Language is so weird, yall. Sometimes I feel like it isn't useful, like we can just communicate with images, videos, life experiences, and memes. For example, I watched this video, and even though I don't know French, I can 'relate' and 'totally understand' what this video is all about. I am not sure if these are like famous French rappers like Tony Parker-Longoria or Yelle, but it seems like a similar product. There are also black girls dancing, making it okay that a white Euro is utilizing the art of rap, usually reserved 4 African Americans.

Still feel sort of pissed off that Euros are so obsessed with American stuff, including 'Gossip Girl', Michael Jackson (Justice), John Hughes films (M83), and ScarJo (The Teenagers). Tired of 'fucking Frogs' stealing American culture. Wish that they'd just stay 'weird' like Daft Punk and Sebby Tellier.

Can some1 translate this rap song 4 me?
Does if have themes about 'getting drunk', 'fashion', 'partying' and other stuff that black/alt ppl celebrate?
Does n e 1 know if this was filmed in my local scene, or if every where in the world looks like this place?

Sometimes I wish rappers would just write real songs about 'needing 2 get ur dick sucked' by the end of the night, or having sex with multiple women [via date rape drug], or maybe just a song about 'masturbating urself 2 sleep.'

[Photo by Julien Dubois]
I wish I lived in a country where electronic music was more vital to the economy than oil, corn, and telecommunications. If I lived in France, my life would be more authentic. It looks like a place where no1 is afraid to D.A.N.C.E. It looks like a place where u can be urself, even if that means wearing neon shirts and stuff like that. It looks like a place where things are authentic enough to keep me from becoming a blatant consumer-coreAltBro. A place where I can listen 2 music without worrying about the image attached 2 bands, and just appreciate the 'art' part of music. Sounds scary...but kinda rewarding.

[Photo by Looking4PoetryFlickr]
So did yall go to the Techno Parade? Do u wish ur city had a Techno Parade? Or would you rather have them call it a "Bloghouse Parade" or a "French House FilterCore parade"? Did Jousteece and Yelle get 2 perform? (sorry dont really know what tecktonic0 is.)

Are Techno Parades the new Gay Pride Festivals/Raves/Local Festival that celebrates ur city's lame culture?

[Photo by subli//flickr]
Is there anything more annoying than a French person having a good time, yelling stuff that u don't understand in French? Maybe I wouldn't have had fun at the Techno Parade unless I bought some Rosetta Stone tapes.

I'm rlly still not sure about the differences between certain genres in electronic music. Have u ever been listening 2 some amazing bloghouse/electro, and some1 says 'I didn't know u listened 2 techno?" Does that offend u, yeah?

Just want 2 study abroad in Paris and be where I belong. ////
Just want 2 b where I belong. ////
Just want 2 b. //

XX BONUS GUY WHO DEFINITELY HEARTS TECHNO XX

[/dam on flickr]
[meme hijack via twentysomethingtumblr]

Does this mean France is winning the electroWar?
SRSLY tho...is the Postal Service 'techno' or 'meaningfulcore'?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHfzrqLIniE&hl=en&fs=1]
I think in the future, we won't be able to tell the difference between what is ALT and what is CHRISTIAN.

For example, we don't know if the popular band JUSTICE (aka Jousteece) is a Christian rock band, or a band from France/the Vatican.

What will the cover of Justice's next album look like? Does their graphic design team have a way to convert this powerful image into a quirky, interesting aesthetic? I think the plain 'cross' is getting boring, so they probably need to 'spice it up' with a little bit of Savior, if u know what I mean...

(H8 u Pontius Pilate)

Good luck, So Me!

Lately, MTV has been doing these in-depth investigative journalism pieces about parts of the world no1 has ever heard about. I wanted to share these rlly informative pieces with yall, because I assume that if you read this blog, you are one of the most culturally-connected persons within your local community. You are a first-line tastemaker, and you deserve to know about [EXCLUSIVE] stuff like this.

Please note that these videos are [HIGHLY RECCD], not only because you get to see John Norris' never-ending-quest to be a lil alt, but because you want to understand what it's like to participate in the revolution that is a geographically-contained creative renaissance.

Note: HIGHLY RECCT VIDEOS MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE IN YOUR RSS READER
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Un-Earthed Location #1: A small American city called "Portland, Oregon."
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Did this video almost make your head explode, too? SRSLY. I rlllly hate Portland and any other 'second tier' cities that claim to be culturally relevant by playing up the whole 'alternative gimmick.' There is an excess of shitty musicians who are Starbucks/Chili's employees in every city, so I hate when a city's personal brand revolves around 'sounding like they really mean it when they make their shitty music/attend their shitty, awkward concerts.'

I'd say Austin, TX is pretty good example of 'shitty city who is gimmickifying it's underwhelmingly-alternative brand', too. Most of the music in Austin, TX is more approachable indie fodder than the Portland concept crap, so I'll give the edge to Portland when it comes to 'moderately alt cities that major-city-alts-want-to-move-to-bc-they-think-their-life-will-be-simple, yet-authentic,yet-still-as-alt as they feel comfortable with.' No matter what, we all need an alt-city full of alts to feel comfortable around without the high-cost-of-living that major metropolitan areas have. Don't you feel like you have met a lot of people who have idealized Portland and Austin as 'heaven on alt-earth'? Like they imagine settling down with a humble-&-emotionally-connected trophy alt who is done with his/her 'partying phase' and ready to start buying well-designed carriages for their newborn babies (lil alts).

Common traits of overhyped 2nd rate alternative cities:

• Perception of being 'green'
• Perception of a bustling 'local economy'
• A high 'basically unemployment' rate (this figure represents people who are over 30, but still have the jobs a 16 year old would have)
• An excess of corporate and independent coffee shops
• An excess of people with too many tattoos working in independent coffee shops
• An excess of coffee shop employees playing RLLY gimmicky 'interesting' music in coffee shops during their shifts/playing the albums of their friend's band who sound exactly like _______
• Overhearing the 'future plans' of people who work in these coffee shops to start their own business in design/food/recordstore/boutique/other alternative biz idea.
• An excess of people in bands that have shows in an excess of venues
• An otherwise stable maintream economy which allows the alternative population to work in the service industry. While this usually happens in all cities, the minorities in the service industry are replaced by these aging alts.
• Overhearing all of these people talking about stuff that was cool between 2 to 40 years ago. They basically have a 2 year delay on 'what is currently cool' and usually just rely on 'liking aesthetics/bands that are from before 1985.'
• A handful of decent bands, a few imitators, and a bunch of krappie bands that have tied their identity to their home city and guilt their friends into attending their show/post a lot of myspace bulletins to impressionable local-17-year olds.
• They attempt to assert their city-wide inferiority complexes by having excessive representation when it comes to liberal activities, particularly 'marches.' Examples include Gay Pride Marches, Anti-Racism Marches, Marches Against 'The War', and general Marches Against Stuff That Exists Because of Conservative People.
• These cities have significant populations of 'cool dads' and 'free spirited moms' by choice/believe in their personal images, as opposed to the real-city versions of these parents who are simply 'participating in a gimmick which they have no control over.'
• A lot of these cities have a major university or a well-branded liberal arts school with a progressive identity which the 'hip side of town' feels like they need to cater to in order to keep up sales of vegan wraps, pizza-made-from-only-organic-ingredients, and interesting t-shirts.

N e ways. Do yall like these types of cities or what? Am I wrong? Should the Mayor of Portland 'show me around the alt side of town' and then 'take me on a tour of their business district'?

I think a lot of cities/hip communities within a city all have some of these traits. Did I miss n e traits?

[PLEASE NOTE: I DO LIKE STARFUCKER FROM PORTLAND, BUT I WILL STOP LIKING THEM WHEN PEOPLE START CALLING THEM 'THE NEXT MGMT' AND THEIR RCRD LABEL FORCES THEM TO CHANGE THEIR NAME. ]

[PLEASE NOTE: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL PHASE WHERE I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE MICROPHONES AND HAVE DECIDED TO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FROM PORTLAND SERIOUSLY IN ORDER TO FORGET THE PERSON WHO I USED TO THINK I WAS IN 2KNEVER.]

[PLEASE NOTE: I H8 95% OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET FROM PORTLAND. I THINK I JUST DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK WHERE THEY LIVE IS ANY MORE/LESS INTERESTING THAN N E WHERE ELSE.]

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Unearthed Location #2: A country called France

Can some one please explain the differences between the bands JUS-TICE and JEW-STEESE? If they are going to use an American world, I think they should say it like a proud American. "Justice" was a concept invented in America, so it doesn't matter how.

N e ways, this video is s00 true. Those Frenchies are stealing our culture and selling it back 2 us. SOME1 NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. Our American alternative celebrities are letting us down. Also, the American government should ban foreign artists from utilizing our memes and media from the past in order to make money off their art. America should probably ally with Australia in the ElectroWar.

Journalists need to stop focusing on geographic locations, and start realizing that
we all live on the Internet. There's no such thing as a 'city' n e m0re, yall. We're all citizens of Blogville/the blogosphere/the memesphere/the information super fagway.

In conclusion, we need America to unite as a nation to create popular alternative music. Carles is doing his best to help the United States by working hard on the HIPSTER RUNOFF debut EP.

HRO is sooo mainstream. I can't believe I still blg abt all of these mainstream bands that are alllll over MTV.

I'm just searching for authentic authenticity. :-(

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
That's the sound a certified BANGER makes, and the way a BANGER makes your insides feel. While Bangers were memorable in 2007, and some DJs, producers, and record labels really banked on the BANG economy, it's tough to predict the future of the BANGER.

If 2007 was the year of the BANGER, then 2008 is the year of the ______?

Check out this song by Justice. They're French, and they might be one of those 'we're pretending to be brothers' bands, but I've only read information on them in French, so I can't tell. Much of their image draws from the iconography of the Cross. I couldn't find any pictures of them, or any youtube videos of their live sets, but this is basically what I gather from their image:

"Waters of Nazareth" is so BANGING that it would loosen the nails from the hands and feet of Jesus, free him from the Cross, and enable him to fulfill his lifelong dream of outsourcing his startup IT firm to BANGalore.

[MP3]
Justice Waters of Nazareth