HIPSTER RUNOFF

[GadeMode]
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever kill some1 b4 I die. Not sure if I could ever b angry enough 2 'kill some1' bc my life is too interesting 2 be spent behind bars. But sometimes u wonder if a homeless/crazy man will attack u, and u will end up semi-accidentally, yet justifiably murdering him. If ur going to do that, u need to have a witness, so don't travel alone at night, yall.

I just want to know that I will look fashionable if I were ever 2 end some1's life. Don't want to 'stand out too much', but don't want to just be another thug in a black hoodie. Might go 2 Am Appy 2 see what they have.

n e wayz...

Do yall listen to Brian Wilson, Panda Bear or Charles Manson?

Do yall wish more serial killers/cult leaders would make music 2 try to understand them?

Miss yall. (not rlly. glad those weird0s are off my planet. h8 yall. h8 h8.)

(glad u can't send bombs [via email])

[Photo via GadeMode]
Does the altest couple on Earth wear Palestinian scarves as a display of unity & oneness in their relationship? Instead of 'asking some1 out', should we just start presenting the relationshipee with some sort of accessory that we both plan on wearing for the duration of our 6 month relationship?

Do yall prefer to be the relationshipor or the relationshipee when it comes 2 starting a relaish?

Or is the Altest Couple In the World a GHEY couple?

[Photo frum StyleScout]
Instead of trying to find some1 that we are 'compatible' with, should we all just try to find some form of a SUGARDADDY? Every1 wants a father figure who will take care of u and give ur life a lil bit of direction. There's nothing wrong with one man setting the values by which you live your life. Even if ur father abandoned u and ur mother, u can be confident that another man will be willing to step in and give u the exact same controlling-yet-loving experience that dads give their kidz.

Is it time to give up on searching for your alternative soulmate? It might be, yall. Maybe soul can't always meet body, so u sometimes just have to 'look out for urself.'

I need 2 find more electroSugarDaddies . Do yall know where I can find any?

[Photo by Style Sightings]
Yall. I got drafted. I'm going away to the electro war. :-( Am I gonna die? Is some1 going to knock on my free-spirited mom's door to tell her that I died?
<3 Saving Private Carles <3

I'd probably be okay with dying if I got to wear this keut pair of male gladiators sandals. I used 2 think that they were only for girls, but I guess hi-level alternative males are starting to get in2 them.

Does n e 1 have a Lenscrafters/EyeMart gift certificate lying around? I need 2 buy new glasses from the 'sillie section', which is where I bought my shuttershades and neon wayfarer frames with no lenses.

xX BONUS MALE NIP SLIP XX

s00 intentional! h8 people who r tryin' 2 hard 2 be sexie (bowl cut).
[Photo by GadeMode]

[Photo by GadeMode]
Yall--I used to think that only wearing Yankees/Dodgers caps were alt/'hip hop authentic' or whatever. I don't know if this guy is wearing an Arizona Diamondbacks hat because he likes the team, or he saw it and realized it coordinated with his zany purplish outfit, or because it's a 'random obscure hat' in the foreign country that he lives in.

It's weird 2 think about our global 'thrift store' economy. On my side of the world, the jersey of a popular Professional Japanese Gymnastics team might be 'ironic/alt', but on the Eastern side of the world, it would be 'mainstream.' I guess that's why American Appy's brand is s0 global--there are no unique identifiers (except sometimes stripes/Afrikaan prints).

soo weird how the internet is uniting alts around the world into a global scene that we all need 2 b passionate about. We have a responsibility 2 do more research instead of just putting on clothes with logos that we don't truly understand. It would kinda be like wearing a sillie shirt with a 'nazi brand logo.'

but srsly, do yall believe in aligning alternative personal brands with 'iconic/ironic baseball caps', or do u think it's a little bit too 'urban streetwear fashion asshole'ish?

I know yall are rlly interested in how to protect yalls selves when the electro war officially starts. Fortunately, some of the most fashion-forward people in the world are responsible for designing the armor that soldiers will be wearing as we fight for authenticity/bragging rights that our nation is the most relevant electro-country in the world.

You can see the girl above has a protective shell which will protect her from guns, n bombs, n electro bolts n stuff like that. She is kinda keut, but it sucks that u couldn't be in a relationship with her because u couldn't give her hugs (sometimes u just need some1 to be ur embrace now).

I also enjoy this electro soldier in a Pakistani scarf, electro little boots, neon purple pants, & some socks that indicate that she wants 2 kill U.

Are those child predator glasses or aviator glasses? How can u tell the difference between a pilot and a predator these days?

[Photos via GadeMode]

Remember that electro soldier who looked like M. Bison from street fighter?
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/07/p0st-m0re-soliders-from-electro-wars.html

[Gade Mode ]
Sometimes, you can't really identify what sort of 'look' some one is trying to accomplish.

They make u ask questions to try to figure out the ultimate question: "WHAT IS THIS BRO ALL ABOUT?"

• Is he from another planet?
• Did he just get a gift certificate to Hot Topic?
• Is he attending some sort of alt Irish funeral?
• Is he a weirdo European/South American?
• What's the deal with the free-spirited bracelets?
• Is he going to a DropKickMurphies concert?
• Does he cut all of his jeans into cuffed-yet-frayed jorts in order to show off his collection of post-quirky dress socks?

Basically, this bro's personal brand is stuck in purgatory. He cannot decide who he wants to be. He is PurgatoryBro.

Here is a flow chart representing your self-concept, and how it can ascend into heaven (altness), or end up in hell.

What does heaven mean 2 u?
Who is stuck in hell?
Doesn't it suck that we all have 2 walk the Earth as mainstreamers b4 we can ascend into altness? (Even lil alts who are sculpted by their parents experience at least 48 hours of being mainstream b4 they are dressed like lil alts.)
Is G-d a man or a woman?

If the altGods came down from AltHeaven, and told u that u had to wear a t-shirt which featured a sillie rendering of a free-spirited penis that may or may not have an STD for the rest of ur life, which shirt would u wear?

The sillie phallic symbol face t-shirt? (Please ignore the post-TV on the Radio blipster on the left).

[Photo by GadeMode]

or the Yo Gabba Gabba/Kid Robot penis-infected-with-bumps t-shirt (made for cool dads and lil alts)?

This is almost as difficult a decision as the time I had to decide between t-shirts with shutter shades on them. :-(
Which 1 represents the real me.
I just want 2 express myself (yall) in a way that represents my authentic personal brand.

[Photo by GadeMode]
What's the deal with this kind of glasses? Are they intended to be post-post-ironically functional glasses for people who actually have poor vision? I've seen them on a few Cool Dads, but part of me thinks they make a man look krazier than Child Predator Glasses.

Should they be called "Cool Dad Glasses"? Or like "alt safety goggles"?

This style of glasses combined with intense sideburns can make you look like the kind of person who has murdered some one and destroyed all of the evidence [via wood chipper]. This may or may not be worse than child predator glasses.

But srsly, here's a picture of Ben Gibbard with the think tank that put Death Cab together when they were all 12 years old with the hopes of establishing the meaningful-core genre.

These dudes:DeathCab :: Lou Pearlman : NSYNC + BSB