HIPSTER RUNOFF » glasses

Read about these kewl new glasses called SLANTIES

Carles — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:38:57 +0000

Yall. I found out about this new product meme called SLANTIES. From what I read in the Wall Street Journal, they are attempting to replace shuttershades as ‘the kewl new glasses that tweens will wear.’ I think they were designed by some innovative designer who is good at both ‘design’ and ‘branding.’ Might be some sort of re-branding campaign for Asia since people see them as being ‘rigid’ and ‘communist.’

I was a Teacher’s Assistant for a Consumer Psychology course at Wharton (a Relevant Business School), and u can see the impact of AZNs on our modern society and global economy when you put on a pair of slanties. The concept behind the slanty is attempting to ‘degrade AZNs’, but also ‘become one’ with the AZN population.

“Slanties” is actually a derogatory term for Asian peoples, because their eyes are slanted, kinda like the glasses. The small ’slit’ through which they can see is supposed to represent how AZNs can’t really have a global view, and they are only really good at small tasks that they focus on, but this ingrained worth ethic is also what helped Japan and China to ‘kick every1s ass at business, engineering, and everything else important.

Much like ‘every 1 wanted to be black’ back when rap/hip-hop/pre-Obama-african-american-culture was blowing up, these glasses are an attempt to re-brand the AZN as ‘a race worth wanting to be.’ Sort of like ‘accepting their supremacy’ as a viable group of peoples, a source of stuff/products/architecture/memes that look kewl [via Japan], and a model from which 2 build a functional economy.

Feel kinda weird about how AZNs are ‘winning’ everything. Used to think that they were sort of a ‘novelty race’ who were just trying to look kute, but I think I was focusing one the wrong ones that didn’t actually represent the majority of the AZN population [via Gwen Stefani's AZNs].

[via http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/09/what-would-u-do-if-u-bought-azn-reader.html

Still feeling sad that America is ‘losing ground.’ worried about white people and their cultural identity.

Previous posts about AZN influence on the modern world
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/03/should-i-h8-azns.html

People who go to Dan Deacon concerts seem like real bros

Carles — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:19:26 +0000

Photo via Brooklyn Vegan

I was looking at this picture of a Dan Deacon concert, and it was kinda weird. I expected a bunch of entry-level altbros and female alts in headbands to be in the crowd. However, I feel like his audience has sort of weeded itself out. In this picture you will notice that every bro has one of the following physical traits:

a beard
glasses
balding

I guess in a way, every1 wants to ‘look like their favourite musician.’ If it is a tween girl wanting to look like Hannah Montana, or a bro wanting to look like Dan Deacon, there is a certain ‘kewl’ aesthetic that surrounds a famous person. Think it’s pretty interesting how no ‘entry level girls’ are at the front, maybe cuz the guys in the front might ‘too mature’/'creppy’/'not their idea of a guy 2 randomly make out with at a Dan Deacon Concert.’

The audience is full of ‘getting older’ bros who ‘actually like Dan Deacon’s music. I’m not sure if I like his music. I don’t think it is ‘electro’ even though it is made with electronic instruments. From what I have read, he has a new album out, but I think it probably sounds like his old albums, and that means it is ‘pretty whatever.’

Maybe I should see him live, because I hear he puts on a conceptual show, but it seems like it would be some sort of sausagefest without any twinks, and I’m not sure if that’s ‘really my scene.’ Also wish he’d perform on stage so that people could see him. Think he is ‘trying to be artsy’ or something, but he probs needs to ’sell out’ and hire a female singer or something who is ‘hella sexy.’

Previous funnie Dan Deacon meme with a fatbro in the background

http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/save-america-end-obesity.html

Do yall like Dan Deacon, or do you think you would have naively been more into him if u could travel back in time to the year 2002?

What AZNs will wear in the postShutterShades era

Carles — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:23:00 +0000

[Photo by Thecobrasnake]
I often wonder what will be next after shutter shades. What type of glasses will take shuttershades’ non-functionality to the next level while maintaining a mass-market appeal? Fortunately, this innovative AZN was able to usher in the post-shuttyshades era!

How Innovative r u when it comes to products & trends?

On this graph:

AZNs/Japanazns/It Girls/designers/alt-celebs = innovators.
AltBros who read too many blogs = Early Adopters
AltBags/AltBros = Early Majority
Mainstreamers + Maltstreamers + entrylevel alts= Late Majority
Cool Dads + PostMainstreamers wearing costumes = Laggards

[Please help me revise the theory behind this graph!]

I remember one of the most astounding technological innovations in the history of the Alternative Economy was the creation of a pair of glasses without traditional lenses that still offered u the opportunity to block the sun from irritating ur retina. The Shutter Shades were one of the most amazing products some1 has ever designed, kinda like an iPhone or a Pringles can. It’s just good to know that glasses makers are still pushing forward, trying to find something new.

It’s good to know that Innovators are still willing to take risks, and keep introducing trends into the alternative trendosphere.

Does n e 1 else miss the golden age of Shutter Shades?

What is the name of this style of glasses?

Carles — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:30:00 +0000

[Photo by GadeMode]
What’s the deal with this kind of glasses? Are they intended to be post-post-ironically functional glasses for people who actually have poor vision? I’ve seen them on a few Cool Dads, but part of me thinks they make a man look krazier than Child Predator Glasses.

Should they be called “Cool Dad Glasses”? Or like “alt safety goggles”?

This style of glasses combined with intense sideburns can make you look like the kind of person who has murdered some one and destroyed all of the evidence [via wood chipper]. This may or may not be worse than child predator glasses.

But srsly, here’s a picture of Ben Gibbard with the think tank that put Death Cab together when they were all 12 years old with the hopes of establishing the meaningful-core genre.

These dudes:DeathCab :: Lou Pearlman : NSYNC + BSB

Choose Your Own Harry Potter Glasses

Carles — Mon, 26 May 2008 19:55:00 +0000

Glasses are clearly an important part of the underground fashion economy in 2008. These large glasses are recommended for nightlife-use only. I read in a medical journal that if you go out in the sun wearing Harry Potter 2.0 Glasses, your retina will disintegrate.

Is there a name for them besides ‘Harry Potter Glasses’?

Be careful, yall. Get your vision tested once a year.
Love yall.

[Via I Can Teach U How To Do It]

The Lead Singer of Hot Chip & His Child Predator Glasses

Carles — Tue, 20 May 2008 02:52:00 +0000

[Photo by Redheadwalking on flickr]

I think one day we will look back and realize that the lead singer of Hot Chip was one of the most important people in the history of the Serial Kiler/Child Predator Glasses Movement.

In this picture, he has the gaze of a man trapped in a society that doesn’t understand the complexity of his social and emotional needs.

[Photo by Stephen Mcleod]

The National Sex offender Registry (look up predators in ur neighborhood and start a street fashion blog)
http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Kute Girls In Big Glasses

Carles — Sun, 04 May 2008 10:06:00 +0000

Have you ever walked into a LensCrafters and requested the largest frames possible? I used to think that over-sized glasses could only make your non-eye facial features appear to be smaller than they actually are, but does this girl disprove that theory? Do large glasses make all of your features seem big?

James Avery Charm Bracelets: Big in 2k10?

[image by Kavin Vs Bear]

Great Forums for D-Bags

Carles — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 21:30:00 +0000

At the Kanye West blog, there’s a place where you can submit your photos in the STRONGER glasses.

So you could be featured like these broads…

Or this greaseball…

Or this picture that was jacked from my favourite Cobrasnake photoset of some kid’s Super Sweet 16 where he wanted Steve Aoki to play.

View that hilarious photoset here:

Thanks Kanye. Hopefully he raps over ‘Homecoming’ by the Teenagers soon.

View the entire gallery here:
http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/page.php?content=stronger_sightings

How to become famous.

Carles — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 01:27:00 +0000

I heard the way to jumpstart your art/modeling/blogging/music career is to get photographed by multiple partypix sites on the same night, with a memorable costume prop.

Look at this QT on the CobraSnake

Nice Glasses! I think this picture could be the inspiration for a post-suicidegirls porn site that’s something along the lines of ‘SPOOGE ON A HIPSTER’S IRONIC GLASSES.’ (This would be a site for both males and females).

Look at her as she finds the camera of Last Nite’s Partie. So foggy! Bangers are pretty humid.