As you know, I have refrained from blogging about the Girl Talk live experience because of his increasing levels of inauthenticity. However, I noticed a lot of terrible things happening at his show that have to do with one of my biggest passions–’going green.’ For those of you who don’t know, the phrase ‘going green’ relates to ‘doing shit that will help 2 save our environment and keep humans around 4ever.’ As u can see, Girl Talk’s show is not very ‘green.’ Not sure what the opposite of ‘going green’ is.

It seems like the Girl Talk is a ‘celebration of waste’, like they are just converting a local park into a ‘huge fucking dumpster.’

Not sure if toilet paper shooting technology really enhances the live music experience. Most bands I have seen did not construct ‘waste machines’ that fling paper into the air–instead they focus on making authentic indie rock.

People even find a way to use the wasted toilet paper as ‘temporary clothes’, then they probs ‘wiped their metaphorical asses’ b4 throwing it on the ground.

Probably is some sort of ’status symbol’ at Girl Talk shows, much like mainstream kids are ‘proud of their Abercrombie’, alts at GT shows are ‘proud that the Lord delivered them some toilet paper’

Photos like this make me 100% certain that the ice caps will melt, and the oceans will flood 90% of the land on Earth during my lifetime.

If I had some tweenage kids, I probably wouldn’t let them attend a Girl Talk show. Not only are there structural dangers when it comes to ‘200 kids crashing a temporary stage’, but also it seems like a ‘big ass’ ‘tweenage fuckfest.’

Seems really unchill. Worried that there are ‘altbro predators’ there.

Ultimately, I am enraged that Girl Talk promotes such waste. We are trying to save the environment, but it seems like his live show figures that if ’shit gets crazy’, then it is worth it. The concept of ‘toilet paper’ is wasteful, as is the act of ’shooting that shit into the air on top of a sea of alts.’

Ultimately, I am sad that Jaime, the latino man who works as a foreman for the Parks and Recreation Department will have to clean up the mess.

Put litter in its place.
Support GREEN artists.
Save the Environment.
Save Jaime.

PHOTOS BY CLARISSA ROUDABUSH VIA freewilliamsburg

Feeling sad in a celebration of waste.

Do u have any solid ideas for what makes a festival ‘appear 2 be’ hella ‘fun’?
Which of these gimmicks ‘makes’ a music festival better?

Should music festivals go to Home Depot to buy leaf blowers in order to make more ‘toilet paper’ shooters?

Photos via cobrasnatch

Releasing ‘beach balls’ to simulate a coastal environment?

Booking a college-themed partie DJ?

Releasing an ‘inflatable heart’ to represent ‘the human spirit’?

Having a ‘cityscape’ as ‘the backdrop’ ur music festival [via meaningful setting]?

Would ‘free weed’ make music fests better?

Have moms of kids who are at the festival host a ‘bake sale’ to make people feel younger & let moms feel like they are a part of their alternative child’s life?

Building a rollercoaster that goes over the mainstage?

Constructing a huge slip n slide for people to ‘fuck’ and ‘grind’ on?

Really just want to attend ‘the perfect music festival.’

Please share your creative ideas, and other stuff that would make a music festival seem ‘hella cool.’ Every business is struggling to survive, and business entities must get back in touch with consumers if they want to stay around forever [via govt bailout].

What makes a music festival ‘meaningful’ 2 u?
If u had millions of dollars to throw a music festival, how would yall ‘throw it down’?

Have yall heard about this post-modern rock star? He seems pretty chill. Might download his album or something… but srsly yall. It’s weird how Girl Talk’s brand is still being consumed by mainstreamers. Like they are discovering some ‘gem’ or something. I guess what we have learned is that Girl Talk does nothing too special as a DJ, but his brand is strong and identifiable–he is white, used to have a ‘real job’, and represents our inner-whitebro having a good time, partying & becoming the person we want 2 be. I guess that makes him ‘creative’ or something. Wonder how much he charges for a DJ gig. Glad I was into him ‘before he was too famous’ [via "I'm a PC" ad]

Also saw that Damien Hirst was on this list.

Not really familiar with any artist other than Andy Warhol, so I read up on this bro. Apparently he sells are for ‘a shit load of money’ even though it is stupid. He apparently sold some gold shark or something for $1 million. He is apparently going to sell his cadaver after he dies to make some ‘art.’ Seems authentic/like a gimmick/like a dream job. Damn. Feel jealous. Can’t believe these creative people get paid for their passion, but I don’t get paid for what I love to do.

Is it still alt to deify Marc Jacobs? Wish people turned their backs on fashion designers like they do on bands.

Not sure how I feel about this list of creative people. I think Tyra Banks is on it. So is the guy who shoots the Sartorialist. So is the guy who designed the iPod/iPhone. Glad he got #1.

It’s weird when ‘magazines’ build these intense, deep lists of people who are influential. It’s like they take 1 person from every niche of the cool aspects of society that are covered by blogs. Think it might be some sort of scheme to get ‘mad hits.’ Tech bros + movie bros + design bros + music bros + government bros + female bros + African American bros + fashion bros + ______ bros. Important 2 pick diverse lists. Think that this list is ’sponsored by HP’ and some HP bro is on their list. Might be a scam. Might need to destroy my Hewlett Packard desktop/Photo+printer+scanner.

[Fast Company's 100 Most Creative People]

Yall. Saw this picture of some bro. Thought he looked a lot like 1 of my favourite DJs…

Hints:

• He is not AZN.
• He wasn’t on That 70’s Show
• He seems like a chill bro
• He invented ‘mashups.’
• His favourite baseball team is the Pittsburgh Phillies.
• He will play ‘crunk-ass’ parties on college campuses for the next 4-30 years.
• He ’stole’ Radiohead’s ‘pay what u want’ model 4 his most recent album
• Ppl who ’still see him’ are usually under the age of 19 / 16 / 8.
• He’s a “P.C.”
• He starred in the film Honey I Shrunk the Kidz, yall!
• He works in a factory that creates ‘Free AOL’ cds.
• Pitchfork gave his latest mixtape a 100 stars
• he has a party picture website that gets 1million hits per day

Who do yall think he is?

Who do yall think will be ‘big in 2k9′? Kinda like a girl that ‘every1 wants 2 tug 2.’ Yall know what I mean.

I have a feeling that Natalie Portman might ‘get famous’ in 2k9. She was in popular movies like the Garden States, and I think she played Keanu Reeves’ lovemate in The Matrix.

Another up and coming singer is the Katy Perrys. This is a picture of her before she ‘rebranded’ into a semi-attainable moderately alt broad with ‘breasts that u can make love to.’ This makes her attractive to men without isolating her from female markets.

I have also heard of this new mainstream band called Lady Gaga. She seems like she is taking ‘electro’ to the mainstream. She seems really unique, fashionable, and talented. Think she really ‘gets’ what life/dance music is all about.

I am not sure if I like her zany personal brand, or if she should have stuck with her ‘Sexie New Jerseyian’ brand.

Another person who I think will be big in 2k9 is The Jessica Simpsons. She used to be a reality star, but now she is starting to sing country music. She has a beautiful voice and is very talented. She invented ‘mom jeans’ in the early 00s.

Another band 2 watch is The Girl Talks. Now that they have officially ‘become popular’ and ‘mainstream’, we have 2 see if they are going to slip down in2 a spiral of ___________. R yall worried? What happens to ex-authentic alts when they become commoditized + mainstream?

Another band 2 watch is The Ches. They are a communist anti-establishment rock group. They sing about ideas like ‘communism’ and ‘fascism’ and ‘hipsterism’ and ‘war’ and ‘death’ and other stuff that sounds like Linkin Park.

N e ways… just wanted 2 let yall know what’s going on in ‘mainstream world’ since sometimes we forget that there’s all of these other people out there who like stuff that’s less interesting than ‘us.’

h8 mainstreamers, but u kinda have 2 follow it a little bit so that you make sure that you’re still alt, and not ‘becoming one of them.’

Who do yall think will be big/go mainstream in 2k9? What do yall know about these bands/acts/people that I don’t know about? Need yalls help so that I can keep my blog ‘modern.’

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This is a comment about missed opportunities.
This is a comment about the Girl Talks.

kyda69 says:

Ha! I remember when i first went to Pittsburgh and met some kandy raver chick when i was on xtacy at a drum n bass show.. I hung out wif her a couple dayz after that (tryin to get sum raver poon), and she took me to see her friend Greg play at some art gallery.. We went, and I thought the dude was a complete fucking nerd, playin mashed-up pop/rap to a “crowd” of about 10 people, and he was sweatin’ his ass off just like when he plays to packed arenas.. I blew him off when he tried to make friends with me, cause i thought he was just some meth-head dweeb.. Today, he’s playin for sold out arenas and makin cash that I only dream about.. Just goes to show ya, maybe you should be nice to those “entrylvlrs”, cause you just never fucking know.. WoW

YALL NVR KNOW.
TODAY’S ENTRYLEVELER IS 2MORROW’S ALTCELEB.

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This is a comment about design.
This is a comment about GRID theory.
GDer says:

so you’re talking about art & design shit. That’s OK to be an art bitch even you didn’t go to art school. However, one thing I can’t stand about this blog is the all-time ugly type running over the photo. You think it’s hip? NO! It’s really BAD, so BAD, unbearable. If someday I stop reading this blog, that will be the ultimate reason.

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This is a comment about reflecting on the past.
This is a comment about mourning.
This is a comment about SPARKS.

james says:

i remember the first time i saw sparks
i hadn’t even left for the city yet, i wasn’t even entry level yet
i was just james, soon to be art major in a major city on the east coast
i tried a little, and it tasted funny, but i loved it
when i was entry level, had my first tight pair of BDG jeans, a cool shirt designed by a local artist, and my first palistinian scarf (it was blue guys), i began to learn to love sparks
it was 2k7
i was entry
i was dancing to MIA
i just learned about a cool band called justice
i rid my first fixed gear bike
i  was developing my personal brand
and through it all…. sparks was there
sparks was there when i first heard mainstream people talking about MIA
sparks was there when agyness was no long single
sparks was there when my high school friends made fun of my “new look”
sparks was there when MIA “retired”
sparks was there for the good times as well though
sparks was there when MIA came back out of “retirement”
sparks was there when i created my unique personal brand
sparks was there when obama won
sparks was there when i went to girl talk and met him
sparks was there for it all man
at least now,
as an altbro growing into the altbag i’ll be in 2k9,
and I put down the Palestinian scarf because it’s “played out” and pick up my circle scarf
and shave my post-ironic mustache because I’ve grown out of it
and nostalgically listen to IN RAINBOWS
and smile at the future alt bros as they walk around campus
 i can say i was there
sparks was a part of my alt experience
now i suppose j00se will be good enough for me right now
but in the future, when i’m a post altbag twenty something
and i wont be going out as much because “i’m over it” or “i need to take my life seriously”
i’ll remember that there was a time
when sparks
ruled
my
(alt)
world

/////////////////
This in artistic reflection on the ability to only <3, h8, & miss.


///////////////////////////
This is a photo reflection which merges HRO theory with ur vintage Toyota Camry.

In 2k9, should I blog more abt cmmnts/user-created media?

I was watching this clip of Full House where Stephanie Tanner starts a band with Kimmy Gibbler and they play an Ace of Base Cover [via "I Saw the Sign"].

and I noticed something kinda weird about the name of their band…

THE GIRL TALKS–just like Greg Gillis.
This is the kind of reporting that Pitchfork, the Stereogums, and the Daily Swarm need 2 b doing yall. I am just a meme blog. I’m not ready 2 accidentally find out that I’ve been lied 2 my whole alternative life.

If I had know that the Girl Talks had stolen their name from Girl Talk, a tween Ace of Base coverband, would I still be a ‘fan’? I don’t know the answer 2 that question.

Just h8 being lied 2. Will probz stop blggng abt the Girl Talks now. Feel like my parents told me I was adopted or something.

// h8 u
[miss u]

John Stamos is like Madonna. He has found a way to reinvent himself and stay cool all these years.

R u going 2 burn ur copy of ‘Feed the Animals’?

Is it the altbro in the front of a DJ set wearing a sweat drenched hypemachine tshirt with his hand raised and his messenger bag over his shoulder full of vinyl records & a white Macbook?

Do u check the hypemachine more than u check myspace/fb? Does that make u authentic/ an authentic music fan?

Or is a better picture that captures the essence of altBro 2 altBros who brought overt indicators of having merged their personal brands with Girl Talk AT a Girl Talk concert?

[lastnitesaltbro]

Did yall read about Girl Talk in the New Yorke Times?
Are Mashups ‘art’? Does something automatically become ‘not art’ after 2 many inauthentic people like it? (a.k.a. the HRO in 2k9 theory)

Can some1 build a timeline that documents the mainstreamization of Girl Talk so that we can study how things go from ‘authentic buzzworthy viral’ to ‘maltsream’ to ‘mnstrm’ to ‘xx(main)streme)’ [a mix of X-treme+Mainstream].

Then I was reading a popular BrooklynHipsterNewsBlogAboutVegans, and I saw my meme come to life on a post-self-aware post-entrylevel meaningful alt having post-post-meta-ironic fun at a Girl Talk concert.

[Photo by Nilshot]

I feel rlly happy when one of my memes comes to life, kinda like a Progressive High School Teacher who feels gratified when students ‘extend concepts’ outside of the classroom.

<3 yall.
"Yall make my memes come true."
-to the tune of Hall and Oates' "You Make My Dreams Come True"

We need to come together and find one solution for each problem that humans have. (This is what Barry Obama will do. He will implement a national dress code.)

I wish PCs and Macs would realize that I am my own person. If I could build my own computer, I would. I only rlly need a lil machine with a few websites. Not like I need what they even offer.

“being yourself”: big in 2k1?

[learned about this ad from the popular news source The Daily Swarm]

BUT SRSLY…
does n e 1 know the most authentic way 2 make mashups?