ways, from what I have read, HARD is a Los Angeles ‘party’ brand that attempted to increase the scale of their production. Instead of being held in some ‘vacant lot’ where relative tweenlectro chaos could be isolated, they attempted to move into a basketball arena where Magic Johnson used to play. From what I understand, the Great Western Forum is probably just waiting to be torn down since the Staples Center was built and the Lakers moved there. It seems like they probably just hold ‘Second Class events’ and try to turn a decent profit. It seems like this is the risk of holding a non-mainstream event–u will attract the wrong type of people into your facility, and the even will go horribly wrong.

Seems weird to see alt ppl ’sitting in seats’ at an electro event as opposed to ’standing’/'dancing.’ They seem to have ‘restless leg syndrome.’

Looking into the distance, wondering how much more meaningful their lives’ would be if they were ’sitting in the front.’

The desire to not be a ’second class citizen’ relegated to the bleachers caused tons of alternative ppl to ‘jump down’ from the second level, in a quest to put themselves in a position to have a meaningful electro nite.

Because of bros like this, the event was a ‘huge disaster’ because there was no sense or order/control.  I feel like people who didn’t ‘get’ why you had to go to high school usually have a difficult time understanding ‘how to act’ in public.  Like their parents never ’scolded them’ when they were young for ‘running around a restaurant’, reinforcing the need to conform for the sake of social order.

After watching this video, u can see how the alternative culture in Southern California ‘totally ruined’ the event because they had no sense of order. I feel like this would never happen at a predominantly white, college educated Grizzly Bear concert. I think part of the California electro music scene has been ‘branded’ as ‘crazie and out of kontrol’, but u can see in this video that they are not meant to attend an event held in a ‘real facility.’  It seems like you should put them in some sort of ‘field’ and just have a huge pool of water for drinking + swimming + using the restroom.

I have heard ‘internet rumors’ that HARD oversold. Seems like maybe people all got the feeling that they would be ‘on the floor’ but then had to ’sit in the bleachers’ or something. Seems like a ‘huge nightmare.’ Wish there were just illegal underground parties where people did tons of drugs and listened to ‘electronica’ or something. It would be an absurd celebration where people dressed in sillie, bright costumes.

It seems like all of the ‘evacuated’ concert attendees ‘milled around’ the parking lot, looking to create their own meaningful experience as they rallied around the ‘disappointment’ and ‘hate’ of the ‘unfair police’ who shut that shit down.  

Maybe these micro-parties were more ‘memorable’ than a night where you sit in bleachers watching an electro DJ play from several hundred feet away.  What is an ‘authentic experience’?

I feel like the people evacuating at the JAMBOREE Natural Disaster seem ‘legitimately panicked’ or something, as if their lives’ are in danger.

Seems ‘drastically different’ than the videos of the pissed off electro bros.

It’s just so weird, yall. It’s like there is this demand for an event that authentically unites people, rallying around the power of music, and ascending to a higher level of consciousness…but u have to pay $15-$35 for it, and then there are all these other fuckheads there. Just wish things happened naturally, like if Deathcabs played in a public space 4 free, and it got viral twitter buzz on the day of the concert.

Have yall ever gone to a concert/festival where ’shit went wrong’?
Whose fault was it?
Did u get a refund?
Can festival brands recover after 1 bad event?
Have concert organizers totally forgotten about ‘the consumer’?
Would u be pissed if u died at a music festival?
Does God make things happen 4 a reason?
Do u know how to get an ‘internship’ with the riot police in Los Angeles?
Should all concerts require riot cops, or is Los Angeles ‘more likely to have a riot’ since there is so much minority unrest?
Is it a bad idea to go to an event that involves too many ‘immature teens+tweens’?
Does every1 deserve a refund when ’something doesn’t go ur way’?

[Photo via StoneyRoads]

So there I was. At my first music festival. After my most recent personal brand installation (AltBro Version 1.1). Not gonna lie–I was jacked up (on Sparks + 5HourEnergy). I was ready for electrobangers, meaningful crowd surfing on rafts, and just being myself–being free. I downloaded a bunch of free mp3s from my favourite discobloghouse blogs, and I was able to identify every single song in every single DJ set before any of my alternative peers. I am one of the world’s leading scholars on the history of electro after 2k7.  Have yall heard of the internet site hypemachines?

I am at a festival. There are tons of interesting people here looking to have a good time.

My experience will be meaningful. I am an active participant in relevant cultural activities. I am an alternative brother. The keyword is brother. I am a part of a family. I am a part of something bigger than myself. My alternative family ‘gets’ me. Our alternative context gives us a way to evaluate & appreciate the world around us.

Alternative Brother. I am. AltBro is I.

XX BONUS CURRENT AFFAIRS COMMENTARY XX
yall are probably familiar with Heartrevolution through either their band/ice cream truck/lifestyle brand.

Kinda hope it drives through my alternative neighborhood on Halloween so I don’t have to go trick or treating to hunt-and-gather food 4 the next month.

IS n e 1 else worried about their lil ‘truck of treats’ melting?

Remember before the ‘financial crisis’ when people were worried about ‘global warming’? Kinda glad this ‘financial collapse’ happened cuz I can relate to it on an authentic level, instead of an ‘abstract’ ‘concept’ like the ‘ice caps’ ‘melting.’ Nvr rlly believed in globes warmsing.

LEVEL 1
Bands That Played Really Well, and Could Have Been Appreciated More If They Were Given a More Favorable Time Slot. Since you never want to say a headliner was your favourite performer, these are the best bets.
1. Small Sins
2. MGMT
3. Zykos

LEVEL 2
These relatively bigger acts transferred to the festival format very well, probably inspiring a lot of downloads when people got home.
4. I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness
5. Final Fantasy

LEVEL 3
When Generation Y ends up turning 40, these DJs will be doing corporate events, much like a Fortune 500 company now hires James Taylor or Paul Simon to entertain at an annual conclave.
6. Girl Talk
7. Diplo

LEVEL 4
The Pitchforkability of these acts are off the charts.
8. Cadence Weapon
9. Bus Driver

LEVEL 5
DJs that were pretty solid, but are still working on their marketing and differentiation plans.
10. DJ’s Manny and Bigface
11. DJ Jester

LEVEL 6
These bands sounded good. I’ll probably hear even more about them in the next 18 months and possibly say “Oh yeah. I’ve seen them live. I REALLY liked them.”
12. Celebration
13. White Denim
14. Battles
15. Car Stereo (Wars)
16. Clap! Clap!

LEVEL 7
The bands that are well-established, performed well enough, but you’ve already had them ranked high in the past.
17. mates of state
18. Okkervil River
19. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
20. The New Pornographers
21. Of Montreal
22. Cat Power

LEVEL 8
These bands made me feel like I was at a festival in Austin, TX.
23. Explosions in the Sky
24. Don Caballero

LEVEL 9
These acts are worth mentioning. I hope they open up for some one that I really want to see in the future, so I can appreciate them in the same capacity.
25. Ocelot
26. Grand Buffet
27. Brothers and Sisters

LEVEL 10
The bands from the HardXcore stage that a lot of people were apparently there to see. I didn’t see them, but I’m sure they were important to a lot of people.
28. Murder City Devils
29. Against Me!

A solid lineup did well to fill up the 2 day festival. Small Sins was definitely impressive. It’s usually not my type of music, but they managed to transcend their ‘Early on the 1st Day’ time slot, putting enough energy in to the show to warrant the number one spot. Just the kind of band that you’d feel way more comfortable with so many people loving instead of Of Montreal.

[MP3s]
Small Sins It Keeps Me On My Toes
MGMT Electric Feel
Girl Talk That’s My DJ

Other more formal reviews:
Both Sides of the Mouth (Go there if you want some MP3s)
Party Ends!
Austinist – Day 1
Austinist – Day 2