HIPSTER RUNOFF

Digital technology and social media can be liberating for any human being, no matter your age, race, size, color, or religious background. It gives is the opportunity to capture moments 4evr, but these moments become meaningless rituals. Every year, we go to a local retailer to purchase Christmas gifts. But what if I told u that ur mundane reality was ready 2 be challenged?

At first, I was confused. Just searching for the Michael Buble/She & Him Christmas album in the music section of Target. A crappy version of Wham's "Last Christmas" came on. Old people swarmed from hidden aisles, dancing around like savages. I was annoyed. I stopped--I stared. I saw my entire life flash b4 my eyes. I saw myself growing older. This was truly their last dance. Their first and last digital footprint that will be uploaded 4evr into the cloud.

Old ppl vibing in a flash mob.
This is what it means 2 be alive.

Later that day, I was going shopping for cargo jeans at JCPenney's. It happened again. A tribe of wonderful old people, delightfully dancing around. Challenging social norms. Being alive. Celebrating. I could not escape from the zombie-like shuffle of their dance moves. Smiling, laughing, eager to share links with their loved ones.

I no longer felt afraid to grow older, uglier, fatter, irrelevant-er, out of touch-er, insane-er. Seeing these old ppl flash mob made me know 4 sure that no matter how old I was, I could still broadcast myself 2 the world. Old. Haggard. Lamestream. There is beauty in the breakdown of my body.

I settled down into the cafeteria for a jello dinner. It happened again. Confused. Alive. Sad. Alone. Together. The feelings of a flash mob. The feelings of an old person.

When u r old, will u participate in flash mobs?
Did these old ppl 'kill the vibes' or challenge social norms?
Do these old ppl make u feel 'alive' or 'effing doomed'?
Do old ppl make u smile, or do they make u cry?
Will u put ur parents in a home that facilitates flash mob behavior, or will they just be put on tons of meds and left to gaze into a tv screen while they shovel liquid-based foods into their mouths?

Lately I have been attending numerous live concerts after 'going on a break' from 'going to shows' since the audiences got too tweeny. I have been going through a very concertially existential crisis, and really thinking about 'why am I here?' 'Why did I make the extra effort to see this band?' 'Am I trying to connect with a group of like-minded people?' 'Do I really 'get something' out of seeing a band's music performed live?' 'Should I just listen to things on headphones while staring at a computer screen?' 'Do I not like going to concerts because of people who have a personal brand that says I<3music, but don't really 'get' what it means to be alive in the modern world?'

As I have grown older, I have started to see 'the larger picture' about 'the concertgoing experience.' The truth is that concerts are 'always the same' but the only thing changing about the concert is U. You are growing older, moving from demographic-to-demographic. The way you feel about 'life' is constantly changing, and based upon the version of 'loneliness'/'fulfillment' that you feel, you will interpret any experience differently--concerts are an essential part of the modern human experience.

These are the general age demographics who 'attend concerts' and a synopsis of 'their general conscious experience.'

Ages 12-17: The era of idealizing 'the modern indie concert experience.'

You don't really understand what 'indie rock'/etc. usually is, and experiences like Warped Tour, Coachella, and Regional music festivals are 'lumped into a category.' You see music as something that brings people with similar interests together. You are going to graduate from high school soon, and after that, who knows what might happen? Maybe u'll be able to go to famous clubs, see famous bands, meet internet-famous people, and live the idealized life that is somewhere between 'Almost Famous' and 'Gossip Girl' or some other tv show/movie.

This is just an era of 'being naive' and 'not knowing the correct websites to view' in order to stay relevant.

Photo by the Sartorialist

I walked in on my dad looking at himself in the mirror
naked
He did not know I was watching him
He looked analytical, somber, reflective, and sad

Lately, my father has been losing hair
gaining weight
getting older
Making more choices to make himself seem 'more youthful'
but ultimately acting 'dumb' and 'self-destructive'

He cheated on my mom
It makes her sad
but I think he is insecure
Overheard him yell, "SHE MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG AGAIN."
He also keeps asking me 'what bands do u listen to?'
and bought tickets to a Kings of Leon concert

I think they just need 2 talk about getting older
and embrace that life ends
and that u need 2 surround urself with 'people u authentically <3'
Not sure if it healthy to 'feel sad' about getting older

Maybe there is just a time in ur life
where u need to 'sit on the couch, turn on the TV, and stop sulking'
realizing that the 'best' days of ur life r behind u
and in the future u will only become more physically incompetent
and unable to keep up with the pace at which society/technology changes

It makes me sad that we're all getting older
I just want to feel and look the same
as I did during 'my prime'
Worried that my 'prime' has passed
or maybe I am not 'happy' during 'my prime'

Want 2 be a tween again
'but wouldn't give up the knowledge I have now'
If only our parents knew
how easy their lives' were
since they didn't have to deal with stressful modern issues
like 'sexting' and 'sexually transmitted diseases' and 'information overload' and 'memes'

Just want 2 b happie?

They only want u when ur seventween
when ur 21
ur all old and ur sexual organs are probs contaminated

////////////////////
do u feel urself 'getting older'?
R ur parents going through 'a mid life crisis'?
R u afraid 2 get old cuz it means ur closer 2 dying?
Do u want to die of 'old age', 'a disease' or 'a tragic accident that is a bloggable meme.'