HIPSTER RUNOFF » Gas Prices

Will I kill my BFFs if I text while I am driving?

Carles — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:21:19 +0000

I just watched this public service announcement marketing gimmick, and it makes me very afraid to text while I drive.

From what I understand, if I text while I drive, 2 of my bffs will be ‘brutally killed’ in a car accident. I will also kill some lil kid’s parents and leave the child orphaned. Jesus. Feel overwhelmed, like I would have a lot guilt 2 live with 4 the rest of my life if I was in some sort of text-driving accident. Like texting while driving is possibly ‘more dangerous’ than drunk driving or something, because u don’t really ‘consciously remember’ a drunk driving accident.

It seems like the theme of this video is that ‘people need to stop text driving because cleaning up accidents means that the government wastes tons of money.’ If text-related auto accidents are worthy of punishment, I believe that we shouldn’t do so much to try to save these horrible people. It seems plausible that we should not utilize the jaws of life to save the criminals, but instead we should possibly transport them to be ‘burned alive within their car.’ Based on the feelings of h8 and anger that this video evokes, I feel like this would be a fair, cost-effective punishment.

I am not sure if it is kewl to do ‘other shit’ while driving. Tons of pundits say that ur supposed Some state laws don’t even let u talk on the phone while u drive. It makes me sad that our nation is s000 dependent on cars. People don’t realize that if we cut out the ‘gas guzzling bullshit’ we will cut our ‘dependence on foreign oil.’ As yall know, the only reason that the dark side of the world has any influence is because they are chilling on top of most of the world’s fossil fuels.

Can’t believe Public Service Announcements have 2 be ’s000 graphic’ in order to get people’s attention. I wish that people still had ‘good parents’ who ‘taught them life lessons’ instead of just buying them a video game console, a cheap desktop computer, and meals from fast food restaurants. Advertisements like this really make me feel like ‘the world is ending’ or like I legitimately have ’something to be afraid of.’

Worried that I’m going to die at the hands of a tween who is sending a text while driving.
Srsly need to move to ‘the city’ so that I don’t have to drive, and I can just
Do yall rlly think that texting is so dangerous?
Worried that I’m going to go to jail for using my phone when it is ’seriously an emergency’ even though I am driving.
h8 laws.
Wish we lived in a perfect society where ppl didn’t even need cars and we didn’t need oil from the Middle East.
Teens ruin everything. :-(
Does n e 1 know why European people drive on the wrong side of the road?

Previous Teens + Texting Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/i-wish-there-more-ways-to-sexually-pressure-my-girlfriend-as-a-tween.html

h8 gas prices s0 much ryte now

Carles — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:21:00 +0000

Yall. I’m scared abt the future. Right now gas prices are like $10 a gallon in my suburban area/major metropolitan area, and if things keep up, it’ll be $20 per gally by 2k9. Sux s0 bad ryte now.

So is the RAZR Scooter the Toyoto Prius of the future? Since our economy is so bad, and gas prices are so high, we’re going to see a lot of people save money by making their gender ambiguous/riding scooters for 8 year olds. I think this guy is also representative of the PERSONAL BRAND RECESSION that we are in right now. There just aren’t enough unique personal brands to go around, so u have to search for something zany to make u feel unique. For example, this bro is wearing a hoop earring AND a dangly earring. If we weren’t in a personal brand recession/depression, this never woulda happened.

I know that people are worried about emissions and relying on the Dark Side of the World that is home to a lot of oil/Texas Tea/’brown drank’/etc. I think our world would be a lot easier if we found a way to get all of those natural resources into America. Then we wouldn’t have to ‘go2war’ with the Dark Side. Iraq was kinda bloggable, tho. Remember Saddam Hussein’s sons? (don’t miss yall)

N e ways. Should I buy a HybridJetta or a segway? I am bad at parallel parking, so maybe a seggy might help strengthen my personal brand. It will really bring out the ‘mall security guard’ in me.

Rising Gas Prices Ruin Things For Every1

Carles — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:19:00 +0000

Whether you are alt or mainstream, a soccer mom or a free spirited mom, a cool dad or a demanding dad…our global economy is in trouble and you are feeling it in your wallet. Manyof the problems stem from the fact that Arab druglords and warlords are in charge of the world’s oil, but I did not study political science-y stuff in college. Sometimes I step back and think about how krazie it is that we need all of this black stuff from the ground 2 make our lives’ easier…

With that being said, it’s important to note that our global gas crunch has ruined things for this lil alt human accessory. As opposed to being driven to her Summer Enrichment Courses in a minivan with a DVD player, or a spacious Toyota Camry, she was forced to be chauffeured by her mom on a skateboard. You can see a bandage on her left leg which we can only assume was caused by an accident on the cobblestone roads of the netherworld in which she lives.

I think it is good for free-spirited mothers to express themselves, but I don’t now how I feel about converting urself into a rickshaw to transport your kid.

Have yall ever been poor? Remember when Jewel lived in a van?

[Photo by The Face Huntbro]

I have a dream that one day every kid will have parents who are able to afford vintage conversion vans.