HIPSTER RUNOFF » Glam Canyon

Still searching 4 my SUMMER LOOK: Football Shoulder Pads?

Carles — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:42:45 +0000

Photo via glamcanyon

I was looking for summer looks, and I noticed this bro wearing huge athletic shoulder pads. I think that they are supposed to be ‘protective.’ Might be inspired by ‘all of the drama in Iran.’ Like the whole world is about to turn into ‘a massive battlefield’, and we all have to be prepared for ‘riot police’/'nuclear weapons being dropped.’

I kinda feel relieved that Obama is in office now. If George W. Bush was in office, he would probably make us ‘nuke’ Iran, and we would probably have to go to war with them. Would be hella worried about ‘getting drafted.’ Not sure if I want to be drafted into a war. No sure how that would go. Wonder if the military camps would have wifi. Wonder if I could take my Macbook, or if I could only use compys in compy labs. Wonder if I could still download relevant mp3s from mp3 blogs.

I don’t wanna be drafted, yall. :-(

N e ways… Think that football pads seem pretty ‘alt’ in our modern world, but might become ‘mainstream’ soon. Might buy some ‘leopard print’ leggings to set myself apart. Just looking for a summer look.

Sorta reminds me of the most alternative bro of all time, John Alt.

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/the-worlds-most-alternative-athletes.html

Do yall have any good ideas 4 summer loox?

Sorta miss the days of sleeping over @my_boyfriends_apt

Carles — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:14:35 +0000

Photo by Glam Canyon

I sorta miss the old days, back when it was kewl 2 wear ur BF’s clothes the day after you slept over at his place. Used to just usually be an ‘oversized oxford shirt’, but think the trend is expanding. Think it is a sign that ur ’seriously committed to some1′–like a cobranding opportunity. This broad is proud 2 show off that she ’spent the night’ with ‘a very handsome man’ who chills in blazers and Oxford shirts. She even added some height by wearing some sort of platform shoes/shoes with rollerskates in them.

I feel like the ’swinger mentality’ might be ‘going out of style.’ Think that it is important to be in a relationship, and find ‘the 1.’ As fun as it might be to ‘put ur peen in a lot of holes’/'have ur holes filled by a lot of peens and fingers’, there comes a time when u just need to grow up and get into a long term relationship. Some1 who will be there 4 u. Some1 who u can grow old with. Some1 who u can ‘not get tired of’ and ‘won’t resent them as u see them growing older and fatter.’

Might build a time machine and spend my youth ‘becoming a twink’ so I can get a ‘bear’ boyfriend and sleepover at his place, get ‘rammed up my poop shoot’ and wear his big clothes. Feel like that life might be a good one. Just wanna be with some1 who loves me/lets me wear his work clothes+buys me nice things.

Previous sleeping over at BF’s and wearing his shirt coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/wearing-my-boyfriends-shirt

OR CLICK ON A GIRL FOR A VINTAGE HRO MEME

Wish I coulda slept with all of them.

Have yall ever worn ur significant other’s clothing?

Name That Alt Celeb Lookalike

Carles — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:54:01 +0000

I was browsing pictures of beautiful ppl, and noticed 1 who looked exactly like an alternative celebrity. Might actually be her. Can yall help me out and tell me who she looks like?

Photo by Glam Canyon

Who ‘the eff’ does this broad LOOK LIKE?

Hints:

She is currently dating Kanye West
She recently broke up the celebrity couple Green Aggs and Ham
She was in the movie Basic Instinct
She is dating Lindsay Lohan
She was in the movie Natural Born Killers
She is sad and crying black tears a lot because it is a metaphor for oil/the Middle East.

WHO DO YALL THINK IT IS?

The Search for the Most Authentic Scarf

Carles — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:37:35 +0000

Yall. Isn’t it kinda weird how scarves blur the line between ‘functional’ and ‘completely unnecessary’ depending on the weather? h8 people who ‘wear scarves when it is 65 degrees outside.’

Men with scarves = kinda like entry level altbags, or maybe like ‘people who shopped at the GAP for too long.’ Girls with scarves seem like they are ‘trying 2 hard 2 be kutesy’, but that might be bc of the limited range of scarves. Wearing a scarf does not give u an Instant-Brand like a lot of other possibly-useless accessories. S0 many types of scarves.

h8 u Palestinian scarves. trying 2 forget abt 2k8, yall.

[via lookbook]

h8 plain bitches/mainstreamers in scarves

h8 ‘zany scarves’

Don’t mind altbaguettes in progressive scarves that challenge existing design concepts

Do yall know if scarves that look like the blanket/quilt that ur mom has on the couch for people whose legs get cold is going 2 be big in 2k9?

[photo by GlamCanyon]
What’s next after the scarf? Trying 2 identify the core competencies of a scarf, and how we can make scarf technology a lil bit more obsolete? Are scarves essential+necessary, or are they kinda like the drinking straw?

Hopefuly American Apparel puts rain ponchos into production soon. Probs would wear one even when it’s not raining to make sure that my personal brand was differentiated from every1.

So this is the new year // and I (do/don’t) feel n e different, yall!

Has n e 1 ever knitted a meaningful scarf 4 u as a gift? Do u think they made it as a labor of love, or are scarves just ‘the easiest thing 4 entry levelers to knit’?

Is Super Mario Brothers 3 Authentic?

Carles — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:25:21 +0000

[Photo by The Sarty]
Sometimes I wish I could be a blipster so I could wear a lot more ’street wear’/'gimmicky products’ without looking like a complete ALTBRO-who-is-trying-too-hard. Just wanna wear video game t-shirts that I purchased from my local Hot Topic/videoGameStore. Just wanna create lego accessories. H8 that this bro can ‘pull off’ his semi-quirky look, but m0st people would just look kinda like ‘zany-core’ fggts if they wore this.

What is the most authentic video game thingy?
a) Super Mario
b) Mario 2 (only in America)
c) Mario 3
d) Super Mario Land
e) Mario Teaches Typing
f) Dr. Mario
g) Mario 64
h) Paper Mario
i) Super Mario Kart (authentic one)
j) Mario Kart 64
k) Mario Tennis
l) Mario Gold
m) Mario Party
n) prefer Wario products
o) prefer Luigi products
j) The Mario Brothers movie starring Dennis Hopper as Bowser
k) Mario FGGT
l) violent games that never end which u can play on the internet with people u don’t know
m) Choose.Your.Own.Response

XX BONUS ALT’S BEST FRIEND XX
Should I get my dog an altBro bandana?

[Photo by GlamCanyon]

As We Approach Halloween, I will try my best to dedicate more of HRO’s resource to finding the perfect Halloween Costume

Carles — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:46:29 +0000

Just want 2 know what I’m supposed 2 b.
Hard 2 b some1 else other than me.
Trying to be some1 who I actually wouldn’t mind being.

Should I be ‘nip slip’ M.I.A.?

Should I be a zany electroJungle JokerAlt Zebra?

Maybe I’ll be a freshman student at the University of Texas who just moved to Austin and is learning to experiment with ‘being alternative’.

[Photo by Tokyo Bopper]

Wonder if I’ll have time to make my ‘entity from an alternative underworld’ costume :-(

[Photo by Glam Canyon]

Guess I’m just gonna be ‘oops I crapped my pants‘ Justice

[Photo by Gade Mode]

HLP M3 YALL//////////

Still searching 4 my ideal Hallowen Costume

Carles — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:30:39 +0000

Halloween is coming up in just a lil bit.
Kinda getting anxious about ‘what I’m gonna be.’ I might have to go to the doctor to tell him I need some more of my anti-anxiety pills cuz I srsly can’t handle this kind of pressure. H8 dealing with real life + issues that no1 else understand.

N e ways… what should I be for Halloween?

Think I might end up just being DarkHearted Mickey Mouse.

[Photo by GlamCanyon]

I might just settle for being a Hotdog/ popular DJ with dancing edible items. I heard having dancing objects is the new MASKED DJs. PNAU implemented this gimmick a while ago.

Should I be a ‘think piece’ costume that represents Crimes Against Animals?

Should I just make a costume of an animal utilizing real animal fur? If I end up doing that, I might be a panda/polar bear/manatee.

should I be Girl Talk on a bicycle going to pick up some xtreme MTN DEW at his local grocery store?

Or maybe just a Black Eyed Pea Alt. (blipster)

[Photo by GadeMode]

Maybe I’ll just be Alice Glass in 20 years.

Unless yall speak up, I’m just gonna be Juicetise.

[Photo by Style Clicker]

Do yall have a costume yet?

Name that Alternative Celebrity LookALike [Mashup Edition]

Carles — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:22:16 +0000

[Photo by Glam Canyon]

This AltCelebLook-Alike is a human mashup of two separate alternative celebrity personalities. They have merged as one to create an intriguing-looking superAlt.

Do yall know which 2 altCelebs have merged into this one alt?

Hints:

One is a former HRO ‘it girl’/'tugbsession’
One is from Canada & the other is from the North Pole
One is zany/in touch with nature
One inspired a lot of girls to dress as a duck/swan costumes 4 Halloween.

DO YALL KNOW WHO IT IS?
Cheat Sheet Hint: It is not Uffie + Sarah Palin.

Oops I Crapped My Pants!

Carles — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:28:20 +0000

[Photo by GlamCanyon]

Yall. I’ve been seing alts wearing these sillie pants for the past couple of blog weeks, and I’ve been wondering what to call them. Do u think they are significant threat to skinny jeans, or are boot cut jeans about to ‘come back’? Or are stepdad jeans/standup comedian jeans the future?

Even blipsters are wearing these altGenie pants, yall!

[Photo by The Arab Parrot]

So what should we call them?

genie pants
altGenie Pants
Poopy McPoop Pants
SHIT HOLDERS
Pants Where Ur P00P can chill in for a while
“Oops I Crapped My” Pants

I think I prefer OOPS I CRAPPED MY pants because they already have a commercial.

[Alternate Link for nonAmericanz]

What do yall think?
Will altBros really be willing to give this look a try?

Should I be a gurle 4 Halloween?

Carles — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:44:47 +0000

Yall. I was just wondering if I should ‘cross dress’ for Halloween. It might be a good way for me to ‘get in touch with my sexualitie.’ I’m just trying to search for a costume that let’s people know about my true personal brand by conveying a temporary personal brand that sort of tells people that my true personal brand is ’smart, connected, & self-aware.’

Or should I be Chewbacca/a yeti for Halloween?

[photo via Style Blog]

Or should I stick 2 my original idea of being Justice for Halloween?

[Photo by Glam Canyon]

I’m so confused, yall.

Choosing a Halloween Costume is more difficult than choosing the person that I want 2 b every other day of the year. Halloween is just a few blog-hours away. Help. Plz.