HIPSTER RUNOFF

As yall know, tons of alternative people have recently purchased hybrids and started 2 ride bikes in an effort to 'go green.' It seems like they don't realize that they are still 'fucking corporate sellouts' because they are still supporting multibillion dollar companies. I feel like there will be a new wave of activism called 'The Green Animal Rights Movement' that will mix 'going green' with fairly utilizing animals as a method of transportation.

It seems like owning a horse might declare 2 the world that u r an individual who 'truly understands' that the world is an ecosystem, and we need to start relying more on other humans and animals. I feel like a lot of indie aesthetics sort of allude towards 'going back 2 the wilderness.' Seems like horses might be the way to get there. Most people think that they should be 'worshiped' for 'going green' but they don't realize that they are just 'adapting 2 the evils of modern society.' Truly alternative people will find a way to break free from society.

Feel sad that most of my bros just bought their first Priuses with their first job's salary. As if they are 'saving the world' but also trying to cryptically 'look rich.' Kinda weird when people who 'used to buy BMWs' start 2 buy hybrids 2 seem like they 'care about the environment.

I feel like a middle aged man driving a Prius is the tween equivalent of an entry level alt wearing an Am Appy headband.

Sorta just want to get a 'keut alt GF' and ride in2 the sunset. Maybe we won't move 2 Paris, but maybe we can move to a rural area in America and buy a lil farm or something? Maybe life is just abt lowered expectations.

Not sure what sort of facilities you need to own a horse, or if there are any 'traffic laws' for horseback riding within the city. I feel like riding a horse might be more authentic than 'riding the subway' since so many people on the subway don't even realize the beauty of public transportation--sometimes it degenerates into a celebration of 'being stuck in ur life.'

Still kinda sad that Barbaro was executed. Miss him like I miss Heath.

Do yall know of any good animals 2 ride?
How do u transcend society on a daily basis?
Do u shop at Whole Foods?

PHOTOS BY CLARISSA ROUDABUSH VIA freewilliamsburg

As you know, I have refrained from blogging about the Girl Talk live experience because of his increasing levels of inauthenticity. However, I noticed a lot of terrible things happening at his show that have to do with one of my biggest passions--'going green.' For those of you who don't know, the phrase 'going green' relates to 'doing shit that will help 2 save our environment and keep humans around 4ever.' As u can see, Girl Talk's show is not very 'green.' Not sure what the opposite of 'going green' is.

It seems like the Girl Talk is a 'celebration of waste', like they are just converting a local park into a 'huge fucking dumpster.'

Not sure if toilet paper shooting technology really enhances the live music experience. Most bands I have seen did not construct 'waste machines' that fling paper into the air--instead they focus on making authentic indie rock.

People even find a way to use the wasted toilet paper as 'temporary clothes', then they probs 'wiped their metaphorical asses' b4 throwing it on the ground.

Probably is some sort of 'status symbol' at Girl Talk shows, much like mainstream kids are 'proud of their Abercrombie', alts at GT shows are 'proud that the Lord delivered them some toilet paper'

Photos like this make me 100% certain that the ice caps will melt, and the oceans will flood 90% of the land on Earth during my lifetime.

If I had some tweenage kids, I probably wouldn't let them attend a Girl Talk show. Not only are there structural dangers when it comes to '200 kids crashing a temporary stage', but also it seems like a 'big ass' 'tweenage fuckfest.'

Seems really unchill. Worried that there are 'altbro predators' there.

Ultimately, I am enraged that Girl Talk promotes such waste. We are trying to save the environment, but it seems like his live show figures that if 'shit gets crazy', then it is worth it. The concept of 'toilet paper' is wasteful, as is the act of 'shooting that shit into the air on top of a sea of alts.'

Ultimately, I am sad that Jaime, the latino man who works as a foreman for the Parks and Recreation Department will have to clean up the mess.

Put litter in its place.
Support GREEN artists.
Save the Environment.
Save Jaime.

PHOTOS BY CLARISSA ROUDABUSH VIA freewilliamsburg

Feeling sad in a celebration of waste.