from the future | Hipster Runoff

from the future

What Authentic Alts Will Look Like In 2k9

Is any1 else nervous/excited abt the future?  In the future, people will finally be able to express who we rlly are.  No more 'being conservative' just 2 'fit in.'  In the future, we will all be authentic.  The clothes at our local mall will finally represent our progressive personal brands.  We will all be friends with people who 'truly' 'understand' who we 'are.'  We will embrace, and take photographs, and our moments will live forever.

In the future, all women will be forced to have bangs that span at least (0.5 * the circumference) of their head.  Each woman will be identified by origami corsages of various colours.

In the future, we will all fuck one another, no matter what type of hole we have.  We will not 'make love' to people/genders--we will make love to souls.

In the future, we will all have beautiful, authentic souls.

Azns in Corsets: Big in 2k13


[Img by EasyFashion]
It's kinda weird how AZNs are starting to get so image conscious. I wish we lived in a world where no1 cared about what n e 1 looked like. Maybe hijab fashion is the way to go. Maybe the Arab world is right, encouraging women to 'cover up' so no1 really thinks about 'bein sexie' or 'wearin keut clothes.'

It's getting so hard to have a unique personal brand. I'm willing to go to great lengths to fit in, but I don't know if I am dedicated enough to wear a pleather corset & get a progressive anime-haircut. :-(
Times r changing. Am I getting older? Do kids in suburbia wear corsets? All I ever wanted 2 do wuz 2 b authentic.

BUT SRSLY YALL...

Aren't yall glad that we get to live wirelessly? I would hate for my body not 2 have wireless capabilities.

[Photo by Facehunty]
I can't even imagine life before wireless internet when we had to be plugged into a wall, and it wasn't even that fast! But now I'm so spoiled. I am as free as my Mac Lappy. I can basically go n e where in the world, since there is a 3G wireless network of natural & social resources that allow me to 'disconnect from the machine.' Kind of reminds me of the move The Matrices starring Keanu Reeves, which I only watch because of the epic rave scene!

However, I was thinking of going 2 a thrift store to buy this retro iBook. What do yall think? Is it authentic to 'utilize retro technology'?

Should I get GPS installed on my vespa?

WHO AM I and/or WHAT DO I BELIEVE IN?

Is n e 1 else afraid of being murdered/dying?


[Photo by Preggers Goldfish]
Some people fear death. Some people fear murder.
I think it would be terrible to die at the hands of:
a) an altClown JasonMasked sneakerfreak with a tat sleeve & a necklace designed by Masterlock
b) an escapee from an alternative asylum where the mandatory wardrobe includes eye makeup masks, a straight jacket by Marc (via Marc Jacobs) and some kutesy striped undies
c) an AZN DJ
d) a failed alt
e) a festivalBro on LSD during a Jack Johnson/Crystal Castles Show
f) a trivial electro producer who was angry that his track was only blurbed about once on a now defunct blog that posted pretty much anything
g) a hipsterrunoff// commenter
h) a child predator
i) an alt in Child Predator Glasses
j) Choose.Your.Own.Murderer

XX BONUS GRANDMA FROM THE FUTURE XX


[Photo by AltaMira NYC]
In the future, retirement homes will be replaced with scooters and old people will be given Amazon Kindles by the government.

The Amazon Kindle: It's like a book on a screen, and u can read blogs on it too!

I wonder if they I can plug it into my iPod FeistChromatics Nano and get my iPod to speak the words in the book.

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